Anter
- He hana wale paha ʻo ia, a ua mae paha ke aloha?
- 15 mau hōʻailona ʻaʻole hoihoi ʻia kāu kāne iā ʻoe
- 1. ʻAʻohe ʻoe kamaʻilio
- 2. ʻAʻole ia i hōʻike i kāna mau pono
- 3. Nānā ʻole ʻo ia i kāu mau pono
- 4. ʻAʻole aloha hou ʻo ia
- 5. Ua make ka moekolohe
- 6. Hoʻolilo ʻo ia i kona manawa kaʻawale me kona mau hoaaloha a ʻaʻole loa ia e kono iā ʻoe
- 7. Nānā ʻo ia i kāna kelepona ma mua o kāna nānā ʻana iā ʻoe
- 8. ʻAʻole ʻo ia e hoʻomaikaʻi iā ʻoe
- 9. Manaʻo pū ka manawa ʻo "Quality"
- 10. ʻAʻohe ʻo ia hoihoi a hoihoi pū paha me ʻoe
- 11. ʻAʻole ia i hilinaʻi hou ʻia
- 12. Kāhea ʻo ia iā ʻoe i mau inoa
- 13. ʻAʻohe aloha ʻē aʻe
- 14. ʻAʻole ʻo ia e nānā pū me ʻoe a puni ka lā.
- 15. Ua huhū ʻo ia i nā mea āpau āu e hana ai.
- 3 Nā kumu i makemake ʻole ai ʻo ia e ʻumeʻume
- Panina hopena
Ua hele ʻoe i loko o ka male, me ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i kahi hoʻokō wā lōʻihi e holo pono ia. Ua ʻike ʻoe ʻaʻole ia he lā a me nā pua rose i kēlā me kēia lā akā hilinaʻi ʻoe i kou aloha kekahi i kekahi e hoʻokau iā ʻoe i nā ʻino e hiki mai ana.
Akā i kēia manawa aia ʻoe ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe o ka male (inā he 3 mau makahiki a i ʻole 30), manaʻo ʻia kekahi mea, a ua ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e haʻohaʻo ana inā ʻo ke aloha wale nō ka mea e pono ai.
He hana wale paha ʻo ia, a ua mae paha ke aloha?
Inā ʻoe e hopohopo, “ʻume ʻia kaʻu kāne iaʻu?
He mea nui e hoʻomanaʻo inā ke aloha ʻole nei ʻoe i kāu kāne, ʻaʻole paha ia ua lilo kāna mea hoihoi iā ʻoe. Nui paha kāna hana, a ʻaʻole ʻo ia e hoʻāʻo e hana ma mua.
A i ʻole, ke hana nei paha ʻo ia i kahi pilikia ma ka hana a i ʻole kahi pilikia olakino i lawe ai iā ʻoe i kahi mea hoʻā hope. I kēia hihia, ʻaʻole ʻume ʻia kāu mau hōʻailona iā ʻoe hiki ke kuhikuhi i kahi pilikia pilikino me ia i hiki ke hoʻonā ʻia me kahi kamaʻilio maʻalahi.
Inā ʻoe e haʻohaʻo ana e pili ana i nā ʻōuli o ka makemake ʻole o kāu kāne iā ʻoe, e heluhelu i nā hae ʻulaʻula he 15 ma lalo a ʻike i nā mea e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke mālama i ke aloha.
15 mau hōʻailona ʻaʻole hoihoi ʻia kāu kāne iā ʻoe
Inā ʻoe e haʻohaʻo ana, "ʻAno iki kaʻu kāne iaʻu?" a i ʻole "Pehea wau e ʻike ai inā ʻume ʻia kaʻu kāne iaʻu?" hopohopo ʻoe hopohopo ʻoe ʻaʻole ʻo ia i loko ou.
Maliʻa paha he kāne aloha ʻole kāu a ʻike ʻole paha i nā ʻano hana ʻē aʻe e hōʻike ana i ka nalowale ʻana i ka wahine.
