Anter
ʻO ka noho ʻana me kekahi mea e manaʻo ʻia ai ke hoʻopaʻa nā ʻelua i nā kaula. Eia nō naʻe, i kekahi manawa, ʻaʻole hele ʻelua kēia mau mea i ka lima. Ke kūkākūkā nei i nā mea maikaʻi a me nā maikaʻi ʻole o ka noho pū ʻana ma ke ʻano he kāne male a i ʻole he mau hoa ola maʻalahi kahi kumuhana e pilikia ai nā kāne he nui. Inā paha kekahi o nā koho ʻelua e hōʻike i kahi hopena i ka hapanui o nā pilikia i mua o ka lua e ʻike ʻia.
Nānā i ke ola i nā pilina
ʻO ka noho pū ʻana me ka male ʻole ʻana i ke kānāwai ka mea hiki ke hōʻoluʻolu e pili ana i ke kūʻokoʻa a me ke kūpaʻa. ʻOiai ka hapanui o ka poʻe e ʻike i kēia mea aloha liʻiliʻi a hōʻoluʻolu hoʻi ma mua o ka male ʻana i kā lākou mau hoa, hōʻoia ia i kahi hoʻopaʻapaʻa paʻa ke hiki mai i ka ʻike ʻana o ka poʻe i nā kaohi.
Mai kahi kuanaʻike, ʻelua mau mea i hoʻoholo e makemake lākou e kaʻana like i ko lākou ola a neʻe i lalo o ka hale like e hana impulsively ia i ka wā mua, ʻaʻole naʻe i ka holo lōʻihi. Ua haki nā kāne he nui ma hope o ka noho pū ʻana. ʻOiai he mea maʻalahi paha ia e hana a maʻalahi paha e pili ana i ka hoʻokō ʻana, akā no ka poʻe e hoʻoholo e kūpaʻa a noho pū me ka ʻole o nā pili pili kānāwai e hōʻike ʻia ka ʻaoʻao ʻē. Kākaʻikahi ka makaʻu o ka wahine male ʻole e like me ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana i nā waiwai, kahi hoʻololi o ke kūlana male a me ke ʻano e loli ai kēia i kā lākou kiʻi, no ka ʻike pilikino a ʻoihana paha. I ka hoʻohālikelike ʻana, ʻike pinepine nā kāne male i nā pilina aloha ʻole a hauʻoli ʻole ma muli o kēia mau kumu. Ma kekahi ʻano, ʻo ka mea makemake e noho pū me ʻoe e hōʻoia ʻoi aku ka nui e pili ana i ka hoʻolaʻa a me ka hoihoi ma mua o ka mea nāna e hana pēlā ma muli o kahi pepa a lākou i kau inoa ai ma ka hale kauhale. Eia naʻe, ʻike iki ʻia a mahalo ʻia paha kēia a ʻeha ka hapanui o ka poʻe i ka palekana inā pili ka lōʻihi me ka male ʻole i kā lākou pakanā.
Ke nānā nei i ka male
Ma waho aʻe o nā makemake pilikino a makemake paha, aia kekahi pilikia i manaʻo ʻia e lawe mai i nā hopena psychological maikaʻi ʻole i nā keiki i hānau ʻia ma waho o ka male. ʻOiai ʻaʻole ia he mea nui no nā mākua, ʻeha paha ke keiki me ka ʻole o ka hilinaʻi ʻana i ka ʻāina a me ka moʻomeheu āna i hānau ai. ʻO ke kumuhana o ka hānai ʻana i kahi keiki ma waho o ka mare ʻana e noho kapu ana ma nā wahi he nui o ka honua. ʻO ka ʻike a ka ʻohana e pili ana i ka mea e hoʻohuli nui i ka ʻike a hana a kekahi poʻe ʻē aʻe i kēia. ʻOiai ma nā mokuʻāina e hāpai nei i ke kūʻokoʻa ma kahi pae kiʻekiʻe, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i nā hihia o nā keiki a me nā ʻōpio e hoʻomāinoino ʻia no ka hānau ʻia ʻana "ma waho o ka male male".
No laila, koe ka pilikia: e maikaʻi paha no ka noho male ʻole ʻana o kekahi a me nā keiki hou?
Pono ka pane e "kānalua", akā ʻaʻole paha ia e kaukaʻi ʻia i kahi āu e noho ai.
"ʻO ka moekolohe manawaleʻa ma waena o ka mea male a me ke kanaka ʻaʻole kāna kāne" - ʻo ia ka wehewehe o ka moekolohe. Akā he aha kāu e kapa ai i ka hana o ka kumakaia i kāu hoa ke ʻaʻole ʻoe male male male? Aia kekahi mea e hana ai e pili ana iā ia mai kahi kuanaʻike kānāwai? He aha nā ana e lawe ai i kēlā hihia? ʻĀ, he mea kēia e hilinaʻi nui ʻia i ke kumumanaʻo a me ka hoʻokae ʻole inā ʻaʻole male kekahi i kāna hoa ola. Inā maikaʻi a ʻoi aku paha ka maikaʻi o ka hilinaʻi ʻana i ka pono a me ke kānāwai, pili pono ia i ka manaʻo a me nā kūlana.
Ke hoʻoholo kekahi e hoʻokaʻawale i nā ala me kā lākou wahine ma muli o ka moekolohe ma ka ʻaoʻao o kā lākou hoa wahine he mea hōʻoluʻolu nui kēia i ka ʻaoʻao ma kou ʻaoʻao. ʻO ka uku liʻiliʻi e like me kēlā, he uku nō ia. Akā i kēia mau lā ʻaʻole nānā hou ʻia nā kuʻikahi prenuptial e like me ka hana cynical a me nā aloha aloha ʻole, no laila ʻo ka moekolohe ʻaʻohe hopena hou i loaʻa iā ia - ʻoiaʻiʻo, ma ke kānāwai, ʻaʻole kamaʻilio maʻamau. No laila, i ka hopena, ʻo nā mea maikaʻi i loaʻa i kekahi i kahi kūlana e like me kēia ʻaʻole i ʻoi aku i ka nui o nā kāne male ʻole. Eia nō naʻe, ʻo ka ʻōlelo "ʻOi aku ka palekana, ma mua o ke kala ʻana." ke waiho nei ke ʻano lōkahi ma hope o ke alakaʻi ʻana o nā mea he nui i kā lākou mau pilina.
Ke hakakā nei e like me ka hoʻoholo ʻana i hoʻokahi papa o ka hana, ke kumu o ka hoʻoholo ʻana e hilinaʻi ai i ka mea āu e makemake ai a pehea ʻoe e hoʻokō ai. Ma mua o ka hoʻoholo ʻana e pili ana i kēia, kūkā me kāu hoa e pili ana i:
He aha nā kumu no ka makemake e neʻe pū a male paha?
- He aha kou mau mea e pili ana i kā mākou neʻe pū ʻana / male?
- He aha kāu mau pahuhopu i ka wā e hiki mai ana a pehea ʻoe e hoʻolālā ai i ka hoʻokō ʻana iā lākou?
- He aha kāu e hana ai inā hewa kēia a pau?
Ke hoʻokumu ʻoe i kēia e maʻalahi ka hoʻoholo ʻana inā male a i ʻole kahi pilina ola ka mea e kūpono iā ʻoe.