Anter
E noʻonoʻo i kāu kāne punahele. ʻIke ʻoe, ʻo ka poʻe ʻelua āu e kuhikuhi ai ma ke ʻano he "it" i kou ola.
ʻO kou mau mākua paha ia, ʻo ʻoe a me kāu wahine, a i ʻole he mau moʻolelo kākaʻina mai kāu kiʻi ʻoniʻoni punahele. He aha ka mea e kū ai lākou i waho? ʻO kā lākou banter paha ia? Pili lākou? ʻO ko lākou aloha kekahi i kekahi?
I kekahi manawa paʻakikī e kuhikuhi i ka mea pololei e hoʻolilo i kēia mau kāne i "mea" i loko o ko mākou mau noʻonoʻo, akā ʻike mākou aia kekahi mea kūikawā e pili ana iā lākou.
ʻO kahi mea kūikawā paha pili pili ʻuhane. ʻO ka maʻalahi, ʻo ka pilina pili i ka naʻau ke pili i ka pili o ka paʻa o ka wahine ma o kā lākou naʻau. Ke nānā ʻoe iā lākou e kamaʻilio ana he mea ʻole ia. Ke nānā ʻoe iā lākou e launa, me he mea lā ʻaʻohe mea e nānā iā lākou. Ua like lākou me nā mākēneki i huki ʻia i kekahi i kekahi, a ʻo ka ikaika e huki kokoke nei iā lākou ka pili pili i ka naʻau.
ʻOi aku ka pilina o ka naʻau, ʻoi aku ka hoʻokō o ka pilina a me ka male. Me kēlā ʻōlelo, loaʻa paha iā ʻoe ka pilikia e kuhikuhi i nā hiʻohiʻona o kahi kāne pili aloha. ʻIke ʻoe ʻo ia ka mea āu e makemake ai, akā ʻaʻole maopopo pehea e hana ai ia i kou ola a me kou pilina.
E hoʻolaʻa ʻia ke koena o kēia ʻatikala i ka ʻike ʻana i kēlā mau laʻana hiʻohiʻona o nā kāne pili aloha. E luʻu mākou i ke ʻano o ke ʻano a laila pehea e hana ai iā ʻoe iho.
1. Wehe
Hāmama a palupalu kekahi i kekahi i kekahi. ʻAʻohe mea pale i koi lākou i kā lākou hoa e breakthrough; hāʻawi lākou i ko lākou puʻuwai a me ko lākou ʻuhane i kekahi i kekahi me ka kānalua ʻole. Lawe paha kēia i ka manawa e hoʻokumu ai, no ka mea kokoke i nā mea āpau e komo i kahi pilina me nā kiaʻi no nā ʻike i hala. Akā, i ka hala ʻana o ka manawa, iho mai kēlā kiaʻi a me kahi kanaka i loko o kahi pilina pili i ka naʻau e ʻae i kā lākou hoa i kahi āpau āpau i kā lākou maoli.
E hana i kahi lewa maʻalahi a hāmama i kāu pilina ponoʻī, pono ʻoe e alakaʻi i kahi laʻana. I mea e wehe pono ai kāu pakanā i ko lākou naʻau iā ʻoe, pono ʻoe e hāʻawi i kahi ʻāpana nui ou pū kekahi. E hōʻike iā lākou makemake ʻoe e hoʻokau iā ʻoe iho i laila, ʻoiai inā ʻeha ʻia. ʻAʻole ʻoe e ʻike i ka pilina hohonu loa me ka ʻole e hoʻoweliweli i kou puʻuwai a me kou ʻuhane. Ma ka mālama ʻana i kāu kiaʻi, pale paha ʻoe iā ʻoe iho, akā ʻaʻole ʻoe e hoʻokuʻu i kāu kāne a i ʻole pakanā i kou honua. Hoʻokomo nā kāne pili aloha i kēlā pale i lalo a ʻae i kā lākou hoa e ʻike iā lākou i kā lākou ʻano maka.
2. ʻO kaʻoiaʻiʻo a me ke aloha
Hiki i ka hāmama ke hele mai ma o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo wale nō ma waena o ka pilina. ʻO ka "it" pālua āu i manaʻo ai i ka hoʻomaka o kēia ʻatikala ua aʻo ʻia i ka hala ʻana o ka manawa. Ke kamaʻilio lākou i kekahi i kekahi, hana lākou pēlā me ka puʻuwai aloha, akā me kahi alelo hoʻopono. Maliʻa paha aia kekahi mau ʻoiaʻiʻo koʻikoʻi e pono e haʻi ʻia, akā hiki iā lākou ke ʻōlelo ʻia ma ke ʻano ʻaʻole e haki i ka mea ʻē aʻe. ʻO ke ala wale nō e ulu kokoke ai, a hoʻoulu maoli i ka pilina o ka naʻau, ma ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻana me kekahi.
