Anter
- 1. Kūʻokoʻa ʻoe
- 2. Makemake ʻoe e pili i nā pilina aloha i kou ola
- 3. ʻAʻole lili maʻalahi ʻoe
- 4. ʻAʻole ma ka luhi wale nō
- 5. Maikaʻi ʻoe i ka kaʻana like ʻana
- 6. ʻAʻohe mea nui iā ʻoe ke kūlana
- 7. Makemake ʻoe i nā pilikia i ka pili pili
- 8. Ua pilikia ʻoe i ka hana ʻana
- 9. ʻIke ʻoe i ka paʻa i loko o nā pilina monogamous
- 10. Mahalo ʻoe i kahi pūnaewele kākoʻo nui
Ua ulu ka hapanui o mākou i ka ʻike ʻana i nā hōʻike o pili pili monogamous a puni mākou.
ʻO ko mākou mau ʻohana, ko mākou mau kaiāulu, nā makasina a mākou i heluhelu ai a me nā hōʻike kīwī a mākou i nānā ai a pau i hōʻike iā mākou e pili ana kahi pilina aloha i ke kūpaʻa a me ka kūpaʻa ma waena o ʻelua mau kānaka.
ʻO ka male male monogamous ʻo ia wale nō ke ʻano o ka male ʻana. No laila he aha ka pilina monogamous?
I nā huaʻōlelo maʻalahi, ʻo ia pilina, a male male monogamous paha, kahi kahi e pili ai ke kino a me ka naʻau i kekahi i kekahi. ʻAʻohe wahi no ka hoʻopunipuni. Ua hoʻohiki nā hoa ʻelua e kākoʻo i nā hoʻohiki male a kū ʻole i kekahi i kekahi.
Inā hele hewa kekahi o lākou a hiamoe me haʻi, ua hala ka pilina, a i ʻole ma ka liʻiliʻi loa, ua haki ka hilinaʻi, a ʻaʻole like ka pilina.
ʻOiai ʻo ka monogamy ka mea maʻamau i nā wahi he nui, ke ulu nei ka hoihoi i ka honua holoʻokoʻa polyamory e pili ana i nā pilina hāmama i kahi pae pili a aloha paha me nā mea ʻoi aku ma mua o hoʻokahi.
Hiki ke hoʻokumu ʻia kahi pilina polyamorous e nā poʻe like a like ʻole a i ʻole nā ʻano moe kolohe ʻē aʻe e pili ana i nā heterosexual, lesbian, gay, a i ʻole nā pākeke bisexual.
I loko o nā makahiki, ua lilo ka manaʻo o polyamory i mea ʻoluʻolu me kona kaulana e ʻike ʻia a hiki i ka moʻomeheu pop a me nā nūhou. E lawe i kēia palapala CBSN e like me:
Ke piʻi aʻe nei hoʻi ka makua Polyamorous me nā kuleana kū kānāwai o ia mau kāne i mālama ʻia i ka aloaliʻi o ke kānāwai ma nā wahi like ʻole. Ke hōʻike nei kekahi mau noiʻi noiʻi like ʻole i ka piʻi ʻana o kēia ʻōnaehana, me hoʻokahi i mālama ʻia ma 2017 e hōʻike ana ma waho o 8,700 mau mākua hoʻokahi i ka US ma mua o hoʻokahi o ʻelima i hana i ka polyamory i kekahi manawa i ko lākou ola.
I ka hoʻohālikelike ʻana, ua hōʻike ʻia kahi noiʻi ma 2014 i ka 4% -5% wale nō o ko ʻAmelika e haʻi ana he polyamorous lākou.
Eia nō naʻe, loaʻa iā ʻoe nā mea kākoʻo a me nā naysayers ma kēlā me kēia ʻaoʻao i manaʻoʻiʻo ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kā lākou ala. E nānā mākou i kēia mau paio e maopopo maikaʻi inā kūpono kekahi iā ʻoe a ʻē aʻe paha.
Monogamy vs polyamory: nā paio
Eia nā paio a nā poʻe he nui e pili ana i nā pilina monogamous:
- Manaʻo ʻia he kanaka monogamous? Ae. Pēlā nō ia i ka hapa nui o nā moʻomeheu.
