Anter
- 1. Noi i nā mea kuhikuhi
- 2. E heluhelu i nā loiloi me ka palaoa paʻakai
- 3. Hoʻohālikelike i nā mea i waho
- 4. E nānā pono i nā hōʻoia
- 5. E nīnau i nā nīnau he nui
- 6. E koho kēlā me kēia wahine i luna
- 7. Ke hoʻoholo ʻoe i ka mea aʻoaʻo e koho ai, e ʻaelike i ka wā o ka hoʻokolokolo
Ua hoʻoholo ʻolua me kāu kāne e pono e komo pū i loko 'ōlelo aʻoaʻo ma ka pūnaewele. Ua hoʻoholo ʻolua e holo pono ka ʻōlelo aʻo male pūnaewele no ʻolua. Nui!
Akā i kēia manawa hiki mai ka ʻāpana paʻakikī loa - pehea e ʻike ai i kahi kākāʻōlelo male a i ʻole kūpono e loaʻa ai kahi kākāʻōlelo male ma ka pūnaewele.
E like me inā e hana ana ʻoe ia i loko o ke kanaka, ke kūʻai ʻana a puni no ke kākāʻōlelo male ʻoi loa ke kī i kou kūleʻa. ʻOkoʻa kēlā me kēia kākāʻōlelo male, a me ke kākāʻōlelo male ma ka pūnaewele, hiki ke lilo i mea paʻakikī i kekahi manawa e ʻike inā he kūpono maikaʻi ia nāu.
He mea nui ia e nānā i nā ʻike pono i ka wā e ʻimi nei i ka ʻōlelo aʻo kūkā maikaʻi pūnaewele e hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe a me kāu wahine e hoʻoponopono i nā hakakā a kūkulu i kahi male olakino a ikaika hoʻi.
I ka hopena, pili ka hopena i ka mea āu a me kāu wahine i hoʻokomo ai i loko. Akā he aha ka mea e hiki ke kōkua i ka hoʻololi ʻana i nā mākau a me ke alakaʻi i hāʻawi ʻia e kāu kākā'ōlelo male pūnaewele.
ʻO ke koho ʻana i nā ʻōlelo aʻo a nā kāne kūpono i ka pūnaewele he mea nui ia e hiki ke kamaʻilio maikaʻi aku, a hana ma waena o nā pilikia me ka maikaʻi. I mea e kōkua ai iā ʻoe a hana i ke kaʻina hana no ka loaʻa ʻana o ka mea hoʻoponopono no ka hoʻolauleʻa male ma ka pūnaewele i manaʻo ʻia he kūpono maikaʻi, e hāhai i kēia mau kaʻina e kōkua i kāu ʻimi no ke kākā'ōlelo male male pūnaewele maikaʻi.
1. Noi i nā mea kuhikuhi
ʻO ke anonymity paha ke kumu nui i hoʻoholo ai ʻoe e hele me ka pūnaewele ma luna o ka lāʻau i loko o ke kanaka — akā inā ʻike ʻoe i kekahi i hoʻohana i ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa pūnaewele ma mua, pono ia e hoʻouna i kahi leka pilikino a nīnau. Hiki iā ʻoe ke nīnau ma o kahi kūkā pūnaewele.
ʻO ka hōʻiliʻili ʻana i ka ʻike e like me ka hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻike inā he kūpono kūpono ke kākāʻōlelo no ʻoe a he aha hoʻi ia 'ōlelo aʻo maikaʻi loa nā kāne ma ka pūnaewele.
2. E heluhelu i nā loiloi me ka palaoa paʻakai
Loaʻa paha i ka pūnaewele pūnaewele a kēlā me kēia ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male ka manaʻo aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo ma ka pūnaewele a me nā loiloi aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo male pūnaewele i kākau ʻia e nā mea kūʻai aku mua; maopopo he ʻĀpana maikaʻi lākou āpau.
ʻOiai inā loaʻa iā lākou nā loiloi maikaʻi ʻole, a laila ʻaʻole makemake ka mea lapaʻau e kau i nā mea maikaʻi ʻole ma ka pūnaewele. No laila e heluhelu i nā loiloi i hōʻike ʻia ma ka pūnaewele inā koho ʻoe, akā ʻike wale ia he ʻike kuhihewa ia o nā loiloi hiki ke loaʻa.
E mākaʻikaʻi me kāu noiʻi a hilinaʻi i kou ʻōpū ke ʻohi ʻana i kahi mea hoʻoponopono.
3. Hoʻohālikelike i nā mea i waho
E ʻike i ka helu kiʻekiʻe aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo male ma ka pūnaewele nā pūnaewele a i ʻole nā aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo male i paipai ʻia, a heluhelu i nā ʻāpana "e pili ana i ke kākāʻōlelo".
E hana i kahi papa inoa o ko lākou inoa a me nā kāʻei. Na wai e hoʻokuʻi iā ʻoe ma ke ʻano he mākaukau loa a kōkua? No ke aha lākou i komo ai i ka ʻoihana i ka mua? Ua kani paha kekahi mea i kā lākou ʻāpana "About Me" iā ʻoe?