E noʻonoʻo i nā hōʻailona 15 aʻe e pili ʻole i ka makemake o kāu kāne iā ʻoe:
1. ʻAʻohe ʻoe kamaʻilio
ʻO ke kamaʻilio ke kī i kekahi pilina, ʻoi aku ka male. E ʻōlelo paha ʻoe iā "Hey" i kekahi i ka wā e hele ana ma ke alaloa, akā ʻo ka manawa hea ka manawa hope loa i noho iho ai ʻolua a kamaʻilio pū?
Inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻomanaʻo i ka manawa hope loa o kāna nānā piha ʻana i ke kamaʻilio ʻana, he hopohopo kēia a hiki i kekahi o nā hōʻailona ke ʻike ʻole kāu kāne iā ʻoe he maikaʻi.
He aha e hana ai:
E hoʻomaka me ka nīnau ʻana iā ia e pili ana i kona lā. E hoʻolohe maoli i kāna mau pane a pane i ka nīnau ʻana i nā nīnau e alakaʻi ai i kahi kamaʻilio hou.E nānā i ka maka a hōʻike iā ʻoe i ka mālama e pili ana i kāna ʻike.
2. ʻAʻole ia i hōʻike i kāna mau pono
Ma ke kumuhana o ke kamaʻilio ʻana, haʻi mau ʻo ia iā ʻoe i kāna mau pono? Pono ka male i ʻelua mau kānaka e aʻo pehea e mālama ai kekahi i kekahi, akā inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e haʻi hou aku iā ʻoe i kāna mau pono, pilikia kēia.
He aha e hana ai:
E nīnau! E hoʻomaka i ka lā ma ka nīnau ʻana i nā mea e pono ai iā ʻoe i kēlā lā a i ʻole inā aia kekahi mea e pono ai iā ia ma ka laulā hiki iā ʻoe ke kōkua. ʻO ke ala ʻoi e ʻike ai i ka mea e noi aku ai i kā mākou hoa kāne.
3. Nānā ʻole ʻo ia i kāu mau pono
Ua lawa e pili ana iā ia, pehea ʻoe? Ke kamaʻilio nei ʻoe i kāu mau pono, ʻaʻole naʻe ʻo ia e ʻike iā lākou? Pane paha ʻo ia āpau, a i ʻole manaʻo ʻoe ua hoʻokuʻu ʻo ia iā ʻoe?
Ke kau nei i ka puhi hope a i ʻole pālahalaha ʻia e lilo i mau hōʻailona he hemahema o ka hoʻopukapuka a i ʻole ua lilo ka hoʻohihi a ke kāne i kāna wahine.
He aha e hana ai:
ʻO ka mea mua, pono ʻoe e ʻike i kāu mau pono. Me ka maopopo ʻole o ka manaʻo āu e noi nei, paʻakikī ia e pane ai.
Makemake ʻoe e hōʻike pololei i kāu mau pono a pololei i ke kiko. Pōkole, pololei, a me ka hoʻopiʻi ʻole ʻana he ala maikaʻi ia e hōʻalo ai i ka huikau ma ka mea nui āu e makemake ai e hele i kēlā ʻaoʻao.
4. ʻAʻole aloha hou ʻo ia
He mea nui ia e ʻike i ka pono ʻole o kēlā me kēia kanaka no ke aloha. Inā ʻoi aku kou makemake i ke aloha ma mua o kāna, a laila manaʻo paha ʻoe he kāne aloha ʻole ʻo ia, ʻoiai he ʻokoʻa wale ia i ka hōʻike.
ʻO ka hopohopo maoli inā nele ka pilina i ke aloha, keu hoʻi inā ʻoe i ʻike kekahi i kekahi ma ke ʻano he aloha aloha i ka wā i hala. Inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e puliki iā ʻoe, paʻa i kou lima, honi i kou pāpālina, a kau mālie paha i kona lima ma kou kua, he mau hōʻailona paha kēia na kona manaʻo ma kahi ʻē aʻe.
He aha e hana ai:
Lawe papa helu. Aloha ʻoe? Hoʻopā mālie paha ʻoe iā ia a hāʻawi i kahi ʻūlū ke haʻalele ʻoe kekahi i kekahi no ka lā?
