Anter
- 1. Hakaka ʻoe i nā manawa āpau
- 2. Kūʻē lākou
- 3. He hoa aloha maikaʻi ʻole lākou
- 4. Maʻa wale lākou
- 5. Manaʻo ʻoe i ka hakahaka i kā lākou hui
- 6. Loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi manaʻo ʻōpū
- 7. He ʻano maikaʻi ʻole ko lākou
- 8. Ke hana mau nei ʻoe i nā kumu no lākou
He maikaʻi paha kāu e pili ana i kāu pilina a ʻike paha ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e kala ana no ka hana a kāu hoa i nā manawa hou aʻe ma mua o kou makemake e ʻae?
Hāleʻa ʻoe i kāu mau hoaaloha e pili ana i ka maikaʻi o ka mālama ʻana o kāu wahine iā ʻoe a i ʻole loaʻa iā ʻoe i ka ʻōlelo aʻo mai iā lākou e pili ana i ke kumu o ka hana ʻilihune ʻana iā ʻoe?
He ʻae like ʻole kēlā me kēia pālua a i ʻole ʻōlelo paha i kekahi mea ʻeha i kēlā me kēia manawa i kekahi manawa, akā ʻaʻole ia ka makamua o kāu pili. Pono kāu wahine e hōʻoluʻolu iā ʻoe iho e pili ana iā ʻoe iho. Pono lākou e kākoʻo a mahalo iā ʻoe.
E leʻaleʻa pū ʻoe. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, pono ʻoe e noʻonoʻo ma luna o ka honua ke pili pū ʻoe me lākou.
Inā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo ʻaʻole hiki i kāu pilina ke kani mamao loa mai ka paukū i luna, a laila hiki paha ʻoe i ke aloha me kahi kanaka ʻino.
Eia nā hōʻailona haʻi haʻi 8 e ulu nei i ka waiʻona i kāu pilina a me ka mea āu e hana ai e pili ana i ia.
1. Hakaka ʻoe i nā manawa āpau
Loaʻa nā piʻi a me nā lalo o kēlā me kēia pilina.
ʻO kēlā me kēia pālua he hakakā kekahi i kekahi manawa a hele i waena o nā hakakā kahi a lākou e launa maikaʻi ʻole ai. He maʻamau kēia. Aia kekahi mau manawa ke wāwahi nā kāne olakino i ka hilinaʻi o kekahi me kekahi a hana pū i ke kūkulu ʻana i kā lāua pilina i hope.
Akā he mau hanana kakaikahi kēia, ʻaʻole nā hanana o kēlā me kēia lā.
ʻIke paha ʻoe e like me ʻoe ma ke kaʻa wili weliweli ma mua o ka launa pū ʻana me kāu hoa aloha? ʻIke paha ʻoe i ka paʻa i loko o kahi pilina i piha i ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa mau ʻana a i ʻole ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana o kāu wahine iā ʻoe ma mua o ka makemake āu e ʻae ai?
Inā pēlā, ke aloha nei ʻoe i kahi kanaka ʻino.
2. Kūʻē lākou
ʻO kahi pilina olakino e pili ana i ka hāʻawi ʻana.
Hāʻawi ʻoe i kou manawa, ikehu, a me kou puʻuwai i kekahi ʻē aʻe. ʻO kā lākou hopohopo kāu hopohopo.Loaʻa iā ʻoe kā lākou makemake maikaʻi loa i ka puʻuwai, i nā manawa āpau. ʻO kēia nā ʻano o ke kāne ʻelua i ke aloha.
Ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, manaʻo wale kekahi mea aloha iā ia iho no ka mea ʻoi loa no lākou iho. Hiki paha iā ʻoe ke launa me ke kanaka ʻino a me ke aloha ʻole inā lākou:
- ʻAʻole makemake ʻoe e launa pū me kāu mau hoaaloha
- E hōʻole e ʻike i kou ʻohana, ʻoiai i nā manawa kūikawā
- E hoʻokau mau i kā lākou mau pono ma mua o kāu
- ʻAʻole hiki ke ʻae inā hewa lākou
- Hoʻomaopopo pinepine ʻoe iā ʻoe e like me ke ʻano ʻole o kou mau manaʻo a ʻehaʻeha paha nā manaʻo.
3. He hoa aloha maikaʻi ʻole lākou
He mea maʻamau ka waiho ʻana i ke kamaʻilio me kāu hoa i kēlā me kēia manawa i kekahi manawa, akā inā ʻike ʻoe i kāu wahine e ʻōpala mau nei i ke kamaʻilio ʻana i kā lākou mau hoa aloha a me nā lālā o ka ʻohana, e lawe i kēia me kahi hae ʻulaʻula nunui.
Ehia mau manawa e pāhola aku ai kāu wahine i nā kamaʻilio hoʻomāinoino? ʻIke paha lākou i nā hāʻule a me nā pōʻino o kā lākou mau hoaaloha? Kau lākou i ka nui o ke pili i ka helehelena a i ʻole hele i waho i kā lākou ala i badmouth somebody?
ʻO ke kamaʻilio maikaʻi ʻole ʻana e pili ana i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe he hōʻailona ia o nā insecurities pilikino. ʻOiai, ke kau nei i lalo i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe kahi hōʻailona paʻa ia e aloha nei ʻoe i kahi jerk.
4. Maʻa wale lākou
ʻAʻohe o ke aloha nui o nā poʻe no haʻi.
