Anter
- 1. E ʻike i ke kumu o kāu i koho ai i kekahi i kekahi
- 2. E wehewehe i nā palena pilina mai ka kiʻi ʻana
- 3. Hilinaʻi kekahi i kekahi
- 4. Pale aku i ka clingy
- 5. E mālama i nā mea ikaika
- 6. E hoʻolilo i ka pilina i mea nui
Aia ʻoe i loko o kahi pilina aloha, pili pū kekahi i ka hopena! Ua aʻo ʻoe i nā mea he nui mai kāu mau hana i hala i hala a makemake e hana i nā mea āpau e ʻike ai i ka hauʻoli o kēia pili no ʻolua. He aha kekahi mau ala e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke mālama i ka pilina kāne kāne me ka momona, ʻoluʻolu a kūleʻa hoʻi?
1. E ʻike i ke kumu o kāu i koho ai i kekahi i kekahi
Hoʻomaopopo iā ʻoe iho i nā kumu i holo ʻole ai nā pilina i hala. Ua launa ʻoe me kēlā kāne no ka mea he kālā kāna a makemake e hoʻolilo iā ia ma luna ou, akā ua nānā ʻole ʻoe he narcissist a kipi mau ʻo ia. ʻO kekahi o kāu ipo i hala he nani ia; ʻo ka pilikia ma laila ʻaʻohe o ʻolua mea e kamaʻilio ai ma waho o ka lumi moe.
I kēia manawa naʻe, ʻike ʻoe aia nā mea āpau me ke kaulike kūpono. ʻAʻole ʻoe e “pono” e noho pū me kekahi no kekahi kumu ʻē aʻe akā ke aloha. ʻAʻole kau ʻia kou ʻume iā ia ma kāna waihona panakō a me kāna ʻano kino. ʻIke ʻoe aloha ʻoe iā ia no nā kumu kūpono āpau. ʻO kēia ka hoʻomaka maikaʻi loa e hōʻoia i ka lōʻihi o ka lōʻihi o kou pilina.
2. E wehewehe i nā palena pilina mai ka kiʻi ʻana
He mea nui kēia no ka pilina peʻa kūleʻa no ka mea koi ia i ke kamaʻilio pū ʻana me kāu hoa e ʻike pono ʻolua e ʻimi nei i ka ʻano o ka pilina. Inā pono kekahi o ʻoukou i nā mea e hāmama a ke ʻimi nei kekahi i kahi hoʻonohonoho ponoʻī, maopopo leʻa ʻaʻole no ʻolua makemake ʻia kekahi i kekahi ma ke ʻano aloha.
No ka nui o kou manaʻo he kāne kēia na ʻoe, inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e nānā i nā pilina e like me kāu e hana nei, ke hoʻonohonoho nei ʻoe iā ʻoe iho no ka hoka. ʻO kēia kahi kamaʻilio kūpono e hoʻomaikaʻi hou i kēlā me kēia ʻeono mau mahina a ʻoi paha, no ka mea ke ulu nei kāu pilina, hiki i kāu mau mea i manaʻo ai. Ua hoʻoholo kekahi mau kāne male i hoʻomaka me ka uku ma ka monogamy, ma hope o nā makahiki he nui, ʻo ka wehe ʻana i ka pilina kahi mea a lāua e makemake ai e ʻimi. ʻO nā mea like ke nānā aku, he mea nui e ʻae like ʻolua iā lākou.
3. Hilinaʻi kekahi i kekahi
ʻAʻohe mea i hiki ke hoʻokau i kahi pili ma mua o ka lili. Kūlike ʻole i ka manaʻo o kekahi poʻe, ke hōʻike nei i ka lili ke ʻike ʻoe i kāu ipo e launa pū ana me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ʻaʻole ia he hōʻailona o ke aloha. (ʻAʻole aloha olakino, i kēlā me kēia hihia.) Inā ʻoe he lili kūlohelohe, e noʻonoʻo e wehe i nā kumu ma hope o kēia palekana me kahi kākāʻōlelo aʻoaʻo i mea e alakaʻi ʻole ai i kāu hoa. ʻAʻole hiki i kahi pilina kaulike ke ola inā ʻaʻohe ikaika o ka hilinaʻi ma waena o nā mea komo ʻelua.
