Anter
- Aloha ma waena o nā makahiki
- ʻO ka psychology o ka moekolohe waena
- Komo i Hollywood
- Ke loli nei paha ka moekolohe?
I ke ʻano o ka nohona ʻAmelika, ua ʻōlelo nā psychologists he pono nui i nā hanauna kahiko e loaʻa ka mea e pono ai nā ʻōpio a no ka poʻe ʻōpio, i mea e pono ai ka naʻauao a me ke alakaʻi a nā kūpuna.
ʻO ka maʻamau, maʻalahi ka maʻalahi e like me ka hoʻoholo ʻana o nā kūpuna e hoʻonui i ka manawa i ka hānai ʻana i kā lākou moʻopuna a i ʻole ʻae ʻana e lilo i alakaʻi alakaʻi manawaleʻa no ka poʻe ʻōpio ma kahi hale pule a kula paha.
Akā ke hoʻokau nei kekahi mau ʻelemākule i kēlā mau palena a koho i nā pilina wā nui. ʻO ka hakahaka o ka makahiki ma ka pili ka maʻamau akā, ua hoʻomaka lākou i ka launa ʻana a me ka male ʻana i nā wahine ma mua o 40 mau makahiki ma mua o lākou.
ʻO kēia mau ʻelemākule me ke aloha ma ko lākou lehelehe ʻaʻole lākou i haʻalele i nā makuakāne i haʻalele i kā lākou wahine no nā wahine hapa o ko lākou mau makahiki. ʻO ka hapa nui o lākou ʻaʻole i male iki, a i ka hopena o ke ola, ke ʻimi nei lākou i ka pili makahiki-nui.
A ke hoʻonui nei, ke loaʻa nei iā lākou. Pehea ko lākou ʻōpio? E ʻike hou aʻe e pili ana i nā pilina wā nui, heluhelu pū.
Aloha ma waena o nā makahiki
E ʻike hohonu ai i ka manaʻo o ka pili o ke au nui, e noʻonoʻo i ka hihia o ke kāne 62 makahiki ma Kansas i hele i ka inoa ʻo "J.R." I ka 2018, ua launa ʻo ia me kahi makahiki 19, ʻo Samantha, a hōʻoiaʻiʻo iā ia e male iā ia.
Ua kūʻai pū lāua ʻelua i kahi hale a hoʻolālā e noho hauʻoli ma hope. Akā, ʻaʻole ʻae ka hapa nui o ko lākou mau hoanoho a me nā kaona. Manaʻo pinepine nā malihini he kupuna kāne lāua he moʻopuna paha lāua ʻelua.
ʻO Samantha, ka mea i komo i ke koleke, ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia, "ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi o ke kāhea ʻana o ka poʻe iā JR he" snatcher keiki "a i ʻole" pedophile "ke ʻike lākou iā mākou e paʻa lima a honi paha i ka lehulehu."
Ua haʻiʻo ia i kahi nūpepa kūloko, "ʻAʻohe manawa ke hele mākou i waho a pili i kēlā mea ʻaʻole e haʻi i kahi manaʻo e pili ana i kā mākou pili, a luhi wale nō."
ʻO Samantha, ka mea e manaʻo nei i kāna keiki mua, ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia ua pili ʻo ia i nā kāne o kona mau makahiki ponoʻī ma mua o kona hālāwai ʻana me kāna kāne akā ʻike ʻole lākou i nā kāne makua ʻole a mahalo ʻole iā ia. "He ʻokoʻa loa ka noho pū ʻana me JR - makua loa ʻo ia a mālama iaʻu e like me ke mōʻī wahine, ʻaʻohe mea aʻu e hoʻololi ai e pili ana iā ia a i kā mākou pili paha," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia.
"Lana ko mākou manaʻo ma ka kaʻana like ʻana i ka moʻolelo o kā mākou pili, e ʻike ka poʻe ʻaʻole ia he ʻōlelo hoʻomakeʻaka a koʻikoʻi maoli mākou i kekahi i kekahi ʻoiai ko mākou wā makahiki a me nā helehelena, "wahi a Samantha.
