Anter
- 1. Nā lili ma luna o "kekahi a i ʻole nā mea ʻē aʻe akā ʻo wau"
- 2. ʻO ke kūlana "ʻAʻole wau i moe kolohe me kēlā wahine"
- 3. Ke kāne alpha kaohi ʻole ʻia
- 4. ka infidelity pilikia waena o ke ola
- 5. ʻO ka mea moekolohe
- 6. Ka hihia holoʻokoʻa
- Pono e kū ka lawehala
- Pono ka lawehala e hana me ka huhū
- Pono ka mea hewa e mihi i ka mihi maoli
- E hoʻomaka ka mea i hewa i ka hilinaʻi hou
- Pono ka mea i huhū e hoʻomaopopo i ka pilina o ka pilina
Ma ke ʻano he psychotherapist, ua hana au ma kahi o ʻekolu mau makahiki me nā kāne. ʻAʻole hiki ke ʻike ʻia, hoʻokahi mea e lawe mai i kahi mau (a i ʻole he lālā o ka hui) i loko o ka mālama ʻana he infidelity. Makemake wau e kaʻana aku iā ʻoe i kekahi mau manaʻo a me nā kuanaʻike e pili ana i ka moekolohe ma muli o koʻu ʻike nui ma ke ʻano he therapist male a me ka loea.
ʻO ka infidelity i kekahi kekelē i wehewehe ʻia e nā "maka o ka maka (ka mea i hōʻeha ʻia)." Hoʻokahi wahine, ua hana wau me ke kāhea ʻana i ka loio male male i ke kakahiaka nui ua hopu ʻo ia i kāna kāne e nānā nei i nā kiʻi ʻino. Ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, ua hana wau me kekahi mau kāne ʻē aʻe i loaʻa ka "male hāmama," a ʻo ka manawa wale nō i loaʻa kahi pilikia ka manawa i hoʻomaka ai ka wahine e ʻike i kekahi o nā kāne no ke kope.
Eia kekahi o nā ʻano o nā hanana i ʻike ʻia ma ke ʻano he "infidelity" na ka ʻaoʻao hōʻeha (e ʻoluʻolu e hoʻomaopopo: hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻohui i kekahi o kēia mau hanana):
1. Nā lili ma luna o "kekahi a i ʻole nā mea ʻē aʻe akā ʻo wau"
ʻO kēia ke kūlana me ka wahine i hopu i kāna kāne e nānā nei i ka porn a i ʻole ke kāne "pupule" me ka lili ke hele a kāna wahine me ka mea lawelawe.
2. ʻO ke kūlana "ʻAʻole wau i moe kolohe me kēlā wahine"
ʻIʻike ʻia hoʻi ma ke ʻano ʻano naʻau. I kēia hihia, ʻaʻohe pili kino a moe kolohe paha akā aia kahi aloha hohonu a kūpaʻa a me ka hilinaʻi i kekahi kanaka.
3. Ke kāne alpha kaohi ʻole ʻia
ʻO kēia (maʻamau akā ʻaʻole mau) nā kāne i loaʻa kahi "pono" no kahi harem. Ma muli o ko lākou mana i koho ʻia e lākou iho i ka mana, hanohano, a me ka pono, loaʻa iā lākou kekahi mau wahine e hele "ma ka ʻaoʻao." ʻO ka hapa nui o ka manawa ʻaʻole lilo kēia i mau mea aloha akā, akā, hoʻolako i nā mea e māʻona ai i kāna kuko nui a makemake ʻia. ʻAneʻane loaʻa i kēia mau kāne kahi maʻi pilikino narcissistic.
4. ka infidelity pilikia waena o ke ola
Ua hana wau me kekahi mau poʻe (a i ʻole ko lākou mau hoa male) i mare mua a ʻaʻole loaʻa kahi manawa e "pāʻani i ke kahua" a i ʻole "lūlū i kā lākou mau ʻāhiu hihiu", ke pā lākou i ke kau waena, makemake lākou e hoʻi a relive i kā lākou ʻumikūmākolu hou. ʻO ka pilikia wale nō he kāne a he 3 mau keiki i ka home.
