Anter
- 1. ʻOi aku ia ma mua o ka “ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo” wale nō.
- 2. ʻAʻole lākou i hoʻokani
- 3. Hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa i ke kōkua kūmau
- 4. Aia kekahi e hoʻolauna i nā paio
- 5. ʻO ka mea āu e ʻōlelo ai he mea hūnā
- 6. Kūpaʻa lākou i ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i nā mea
- 'Lelo aʻoaʻo kūkā ma ka pūnaewele
ʻO kekahi kāne ʻo John Steinbeck ka inoa, i ʻōlelo ʻo ia “Maopopo iā ʻoe pehea ka ʻōlelo aʻo. Makemake wale ʻoe inā kūlike ia me ka mea āu e makemake ai e hana. ” Aia kekahi mea hoʻomākeʻaka i kēlā ʻōlelo, akā ʻike ʻoe i ke aha? Aia pū kekahi ʻoiaʻiʻo i loko o ia pū.
A ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ia kekahi o nā kumu e kānalua ai kekahi mau kāne male e pili ana i ka loaʻa ʻana o ka ʻōlelo aʻo aʻoaʻo a me ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a ka pilina mai kahi loea aʻoaʻo a mea hoʻoponopono paha.
No laila, i ka manawa hea ʻoe e ʻike ai i kahi kākāʻōlelo male?
Inā hāʻule kou pilina a ke hoʻāʻo nei ʻoe e ʻike pehea e hoʻoponopono ai i nā pilikia pili, a laila loaʻa iā ʻoe nā kumu āpau e hele ai i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male.
Eia nō naʻe, no ka mea ʻaʻole i loaʻa i nā kāne i ka ʻōlelo aʻoi loa mai nā ʻohana a me nā hoa aloha a makaʻu paha lākou e loaʻa hou ana i nā mea like ma ke kau aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo male.
A i ʻole no ka manaʻo o kekahi a ʻelua paha e like me ka hewa loa o kā lāua hoa wahine ʻoiai ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi a ʻaʻole makemake lākou e hoʻolohe i kahi kākāʻōlelo e haʻi ʻokoʻa ana iā lākou.
Eia naʻe ka ʻoiaʻiʻo he nui nā ʻano mea maikaʻi āpau i hiki ke loaʻa mai ka loaʻa ʻana o ka ʻōlelo aʻo aʻoaʻo male.
Nui nā mea maikaʻi āu i noʻonoʻo ʻole ai ma mua o ka heluhelu ʻana i kēia ʻatikala; nā mea e lana ka manaʻo e hoʻololi i kou manaʻo e pili ana i ke kaʻina aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo male a pehea e hopena ai iā ʻoe, kāu kāne a me kāu male.
1. ʻOi aku ia ma mua o ka “ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo” wale nō.
ʻO ka mea mua e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ka hele ʻana e ʻike i kahi kākāʻōlelo male a mea hoʻoponopono paha ʻo ia ke kiʻi ʻana i nā mea hou aʻe ma mua o ka ʻōlelo aʻo a haʻi.
Loaʻa i nā kākā'ōlelo loea i nā palapala hōʻoia i loaʻa iā lākou kahi laikini e hoʻomaʻamaʻa ai i kā lākou kahua. Mai nā puke a i nā hoʻāʻo i nā hoʻolālā, aia nā ʻano mea āpau a nā kākāʻōlelo male e mākaukau ai i hiki ke kōkua i mea e hoʻomaikaʻi ai kāu male.
2. ʻAʻole lākou i hoʻokani
Ua lohe paha ʻoe i kekahi e ʻōlelo ana ʻaʻole ʻoe e kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā pilikia i loko o kāu male ʻana i nā lālā o kou ʻohana no ka mea e hoʻomanaʻo lākou iā lākou ma hope o kou kala ʻana a hoʻopoina ʻia hoʻi.
ʻO ke kumu no ka mea pili lākou iā ʻoe. Akā hele mai kahi kākāʻōlelo male i kāu kūlana male me ke kaulike ʻole. ʻAʻole lākou e aʻa no kekahi kanaka ma mua o ka mea ʻē aʻe. ʻO kā lākou pahuhopu nui e hōʻoia i kēlā ʻaoʻao ʻelua ʻoluʻolu. Pane kēlā i ka nīnau, "he mea maikaʻi ke aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo?"
Akā ma mua o ke luʻu ʻana i nā kumu e hele ai i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male, e hoʻomaopopo mua mākou i ka manawa o ka ʻōlelo aʻo male.
- Ke hoʻopaʻapaʻa ʻole
- Ke mālama ʻia ke aloha a me ka moekolohe ma ke ʻano he hoʻopaʻi
- Ke noʻonoʻo ka manaʻo o ka hoʻopunipuni i kou manaʻo
- Ke loaʻa ʻole kahi hoʻokūkū kālā
- Ke alakaʻi ʻoe i kou ola ʻokoʻa, like hou me nā hoa noho, ma lalo o nā kāne
- Ke mālama ʻolua i nā mea huna
3. Hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa i ke kōkua kūmau
ʻOiai inā he hoa pili kāu e makemake ai e kamaʻilio pū, ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ko lākou ola ponoʻī a me ka papa manawa. Kuhi kēia ʻaʻole hiki ke loaʻa mau lākou. Akā me ke kākāʻōlelo male, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻonohonoho i kāu manawa i koho ai. A ke uku nei ʻoe no lākou, hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻoiaʻiʻo e lawe nui kāu mea aʻoaʻo i kou manawa a me kāu hoʻopukapuka kālā.