He mea ʻokoʻa paha ʻo Samantha no ka mea ua aloha ʻo ia a male i ka sexagenarian mua āna i launa ai. Hoʻopaʻa pinepine nā wahine ʻē i kēia pūʻulu makahiki akā ʻaʻole ʻike ʻia ko lākou aloha mau.
E noʻonoʻo mākou i kahi hiʻohiʻona hou aʻe o ka pili o nā makahiki nui. Ua hoʻāʻo kahi wahine 37 nona ka inoa ʻo Megan i kahi pilina me 68 makahiki ʻo Gary, akā ʻaʻole ia i mau.
Ma hope koke o ko lākou kaʻawale, ua hele ʻo ia i kahi male male a hui ʻo ia me kahi makua kāne o ke kāne kāne 71 makahiki, nāna i hāʻawi iā ia i kahi pass iā ia. Akā ua hoʻololi ʻia ua male ʻo ia, a ua ʻōlelo ʻo Megan hōʻole ʻo ia e lilo i "homewrecker."
ʻO nā kumu a Megan no ka ʻimi ʻana i nā kāne ʻelemakule e like like me Samantha's. Ua ʻike ʻo ia i kēia mau kāne hou aʻe kūpaʻa a kū a makemake e mālama iā ia e like me ka wahine. ʻAʻohe o lākou "manawa no ka bullshit. Inā makemake lākou iā ʻoe, makemake lākou iā ʻoe ”wahi a ia.
Loaʻa i nā kāne ʻōpio nā "wili hoʻomaʻamaʻa" a pono e "makuahine" ma o kā lākou kula ʻana a me kā lākou ʻoihana. E ʻimi ʻo ia i kahi kāne i "hoʻokō" a "ʻaʻohe mea i koe e hōʻoia ai," i hoʻohui ʻo ia.
ʻO ka psychology o ka moekolohe waena
ʻAʻole maopopo i ka poʻe psychologists he aha ka mea e noʻonoʻo ai. ʻO ka pane maʻamau ʻo ia ka pono i ka wahine ke loaʻa nā "pilikia a Pāpā" a ʻo ia paha ka mea i loaʻa i ka nānā e makemake ʻole ʻia e nā kāne makua ma ke ʻano kamaliʻi.
ʻOiai ke ʻae ʻana i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o nā manaʻo, nui ka poʻe e nīnau ana pehea e ʻike ai nā hoa ʻelua i ka mea maʻamau e hoʻomau ai i ka pilina pili i ka wā lōʻihi.
Aia kekahi manawa olakino no ka poʻe, kāne a wahine paha, i ʻume ʻia i nā ʻelemakule, a me nā hoa ʻelemakule, he gerontophilia ia. Akā ʻaʻohe noiʻi koʻikoʻi i loaʻa e hōʻike ai i ka laha pinepine o ka hanana.
He aha ia mea no ke kāne i ka pili o ke au nui? ʻO ke kākoʻo o ke ʻōpio, no hoʻokahi.
Lawe mai kahi wahine ʻōpio i kahi huna hou o ka ikehu a me ka ikaika a me ka mahalo o ka ʻōpio a me ka hoʻohanohano ʻana i hiki i kahi ʻelemakule ke ʻona loa.
Akā ma ʻō aku o ka pili kino e waiho pū kekahi me ka pilina. A ʻo kēia ka mea e ʻimi nei i nā mea ʻelua i pili i ka pili o nā makahiki nui.
Komo i Hollywood
ʻO kahi kahi maʻAmelika e ʻike e hoʻoliʻiliʻi i nā pono o ke aloha i waena o ka hanauna ʻo Tinsel Town. ʻAʻole i emi iho ma mua o ʻeiwa mau kiʻi ʻoniʻoni Hollywood nui o nā makahiki he ʻelua i hala aku nei e hōʻike nei i nā kāne aloha hauʻoli me ka makahiki ʻokoʻa o 30 mau makahiki a ʻoi paha.
ʻO Woody Allen ka mea i haki mua i ka kapu, ka mua i ka Manhattan (1979) a laila ma Nā kāne a me nā wahine (1992). I ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, ʻo kona ʻano he 56 a ʻo kāna hoihoi aloha, i hoʻokani ʻia e Juliette Lewis, he 19 wale nō ia.
