Anter
ʻAʻole anei ka hilinaʻi i ka pilina i mea pono nui no ka male hauʻoli a olakino? ʻLelo nā poʻe loea i kēlā ʻO ka hilinaʻi ka mea lemu e paʻa pū ai i kāu male no nā makahiki.
ʻO ka hilinaʻi iā ʻoe i kāu hoa a me ka hilinaʻi a kāu hoa iā ʻoe kahi ʻano o ka ʻupena palekana. E kōkua kēia ʻupena iā ʻoe kaʻana like i kou mau manaʻo hohonu, nā hakakā, nā makaʻu, nā hōʻole a me nā makemake me ka makaʻu ʻole i ka hoʻopaʻi a hoʻokolokolo paha.
Ke hilinaʻi ʻoe i kāu hoa, ʻo ia hoʻi hilinaʻi ʻoe iā lākou no nā mea āpau. No laila, i nā manawa maikaʻi a maikaʻi ʻole paha, ʻaʻohe mea e hiki mai i kou ala. Me ka hilinaʻi i kāu male ʻana, ʻike ʻoe i ka palekana a me ka palekana e pili ana i kāu hoa.
Ke hilinaʻi ʻole ʻoe i kāu hoa, ʻaʻole hiki ke pili. Ma muli o kēia hopena, luhi ka kamaʻilio ʻana a laila ʻoi aku ma mua o nā ipo, hoʻomaka wale ʻoe e hana a noho paha e like me nā hoa noho.
I nā manawa he nui, ke lilo ka hilinaʻi i ka male, e hoʻopiʻi mau kekahi hoa i kekahi hoa ʻē aʻe no kēlā me kēia pilikia iki a pilikia paha. E nui ka uwa ʻana, ka hakakā ʻana a me ke kuhikuhi ʻana i nā manamana lima.
ʻAʻole kōkua kēia taktika iā ʻoe e hoʻopakele i kāu male, akā e hoʻomāhuahua wale ia i nā mea. No laila, he aha ka mea e pono ai ke hana ʻia mai kou hopena, inā manaʻo ʻoe ua lilo ka hilinaʻi mai kāu male ʻana a ke hōʻeha nei ʻoe iā ʻoe, palekana ʻole a hoʻohoka hoʻi i nā manawa āpau.
ʻO kā mākou manaʻo mua ma kahi o ka loaʻa ʻana o nā hala i kāu hoa, e nānā i kāu ʻano a me kāu hana ponoʻī. Maʻalahi ke hoʻolilo i ka hewa a kuhikuhi i nā manamana lima akā ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī e nānā iā ʻoe iho a hana iā ʻoe iho.
Hoʻomaopopo ka ʻike ʻana i nā ala e loaʻa ai ka hilinaʻi o kāu wahine a i ʻole nā ala e kūkulu ai i ka hilinaʻi a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo i kāu pili ma o ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i nā lula no ka pilina paʻa loa.
No laila eia kahi nīnau e pono ai ʻoe e nīnau iā ʻoe iho e ʻike he wahine pono ʻoe. A laila, e lawe iki i kēia hoʻāʻo, a noʻonoʻo, inā e nīnau ʻia kaʻu hoa i nā nīnau like e pili ana iaʻu, e like paha nā pane?
E hoʻomaka kākou!
Hilinaʻi ʻoe?
I nā manawa he nui, ke hiki mākou i ka manawa o ka ʻike o kekahi i kekahi, hoʻohiki mākou. Mālama mākou i kekahi, ʻaʻole mākou he nui! ʻO ia ke kumu kumu o nā pilikia āpau i kāu pilina.
ʻOiaʻiʻo, ke hoʻohiki ʻoe i kekahi mea i kāu hoa, ʻo ʻoe manaʻo maikaʻi a makemake e kōkua i kāu hoa akā inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e hāhai ma waena o ia mea, e hoʻohoka paha kāu wahine.
Kūpono mau ke kanaka hilinaʻi, ʻaʻohe mea. Hōʻino ke kūlana ke loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi papa hana paʻapū.
Ke hiki mai kēia, e hāʻule koke ʻoe i ka pōpō ma mua o ka maʻamau a ke hana nui ʻia kēia no ka mea me kāu papa kuhikuhi ma kahi, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hāʻawi i kāu mau hoʻohiki.
No laila, he aha e hana ai? Aia kekahi mau kuleana a me nā hana e aʻo ai ʻoe e ʻōlelo ʻAʻole!
