Anter
Me he mea lā ua hoʻohui ʻia nā ʻohana a nui aku. Aia kekahi mau male hou e pau ana i ka hemo male, ke kumu o ka hui ʻana o ʻelua mau mea hou i loaʻa kā lāua keiki ponoʻī.
Ke lilo nei kēia i mea maʻamau i kā mākou kaiāulu, he mea kupaianaha. Eia naʻe, he aha nā nā pōmaikaʻi a me nā maikaʻi ʻole o ka noho ʻana i kahi ʻohana i hui ʻia?
Hōʻike kēia ʻatikala i ka hoʻopili ʻia ʻana o nā ʻohana i nā maikaʻi a me nā mea maikaʻi ʻole, a hoʻāʻo e wehewehe i nā pilikia o ka ʻohana i hui ʻia a huikau i nā hakakā ʻohana ma o kahi laʻana.
Nā ʻohana i hui ʻia - Maikaʻi a maikaʻi ʻole paha?
Hana ʻia a ʻohana like kekahi mau ʻohana hui kāwili ʻia a huikau a kaʻawale nā ʻohana i hui ʻia. Ua hauʻoli wau i ka hana pū ʻana me nā ʻohana hui ʻia ʻelua, akā maʻamau loaʻa nā ʻohana haunaele a kaʻawale.
Ua kōkua kēia iaʻu e hoʻomaopopo i ka maikaʻi o ka noho ʻana i ka ʻohana i hui ʻia a me ka nā hopena maikaʻi ʻole o nā ʻohana i hoʻohui ʻia.
Eia nō naʻe, hele mai lākou i ka lāʻau e hoʻāʻo ai e pili a hoʻopili ʻia me kekahi. Akā ʻo wai ka hewa no kēia haunaele i loko o kēia mau ʻohana i hui ʻia.
Hiki paha i ka makua hou i ka ʻohana i hoʻohui ʻia ke koʻikoʻi a pili ʻole paha? A i ʻole hiki ke mālama ʻia nā keiki hou? A i ʻole hiki paha i ka nui o nā ʻaoʻao i pili e kūʻē nei i nā hana no kēia ʻohana i hui ʻia e lanakila.
He mea nui e hoʻomaopopo i nā ʻaoʻao ʻelua o kēia ʻohana i hui ʻia. I kekahi manawa hiki ke kuhi hewa ʻole a me nā mea i manaʻo ʻole ʻia ʻole ma nā wēlau ʻelua. ʻO kahi ʻohana i noʻonoʻo i hoʻokahi me kahi makuahine i hānau he keikikāne a hoʻomaka i kahi ola hou me kāna hoa.
Kiʻi
Kēia ʻohana i hui ʻia ua loaʻa kekahi mau kiʻekiʻe a me nā haʻahaʻa. I kēia manawa, maikaʻi nā mea. Me kēia ʻohana, nui nā ʻaoʻao i pili i kēia pilikia. Aia kēia makuahine ma waenakonu o kāna keikikāne a me kāna hoa no kekahi mau manawa.
Aia kekahi mau manawa ke hele a kāna keiki me kāna hoa hou a me nā manawa ke ʻike ʻole ʻo ia iā ia. I ka wā ʻōpio o kāna keiki ua ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi.
E launa ʻo ia a pili pū me ka hoa hou o ka makuahine, akā me ka manawa o kāna kamaʻilio ʻana ua kaupalena ʻia a inā e noi ʻia ʻo ia e komo i nā mea me ka makuahine a me kāna hoa pili hou ʻaʻole maikaʻi nā mea. ʻEhā mau makahiki i hala aku nei ua hoʻoholo ʻo makuahine e loaʻa kahi pēpē.
I ka manawa mua, ʻaʻole hauʻoli nui kāna keiki, a laila hoʻomehana ʻo ia i ka manaʻo, akā i kēia manawa ʻaʻole like lāua me ke keiki hou. E haʻi ʻo ia ʻaʻole makemake ʻo ia i kahi kaikaina a ʻaʻole ʻo ia i kaikaina. Paʻa mau kēia māmā ma waena.
Aia kēia ʻohana ma kahi kaʻa lola, ʻo ka nīnau no ke aha. Ua maopopo iaʻu he ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe ko kēia ʻohana e pili ana i ka hoʻopili ʻana i nā mea.
Ua pili ke keiki me ka ʻaoʻao o ka makua o ka ʻohana a ʻaʻole lākou ʻoluʻolu me ke keiki he makua hou. ʻO kēia ke kumu o nā pilikia ʻaʻole wale no ka makuahine a me kāna hoa hou akā akā no ka ʻohana holoʻokoʻa.
Ma ke ʻano he therapist, he mea nui ia e komo i ka ʻohana holoʻokoʻa. He paʻakikī paha ke kiʻi ʻana i ke keiki e hāmama, akā inā he pono hiki iā ia ke loaʻa i kekahi ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pākahi. He mea nui ia no ka makuahine a me kāna hoa hou e noho ma ka ʻaoʻao like.
ʻO ka noho ʻana ma ka ʻaoʻao hoʻokahi paʻakikī loa no nā hoa. He hewa paha ko ka makuahine no ka pili hou ʻana a me kahi keiki hou a hāʻawi i kāna keiki kāne. ʻAʻole hiki i ka ʻaoʻao like ke kumu i ke alo o nā kāne he nui i nā pilikia a me ka hopohopo ʻole a me ka hauʻoli ʻole i ka pilina.
Panina hopena
Pono e ʻike ka hoa hou e komo a hoʻāʻo e noho ma laila no ke keiki, ʻaʻole hōʻike i ka ʻokoʻa o ke aloha a me ka mahalo no kahi keiki hānau vs. keiki i loaʻa ma o ka hoʻohui ʻana i nā ʻohana.
I ka hopena, pono e ʻike kekahi ʻohana i hui ʻia hiki ke paʻakikī a aia a piʻi a piʻi i lalo. Kekahi hoʻohui ʻohana i kāwili ʻia me ka wikiwiki a me ka maʻalahi ma mua o kekahi.