4. Pale aku i ka clingy
Aia paha kahi maʻamau i nā lā hoʻomaka o kāu moʻolelo aloha e makemake e noho me kāu ipo i ka pō a me ke ao. He kuhi hewa maʻamau kēia e hana ai a hiki ke lilo i kumu e pau koke nā pilina hou. E nānā pono e haʻalele i kekahi i kekahi a me ka lumi hanu. ʻOiai ʻaʻole ia he kūlohelohe iā ʻoe, e hoʻoikaika iā ʻoe iho e hele i waho a komo i nā hana āu i aloha ai ma mua o kou male ʻana. ʻO kāu mau haʻuki, kāu papa hana kākau, kāu hana manawaleʻa me ka hui LGBT — ʻo nā mea āpau āu i pili ai ma mua o ka hui ʻana me Mr. Right, e hoʻomau i ka hana ʻana. Mālama ia iā ʻoe i ka hoihoi a e hoihoi i kāu kāne iā ʻoe.
5. E mālama i nā mea ikaika
ʻAʻohe mea e hōʻemi i ke ahi o ke aloha ma mua o ka maʻamau. Ke kuʻi ʻolua i kou pilina, maʻalahi ka hāʻule i loko o ka pahele o ka hana maʻamau. ʻOiai he maikaʻi ke manaʻo paʻa a paʻa hoʻi, luʻuluʻu ke ʻole ʻoe e haki i ka mea kahiko like kahiko mai kēlā manawa a kēia manawa. E nīnau i nā kāne kūleʻa pehea lākou e hoʻomau ai i ke ahi, a e haʻi lākou iā ʻoe e pili ana i ka lulu ʻana i kēlā me kēia manawa. ʻO nā huakaʻi hope o ka hopena pule, kahi wā hoʻomaha kūwaho, kahi haʻuki hou, e hoʻāʻo nei i kahi mea ʻokoʻa i loko o ka lumi moe ... e hele i waho o kāu wahi hōʻoluʻolu a ʻike i kahi e lawe ai kēia iā ʻoe a me kāu hoa.
6. E hoʻolilo i ka pilina i mea nui
E hōʻoia i kou manawa e hōʻike ai i kāu hoa āu e hoʻonoho mua ai i kou pilina. He aha kekahi mau ala e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke hana i kēia? E hele pū i nā hanana me ia, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole ʻoe hoihoi i kāna keʻena Kalikimaka. E hoʻolaʻa i hoʻokahi pō i kēlā me kēia pule a hiki i ka pō, kahi e hoʻāʻo ai i kahi hale ʻaina hou, e hele i ka symphony, e hoʻolohe i kahi haʻi ʻōlelo ma ke kulanui kūloko ... i kahi mea āu e hana pū nei. E hoʻolōʻihi i ka manawa e nānā ai i kekahi i kekahi a kamaʻilio ... e pili ana i kāu pule, kāu hana, kāu kaumaha a me kāu mau kūleʻa. A mai haʻalele ʻole i kou ola moekolohe! He mea maʻamau ia e ʻemi i kāu hana moekolohe ma hope o nā makahiki he nui, akā ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo e ʻae ʻoe i ka "maʻamau." ʻO ka hoʻopā ʻana kahi ʻāpana o ka hōʻike ʻana i kāu pakanā ʻo ia ka mea nui. E hoʻomanaʻo i ka mana o ka honi wale a me nā ʻapo lōʻihi. ʻOiai ua luhi kekahi o ʻoukou no ka moekolohe, ʻo ka lomilomi lōʻihi a hoʻomaha hoʻi kahi ala maikaʻi loa e kamaʻilio ai i ka nui o kou waiwai i kāu hoa.
Ke noho pū ʻoe me ke kanaka kūpono, makemake ʻoe e hana i nā mea e pono ai ka pilina. Mea pōmaikaʻi, no ka mea ua koho ʻoe i ke kanaka kūpono, ʻaʻole like kēia mau mea me he hana lā! Inā hauʻoli a pilina ʻelua kāu pilina pili wahine, ke hoʻokau nei i kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo he kūlohelohe. ʻO ke aloha maikaʻi kahi makana nui ʻole ia, a ke hana nei e ʻike he mea mau ia.