Inā ʻike ʻoe e kaohi ana paha ʻoe i ke aloha, e hoʻāʻo hoʻi e hoʻolauna mālie ma aneʻi a ma aneʻi a ʻike pehea kāna pane. Hiki i kēia ke lilo i ala nui o ka pane ʻana, "pehea e ʻumeʻume ai i kaʻu kāne."
5. Ua make ka moekolohe
He mea maʻamau ia no nā wā lōʻihi e hoʻemi i ka nui a lāua e moekolohe ai ma hope o ka pau ʻana o ka manawa o ka melemona, ʻo ia hoʻi he mea maʻamau no ka manawa ma waena o nā hālāwai moekolohe e ulu iki i ka lōʻihi o ka hui pū ʻana.
Akā ʻo ka nele o ka moekolohe kahi hōʻailona nui ʻaʻole pili hou ʻolua. Inā ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e noʻonoʻo ana, "Nānā ʻole kaʻu kāne iaʻu i ka moekolohe," ʻo kēia kekahi o nā hōʻailona nui i ʻumeʻume ʻole ʻia kāu kāne iā ʻoe.
He aha e hana ai:
E noʻonoʻo e pili ana i kāu moekolohe. ʻOluʻolu hoʻokahi me ka mahina no ʻoe, a i hoʻokahi manawa i hoʻokahi pule e like me ia? ʻIke ʻoe i ke ʻano o kāna moekolohe maikaʻi?
E hoʻāʻo e ʻike i kahi kuʻikahi ma waena inā loli. ʻAʻohe mea ʻeha ke hoʻāʻo i kahi mea hou i loko o ka lumi moe e hoʻā i ke ahi.
6. Hoʻolilo ʻo ia i kona manawa kaʻawale me kona mau hoaaloha a ʻaʻole loa ia e kono iā ʻoe
Ua lawe ʻo ia iā ʻoe ma waho a hōʻike iā ʻoe, akā i kēia manawa solo mau kona manawa hoaaloha. ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi manawa me kāna mau hoa me ka ʻole o ʻoe e pili ana ʻaʻohe mea e hopohopo ai, akā inā ke hoʻolōʻihi ʻo ia i ka manawa me kāna poʻe limahana a ʻaʻole ʻoe i kono hou ʻia, e hoʻolohe.
ʻO kēia paha kekahi o nā hōʻailona a kāu kāne e ʻike ʻole ai iā ʻoe he nani.
Pāʻoihana
I ka manawa aʻe haʻi aku ʻo ia iā ʻoe he hoʻolālā a makemake paha e pili pū me kāna mau hoaaloha, noi e hele pū. ʻAʻole paha paha ʻike ʻo ia makemake ʻoe e launa pū me lākou. No laila, e wehewehe e aloha ʻoe e hopu pū me kāna mau hoa aloha pū kekahi.
7. Nānā ʻo ia i kāna kelepona ma mua o kāna nānā ʻana iā ʻoe
Me nā kelepona paʻalima i nā wahi āpau, ua maʻa mākou i ka poʻe i loaʻa kahi mīkini i mua o ko lākou alo; Eia naʻe, inā ke nānā mau nei ʻo ia i lalo i kēlā pale, ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke nānā iā ʻoe.
ʻAʻohe mea hewa i ka manawa o ka pale, akā inā i loko o nā kamaʻilio āpau, ka lā, ka hangout, ka manawa aia kahi pale ma waena ou a me ia, he hōʻailona paha ia e emi ana kona hoihoi iā ʻoe. Hiki i kēia ke alakaʻi i ka manaʻo makemake ʻole ʻia e ke kāne.
He aha e hana ai:
Hōʻike a hoʻonohonoho i nā manawa ke ʻae ʻole ʻia nā kelepona.
ʻO kahi laʻana, hoʻokō i kahi lula ʻaʻohe kelepona i ʻae ʻia ma ka papa ʻaina. ʻO ka hana ʻana i ka manawa no kēlā me kēia me ka ʻole o nā mea hoʻohuli uila hiki ke hoʻoikaika i kahi kamaʻilio e hiki ai ke alakaʻi i ka pilina.
