Anter
- 1. Hōʻike nā helu helu he maikaʻi ka ʻōlelo aʻo a ka male
- 2. E ʻike koke ʻoe i ke kākāʻōlelo male - a i nā manawa maʻamau
- 3. ʻO ka ʻōlelo aʻo male e hoʻomaikaʻi ai i ke kamaʻilio ʻana
- 4. Hiki iā ʻoe ke mālama i ka manawa a me ke kālā ma ka hele ʻana i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male
- 5. ʻAʻole hana ʻino ia
Inā ʻoe kekahi e noʻonoʻo mau iā ʻoe iho “hana ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male? ” ʻaʻole ʻoe wale nō.
Eia nō naʻe, me nā helu helu e hōʻike ana he 40 pākēneka o ka male mua, 60 pākēneka o ka lua o ka male ʻana a me ka nui 70 hapa haneri o ka male ʻekolu a pau i ka hemo male, ʻaʻole hiki ke ʻeha ke ʻike aku i kahi kākāʻōlelo male. Ma ka liʻiliʻi he mau manawa i kēlā me kēia makahiki.
Nui nā kumu no ke aha e loaʻa ai i kahi ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a ka wahine i ka hopena i mea maikaʻi loa e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke hana no kāu pilina. I ka manawa like, inā ʻaʻole ʻoe i hele e ʻike i ke kākāʻōlelo (a i ʻole therapist) ma mua, kūpono ia e makemake paha ʻoe i kekahi mau kumu paʻa no ke aha e ʻike ai ka poʻe he mea maikaʻi loa ia.
No laila, ke hiki mai i ka pane ʻana i nā nīnau- “hana anei ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male?” a "he aha ka mea e kali ai mai ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male?", eia nā kumu ʻelima e kōkua ai iā ʻoe e ʻike i ka mea maopopo nā pōmaikaʻi o ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male.
1. Hōʻike nā helu helu he maikaʻi ka ʻōlelo aʻo a ka male
I mea e pane ai i kāu nīnau pehea e kōkua ai ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male? a he mea kūpono paha ke aʻo ʻana i ka male? E luʻu kākou i kekahi ʻikepili ʻike kikoʻī.
Ua loaʻa ka manawa i ka noiʻi a me ka noiʻi hou ʻana i ka hopena o ka ʻōlelo aʻo male. Eia kekahi, ua hōʻike pū kekahi nā noiʻi e pili ana nā kāne a me nā ʻolelo aʻoaʻo i ka male a piha maikaʻi loa a hōʻike i kahi hoʻomaikaʻi kupaianaha i nā wahi like ʻole o ko lākou ola.
Mai ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana, ke olakino a me ke olakino olakino e hoʻonui i ka hana ʻana i ka pilina ʻohana a me ka pilikanaka kekahi mau hanana i ke ola o nā kāne i hele ma waena aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo
I hoʻokahi manawa ua mālama ʻia kahi noiʻi e ka ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa o ka Marriage and Family Therapists e pili ana i ka nui o ka poʻe i haʻalele i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male me he mea lā he hana maikaʻi ia na lākou.
Ma luna o 98 pākēneka i nīnau ʻia ua loaʻa iā lākou kahi kākāʻōlelo maikaʻi, 90 pākēneka i hōʻike i ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i ko lākou olakino naʻau ma hope o ka hele ʻana i ka ʻōlelo aʻo male, a aneane ʻelua ʻekolu o nā mea i komo i hōʻike i kahi olakino olakino olakino pū kekahi.
ʻO ia wale nō kahi kumu kūpono kūpono e noʻonoʻo ai i ka ʻike ʻana i kahi kākāʻōlelo a mea hoʻoponopono paha, ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻōlelo?
2. E ʻike koke ʻoe i ke kākāʻōlelo male - a i nā manawa maʻamau
ʻAʻole maopopo leʻa ka manawa o ka mau kāne i ka manawa e loaʻa ai ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male a i ka wā hea e ʻimi ai i ka ʻōlelo aʻo mare?
Inā ʻoe e kiʻi pū i kahi lumi o nā kāne hemo a nīnau iā lākou inā loaʻa iā lākou ka ʻōlelo aʻo aʻoaʻo male a inā pēlā, no ke aha i holo ʻole ai, makemake mākou e pili i ka hapa nui o lākou e ʻae ua hele lākou e ʻike i kahi kākāʻōlelo. lohi i loko o kā lāua male.
Inā ʻoe ma kahi kiko a wahi i loko o kāu pilina ma kahi āu e makemake ai e kāhea iā ia he "quits", ʻoiai e kōkua paha ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ka mea aʻoaʻo e lawe i nā hopena maikaʻi.
