Anter
- E noi i ke kōkua o kahi kākāʻōlelo male kūkā
- ʻAnuʻu ʻekahi. Pono e pau ka hihia
- He kūpaʻa i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo
- He kūpaʻa i ke kamaʻilio ʻoiaʻiʻo e pili ana i ka mea i alakaʻi i ka hihia
- No ka wahine i kumakaia
- Ke kūkulu hou ʻana i ka hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho no ka wahine i kumakaia
- E ʻike i kāu makemake i ke ʻano o kāu male hou
ʻO ia ka hana moekolohe ʻole i ʻike ʻia, hoʻokahi wale nō hopena: ua pau ka male ʻana. Akā i kēia mau lā ua nānā ka poʻe loea i ka infidelity i kahi ʻano ʻokoʻa.
Ua paʻi ka mea lapaʻau kaulana, ʻo Dr Esther Perel i kahi puke wāwahi honua, Ka Mokuʻāina ʻo Kuhina Nui: Rethinking Infidelity. Aia i kēia manawa he ala hou loa e nānā ai i ka moekolohe, kahi e ʻōlelo ai hiki i nā kāne ke lawe i kēia manawa paʻakikī a hoʻohana ia mea e hoʻokau i kā lāua male i kahi pilina hou.
Inā makemake ʻoe a me kāu hoa e neʻe i mua me ka hoʻōla mai ka moe kolohe ʻole, eia kahi hoʻolālā mālama e kōkua iā ʻoe e wehe i ka mokuna ʻelua o ke aloha, ke aloha, ka hilinaʻi a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo i kāu male.
E noi i ke kōkua o kahi kākāʻōlelo male kūkā
He kōkua nui paha iā ʻoe a me kāu hoa e wehe i ka mua, i ka wā a ma hope hoʻi o ka hihia ma lalo o ke alakaʻi a ke kākāʻōlelo male.
Na kēia kanaka e kōkua i ka kōkua ʻana i nā kūkākūkā ʻehaʻeha āu e loaʻa ai i kou ʻimi ʻana i ke ʻano o kēia hihia i ka pōʻaiapili o kou ola. Inā makemake ʻole ʻoe e nīnau i kahi mea hoʻoponopono, nui nā puke i loaʻa i hiki ke lilo i mea kōkua no kāu kamaʻilio me kāu wahine.
ʻAnuʻu ʻekahi. Pono e pau ka hihia
ʻO ka mea loaʻa ka hihia e pono e hoʻopau koke i ka hihia. Pono ka philanderer e ʻokiʻoki i nā mea, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma o ke kelepona ʻana, ka leka uila a me ka ʻōlelo.
ʻAʻole ia he manaʻo maikaʻi na lākou e hele e kamaʻilio i ke kolu o ka ʻaoʻao e lākou iho, no ka nui o kā lākou hoʻāʻo a hōʻoia iā ʻoe he maikaʻi wale ia, ʻaʻole lākou makemake e hōʻeha i ka ʻaoʻao ʻekolu, a pēlā aku. ?
ʻAʻole lākou i koho i ke ala e hele ai kēia, no ka mea, ua hōʻeha lākou i ka ʻeha.
ʻO ka makaʻu a ka ʻaoʻao ʻekolu e hoʻāʻo a hoʻowalewale i ka philanderer i loko o ka pilina e kiʻekiʻe, a e nāwaliwali paha ka philanderer. E hoʻopau ʻia ka hihia me ke kelepona, ka leka uila, ka leka. ʻAʻohe kūkākūkā. Pono e ʻokiʻoki i nā pili āpau; ʻAʻole kēia kahi kūlana kahi "hiki iā mākou ke noho mau hoaaloha" ke koho kūpono.
Inā ʻike ʻoe i ka ʻaoʻao ʻekolu, ʻo ia, ʻo ia kekahi o kāu pōʻai o kāu mau hoaaloha a i ʻole nā hoa hana, pono paha ʻoe e neʻe e haʻalele iā ia mai kou ola.
He kūpaʻa i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo
Pono ka philanderer e hoʻokau i ka hoʻopono piha e pili ana i ka hihia a makemake e pane i nā nīnau a ka wahine.
Aia kahi pono no kēia transparency, ʻoiai ke holo nui nei ka manaʻo o kāu wahine a pono ʻo ia i nā kikoʻī paʻa e hoʻomaha ai i kona noʻonoʻo (ʻoiai inā e hōʻeha lākou iā ia, a lākou e makemake ai).
Pono ka philanderer e hana me kēia mau nīnau e piʻi hou ana, a i ʻole he mau makahiki i hala.
E kala mai, akā ʻo kēia ke kumukūʻai e uku ai no ka infidelity a me ka hoʻōla āu e makemake ai e hana.