8. ʻAʻole ʻo ia e hoʻomaikaʻi iā ʻoe
ʻOiai maikaʻi nā mahalo o ke kino, ka hemahema o ia mau mea ʻaʻole ia he kumu ʻaʻole ʻo ia i loko ou. ʻO ka nīnau, mahalo anei iā ʻoe ma nā mea āpau? E pili ana i kekahi mea?
ʻOiai nā ʻōlelo paipai e pili ana i nā mea "lapuwale" (ʻo ka hana nui i ka lawe ʻana i ka ʻōpala!) Hiki ke lilo i mea kōkua. Makemake ʻoe e kuhikuhi iā ia e pane a pane maikaʻi iā ʻoe ma kekahi ʻano.
He aha e hana ai:
E hoʻomaka i nā hoʻomaikaʻi, ʻoiai ke haʻi wale nei iā ia i ka lau naʻu āna i ʻono ai maikaʻi loa. ʻO nā hoʻomaikaʻi nā ala maikaʻi loa e wāwahi ai i ka hau a hoʻomaka i ka hoʻomehana ʻana i kekahi. ʻO ka hāʻawi ʻana i kahi mahalo iā ia hiki ke lilo i hopena inā hoʻomaka ʻoe e ʻike i nā hōʻailona ʻaʻole hoihoi ʻia kāu kāne iā ʻoe.
I loko o ke wikiō ma lalo, hāʻawi ʻo Matthew Hussey i mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo paʻa pehea e kōkua ai i nā mea kōkua e pili ana i ka naʻau a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. E nānā iā lākou:
9. Manaʻo pū ka manawa ʻo "Quality"
ʻO ka hana ʻole ʻana i ka manawa no ʻoe, he pilikia, akā i kekahi manawa inā he manawa pū kou, ʻaʻole ia ka manawa maikaʻi e pono ai.
Mālama paha ʻo ia i ka hana o ka lā o ka pō, a i ʻole ʻoluʻolu mau ʻolua i ka Lāpule, akā maikaʻi paha kēlā manawa. A i ʻole manaʻo paha ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke kali no ka pau ʻana?
Inā he manaʻo e like me ka hoʻolilo ʻana i ka manawa me ʻoe he mea nui nona, pono paha ʻoe i ka manaʻo ʻana e ʻike nei ʻoe i nā hōʻailona ʻaʻole hoihoi kaʻu kāne iaʻu.
He aha e hana ai:
Inā paʻa ʻoe i kahi hana maʻamau, hoʻoluliluli a hana i kahi mea hou. Inā ua hoʻāʻo ʻoe i kēlā, a laila e nānā i ke kaiapuni.
ʻO kahi laʻana, hiki i ka hele wāwae lōʻihi ʻana ke hana i kahi manawa kūpono e hoʻohui ai. ʻOiai ke huki nei ke kamaʻilio ʻana, e leʻaleʻa nei i ka hele mālie me kekahi i kekahi ke hana i ka mālie a me ka manaʻo paʻa.
E hoʻāʻo hoʻi:He aha ka hewa me kaʻu kāne kāne Quiz
10. ʻAʻohe ʻo ia hoihoi a hoihoi pū paha me ʻoe
Inā ua hui pū ʻoe i mau makahiki, manaʻo paha ʻoe ua ʻike ʻoe i kāna mau makemake āpau, akā ʻo ʻoe? Hāʻawi ʻo ia i kāna mau manaʻo, manaʻo, a manaʻo paha me ʻoe? Ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia i kekahi mea āna e makemake ai e hoʻāʻo a aʻo paha?
ʻO kahi laʻana, inā he kanaka haʻuki ʻo ia, ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia i ka hana a kāna kime punahele? Inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e kaʻana like i kāna hoihoi a me kāna leʻaleʻa, he hōʻailona ia e hoʻokaʻawale iā ia iho.
He aha e hana ai:
Hiki iā ʻoe ke nīnau mau iā ia, akā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, inā hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i kahi mea hiki iā ʻolua ke hana pū.
