Anter
- He aha ka manaʻo o ka co-makua me kāu ex
- 1. Hoʻokumu i kahi ʻano paʻa
- 2. Palena ʻia a ʻaʻohe mākua
- 3. Kūmau
- 4. Noho i ʻohana
- He aha ka manaʻo o ka hana like ʻana i ka makua me kāu ex
- 1. Hoʻemi i ka hakakā me kāu ex
- 2. Nā kaila makua o kēlā me kēia
- 3. Hoʻokumu i kahi nohona maluhia
ʻO ia no ka pono ʻoi loa o kāu mau keiki na nā mākua ʻelua e kau mua i kā lākou mau pono. ʻAʻole maʻalahi kēia i ka hana ke hoʻokaʻawale a hoʻokaʻawale ʻia ʻoe mai kāu wahine aku.
No ka mea he nui, ʻo ka manaʻo o ka hānai ʻana i nā keiki me he hoaaloha lā ma hope o ka hemo ʻana he mea maikaʻi loa ia ʻaʻole ʻoiaʻiʻo. No nā kāne ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻole hiki ke noho i ka lumi like me he mea olakino ʻole kekahi. No laila, pehea e manaʻo ʻia ai e hui pū ka makua ma hope o ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana?
Ke ʻike nei i kahi ala e waiho ai i kāu ʻokoʻa a kālele nui i kāu mau keiki hiki ke lilo i mea paʻakikī, ʻoiai inā he maʻemaʻe kou mau manaʻo. ʻO nā pilikia o ka wā ma mua a me nā haunaele ʻē aʻe i ke ala o kou hiki ke makua pū.
Aia nā pōmaikaʻi i ka makua co-makua a me ka makua like. Ke nānā nei mākou i nā pōmaikaʻi a me nā maikaʻi ʻole o nā mea ʻelua i hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻoholo i ke ʻano kūpono no ʻoe a me kou ʻohana.
He aha ka manaʻo o ka co-makua me kāu ex
ʻO kekahi o nā ʻokoʻa nui loa ma waena o nā mākua a me nā mākua like ʻo ia ke co-makua, mālama ʻoe i kahi pilina me kāu ex. Hoʻoikaika kekahi e loaʻa kahi aloha maoli, ʻoiai e noho makaʻu wale ana kekahi me kekahi a kamaʻilio pinepine e pili ana i kā lākou keiki.
ʻAʻole nānā ka mau mākua i ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa a i ʻole ke ea ʻana i kāu ʻeha pili i hala. Kūleʻa lākou i ka noho a hoʻolohe i kā lākou keiki. Kū aʻe lākou i luna o ka inaina a lākou e manaʻo ai i kekahi i kekahi i mea e noho mau ai i mau hoa ma ka makua.
Nui nā keu pono o ka noho makua ʻana no kāu mau keiki ʻelua a ʻo ʻoe a me kāu ex.
1. Hoʻokumu i kahi ʻano paʻa
He mea paʻakikī ka nānā ʻana i ka hopena o ka male no nā keiki. Paipai ia i ke koʻikoʻi a hana i kahi ʻano hauʻoli. ʻO ka mea maikaʻi loa i hiki i nā mākua ke hana no kā lākou poʻe keiki i ka wā o ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana e hana i kahi ʻano ikaika o ka hana maʻamau a me ke kūpaʻa.
ʻO ka co-makua ma hope o ka pau ʻana o kahi pilina ka koho kūpono loa no ke keiki. Akā inā maopopo i kahi keiki ke kau mua nei nā mākua ʻelua i kā lākou mau pono, hana ia i kahi ʻano palekana.
Ma kahi o ka haehae ʻia ma waena o ʻelua mau mākua a i ʻole e manaʻo ana i ka pono e "koho i kahi ʻaoʻao" e hiki i kahi keiki ke mālama i kahi pilina pili a olakino me nā mākua ʻelua.
2. Palena ʻia a ʻaʻohe mākua
He hana hoʻohuli a makua ma waena o ke keiki a me ka makua. Ma kahi o nā mākua e mālama ana i nā manaʻo a me ke olakino o kā lākou keiki, e ulu ana kahi keiki o ka hemo ʻana i nā kuleana kūpono ʻole i ka ʻohana, e hoʻāʻo pinepine nei e hana ma ke ʻano he "peacemaker" ma waena o nā mākua.
Hōʻike nā haʻawina e ulu ana nā keiki e komo i ka mākua a lilo i mau mākua makemake ʻole iā lākou iho.
Ke ex-co-makua, hoʻohaʻahaʻa nui ʻia ka makaʻu o ka makua ʻana, no ka mea hiki i ke keiki ke ʻike i ka hana ʻana o ka ʻohana ma kahi kūlana olakino.