5. ʻO ka mea moekolohe
ʻO kēia ka poʻe e hoʻohana i ka moekolohe a me ke aloha e like me ka lāʻau. Hoʻohana lākou i ka moekolohe (porn, wahine hoʻokamakama, nā lomilomi erotika, nā kalapu wehe, nā ʻohiʻohi) e hoʻololi i ka naʻau. Lilo ka lolo i ke kōkua o ka lawe mai (i ka mea pinepine a kaumaha a kaumaha hoʻi ka manaʻo) a lilo lākou i "addict" i ka hana.
6. Ka hihia holoʻokoʻa
ʻO kēia ke hui kekahi kanaka i ka wahine a kekahi a "aloha" lākou me kēlā kanaka. ʻO kēia ka manawa ʻoi loa o ka paʻakikī o ka moekolohe.
ʻO ka mea nui e hiki ai iaʻu ke ʻōlelo (ʻuwā mai ka piko kuahiwi inā hiki) ʻo kēia: ʻAʻole hiki i nā pālua ke ola, hiki iā lākou ke holomua, ʻoiai ma hope o ka moekolohe ʻole. Eia nō naʻe, aia kekahi mau mea e pono ai no kēia hanana.
Pono e kū ka lawehala
Pono nā lālā o ka wahine e hoʻopaʻa i kahi kaʻina lōʻihi, pono a aniani. Mākaukau pinepine ka mea lawehala e "neʻe i mua" ma hope koke iho o kona "mihi." ʻAʻole lākou i ʻike he mau mahina, mau makahiki, a he mau makahiki paha e hana ai i loko o ka ʻeha a me ka palekana ʻole o ka kumakaia a me ka hoʻopunipuni. ʻO kekahi mau ala ka hopena o ka infidelity me lākou no ke koena o ko lākou ola.
Pono ka lawehala e hana me ka huhū
Pono ka mea lawehala e aʻo e lawe i nā kuʻi mai ka inaina a ʻeha o ka mea hōʻeha me ka ʻole o ka pale ʻana.
Pono ka mea hewa e mihi i ka mihi maoli
E ʻike ka lawehala a laila kamaʻilio (pinepine) i ka hohonu a me ka mihi maoli. Hele kēia ma ʻō aku o ka "E kala mai iaʻu ʻeha ʻoe iā ʻoe" i kahi ʻano o ke aloha no ka hopena o kēia a pili i kā lākou mea aloha.
E hoʻomaka ka mea i hewa i ka hilinaʻi hou
Pono ka mea i huhū, i kekahi manawa, e hoʻokuʻu i ka makaʻu, inaina, a me ka hilinaʻi ʻole e hoʻomaka e hilinaʻi a wehe hou.
Pono ka mea i huhū e hoʻomaopopo i ka pilina o ka pilina
E wehe ka poʻe i huhū i kekahi manawa i kā lākou ʻāpana i ka pilina — ʻaʻole ka moe kolohe ponoʻī — akā i ka dynamics pili e pono ai e loaʻa kahi male maikaʻi a laila ua loaʻa iā lākou ma mua. Lawe ʻia i kahi kanaka kīnā ʻole e pili i ka hihia; lawe ia i ʻelua mau kānaka haʻahaʻa ʻole e launa.
Inā hoʻokumu ʻia ka male ma ka match mua maikaʻi, hiki i kahi kāne ke koho lāua i ka hana - kūkulu hou i kahi pilina ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi. I kaʻu puke mua, wehewehe wau i kēlā, e like me Dorothy ma ʻO ke kupua o Oz, lawe ke ola i kekahi manawa i kahi makani puahiohio (e like me ka infidelity) i loko o ko mākou ola. Akā inā hiki iā mākou ke noho ma ke Alanui Yellow Brick, hiki iā mākou ke ʻike i kahi ʻoi aku ʻoi aku ʻo Kansas-i kēia hihia, kahi male ikaika - ma kēlā ʻaoʻao.