ʻAʻole hiki iā lākou ke hoʻohui me lākou ma kahi pae naʻau a hoʻomaopopo i nā mea mai nā manaʻo o haʻi.
Ma mua o kēlā, ʻaʻole makemake lākou e hoʻonui i ko lākou manaʻo. Pili paʻa lākou i kā lākou mau manaʻo ponoʻī me ka nānā ʻole ʻole ʻia no haʻi.
ʻAʻole hewa nui paha ka wahine male ma luna o nā hana hewa. Kūpono ʻole paha lākou a noʻonoʻo ʻole i ka wahaheʻe iā ʻoe.
Hiki iā lākou ke hoʻohana iā ʻoe no ka moekolohe, kālā, a i ʻole nā manawa kūpono.
5. Manaʻo ʻoe i ka hakahaka i kā lākou hui
Inā ʻoe e haʻohaʻo inā he kāne aloha paha kāu e pili ana, e noʻonoʻo i kēia. Pono ʻoe e ʻike i kahi pilina olakino:
- Mahalo ʻia
- Hauʻoli
- Kākoʻo ʻia
- Aloha
- Hōʻoluʻolu
- Pīhoihoi
- ʻOluʻolu
- A he mea leʻaleʻa ia
Ma ka lima ʻē aʻe, kahi pilina pili olakino e ʻike ai ʻoe:
- Hakahaka
- Pākuʻi ʻole
- Makehewa
- Kūlike ʻole i ka launa
- A kūpenu iho i ka manaʻo pilikino
- ʻO ke kaulike ʻole o ke aloha
Eia kekahi, hōʻike nā noiʻi e hiki i ka hōʻino ʻia i ka pilina ke alakaʻi i nā helu kiʻekiʻe o ke kaumaha a me ka hana suicidal.
Inā manaʻo ʻoe he hakahā a hakahaka ke kokoke ʻoe i kāu wahine, e lawe ia i hōʻailona no ka loaʻa ʻole o kāu mea e pono ai mai kāu pilina. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, loaʻa paha iā ʻoe ka ʻaoʻao kūlike i ka mea āu e makemake ai.
6. Loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi manaʻo ʻōpū
Mau, mau, mau paulele i kou instincts. Inā haʻi kou ʻōpū iā ʻoe ʻaʻole pono kekahi mea o kāu pilina, a laila ʻaʻole paha ia.
Ke hui pū nei ʻoe me kahi kanaka manaʻo ʻole, hiki iā ia ke haʻalele iā ʻoe me ka huhū ʻole a paʻa ʻole paha i kou ola.
E ʻike ʻoe i ka bipolar, me kou mau naʻau e hele ana mai nā kiʻekiʻe a i nā kaumaha haʻahaʻa i ka pale o kahi kuapo.
Inā ʻoe e nīnau mau nei i kou pili, e haʻohaʻo ana inā ʻoe e noho, a i ʻole he pilau paha ka manaʻo e manaʻo ʻole ʻia kou pilina - e hāhai i kou ihu.
7. He ʻano maikaʻi ʻole ko lākou
ʻO ke kamaʻilio ke kī i nā pilina paʻa, hauʻoli. ʻO ia pehea e hoʻonā ai ka pilikia o ka wahine, e ʻike kekahi i kekahi ma kahi pae hohonu a ulu i kahi aloha aloha.
ʻO kahi hōʻailona ke aloha nei ʻoe i kahi kanaka ʻino inā hōʻole kāu hoa e kamaʻilio pū me ʻoe.
E paʻakikī paha lākou a huhū paha inā e hoʻāʻo ʻoe a kamaʻilio pū me lākou e pili ana i kahi mea a lākou i hana ai i hōʻeha a hōʻeha paha iā ʻoe.
ʻAʻole e kala aku kahi kanaka manaʻo ʻole, ʻaʻohe hoihoi i ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i kāu kuanaʻike, a ʻoi aku paha ka hoʻohana ʻana i kahi paio ma ke ʻano he kumu e hoʻowahāwahā ai iā ʻoe ma mua o ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i ka pilikia ma kou lima.
8. Ke hana mau nei ʻoe i nā kumu no lākou
ʻIke paha ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ka hoʻopuka ʻana i nā huaʻōlelo e like me "ʻAʻole ia i manaʻo ia, ʻaʻole maikaʻi ʻo ia i kēia pō" a i ʻole "Ke paʻakikī nei ʻo ia me kona ʻohana, ʻaʻole ia i manaʻo e lawe iaʻu" ke kamaʻilio e pili ana kou wahine?
Inā ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e hana mau i nā kala no kā lākou hana maikaʻi ʻole, hiki paha i ka manawa e ʻae ai ʻaʻole ʻoe e launa me kahi kanaka maikaʻi.
ʻO nā pilina i manaʻo ʻia he leʻaleʻa. E kūkulu lākou iā ʻoe i luna, ʻaʻole e wāwahi iā ʻoe i lalo. Inā ʻoe e pilina me kahi kanaka ʻino, ʻo ka manawa kēia e kū i luna nou.
Inā ua lilo kāu pilina i mea ʻawahia a maopopo ʻole ʻoe pehea e haʻalele ai iā ia, e kāhea i ka National Domestic Violence Hotline ma 1−800−799−7233 a i ʻole leka uila iā lākou ma 1−800−787−3224.