3. Kūmau
Kūlike nā mākua maikaʻi me kā lākou keiki. Haʻaheo lākou iā lākou iho i ka hānai ʻana i nā lula hale like, ka hoʻopaʻi, a me nā makana i kēlā me kēia ʻohana. Hoʻokumu kēia i kahi hana maʻamau a me ke ʻano o ke kūlike ʻole ma kahi o ke keiki e noho nei i kēlā pule.
Wahi a ka mea aʻo makua ʻo Michael Grose e pōmaikaʻi nā keiki mai ke kūlike ʻole i ko lākou ʻohana. Hoʻonohonoho nā mākua kūmau i nā palena a me nā palena, aʻo i ka lawena maikaʻi a hāʻawi i ka hanana. Ke hana pū nā mākua ma ke ʻano he kime a aʻo lākou i ke keiki ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke noi e noi i kahi mea a loaʻa i kahi pane ʻokoʻa mai kēlā me kēia makua.
4. Noho i ʻohana
ʻAʻole wale ka lawe makua ʻana i ke kaomi i kāu mau keiki, hōʻoia pū kekahi iā lākou ʻoiai ke kaʻawale nei ʻoe i kēia manawa, ʻohana nō ʻoe āpau.
Hōʻoia kēia i nā keiki ʻaʻole lākou e koho a koho i kahi e pau ai no nā lā nui a i ʻole nā hanana kūikawā a pehea e hoʻonohonoho ai i kā lākou male ponoʻī i kekahi lā mai (inā pono) ʻo ʻoe a me kāu ex a ke launa pū nei me he ʻohana, malia paha e hele nei huakaʻi a hoʻolauleʻa pū paha.
He aha ka manaʻo o ka hana like ʻana i ka makua me kāu ex
ʻAʻole maʻalahi ka launa ʻana o nā kōkua no nā kāne. ʻO nā ʻokoʻa i ka manaʻo e pili ana i nā pilikia nohona, hānai keiki, ka naʻau, nā pono, a me nā inaina i hala aku nei i kahi ex hiki ke loaʻa i ke ala o ka hana like.
ʻO kekahi o nā ʻokoʻa ma waena o nā mākua a me nā mākua like ʻo ia i ka wā o ka makua makua, he palena palena ko nā exes me kekahi. Kūkākūkā lākou kekahi i kekahi ma ka pae nui e pili ana i ka ʻike a me ka hoʻoholo ʻana o ke keiki, e launa ʻokoʻa ka ʻelua me ke kula a kā lākou keiki a me nā hoa aloha a e hana i kā lākou mau rula hale ponoʻī.
1. Hoʻemi i ka hakakā me kāu ex
Inā ua hele i waena o kahi male male i kahi male kipi nui, he mea ʻino paha i kēia manawa ke noho ke keiki i ka wā o ka pilina makua. Ke kūlike ka makua like ʻana, hiki i nā kāne a me ke kāne ke kaupalena ʻia.
2. Nā kaila makua o kēlā me kēia
Ke kūlike ʻoe me ka makua, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e pili i nā lula a nā exes a i ʻole nā ʻano mākua. ʻO kahi laʻana, haipule paha kāu ex akā ʻaʻole ʻoe hoʻomana. Ma ka loaʻa ʻana o kāu kaila ponoʻī a me nā lula o ka hale, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e mālama i ka hana maʻamau o ka lawe ʻana i kāu keiki i ka hale pule a i ʻole ka palapala ʻana i nā manawa hoʻopaʻa.
ʻOiai hiki ke huikau ka ʻokoʻa o nā kaila makua no kāu keiki, e aʻo koke lākou i nā ʻokoʻa ma waena o nā ʻohana ʻelua.
3. Hoʻokumu i kahi nohona maluhia
Inā hele mai ke keiki mai kahi home hakakā kiʻekiʻe, ka palena ʻana i ka launa ʻana o ke alo a he alo me kahi ex e hāʻawi paha i kā lākou keiki i kahi wahi maluhia e noho ai.
Hoʻopilikia ka pilikia i ka hauʻoli o ke keiki, a ʻo ka liʻiliʻi o ka hopohopo āu e hoʻolei ai i loko o kā lākou ola ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi.
ʻOiai ʻaʻole hana mau ka makua kūlike i ka nohona paʻa loa no kahi keiki i ka mua, i nā hihia kahi ʻaʻole hiki i nā exes ke hoʻokuʻi i ko lākou ʻokoʻa a mālama paha i ka pilina ʻenemi, ʻo ka makua makua like paha ke koho maikaʻi loa no ka hōʻemi ʻana i ke koʻikoʻi i nā keiki.
ʻAʻole maʻalahi ka makua me kahi ex. Mahalo, aia ma mua o hoʻokahi o nā koho i loaʻa no nā hoa kaʻawale e nānā ana e hānai i kā lāua mau keiki ma ke ala ʻoi loa. No nā mākua e launa a no ka poʻe hiki ʻole ke kū i loko o ka lumi like, ʻo ka noho makua a me ka makua like he koho maikaʻi loa ia no ka hānai ʻana i nā keiki ʻoiai hemo.