Anter
Hiki iā mākou āpau ke ʻike ia ke hele nei mākou i kahi pilina olakino, akā ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke kuhi he aha ke kikoʻī e manaʻo ai iā mākou pēlā.
He aha ka mea ma hope o kēlā ʻano ikaika o ka pilina me kā mākou hoa? Hilinaʻi Mahalo? Pili aloha? Aia nā mea hou aku. ʻO ke kumu a mākou e manaʻo ai pēlā, ʻo ka pilina olakino e alakaʻi i kahi ola olakino nui.
Akā ʻo ka hoʻomohala ʻana i nā pilina olakino kahi mea e pono e mālama ʻia. ʻO ka mālama ʻana i ka ikaika a paʻa e koi ana i kahi nui o ka hana.
ʻAʻole pili ka olakino i kā mākou ke ola naʻau a me ka noʻonoʻo akā ʻo ia ke kumu o ko mākou ola. ʻO kā mākou makemake e hoʻopili aku me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe kahi ʻāpana nui o ka mea e hana iā mākou i ke ala.
Ua ʻike nā noiʻi he nui e pili ana i nā hana olaola i kahi loulou ikaika ma waena o ko mākou olakino a me nā pilina a mākou e mālama ai, akā e luʻu hohonu ana mākou a ma ʻō aku o nā hopena noiʻi.
No laila inā ʻoe e haʻohaʻo i ke koʻikoʻi o nā pilina olakino a pehea e loaʻa ai kahi pilina olakino?
Ke hāʻawi nei mākou i kahi akāka no ke aha e kūkulu ai i nā pilina olakino e like me ke ʻano a pehea e mālama ai pēlā.
ʻO kāu utopia ponoʻī
Ma ke ʻano he kanaka, ʻimi mau mākou i kā mākou "wahi i ka lā," kahi hiki iā mākou ke kāhea i kā mākou iho, kahi e hāʻawi iā mākou i kahi manaʻo maoli o ke kumu.
ʻO kēlā wahi elusive, i kahakaha pinepine ʻia e ka huaʻō "utopia", ua wehewehe ʻia i nā manawa he nui me he mea ʻole a i manaʻo ʻole ʻia.
Eia nō naʻe, aia nō nā utopias, akā ʻaʻole naʻe e like me nā wahi ʻāina. Akā, ʻike ʻia lākou i ka nani o kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe, kahi ʻuhane.
Ke manaʻo maoli mākou he pono, lilo koke mākou i ʻāpana o kahi mea nui aʻe. Inā aia kekahi mea nui i hiki ke hauʻoli, e hoʻāʻo ana e hoʻomaikaʻi i ka honua i kekahi ʻano e lilo i mea ʻoi aku ma mua o ka pono.
ʻO kēia manaʻo o ke kumu ka mea nui e hoʻomau iā mākou e hele i ke ola, neʻe i mua. ʻO nā quirks liʻiliʻi a kā mākou hoa (s) e waiwai ai ko mākou honua, a lilo kēia i mau mea i aloha nui ʻia.
ʻOiai, he mea nui ka mokulele kino e like me ke ʻano o ka naʻau. Nui nā kapu i hana i ko mākou kino i mau hale paʻa paʻa, e hoʻohuli i kā mākou moekolohe i nā hana i kiaʻi ʻia.
Akā i kēia lā ua hala mākou i kēlā, ua ʻoluʻolu mākou me nā ala hou a me nā kōkua kino e hiki ai ke hoʻoulu i kā mākou mau erogenous āpau.
Ma hope o nā hoʻokolohua moekolohe e pili ana i ka anal orgasms a i ʻole S&M ke hilinaʻi loa nei i kā mākou mau hoa - ka hilinaʻi e hiki ai ke hoʻolilo i ko mākou kino i mau heiau e like me nā wahi hoʻomana maoli.
Inā mākaukau mākou e mākaʻikaʻi iā lākou me ke aloha a me ke aloha, hiki i kēlā me kēia o lākou ke lilo i ʻ utopia ponoʻī - kahi kahi a mākou e pili maoli ai a he kumu kūikawā e hoʻokō.
No laila he aha ka pilina olakino ke loaʻa iā ʻoe kēlā manaʻo nui loa i loaʻa iā ʻoe ka utopia.
ʻO ka haki ʻana i ka paia o loko
ʻO Pink Floyd's album legendary "The Wall," ʻo ia hoʻi ke mele "Makuahine," hōʻike maikaʻi iā mākou pehea mākou e kūkulu nei i nā paia o loko mai ko mākou wā kamaliʻi.
ʻO ka mea mua, pale pinepine ʻia mākou e ko mākou mau mākua; a laila hoʻomau mākou i ka hāpai ʻana i kēia mau paia i luna aʻe ma kā mākou iho, ʻaʻole ʻike i ka wāwahi ʻana i ko mākou manaʻo pilikino a mahalo iā mākou iho i ka manawa like.
E lilo ka mahalo i ʻano hierarchy, a hoʻomaka mākou e ʻeha i loko, hoʻokaʻawale ʻia mai kā mākou maoli maoli.
ʻO nā pōmaikaʻi o ka pilina olakino ka hiki iā ia ke kūkulu hou i ka mahalo i kona ʻano maoli - ma ke ʻano he ʻike i kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe, a me ka mahalo i nā mea āpau e kū hoʻokahi ai ke kanaka.
ʻO ka ʻāpana like i ka pilina e alakaʻi i ka hoʻomaopopo like ʻana, e hoʻopau ana i ka pono e hāpai i nā paia i loko e hūnā i nā wahi nāwaliwali, nā makaʻu, a me nā mea a mākou e hilahila ai.