- ʻO Monogamy kahi ala e hōʻoia ai i nā keiki e ulu aʻe i kahi hale paʻa kahi e manaʻo ai lākou e palekana a paʻa i ke aloha i hāʻawi ʻia e hoʻokahi pūʻulu o nā mākua.
- ʻAe kēia ʻano pilina i nā hoa ʻelua hana i kahi paʻa paʻa o ka hilinaʻi a me ke kamaʻilio.
- He aha ka manaʻo o ka pilina monogamous i nā kāne? ʻO lākou hilinaʻi kekahi i kekahi i nā manawa maikaʻi a i nā wā maikaʻi ʻole hoʻi. Hāʻawi ʻo Monogamy i kahi hoa hilinaʻi a hilinaʻi hoʻi. Manaʻo kekahi ʻaʻole hele mai ka polyamory me kēlā pae o ke kākoʻo.
- Hoʻoemi ka monogamy i ka makaʻu o nā hoa ʻelua i ka hopu ʻana i nā maʻi i loaʻa i ka moekolohe ma muli o ka hiamoe wale ʻana o kekahi me kekahi.
No laila ʻoiaʻiʻo he monogamy?
- Ke nīnau ʻia kēia nīnau, ʻōlelo kekahi kekahi he kūlohelohe nā pilina monogamous e like me kūkulu ʻia mākou e hōʻike i ke aloha i nā ʻano like ʻole me nā poʻe like ʻole.
ʻLelo lākou ʻaʻole hiki i kekahi kanaka ke hoʻokō i nā mea a pau e pono ai mākou, no laila ua hala ka manaʻo o ka male monogamous.
- Wahi a kekahi poʻe kākoʻo o polyamory ʻo ka maʻamau maʻamau ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi pilina pili. “ʻO ia ka mokuʻāina kūlohelohe no nā kānaka.”
- Ma kahi o 20% o nā mākua hoʻokahi o ʻAmelika i hana i ka polyamory consensual ma ka liʻiliʻi i hoʻokahi manawa i ko lākou ola, e like me kēia noi 2016 i paʻi ʻia ma ka Ka Nupepa o Sex & Marital Therapy.
- Hoʻomaopopo ʻo Elisamela Sheff ka loea Polyamory a me ka mea hoʻouluulu i nā kumu mua e ʻōlelo ai ka poʻe makemake lākou i ka polyamory.
- Kūpono ia i nā pono hou aʻe
- Hāʻawi ia i ka hiki no ke aloha hou aku
- Hāʻawi ia i nā ʻano moekolohe
- Hoʻokumu ia i kahi manawa kūpono e loaʻa ai kahi ʻohana nui aʻe me ke aloha hou aʻe e hele a puni
I loko o kāna puke Polyamory i ka 21st Century: Love and Intimacy me Multiple Partners, ua ʻōlelo ʻia e ka psychologist kālaiʻike ʻAmelika ʻo Deborah Anapol e māʻona pū ana hoʻi i ka makemake o nā polys no ke kūʻokoʻa a me ke kipi.
Ke nānā nei i nā ʻaoʻao ʻelua, hiki i ka paʻakikī ke koho, a ke noʻonoʻo paha ʻoe inā paha ʻo ʻoe kekahi e hauʻoli i ka pili pili ʻole i ka monogamous.
Ke ʻimi nei paha ʻoe i kekahi mau ʻano a i ʻole nā hōʻailona e hiki ke hoʻomoe i nā mea āpau iā ʻoe i hiki ai iā ʻoe ke koho i monogamous a i ʻole polygamous.
ʻĀ, ʻānō e hoʻoholo paha ʻoe ma ka ʻimi ʻana i nā hōʻailona he ʻumi e hiki mai ana kahi pili pili ʻole na ʻoe:
1. Kūʻokoʻa ʻoe
Inā i loko o nā makahiki, ʻaʻole ʻoluʻolu ʻoe i ka manaʻo o ka noho ʻana i kou ola me hoʻokahi hoa a me nā keiki i ka manawa kūpono a laila he hōʻailona ia e makemake ʻole ʻoe i ka pili monogamous.