Malia paha makemake ʻo ia i nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni weliweli, a hiki iā ʻoe ke kuhikuhi i kahi pō marathon. Pāʻani paha ʻo ia i ka pôpeku moemoeā, a hiki iā ʻoe ke noi iā ia e aʻo iā ʻoe e pili ana i ia. Hōʻike i ka hoihoi iā ia a kaʻana like i kāu ponoʻī. Hoʻomaopopo paha ʻoe e ʻike hou ana kekahi i kekahi.
11. ʻAʻole ia i hilinaʻi hou ʻia
ʻAʻole anei ʻo ia e hōʻike nei ke ʻōlelo ʻo ia? Hiki iā ʻoe ke hilinaʻi e noho ʻo ia ma laila no ʻoe ke pono? Ua pono ʻo ia e kiʻi iā ʻoe a poina?
He ʻoiaʻiʻo, pohihihi nā mea i ko mākou manaʻo i kekahi manawa, a hāʻule mākou i ka pōpō i kekahi manawa, akā inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e ukali a ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hilinaʻi iā ia, he hōʻailona kēia e nalowale ana kāna mea hoihoi.
He aha e hana ai:
E noi iā ia e kōkua iā ʻoe me kahi papahana a hana paha a hoʻopiha pū. E akāka he mea nui ia iā ʻoe a me kāu e noi nei mai iā ia. Ke hāʻawi nei iā ia i kahi "nīnau" maopopo a wehewehe i kāna mea nui iā ʻoe hiki ke kōkua i ka hoʻihoʻi i kāna nānā i kāu male.
12. Kāhea ʻo ia iā ʻoe i mau inoa
ʻO ke kāhea ʻana i nā inoa o kāu kāne (e like me ka maikaʻi ʻole, hū, a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ʻole) he ʻōlelo hoʻomāinoino waha. Ua hoʻololi paha ʻo ia i ke ʻano o kāna kamaʻilio ʻana iā ʻoe a iā ʻoe paha? Hōʻike ʻo ia iā ʻoe e mahalo a mālama iā ʻoe me ka hanohano?
ʻOiai i nā manawa o ka hakakā, pono ʻoe e mālama mau ʻia me kāu kāne.
He aha e hana ai:
Inā ʻike ʻoe ʻaʻole mahalo kāu kāne iā ʻoe a ma ka waha, ka naʻau, ka moekolohe, a me ka hoʻomāinoino kino, he mea nui e kiʻi ʻoe i waho no ke kōkua. He manaʻo maikaʻi mau ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa, a hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻohui pū me nā mea kākoʻo i hoʻomaʻamaʻa hiki ke hoʻolohe i kāu mau hopohopo a kaʻana like me kāu ʻike a me kāu waiwai.
Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i nā kumuwaiwai maikaʻi ma www.thehotline.org a kāhea paha
Kāhea iā 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
13. ʻAʻohe aloha ʻē aʻe
E mae paha ke aloha ma ke ʻano o ka male ma ke ʻano ʻoluʻolu o kekahi me kekahi, akā pono naʻe e hoʻoikaika ʻo ia e hoʻohoka iā ʻoe.
Inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e kūʻai i nā pua no kou lā hānau a hana paha i nā ʻōniu liʻiliʻi e hōʻike iā ʻoe ke mālama ʻo ia, hiki i kēia ke alakaʻi iā ʻoe e makemake ʻole i kāu kāne.
He aha e hana ai:
E kamaʻilio e ʻike i kahi e hele mai ai. Maliʻa paha ʻaʻole ia i ʻike ua hōʻoki ʻo ia i kahi hana. E haʻi i kāu kāne i ka nui o ke ʻano o ke aloha liʻiliʻi iā ʻoe. E hoʻāʻo paha ʻoe e alakaʻi i ka laʻana a ke hoʻāʻo nei e hōʻike i ke aloha iā ia.
14. ʻAʻole ʻo ia e nānā pū me ʻoe a puni ka lā.
E like paha kēia me kēlā me kēia kelepona a kamaʻilio kamaʻilio leka e pili ana i nā mea e pono ai i kēlā me kēia lā, e like me ka mea e ʻohi ana i ka ʻaina awakea a i ʻole e uku ʻia ka pila uila.
