Anter
- 1. Hōʻike ia i ke oʻo
- 2. Hōʻike ia i ka mea a lākou e ʻōlelo ai he ʻoiaʻiʻo
- 3. Hōʻike ia i ke kuleana
- Nā pilikia hilinaʻi i ka pilina
- Ka paulele ʻole i ka paʻa o kāu aloha i kāu hoa
- Loaʻa iā mākou nā ikehu hou aku ke hilinaʻi loa
- Ke kāohi nei i ka hilinaʻi e hoʻoliʻiliʻi maikaʻi kou pilina
ʻO kaʻu akeakamai ka mea ʻo nā kia ʻelua kahi e kū ai ke aloha ʻo Trust a me ka Hoʻohanohano. He manaʻo nui loa kēia. Pono kēia mau mea ʻelua e ulu a mālama i ke aloha. ʻO kēia ke hilinaʻi i ka mea a mākou e pili nei a e mahalo mākou iā lākou, a i ʻole ma hope e hāʻule mākou i ke aloha me lākou.
ʻO ia kaʻu mea kākau punahele, ʻo Stephen King, nāna i kākau ʻo “ʻAʻole hele pū ke aloha a me ka wahaheʻe, ʻaʻole lōʻihi.” Pololei loa kā Mr. King. Kūkulu nā wahaheʻe a hoʻokahe i kahi hilinaʻi a hilinaʻi paha i loaʻa iā mākou i kā mākou hoa. Me ka hilinaʻi ʻole, aloha, ʻo ke aloha maoli, ʻaʻole hiki ke mau.
ʻO ka hilinaʻi ʻana i kekahi mea ke ʻōlelo lākou, "E hana ana wau i kekahi mea, ___________ (hoʻopiha i ka hakahaka)", e hana ana lākou. E ʻohi wau i nā keiki ma hope o ke kula, loaʻa kahi hana, hana i ka ʻaina awakea, a pēlā aku. ” Ke ʻōlelo lākou e hana lākou i kekahi mea, manaʻoʻiʻo wau ua hana lākou ia mea. Ke ʻōlelo wau "A" loaʻa ʻoe iā "A," ʻaʻole "B" a me "C." E loaʻa iā ʻoe kaʻu mea i ʻōlelo ai. ʻAʻole wale ia manaʻo e hilinaʻi mākou iā lākou a manaʻoʻiʻo e hana lākou i kekahi mea, aia kekahi mau leka ʻē aʻe i hoʻopili ʻia i kēia ʻano.
1. Hōʻike ia i ke oʻo
Inā pēpē kāu hoa hana a laila ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke maopopo inā e hana maoli lākou i kekahi mea ʻaʻole paha. Hana maoli nā mākua i ka mea a lākou e ʻōlelo ai. ʻO ka lua, ʻo ia ka hiki iaʻu ke lawe iā ia mai kaʻu papa inoa "e hana papa inoa" a ʻike e hana ʻia ana ia. He mea hoʻomaha kēia naʻu. ʻO ka mea hope loa, ʻo ia ka mea hiki iā mākou ke hilinaʻi i "kā lākou ʻōlelo." I kēia manawa i nā pilina, hiki ke hilinaʻi i kā mākou mau hoa "huaʻōlelo" nui loa. Inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hilinaʻi ʻia, a i ʻole inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hilinaʻi i kāu hoa e hana i kā lākou e ʻōlelo ai e hana lākou, a laila nīnau mākou i nā mea āpau. Mahalo mākou i nā mea āpau a mākou e noi ai iā lākou e hana. E hana lākou i ia? E hoʻomanaʻo paha lākou e hana? E hoʻonāukiuki paha wau iā lākou, a i ʻole gripe iā lākou e hana? Me ka hiki ʻole ke hilinaʻi i kā mākou hoa, lilo ka manaolana.
He mea nui ka manaʻolana i ka ʻike ʻana i ka wā e hiki mai ana me kā mākou hoa. Me ka lana ʻole o ka manaʻolana, lilo ka manaʻo optimism e ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o nā mea a pili mākou i ka pilina me ke kanaka makua, a i ʻole kekahi mea hiki ke lilo i ʻano hoa a makua hoʻi e pono ai mākou e ʻapo i ka hapalua o ka ukana. ʻAi ʻia mākou, a i ʻole e hana wale mākou i kahi hana o ka hānai ʻana i kā mākou poʻe keiki, ka holo ʻana i hale, ka uku ʻana i nā pila, a pēlā aku.
2. Hōʻike ia i ka mea a lākou e ʻōlelo ai he ʻoiaʻiʻo
ʻAʻole pili ka hilinaʻi i kā lākou e ʻōlelo ai e hana ana lākou. Hōʻike ʻia ia hiki ke hilinaʻi ʻia me kā lākou e ʻōlelo ai. Inā wahaheʻe ka poʻe, a inā paha lākou e hoʻolōʻihi i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo a hoʻonani paha, pili ka ikaika like. Inā haʻi wahaheʻe kā mākou keiki i 5% o ka manawa, a laila nīnau mākou i nā mea āpau. Nīnau mākou i nā 95% ʻē aʻe o nā mea a lākou e ʻōlelo ai. Lawe nui kēia i ka ikaika a ʻai i ka pili. Hoʻomaopopo ʻole ʻia kā mākou mau hoa a huhū paha ke ʻike lākou he 95% o ka manawa a lākou e ʻōlelo nei i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. Akā aia kahi ʻōlelo kahiko ma ka psychology, "ʻO ka pīhoihoi mai kahi hana a mākou e mākaukau ʻole ai a i kahi wā e maopopo ʻole ana i ka wā e hiki mai ana." He paʻakikī ke hoʻokumu i kahi pili lōʻihi ma ka maopopo ʻole o nā mea e hana nei a ʻaʻole paha e hana ʻia, e hilinaʻi nei i ka mea a haʻi e manaʻoʻiʻo ʻole ai iā lākou.
