Anter
Ke hoʻomaka nei ka lua o kā lāua pili, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike iā lākou e ʻimi nei i ka ʻōlelo aʻo no nā kāne a pehea e hoʻomau ai i nā mea. Eia nō naʻe, ma ka hoʻomaka mua ia o kahi pilina i ka manawa e hāʻawi ai kēlā me kēia i kekahi mau loina i ka noʻonoʻo pono a pili i nā ʻōlelo aʻo pili no nā kāne. No ka mea, inā ʻoe e hehi i ka wāwae hewa, he mea maʻamau ka manawa wale nō e hemo ai ka pilina. ʻO kēia ke kumu e hoʻomanaʻo ai kēia ʻatikala iā ʻoe i nā kumu o ka pilina kūleʻa, a, malia paha, he kahua o ka male maikaʻi.
E ʻoiaʻiʻo
Nānā ʻole i ke ʻano maopopo o kēia ʻōlelo aʻo pili no nā kāne, ʻo ia ka mea paʻakikī loa e ukali. Kūleʻa ke kani, akā ke hele mai nā nuances o kekahi pilina e pāʻani, ʻike ʻia ka paʻakikī o ke kaulike ʻana i nā mea āpau. Akā, e hoʻomaka me ka maopopo. ʻO ke kūpono, ʻaʻole ʻoe a me kāu hoa e hana i kekahi mea āu e hoʻowalewale ʻia ai e wahaheʻe. ʻO ke kūpono, ʻaʻole ʻoe e kolohe ʻole, no ka laʻana.
Eia nō naʻe, me ka hilinaʻi ʻole, e like me nā mea ʻē aʻe, inā hiki mai ia, e hoʻopololei e pili ana iā ia. Nui ka poʻe moe kolohe i aloha i kā lākou hoa. A ma muli o kēia, makaʻu lākou i ka lilo o lākou. ʻAʻole lākou makemake e hōʻeha iā lākou. ʻO kēia ke kumu e moe ai nā poʻe he nui i ka pili pili. Eia nō naʻe, i ka moekolohe like me nā lawena ʻē aʻe, mai lawe ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e hoʻoholo inā ʻike paha lākou iā ia.
I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē aʻe, inā hana ʻoe i kahi mea āu e manaʻoʻiʻo ai e hōʻeha i kāu hoa a huhū paha iā lākou, e alo ia - ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e hoʻoholo i ka mea maikaʻi loa no lākou. A i ka haʻi ʻole ʻana iā lākou i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ke mālama nei ʻoe iā lākou ma ke ʻano kamaliʻi, ma ke ʻano he hiki ʻole ke haʻi i nā mea paʻakikī o ke ola. ʻAʻole ʻoe e mahalo i kāu hoa, a kūpono iā lākou kou mahalo. No laila, nā mea āu e hana ai, e hoʻopono (e makaʻala) e pili ana i kāu mau makemake, pono, makemake i nā manaʻo, a me nā hana. ʻO ia wale nō ke ala e pili ai ka pilina.
E hoʻokūpaʻa
Ua hōʻike aʻe mākou i ka manaʻo aʻe o ka pili kūleʻa, a he kamaʻilio maikaʻi kēlā. A he aha ke kamaʻilio maikaʻi? Hōʻoiaʻiʻo. Ma ke ʻano assertive, ke mālama nei ʻoe iā ʻoe iho a me kāu hoapili me ka mahalo. Ke mahalo nei ʻoe i ko lākou kuleana i ko lākou naʻau a me ko lākou mau manaʻo, a ʻaʻole ʻoe e kaohi ana i kāu.
Hānau ʻia ka poʻe assertive. E nānā wale i nā pēpē. E hōʻike mau lākou iā ʻoe i ka mea a lākou e makemake ai ke makemake lākou, a pehea ka ʻino. I kā lākou ʻano unarticulated, ʻoiaʻiʻo, akā e hōʻike lākou i ka ʻoluʻolu a me ke aloha, a me ka hōʻoluʻolu ʻole a me ka pololei pololei. Aia a hoʻomaka lākou e aʻo i nā ala o ke kaiāulu, eia nō naʻe, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka suppressive o ka assertiveness.
I nā pilina, like me nā wahi ʻē aʻe o ke ola, ʻoi aku ka hakakā a pale ʻole paha o ka poʻe, ma mua o ka assertive. Akā, ʻoiai aia kekahi mau male i hala nā makahiki he mau makahiki me nā hoa i loko o kahi symbiosis pono ʻole o kahi hoa mana a passive, ʻaʻole kēia ke ala e hele ai. Inā makemake ʻoe e ulu pono kou pilina, pono ʻoe e aʻo pehea e assertive ai. I ka pōkole, eia ke ʻano o ka hōʻike mau ʻana i kou mau manaʻo a me nā pono, ʻoiai ʻaʻole e lawe i ke kuleana o ka mea like mai kāu hoa. ʻO ia hoʻi ka hoʻohana ʻole ʻana i nā ʻōlelo hoʻopiʻi a i ʻole ke kani, e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kāu ʻike pilikino. ʻO ia ke noi ʻana i nā hopena, a ʻaʻole e hoʻokau iā lākou. A, ke ʻano o ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana iā ʻoe iho i ke kumu.
E minamina
E minamina i kāu hoa. ʻO ia ka mea nui o nā ʻōlelo aʻo pili a pau no nā kāne. Me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ka mahalo, a me ka assertiveness e hiki mai ai ke aloha. No ka mea inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e kia i ka loaʻa ʻana o kāu pahuhopu ponoʻī i loko o kahi pilina, hoʻomaka ʻoe e ʻike ʻo kāu hoa ʻaʻole ia he mea i kou hauʻoli. Lana kou manaʻo, lawe mai iā ʻoe i ka hauʻoli nui i ke ola. Akā, ʻaʻole lākou i hoʻokomo ʻia i kēia ao e hana i kēia mea nāu. Loaʻa ko lākou mau manaʻo ponoʻī, kā lākou mau manaʻo ponoʻī, a me kā lākou mau ʻike ponoʻī. ʻO kēia ka mea e ʻokoʻa pinepine ai ka ʻike ʻo ʻoe a me kāu pakanā. Akā, ʻo kēia ka manawa a lākou e aloha maoli ai i kekahi āu e aloha ai e hele mai e pāʻani.
E huhū paha kāu hoa i kekahi manawa. E kaumaha lākou no kahi mea āu e ʻike ʻole ai. E haʻalele lākou i kekahi manawa a i ʻole lash out i kekahi. ʻO kēia ka mea ʻaʻole i kou manaʻo ke aloha hou ʻoe. Akā na kēia mau manawa e hoʻokaʻawale i waena o ke aloha maoli a me ka infatuation. No ka mea pono ʻoe e aloha aku i kāu hoa ʻoiai ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻaelike me lākou. ʻO ia ka mea e kūkulu i nā pilina paʻa pōhaku.