Inā aia kahi mea hoʻokalakupua ma waena o ʻolua, pono ke nānā pinepine kāu kāne e nīnau e pili ana i kāu lā a i ʻole e haʻi aku iā ʻoe ke noʻonoʻo nei iā ʻoe.
He aha e hana ai:
Ua lilo paha i mea maʻamau i waena o ʻolua. E hoʻāʻo i ka hana mua a hoʻouna iā ia i kahi leka i ka lā holoʻokoʻa e haʻi iā ia e noʻonoʻo ana iā ia a ʻike pehea kāna pane.
15. Ua huhū ʻo ia i nā mea āpau āu e hana ai.
Hāʻawi paha ʻoe i kahi manaʻo e hoʻāʻo i kahi mea like, a ʻolokaʻa ʻo ia i kona mau maka a haʻi paha iā ʻoe he naʻaupō ia, a ʻano hoʻonāukiuki paha ʻoe i kou alo. Inā ʻo kēia ka hihia, he hōʻailona paha ia o ka nalowale ʻana i ka wahine.
He aha e hana ai:
E kamaʻilio me ia a haʻi iā ia pehea e like ai me ka hoʻonāukiuki ʻia e ʻoe, a ʻike ʻoe he mea huhū ia. E hoʻāʻo e kiʻi i ke aʻa o ka pilikia e ʻike i ke kumu o kēia ʻano mai iā ia.
3 Nā kumu i makemake ʻole ai ʻo ia e ʻumeʻume
Inā ʻoe e ʻike i kekahi o nā hōʻailona ʻaʻole hoihoi ʻia kāu kāne iā ʻoe, e haʻohaʻo ana paha ʻoe no ke aha ua nalowale kāna ʻano hoihoi.
Hiki i kekahi mau kumu no kēia.
- Ke hana nei paha kāu kāne me ka hoʻoliʻiliʻi sex drive, a kū maoli ia me ka makahiki. Pono paha kēia e pono e hana i ka hoʻāʻo hou e noho aliʻi i ka huna ahi ma waena o ʻolua.
- ʻO kekahi kumu no ka nalowale o ka mea hoʻohihi hiki ke hoʻopili i ka kamaʻilio maikaʻi ʻole ma waena o ʻolua. Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe ma ka ʻaoʻao like a i ʻole ua nui ka hakakā, e hōʻole paha ka manaʻo psychological ma waena o ʻolua.
- E hoʻoliʻiliʻi paha ka mea hoʻohihi inā e ʻaʻa ana ʻoe me kou hilinaʻi ʻole. ʻAʻole paha ʻoe e manaʻo i kou maikaʻi, a i ʻole ʻaʻole ʻoe e mālama ana iā ʻoe iho. Ke maikaʻi ʻole ʻoe e pili ana iā ʻoe iho, hiki iā ia ke hoʻololi i ke ala a ka poʻe ʻē aʻe e ʻike ai iā ʻoe kekahi.
E hoʻāʻo hoʻi:Lawe kaʻu kāne iaʻu no ka quiz hāʻawi ʻia
Panina hopena
ʻO ka manaʻo makemake ʻole ʻia e kāu kāne hiki ke hōʻeha i ka ʻehaʻeha o ka naʻau. He mea nui e hoʻomanaʻo i kekahi manawa ʻoluʻolu mākou i kā mākou male a hāʻawi paha i nā leka a mākou e manaʻo ʻole ai.
Hiki i ke kuhi hewa ke hana i ka haunaele. No laila, he mea nui mau ka hana i ka hōʻike ʻana a me ka hoʻolohe ʻana i kāu kāne. ʻO nā kāne a i ʻole Family Therapy nā hopena maikaʻi e hoʻomaikaʻi a aʻo ai i nā mākau hou no kā mākou pilina.
He mea ʻole ke ala āu e hoʻoholo ai e hoʻāʻo, ʻo ka mea nui a pehea kou manaʻo e pili ana iā ʻoe iho. E hoʻolōʻihi i ka manawa e nānā iā ʻoe iho, a i kou kūkulu ʻana i kou hilinaʻi, e ʻike kāu kāne (a me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe!).