ʻAʻole kūpono ke ola ʻana i kahi ola non-monogamous consensually inā he keiki ʻōpio kāu. Wahi a kekahi poʻe loea, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o nā keiki ʻōpio me kahi mono-makua a i ʻole ʻelua mau mākua home kahua paʻa.
ʻĀ, inā hiki i kāu poʻe keiki ke mālama iā lākou iho, a laila hiki ke hiki i kahi nohona non-monogamous. I ka manawa like, pili ka pilina polyamorous hiki i kekahi mea ma ka home ke nānā mau i ke keiki me ka ʻole o nā hoa ʻē aʻe.
2. Makemake ʻoe e pili i nā pilina aloha i kou ola
Inā ʻoe e ʻike i kēia leʻaleʻa, ma luna, a ma ʻō aku o ka ʻano moekolohe a kēia hoʻonohonoho ʻana e hāʻawi ai, a laila hiki ke kiʻi ʻia ʻoe no ka monogamy non-consensual wale nō.
He nui kāu e hāʻawi ai, a ke noho nei i ka pilina monogamous ʻaʻole kūpono i kāu mau pono.
ʻIke ʻoe i ka loaʻa ʻana o nā hoa he nui e kōkua iā ʻoe e ulu exponentially, no ka mea hāʻawi kēlā me kēia hoa i kahi mea ʻokoʻa āu e ʻike ʻole ai me kekahi mea ʻē aʻe. ʻO kou aloha ka momona o kēia.
3. ʻAʻole lili maʻalahi ʻoe
Inā ʻoe e ʻike iā ʻoe iho ma ke ʻano he lili ʻole i ka kaʻana like ʻana i kāu hoa me ka naʻau a me ka moekolohe me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻoluʻolu paha ʻoe i ka polyamory.
ʻO ka poʻe Polyamorous ʻaʻole lākou he lili; he ʻano ʻano i loaʻa ʻole i ko lākou pilikino.
Hāʻawi kēia iā lākou a me kā lākou mau hoa e leʻaleʻa i ka pili moekolohe a me ka naʻau me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe me ka ʻole o ka manaʻo o ka ʻona a me ka hoʻoweliweli paha e pani ʻia lākou e kahi hoa "ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi".
Eia kahi wikiō hoihoi o ka poʻe polyamorous a me nā monogamous e kamaʻilio nei e pili ana i kā lākou hana i nā pilina a me ke ʻano o ka lili i loko.
4. ʻAʻole ma ka luhi wale nō
Hoʻomaopopo ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e ʻike ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ka luhi me kāu hoa monogamous, a me ka pono maoli e noho i kahi pilina wehe. He mea maʻamau ia i ka male monogamous e loaʻa nā wā o ka luhi i loko o ka lumi moe.
ʻO kēia ke hiki ke hoʻohana ʻia i nā mea pāʻani moekolohe, erotica, a me nā pāʻani moekolohe e ʻala i nā mea akā pono ʻoe i kahi mea hou aʻe.
E noʻonoʻo paha ʻoe i ka wehe ʻana i kāu male male-monogamous a i ʻole ka pilina i ka polyamory.
5. Maikaʻi ʻoe i ka kaʻana like ʻana
Hōʻike ka Consensual non-monogamy ʻoluʻolu ʻoe i kaʻana like. ʻAʻole pono ka poʻe i pili i ka monogamous e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ka kaʻana like i kā lākou hoa.
ʻO ka manaʻo e kaʻana like i kāu mau hoa, kou puʻuwai, kou manawa, kou wahi moe, kou wahi pilikino, a me ka ʻike ʻana e hana like nei kāu mau hoa hana ʻaʻole ia e hoʻopilikia iā ʻoe. Ua maikaʻi ʻoe me kēlā mau mea āpau.
6. ʻAʻohe mea nui iā ʻoe ke kūlana
ʻAʻole ʻoe e hoʻāʻo e komo i loko o nā puna. Ua hoʻāʻo ʻoe e uhaʻi i kēlā me kēia lula i hoʻonohonoho ʻia e ke kaiāulu a mai noʻonoʻo e pili ana nā pilina i kekahi mau palena. ʻO ka noʻonoʻo wale i kēlā ʻano ʻawaʻawa.