4. Aia kekahi e hoʻolauna i nā paio
No ke aha e hele ai i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male?
I kekahi manawa hele ka poʻe i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male no ka mea ʻaʻole lākou ʻike pehea e hoʻonā ai i nā paio ma kekahi ʻano ʻē aʻe.
A no laila, i ke alo o kahi loea i hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻia, ma lalo o ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pilina maikaʻi loa, hiki i nā kāne ʻelua ke hōʻike i kā lākou mau pono a me nā hopohopo me ka ʻole o ka mea ʻē aʻe e hōʻoki iā lākou a hoʻohaʻahaʻa paha i ko lākou mau manaʻo.
Ke hiki i nā hoa ʻelua ke hoʻolohe maoli i kekahi i kekahi, ʻo ia wale nō ka mea hiki ke hana kupaianaha no kā lāua pili.
E nānā i ka wahine mua o ʻAmelike Hui Pū ʻIa ʻo Michelle Obama e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kāna mea i aʻo ai mai kāna mau ʻōlelo aʻo aʻoaʻo male.
5. ʻO ka mea āu e ʻōlelo ai he mea hūnā
Ma waena o nā kumu āpau i kaʻana ʻia ai, ʻo kekahi paha o nā kumu maikaʻi loa e kiʻi ai i ka ʻōlelo aʻo aʻoaʻo no ka male ʻana ma muli o ka paʻa paʻa ʻana o ka ʻike i ka ʻike.
ʻO kēia ke kumu o nā mea āu e kaʻana like ai i kāu mau kau (pōkole o ka hoʻoweliweli i kou ola iho a i ʻole ke ola o kekahi mea ʻē aʻe), pono lākou e mālama iā lākou iho.
ʻAʻole mau ia a i ʻole hōʻoiaʻiʻo ʻia inā hoʻoholo ʻoe e kaʻana like i kāu pilikia pili male me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.
6. Kūpaʻa lākou i ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i nā mea
Ke loaʻa ʻoe i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻo ka manawa pinepine ʻo ia wale nō. Kaʻana lākou me lākou i kā lākou manaʻo a neʻe lākou i kahi mea ʻē aʻe; inā maikaʻi a maikaʻi ʻole paha kāu kūlana.
Akā me ke kākāʻōlelo male, ʻoiai ʻoe e kūpaʻa piha i ke kaʻina o ka ʻōlelo aʻo male no nā kāne a me ke ʻimi ʻana i kahi ala e hoʻomaikaʻi ai kāu male, pēlā nō lākou. Inā pili kēlā i ka hana pū ʻana no ʻekolu mau mahina a i ʻole ʻekolu mau makahiki, ua mākaukau lākou e kū i waho.
Loaʻa i kahi kākāʻōlelo male ka mea e aʻoaʻo i kāu ʻoihana pili. A ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, pono kēlā me kēia male i kēlā ʻano hōʻoia a me ke kākoʻo.
'Lelo aʻoaʻo kūkā ma ka pūnaewele
No kēlā mau mea i loko o kahi pilikia e pili ana inā pono a ʻaʻole paha mākou e pono i ka ʻōlelo aʻo male, hiki i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pili pūnaewele ka pane.
Hāʻawi ʻia ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male male e nā loea i hōʻoia ʻia e like me LMFTs a me MFT i ka U.S. i hōʻoia ʻia e ka ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa no ka Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) a i ʻole nā psychologists i lilo i laikini ma o ka Board of Psychology (BOP) no kā lākou mokuʻāina.
Ma o ka lawe ʻana i nā ʻōlelo aʻo ʻelua a nā kāne ma ka pūnaewele, hiki i nā kāne ke lanakila i nā pilikia pili i ke ala maʻalahi, pilikino a maʻalahi hoʻi.
Aia kekahi mau hālāwai hoʻōla, nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pili pilina a me nā ʻōlelo aʻo a me nā koho maʻa mau me ka loea aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo loea, nā mea āpau ma ke kaomi o ka pihi.
No laila, ke noi nei i ka nīnau, i ka manawa hea e ʻimi ai i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male ma ka pūnaewele?
- Ke hoʻāʻo ʻoe i nā mea āpau āpau i kou hiki a ke ʻimi nei i nā ala kūpono e hoʻihoʻi i ka hilinaʻi a me ke aloha i kāu pilina.
- Ke kūʻē i ka ʻaoʻao a me ke alo o ka ʻolelo aʻoaʻo male, makemake ʻoe makemake e loaʻa ia ma kou home a alakaʻi ʻia paha ma o ke kūkā wikiō ʻana, ka leka ʻana, a me ka leka uila pū me nā kamaʻilio kelepona ʻana.
- Ke makemake ʻoe e kāhea iā ia e hoʻopau a hoʻopau i ka pilina ma ke ʻano he aloha, akā ke nānā nei i nā ala o ka male makua a i ʻole me nā mākua pili.
No laila, he mea kūpono ke aʻo ʻana i nā kāne? Kōkua ka ʻōlelo aʻo a nā kāne? ʻO ka pane i nā nīnau ʻelua he definite a he resounding ʻae.