Ua hōʻeha ke kiʻiʻoniʻoni i ka manawa i hōʻike ʻia ai e haʻalele ana ʻo Allen i kāna wahine ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻo Mia Farrow, no kā lāua kaikamahine hānai hānau ʻia Kōlea, ʻo Soon-Yi Previn, ʻo ia ka 34 mau makahiki o kāna ʻōpio.
I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka pīhoihoi o Hollywood me ke aloha aloha hanauna i ulu wale mai ia manawa. ʻO nā mea hana papa inoa ʻo A-list e like me Sean Connery, Liam Neeson, a me Billy Bob Thornton i pāʻani i nā sexagenarians nui i alualu ʻia e nā wahine ʻōpio.
I loko o Ke Kanaka ʻAʻohe Maʻala (2001), hoʻopunipuni ʻia ke ʻano o Thornton i kāna kaʻa e Scarlett Johannson, he 16 ona makahiki, e pāʻani ana i ke kaikamahine i kona mau makahiki ponoʻī.
ʻIke nō, ʻaʻole kekahi o kēia mau kiʻi ʻoniʻoni e hoʻoliʻiliʻi i ke kiʻi o ke aloha a me ka erotic obsession i loko Lolita (1962), kekahi o nā mea hana a Stanley Kubrick.
ʻAʻole ʻike ʻia kahi kāne ʻelemakule ma ke kiʻi wale ʻana i kahi kaikamahine ʻōpio ma kahi ʻāpana, no ka mea, ʻo nā kaikamahine i nīnau ʻia, ma ke ʻano he rula, ʻaʻole ʻōpio loa lākou.
E nānā pū kekahi:
Ke loli nei paha ka moekolohe?
I ke au o ka wanaʻao wahine, ʻike nui ʻia nā wahine ʻōpio i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ma ke ʻano he haku wahine o ko lākou hopena ponoʻī, ʻo ia hoʻi ko lākou mau kāne kāne kāne kāne, ke ʻike lākou i ke aloha maoli, manaʻo ʻia he "kūpono" iā lākou.
Eia nō naʻe, ʻaʻole e pau kekahi o kēia mau mele ʻoniʻoni i nā pilina paʻa mau, a he mau wahine hiʻohiʻona ke ʻano o ka hanauna kahiko.
ʻO nā kāne, me he mea lā, hiki ke ʻoluʻolu me ko lākou mau hiʻohiʻona a me ka virility a ʻo Connery, i kāna mau makahiki he 70, hiki ke hōʻoia iā Kathryn Zeta-Jones i Hoʻokomo (1999), ʻo kahi laʻana. Akā, noʻonoʻo ka nani o ka wahine a me ka hoʻopiʻi wahine e pau me ka manawa.
Me ke kanalua ʻole, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o ka noho aloha ma waena o ka hanauna ma mua o kā lākou hōʻike i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. E like me kā Alfred Kinsey i aʻo mai ai iā mākou i ka wā ma mua, ua ʻaʻa lōʻihi nā ʻano moekolohe ʻAmelika i nā kapu.
Eia nō naʻe, he ola maoli kā mākou e noho ma waho o nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni pū kekahi. ʻOiai inā ʻoe e ʻike i kekahi mau noiʻi a i ʻole psychology i ka pili o nā makahiki he nui, na ʻoe e hoʻoholo no kou ola iho.
E like me ke kūkākūkā ʻana ma ka hihia o Samantha i ka hoʻomaka mua ʻana o kēia ʻatikala, ʻoiai ua hopohopo ka poʻe a puni i ko lākou pilina, ua male hauʻoli ʻo Samantha a me kāna kāne 62 makahiki kekahi i kekahi.
Ma waho o ka stigma e pili ana i ka ʻokoʻa o ka makahiki i ka pili pili, nui nā pilikia e pili ana i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i ka pili o nā makahiki he nui.
ʻAʻole hiki i kahi pane kikoʻī ke hana i nā makahiki i nā pilina a i ʻole hiki ke hana i nā pilina wā nui.
Pono ʻoe e mālama pololei i kāu mau makahiapo ma mua o ke komo ʻana i nā pilina me nā ʻokoʻa o nā makahiki a mākaukau hoʻi e kū i nā hopena maikaʻi ʻole pū kekahi.