E ʻike pono i ka heluhelu ʻana e pili ana i kā lākou palapala hōʻoia no ka mea e kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo inā pili ka ʻike i kāu pili wahine.
4. E nānā pono i nā hōʻoia
ʻO ka hana pū ʻana me kekahi me ka pūnaewele hiki ke makaʻu. Pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai inā ʻo lākou kēlā? Pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai inā he mea maoli kā lākou e haʻi mai nei iā ʻoe e pili ana i kā lākou ʻike?
Nui a hewahewa nā ala e hana ai pēlā, akā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka loon ma ka pūnaewele o ka mokuʻāina kahi i loaʻa ai ka mea lapaʻau a nānā i nā hōʻoia o kahi mea lapaʻau e hoʻomaʻamaʻa ana i kēlā mokuʻāina.
ʻO kahi ala ʻē aʻe pehea e loaʻa ai a maikaʻi therapist mare aiʻole pehea e hōʻoia ai i nā hōʻoia o ka mea hoʻoponopono e ʻimi i nā papa kuhikuhi kūpono.
ʻO kahi laʻana, hiki iā ʻoe ke hele i kēia mau pūnaewele e ʻimi ai:
- Kakau inoa aupuni o nā therapist aloha male
- Papa Kuhikuhi referral institute ʻo Gottman
- ʻO ka hui ʻAmelika o ka male a me nā ʻohana therapists ʻohana (AAMFT) papa kuhikuhi huli mea hoʻoponopono
- International kikowaena no ka poʻokela ma ka manaʻo-hoʻomālama therapy (ICEEFT)
Loaʻa iā lākou āpau i kahi hiʻohiʻona huli "kōkua i kahi therapist".
5. E nīnau i nā nīnau he nui
He mea nui ia e ninaninau i kāu mea hoʻoponopono ma mua o ke kau inoa ʻana e hana pū me ia. E kākau i nā nīnau āu e loaʻa ai a hōʻoia i pane ʻia i kou ʻoluʻolu ma mua o kou ʻae ʻana e hana pū me ia.
ʻO nā nīnau i hiki ke lilo: Pehea ka lōʻihi o kou lilo ʻana i kākāʻōlelo male? Ehia mau kāne āu i kōkua ai? He aha kāu hana no ka hana ʻana ma o ka hakakā?
Hana pū ʻoe me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a i ʻole nānā nui ʻoe i ka male? Ehia mau manawa a mākou e kamaʻilio ai? E kamaʻilio mau paha mākou iā ʻoe a i ʻole e kuhikuhi iā ʻoe i nā mea maʻi i kahi mea kōkua a i ʻole therapist pili?
Hiki nō ke nīnau i kekahi mau nīnau pilikino, e like me ka male a male ʻole? Ua haʻalele lākou i ka hala? He keiki paha kā lākou?
Eia naʻe, e hoʻomākaukau no ka mea hoʻoponopono ʻaʻole e pane i kēlā mau nīnau pilikino, no ka mea ʻaʻole koi ʻia ia mau mea.
6. E koho kēlā me kēia wahine i luna
Maliʻa ʻokoʻa ʻolua makemake ʻokoʻa 'ōlelo aʻoaʻo male pūnaewele no nā kumu like ʻole. Hiki i kēlā me kēia o ʻoe ke koho i kāu 3 kiʻekiʻe a hoʻohālikelike i nā papa inoa. Loaʻa iā ʻoe kekahi mea like?
ʻO kēlā mea hoʻoponopono ʻoi aku paha ka mea ʻoi loa e hele pū ʻoe. ʻAʻohe mea like? E kamaʻilio pū kekahi e pili ana i nā inoa ma kāu papa inoa a me nā maikaʻi a me nā maikaʻi ʻole o kēlā me kēia.
7. Ke hoʻoholo ʻoe i ka mea aʻoaʻo e koho ai, e ʻaelike i ka wā o ka hoʻokolokolo
Hāʻawi iā ia i kahi kau a ʻelua paha e ʻike inā he kūpono maikaʻi ʻoe. ʻO kekahi manawa ʻoe a kekahi manawa ʻaʻole ʻoe. He mea nui ia i ka hilinaʻi nui o ʻolua i ke kākāʻōlelo. Inā ʻaʻole ʻo ka hilinaʻi ma laila, ʻaʻole pono ke hoʻomau; hiki paha i ka manawa ke hoʻomaka i ke kaʻina hana a ʻimi i kahi kākāʻōlelo hou.
Me he mea lā he manawa hoʻoluhi ka hana e loaʻa a kūkākūkā male maikaʻi ma ka pūnaewele, akā i ka hopena, e waiwai ana nā hana āpau.
Hoʻomanaʻo ka hapanui o nā mea āpau e hāhai i kou ʻōpū. Inā manaʻo ʻoe hiki iā ʻoe ke hilinaʻi i kahi kākāʻōlelo a ke hāʻawi nei lākou i kahi lewa hoʻokolokolo ʻole, a laila kūpono paha lākou iā ʻoe.