ʻO Stress kekahi o nā mea kūkulu nui o kēia mau paia o loko, a ʻo ke kākoʻo naʻau a me ka pilikanaka i hāʻawi ʻia e nā hoa e like me ka lawe ʻana i kahi sledgehammer iā ia.
Ua hōʻoia ʻia e pili ana kahi pilina olakino i ka hoʻoliʻiliʻi o ka stress hormone cortisol, keu hoʻi i ka hihia o ka noho cohabitation.
ʻOiai, he mea nui ka hānai ʻana i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo a me ke kamaʻilio ākea no kēia kaʻina hana. E haki wale kā mākou paia o loko inā hiki iā mākou ke kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka mea a mākou e manaʻo a noʻonoʻo ai me kā mākou mau hoa i kahi ala aniani.
ʻO ka mahalo a me ka ʻike o ka Mutuale mai ka pono me ka makaʻu ʻole o ka hoʻohewa ʻia. ʻAʻohe o nā mea huna a me nā wahaheʻe i kahi pilina olakino.
Ke ʻike nei ʻaʻole ʻoe
ʻO ka haki ʻana i ka paia o loko ʻaʻole pono mākou e loaʻa nā palena - he ʻāpana like ia o ka olakino a me ke olakino.
I mea e launa hou ai me kā mākou maoli maoli, pono mākou e makaʻala i ka mea ʻaʻole.
ʻAʻole ʻae kahi ʻāpana nui o ka launa pū ʻana i kēia lā e hōʻike i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i ka mea e ʻoluʻolu ai mākou a me ka mea ʻole, a ke hoʻolilo nei mākou i ka manawa no ka hoʻohālikelike ʻana he mea ʻole mākou.
Kumuhana i nā mea i manaʻo ʻia o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, komo mākou i nā pale ma mua o nā poʻe he nui - ko mākou mau haku, nā mākua, a me nā hoa aloha pū kekahi.
Akā ma ka mālama ʻana i nā pilina olakino, hiki iā mākou hoʻonohonoho i kā mākou mau palena a mālama iā lākou.
Me he mea lā he mau palena a i ʻole nā lula i ka pilina, akā ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo e makemake mau kahi hoa aloha e ʻike pehea mākou e makemake ai e mālama ʻia.
ʻO ia ke kumu he mea nui e hōʻike i kāu hoa ke pono ʻoe i kahi āpau a ʻo ka hope, a me ka mahalo i kēlā me kēia makemake, makemake, manaʻo, a me nā manaʻo, hiki ke "ʻae i ka ʻae ʻole."
ʻAʻole maopopo iā mākou i kā mākou mau palena a hiki i ka hoʻokumu ʻana iā lākou me ka maopopo. Ke hana mākou pēlā i kahi pilina, ʻaʻole mākou e koi i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe i ko mākou ola, e ʻike nei ʻo wai mākou a ʻaʻole mākou makemake.
ʻO ka hapalua ʻē aʻe
Aia kekahi kumu maikaʻi e hele pinepine ai nā hoa kuhihewa i ka wā kamaliʻi. ʻO ka pili koko kekahi mea, akā makemake mākou i kahi mea hiki ke hoʻomaopopo iā mākou ma kahi hohonu, ʻo ia ka hapalua o ka puʻuwai kūpikipiki.
ʻO kēia ke kumu i kapa ʻia ai nā hoa ma ke ʻano "ka hapalua ʻē aʻe" - ua hōʻike ʻia nā noiʻi e hiki i kahi hoa aloha ke kōkua iā mākou e ola hou ma hope o ke kīpē puʻuwai.
E like me ka hihia o kahi hoa makamaka, ʻaʻole ia he hoʻokalakupua. E pili ana i ka loaʻa ʻana i kekahi ma ko mākou ʻaoʻao i hiki ke lawe i ko mākou noʻonoʻo mai ka ʻeha, hiki ke hāʻawi i kahi ʻano maoli o ke kākoʻo naʻau.
ʻO nā hoa i nā pilina olakino e like me nā wahi nalowale o lākou iho, a laila hui hou. ʻO kēia ke kumu i loko o ia mau pilina, paipai ʻia mākou e hana i nā loli i ke ola olakino - e hoʻoikaika kino, haʻalele i ka puhipaka, ʻai olakino, a pēlā aku.
Inā hana ʻia ko mākou kapuwaʻi i nā hana olakino e ko mākou poʻe ʻuhane, ʻoi aku paha mākou e hāhai iā lākou i ka hui hou ʻana a mākou e kali nei no ko mākou ola holoʻokoʻa. No laila ʻaʻole pili ka pili olakino i ka ʻike ʻana i ka mea ʻo mākou, akā i ka mea hiki iā mākou ke lilo.
E like me kāu e ʻike ai, pili ka pilina olakino i ko mākou wahi ponoʻī i ka honua. Kahi me ka ʻole o nā paia o loko o ka makaʻu a me ka hopohopo, akā me nā palena paʻa.
Kahi me kahi manaʻo maopopo kahi e hiki ai iā mākou ke lilo i mana maikaʻi loa o mākou iho. ʻO kēia ke ʻano o ke olakino maoli.
A ʻo nā mea āpau e mālama ai i kahi laʻa e mālama i kahi makaʻu a kaʻana like i nā mea e hana nei i loko o ko mākou poʻo a me ko mākou puʻuwai me nā mea ʻē aʻe koʻikoʻi.