ʻO ka hele ʻana no ka ʻōlelo aʻo ʻana i ka male ma nā ʻano like ʻole like loa me ke kipa ʻana i kāu kauka no kāu nānā ʻana i nā manawa maʻamau. E like me kou kino e pono ai kāu male i ka mālama maʻamau i hana ʻia ma lalo o ka nānā ʻana a kahi ʻoihana.
ʻO ia ke kumu e ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi e ʻike i kekahi ma mua o ka hope a hele ma lalo o kekahi mau manawa o ka makahiki. Inā maikaʻi loa kāu male ʻana. A i ʻole ʻaʻole.
Hiki iā ʻoe ke koho aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo male ma ka pūnaewele inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa ka manawa e kipa aku ai i ka mea hoʻoponopono ma ke kino, a ʻo ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male pūnaewele e kōkua iā ʻoe e mālama i kahi kālā, no ka mea, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi ma mua o ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo i hana ʻia i loko o ke kanaka.
3. ʻO ka ʻōlelo aʻo male e hoʻomaikaʻi ai i ke kamaʻilio ʻana
Inā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo e like me kāu a me kāu wahine e kamaʻilio maikaʻi ai hiki iā ʻoe ke kū maoli e hoʻomaikaʻi i kēlā wahi, ʻo kekahi o nā keu pono o ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male ʻo ia hiki iā ʻoe ke kiʻi i nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pehea e kamaʻilio maikaʻi ai.
Hoʻokahi mea, ua aʻo ʻia nā mea hoʻoponopono male i ka pehea e hoʻohālikelike ai i nā mākau kamaʻilio maikaʻi ke hiki mai i ka hoʻolohe ʻana, e hana hou nei i ka mea a lākou i lohe ai i kā lākou mau mea maʻi a loaʻa pū nā ʻōlelo hoʻoholo.
Eia kekahi, ʻike nā mea aʻoaʻo male pehea e nānā pono ai i kahi kāne a hoʻoholo inā aia kekahi mau wahi e nele ai ke kamaʻilio ʻana (ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole ʻike ka wahine iā ia iho.
4. Hiki iā ʻoe ke mālama i ka manawa a me ke kālā ma ka hele ʻana i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male
Eia kekahi mea hou aʻe e kāhāhā wale paha iā ʻoe: E mālama ʻoe i nā kālā hou aku (e like me 20-40 pakeneka hou aku) a me ka manawa ma ka hele ʻana i nā kūkā kamaʻilio ʻana me nā kākāʻōlelo male a mea lapaʻau paha ma mua o ka hele hoʻokahi ʻana e ʻike i kahi psychologist a i ʻole psychiatrist.
I ka pili ʻana i ke kālā, no ka mea ʻo ka hapa nui o nā kākāʻōlelo aʻo he haʻahaʻa haʻahaʻa loa (eia kekahi, makemake pinepine lākou e hana i kahi papa uku no ʻoe inā ʻaʻole uhi kāu ʻinikua i ka mea a lākou e hoʻokau ai).
A hiki i ka manawa, i ka manawa o kahi mau mea ʻelua i kahi lumi, hiki i ke kākāʻōlelo male ke ʻike pono i ka ikaika o ka pilina. A ʻo kahi hopena, hiki iā lākou ke kuhikuhi pololei i nā pilikia a iho i lalo i ke aʻa o ka pilikia.
5. ʻAʻole hana ʻino ia
Ke koho ʻoe e hana pū me kekahi mea puʻuwai no ka ʻike ʻana i ke kūleʻa o ka male, hiki ke hana wale ia iā ʻoe.
ʻOiai aia kekahi mau kāne e ʻōlelo i kēlā aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo ua lawe maoli i nā pilikia e pili ana i kā lākou pilina, ʻo ia ka mea maʻamau no ka mea hiki i kahi kākāʻōlelo ke hoʻopuka i nā kumuhana a me nā pilikia ʻaʻole e ala aʻe i kahi ala ʻē aʻe.
Eia nō naʻe, mea nui e hoʻomanaʻo i ka pili aloha maoli ʻaʻole pili wale i ka loaʻa ʻana o nā manawa maikaʻi me kāu wahine. ʻO ia pū kekahi e pili ana i ka palupalu e kaʻana like i nā manaʻo, nā manaʻo a me nā ʻaoʻao i kou ʻano e kōkua iā lākou e ʻike i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo — ʻo ʻoukou āpau.
ʻO ka pili e ʻike i kekahi ma ke koho ʻana e aloha iā lākou a kūpaʻa i nā mea āpau. ʻO ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male ka mea kōkua e kōkua iā ʻoe e pili pono i ka mea āu i ʻike ai i ke aʻo ʻana e ʻapo pū kekahi i ka mea ʻike ʻole ʻia.
Ke ʻike ʻoe pehea e hana ai i kēlā, hiki i kāu male ʻana ke ʻoi aku ka ikaika ma mua o ka wā mau loa.