No ka hoʻokumu ʻana i kahi kūkā kamaʻilio pono me ke aloha me kāu hoa, pono ʻoe e alakaʻi i mua. Inā manaʻo ʻoe e kāohi ana ʻoe a me kāu hoa i nā mea mai kekahi i kekahi — ʻoiai inā e pale kekahi i kekahi i kekahi manawa mai nā manaʻo ʻeha — e haʻi iā lākou ua ʻike ʻoe. E hōʻike iā lākou i kou aloha me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo i kāu nānā ʻana. Ke hele nei i loko o ka lumi me ka hoʻonāukiuki a me ka huhū ʻaʻole loa e ʻae e ulu pono ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. E hele mai kahi wahi o ke aloha a me ke aloha a ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e hoʻokokoke loa me kēlā me kēia kamaʻilio.
3. Hoʻopā kino
ʻOiai ʻo ka ʻāpana o ka pilina ke ʻano ponoʻī o ka pilina, he mea nui e hōʻike i ka nui o ka paʻi i ka lawe ʻana o ka naʻau. Hiki i kahi paʻi maʻalahi ke ʻōlelo i ka nui āpau a kamaʻilio i ka nui o ka naʻau. Inā he wahine ʻoe, hiki paha iā ʻoe manaʻo nā huaʻōlelo "aloha au iā ʻoe" ke pāʻani kāu kāne me kou lauoho. Inā he kāne ʻoe, hiki paha iā ʻoe manaʻo kēlā mau ʻōlelo like ke lawe ka manawa a kāu wahine e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i kahi rub rubed. ʻAʻole wale ke kamaʻilio ʻana e hele ma waena o kou lehelehe; hoʻohana nā kāne pili i ka naʻau i ko lākou kino e hōʻike i kā lākou hoa i ko lākou manaʻo e pili ana iā lākou.
E lawe i ka pili kino pilikino i loko o kāu pilina, e hoʻomaka i ka makemake nui e pili ana i kāu hoʻohana ʻana iā ia i loko o kāu pilina. Mai noʻonoʻo i kou hoʻopā kino ʻana e noho wale ai i ka lumi moe. Hāʻawi i nā ʻapo hou aʻe, paʻa i ka lima o kēlā me kēia, a i ʻole tickle i kāu wahine inā hōʻike mai ka manawa kūpono iā ia iho. Aia ka nui o ka naʻau i hiki ke hoʻopaʻa ʻia i kahi lima kūpono. Mai hoʻokuʻu i kēlā manawa kūpono e hoʻokokoke aku ai i ka ʻōpala.
4. kala kala
ʻO nā kāne e hana i ka lōʻihi loa a aloha i ka hohonu ʻo ia ka mea hiki ke kala, a hana maoli. ʻO ka male ʻana i kekahi mea paʻa a paʻa loa ka poʻe e hana hewa. Ma ke ʻano he kanaka, ʻaʻole pono ʻole kākou. Hele wale mai ia me ka ʻāina. I mea e mālama ai kekahi i kā lāua pilina pili i ka naʻau, ma laila pono e kala ʻia i ka pāʻani. Inā ʻaʻole lākou e kala aku kekahi i kekahi, a laila e hana ka mamao a me ka inaina ma waena o lākou.
E like me ka hapa nui o kēia mau ʻano a me nā laʻana o ka pili aloha naʻau, pono e hoʻohālikelike i ke kala ʻana ma mua o ka lele ʻana o kāu hoa. E kala iā lākou no kahi mea āu e mālama nei i ka ukiuki. E hoʻokuʻu i kēlā huhū i kou poʻohiwi a wehe iā ʻoe iho i kāu hoa e like me ʻoe ma mua. Hōʻike iā lākou ua kala ʻia lākou, a i ka manaʻo e hāpai i ka kaumaha i luna o ko lākou poʻohiwi, e kala paha lākou iā ʻoe.
E lawe i kēia mau hiʻohiʻona me ʻoe i kou hoʻokele ʻana i ke ala lōʻihi o ka male. Makemake mākou āpau e lilo i mau "it" i ʻike ai ma ke kīwī a i ʻole ua ʻike i loko o kā mākou pōʻai o ka ʻohana a me nā hoa aloha. I mea e loaʻa ai kēlā pilina moemoeā, pono ʻoe e hakakā no ka pili aloha. ʻO kou pili loa aku i kāu hoa, ʻo ke aloha hou aʻe āu e manaʻo ai a ʻo ka lōʻihi ia.
Eia i nā "kāne" o ka honua, e hōʻike ana iā mākou pehea e lilo ai i poʻe maikaʻi a me nā hoa maikaʻi.