E hoʻokuʻu kēia iā ʻoe a hāʻawi iā ʻoe i ka manawa e alualu ai i kāu papa kuhikuhi a laila ke koena manawa āu i loaʻa, pono ʻoe e e hoʻi i kāu wahine a hōʻike iā lākou ʻo lākou ka mua.
No laila, i mea e hōʻoia ai i kou hilinaʻi, e ʻōlelo mau i kāu manaʻo a manaʻo i kāu mea e ʻōlelo ai. E mālama i kāu mau hoʻohiki a mai hoʻohiki i nā ʻōlelo hoʻohiki ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke mālama.
ʻAe ʻoe i kou kuhi hewa?
ʻO ka wahine hilinaʻi kekahi mea mau i kā lākou mau hewa. E kala mai ʻo ia me ka ʻōlelo ʻole ʻia mai e hana pēlā.
He poʻe hewa ʻole mākou āpau a e alo wale i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, hana hewa mākou āpau i kekahi manawa. No laila, i mea e hoʻoponopono ai a hoʻomaikaʻi i nā mea no ka ʻoi aku, pono ʻoe e nānā i nā ala e loaʻa ai ka launa a me ka maluhia me kāu hoa.
ʻO Ego, insecurities, haʻaheo, a me ka ʻike ʻole i ka hana ʻana i nā mea ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi i loko o kāu ala e ʻae ai i kāu mau hewa. No laila, ponoʻī a i kekahi manawa ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hōʻoluʻolu mua inā ʻike ʻoe hiki ke ʻakaʻaka i ka maka o kāu hoa.
ʻAno ʻōhumu ʻoe?
ʻO kekahi o nā mea ʻehaʻeha loa i ka pilina a i ʻole ka male ʻana i ka wā e kīkē ai kekahi hoa i kā lākou mea huna o ka lumi moe a i ʻole nā kikoʻī e pili ana i kā lākou male ʻana i ko lākou ʻohana a mau hoaaloha paha.
Oh eha ia! ʻOiaʻiʻo, he mau hoa pili a pili ʻohana maoli nō kāu, akā ʻaʻohe ou kuleana i ka waha maikaʻi ʻole a i ʻole kamaʻilio wahaheʻe e pili ana i kāu ipo a i kāu male paha.
He hewa hewa loa kēia a ʻo ia ʻo ia paha ke ala wikiwiki e hōʻoki i ka hilinaʻi i kēlā me kēia male.
Inā pilikia ʻoe i kāu male ʻana a pono ʻoe i kahi e puka ai i waho. pono ʻoe e noʻonoʻo e ʻimi i ke kōkua mai kahi kahunapule, kākāʻōlelo a i ʻole hoa aloha.
Eia nō naʻe, ʻo ka mea āu e koho ai no kāu kōkua, pono e kākoʻo i kou male male ʻana ʻaʻole wale iā ʻoe a i kāu mau manaʻo paha. Pono kēia kanaka i mea pahuhopu a pono mau ʻoe e kākoʻo iā ʻoe e hana i kāu male.
ʻIke mākou āpau aia he ʻokoʻa nui ma waena o ka hoʻowahāwahā a me ka ʻimi ʻana i ka ʻōlelo aʻo. Komo pinepine ka ʻōlelo hoʻomākeʻaka i ka 'pepehi kanaka' a hiki i kēia ke hōʻeha maoli i ka pilina.
Hōʻike ʻoe i ke aloha?
Pani i kou mau maka no kahi manawa a noʻonoʻo i kahi mea āu e hilinaʻi nui ai? Ua hana? I kēia manawa, ua ʻike paha ʻoe i kekahi, i hōʻike i ke aloha a me ke aloha iā ʻoe, i kou mau lā ʻeleʻele loa.
ʻO kēlā kanaka e noho mau e noʻonoʻo i ka mea ʻoi loa no ʻoe me ka ʻole e hoʻokolokolo a kuhi paha. Hiki ke ʻike ʻia ke aloha a ʻike ʻia hoʻi i nā pae hohonu.
ʻIke ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo mau kēia kanaka i kāu kuanaʻike. ʻIke lākou iā ʻoe, hoʻolohe lākou iā ʻoe a mālama lākou iā ʻoe, ma ke ʻano ponoʻī ʻole e hiki ai.
ʻO kēia wale nō, eia nā nīnau a inā kāu pane i kēia mau nīnau āpau ʻae, kudos iā ʻoe! ʻO ʻoe nō ia, ke kanaka i hiki i kekahi ke hilinaʻi.
Eia nō naʻe, inā ʻaʻole kahi pane i hoʻokahi a ʻoi paha o nā nīnau, pono ʻoe e hana koke i nā hana e hana ai i kāu male. Mai kali, a lohi.