E ʻae paha ka philanderer e makemake kāna wahine e komo i kāna moʻokāki leka uila, nā leka, nā leka no kekahi manawa. ʻAe, he mea liʻiliʻi a ʻōpio naʻe ia, akā inā makemake ʻoe e kūkulu hou i ka hilinaʻi, ʻo kēia kahi ʻāpana o ka papa hana lapaʻau.
He kūpaʻa i ke kamaʻilio ʻoiaʻiʻo e pili ana i ka mea i alakaʻi i ka hihia
E lilo kēia i puʻuwai o kāu kūkā kamaʻilio ʻana.
ʻO ke kumu o ka haʻalele ʻana i ka male he mea nui e ʻike i hiki iā ʻoe ke kūkulu hou i kahi male hou e kamaʻilio ana i kēia wahi nāwaliwali.
He nīnau wale no ka luhi? Ua hina ʻoe i ke aloha? Aia ka huhū ʻole i hōʻike ʻia i kāu pili? Ua hoʻowalewale ʻia ka philanderer? Inā pēlā, no ke aha i hiki ʻole ai iā ia ke hōʻole i ke kolu o ka ʻaoʻao? Ua nānā ʻole ʻoe i nā pono o ka naʻau a me ke kino o kekahi? Pehea kou ʻano pilina?
Ke kūkākūkā nei ʻoe i kāu mau kumu, e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i nā ala e hoʻomaikaʻi ai i kēia mau ʻāpana o ka discontent.
He kūlana kēia e kiʻi ʻole ai ka philanderer e kuhikuhi i ka manamana i ka wahine a i ʻole hoʻopiʻi iā lākou no ke kumu a lākou i ʻauana ai.
Hiki ke hana i ka hoʻōla inā ke kala ka philanderer no ka ʻeha a me ke kaumaha a lākou i kau aku ai i kā lākou wahine. Pono lākou e kala, hou pinepine, i kēlā me kēia manawa a ka wahine e hōʻike ai i kona ʻeha.
ʻAʻole kēia he manawa no ka philanderer e ʻōlelo ai "Ua ʻōlelo mua wau e kala aku i hoʻokahi kaukani mau manawa!". Inā lākou e ʻōlelo 1,001 mau manawa, ʻo ia ke ala i ka hoʻōla.
No ka wahine i kumakaia
Kūkākūkā i ka hihia mai kahi ʻeha, ʻaʻole kahi o ka huhū.
He kūpono kūpono ia e huhū aku i kāu wahine hele hewa. A ʻo ʻoe nō, i nā lā mua ma hope o ka loaʻa ʻana o ka hihia. Akā i ka hala ʻana o ka manawa, e kōkua a hoʻopakele aʻe kāu mau kūkā kamaʻilio ʻana inā ʻoe e hele aku iā lākou ma ke ʻano he kanaka ʻeha, ʻaʻole me he kanaka huhū lā.
ʻO kou huhū, inā hōʻike mau ʻia, e kau wale ia i kāu pakanā i ka mea pale aku a mai huki i kahi aloha mai iā ia.
Akā kou ʻeha a ʻeha e ʻae iā ia e hāʻawi i kāna aloha a me ka hōʻoluʻolu iā ʻoe, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma ke kōkua ʻana iā ʻoe e hele i kēia manawa paʻakikī i kāu male ʻana.
Ke kūkulu hou ʻana i ka hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho no ka wahine i kumakaia
Ua ʻeha a nīnau ʻoe i kou makemake.
I mea e kiʻi hou ai i kahi mokuna hou i kāu male, pono ʻoe e kūkulu hou i kou hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho i loaʻa i ka hana a kāu wahine.
E hana ai i kēia, hoʻomaʻamaʻa i ka noʻonoʻo akāka me ka naʻau o nā naʻau ikaika āu e manaʻo nei.
E manaʻoʻiʻo i ka pono o kāu male ʻana e mālama ai a he waiwai ʻoe i ke aloha e makemake ai kāu wahine e noho aliʻi pū me ʻoe. ʻIke e ola ʻoe, ʻoiai inā pono ka manawa a loaʻa nā manawa paʻakikī.
E ʻike i kāu makemake i ke ʻano o kāu male hou
ʻAʻole ʻoe makemake e noho male wale. Makemake ʻoe e loaʻa kahi male hauʻoli, waiwai, a hauʻoli hoʻi.
E kamaʻilio e pili ana i kāu mau mea nui, pehea e hiki ai ke hoʻokō i kēia mau mea, a me nā mea e pono ai e loli i mea e loaʻa ai kahi mokuna ʻelua maikaʻi i kou ola male.