7. Makemake ʻoe i nā pilikia i ka pili pili
Inā ʻaʻole hoʻolei kahi pilina i mua ou, ʻaʻole ia e hoʻonāukiuki iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole like ka hana ʻana me nā piʻi a me lalo o nā manaʻo o nā mea like ʻole e like me kahi hana paʻakikī nāu.
8. Ua pilikia ʻoe i ka hana ʻana
ʻO ka manaʻo o ka noho pū ʻana me hoʻokahi kanaka no ke koena o kou ola ke makaʻu iā ʻoe.ʻAʻole ia ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake i kahi pili lōʻihi akā ke kaʻanalike ʻana i kou ola me hoʻokahi kanaka a i ʻole lawe ʻana i nā hoʻoholo nui me lākou ʻaʻole maikaʻi.
9. ʻIke ʻoe i ka paʻa i loko o nā pilina monogamous
Ua hele ʻoe ma laila a hana i kēlā akā ʻano ʻē kekahi mea. ʻAʻole ia no kou kūpaʻa phobic akā ʻo kēlā mau pilina monogamous pau mau me ʻoe e noi nei no nā mea hou aʻe. Makemake ʻoe e noho i lalo akā ʻaʻohe mea e hoʻopiʻi i kēlā me kēia ʻaoʻao ou. Inā ʻoe i loko o kahi kaula o nā pilina monogamous me ka manaʻo ʻole i hoʻokō ʻole i kēia ala, hiki ke hōʻailona inā ʻaʻole ia ke ala no ʻoe.
10. Mahalo ʻoe i kahi pūnaewele kākoʻo nui
Inā ʻoe he kanaka makemake ʻole e kaukaʻi wale i ke kanaka āu e aloha ai, ʻaʻole paha no ʻoe kahi pili monogamous.
I kahi pilina polyamorous, hiki iā ʻoe ke leʻaleʻa i ke kākoʻo o nā mea ʻoi aku ma mua o hoʻokahi. Hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa i kahi ʻoihana kākoʻo ikaika, i ke kākoʻo kino a i ʻole ke kākoʻo.
ʻO kahi laʻana, hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa i kekahi e kōkua iā ʻoe me kāu ʻano hoʻoikaika kino. Eia kekahi, hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa i kahi mea ʻē aʻe e mālama i kāu pono o ka naʻau ke keu ʻoe i lalo me ka kaomi hana.
I kēia manawa he nānā kāu i nā hōʻailona 10 kiʻekiʻe e ʻike hou aʻe e pili ana i ka nohona monogamous a me polyamorous, pono ʻoe e nīnau iā ʻoe iho i kahi nīnau nui:
ʻAʻole ʻoe makemake i kahi polyamory solo?
Ma mua o kou noʻonoʻo ʻana e pili ana i ka ʻoki ʻole ʻia no ka monogamy, e nīnau iā ʻoe iho i kēia: nou wale nō kēia, a pīhoihoi paha ʻoe i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i ka hiamoe ʻana o kāu hoa me kekahi poʻe ʻē aʻe?
No ka mea inā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo polyamory akā no ʻoe wale nō, ʻaʻole ia he polyamory maoli. Ke noi wale nei i kāu hoa no ka ʻae e hele i waho o ka pilina monogamous no ka mea makemake ʻoe i ka moekolohe.
He ʻano ʻokoʻa kēlā.
E alakaʻi i kou puʻuwai
Aia nā mea maikaʻi a me nā hopena i nā pilina monogamous a me polyamorous.
He mea ʻole āu e koho ai, inā e noʻonoʻo nei i ka monogamy a i ʻole polyamory - aia kekahi mea āu e maopopo ai. ʻO kēia ʻano nohona a i ʻole ke ala pilina āu i koho ai mai kahi mai o ke aloha i hiki ai iā ʻoe a me kāu hoa a mau hoa paha ke hoʻomau i kahi pilina olakino.