3. Hōʻike ia i ke kuleana
Manaʻo wau he kumu nui ʻē aʻe ka hilinaʻi nui i ka pilina ʻo ia ke kumu no kā mākou hiki ke haʻalele i ka ʻohana i ka hoʻomaka o kahi lā hana. Inā hilinaʻi wau i kaʻu hoa no ka mea kuleana lākou, ʻaʻohe oʻu makaʻu e hoʻopunipuni lākou iaʻu a i ʻole e moe kolohe ma waho o ka pilina. Inā ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hilinaʻi iā lākou i ko mākou ao maʻamau, pehea wau e paʻa ai i koʻu hilinaʻi ʻaʻole lākou e pili? Pono mākou e hilinaʻi i kā mākou mau hoa a i ʻole e makaʻu mau ana i loko o kā mākou unconscious e hoʻolālā paha lākou i kahi mea e hoʻoluliluli i koʻu ʻano palekana. ʻIke mākou inā ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke hilinaʻi i kā mākou hoa, ke wehe nei mākou iā mākou iho i ka ʻeha a i ʻole ka haʻihaʻi ʻia o ko mākou naʻau.
ʻAʻole wale ka pilikia o ka ʻike ʻole inā hiki iā ʻoe ke hilinaʻi i kāu hoa, aia ka pilikia holoʻokoʻa o ko lākou huhū ke manaʻo lākou ʻaʻole ʻoe e manaʻoʻiʻo iā lākou (no ka mea ʻo kēia manawa ke haʻi nei lākou i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo). ʻIke ʻole, alakaʻi kēia i ka hoʻohālikelike ma waena o kā lākou hana a me kā ke keiki. ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu ʻehia mau manawa i ka lōkō aʻu i lohe ai, “like me ʻekolu aʻu mau keiki.” ʻAʻohe mea e huhū i ke kāne a i ʻole ka wahine wikiwiki a i ʻole e hōʻino iā lākou ma mua o ka hoʻohālikelike ʻia i kahi keiki.
Nā pilikia hilinaʻi i ka pilina
ʻO ka hiki ke hilinaʻi he paʻakikī e hoʻomohala ma ke ʻano he makua. ʻO ko mākou hiki ke hilinaʻi ke aʻo ʻia ma ke ʻano kamaliʻi. Aʻo mākou e hilinaʻi i ka makuahine, ka makuakāne, kaikaina, a me nā kaikaina. A laila aʻo mākou e hilinaʻi i nā keiki ʻē aʻe i ke kaiāulu, a me kā mākou kumu mua. Ua aʻo mākou i ka hilinaʻi i kā mākou kalaiwa kaʻa, ka luna mua, kaikaina mua a wahine wahine paha. ʻO ia ke kaʻina o ka pehea a mākou e aʻo ai i ka hilinaʻi. Inā maopopo iā mākou ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke hilinaʻi i ko mākou makuahine a makua paha no ka mea ʻuhane, kino, a hoʻomāinoino ʻia mākou iā mākou, hoʻomaka mākou e nīnau inā hiki iā mākou ke hilinaʻi i nā mea āpau. ʻOiai ʻaʻole na ko mākou mau mākua e hoʻomāinoino mai iā mākou, inā ʻaʻole lākou e pale iā mākou mai ke kanaka, ʻanakala, makua kāne a me nā mea ʻino e hoʻomāinoino mai nei iā mākou, hoʻomohala mākou i nā pilikia hilinaʻi. Inā loaʻa iā mākou nā pilina mua e pili ana i ka kumakaia a me ka hoʻopunipuni, hoʻomohala mākou i nā pilikia hilinaʻi. Ke hiki kēia, hoʻomaka mākou e haʻohaʻo inā hiki iā mākou ke hilinaʻi. E hilinaʻi paha mākou? A i ʻole, e like me ka manaʻo o kekahi, ʻoi aku paha ka maikaʻi o ka lilo ʻana i mokupuni; kekahi mea ʻaʻohe pono e hilinaʻi a hilinaʻi paha i kekahi. ʻO kekahi mea ʻaʻole e ʻike ʻia i kekahi, ʻaʻole pono i kekahi mea mai kekahi, ʻaʻole hiki ke hōʻeha ʻia e kekahi. ʻOi aku ka palekana. ʻAʻole pono ʻoi aku ka ʻoluʻolu, akā ʻoi aku ka palekana. Eia nō naʻe, ʻo ka poʻe me nā pilikia hilinaʻi (a i ʻole mākou e kuhikuhi iā lākou i nā pilikia pili aloha) ʻiʻini no kahi pilina.
Ka paulele ʻole i ka paʻa o kāu aloha i kāu hoa
ʻO kekahi o nā kumu nui loa ʻo ka hilinaʻi he pilikia nui i ka pilina ʻo ia inā ʻaʻole mākou e hilinaʻi i kā mākou hoa hoʻomaka mākou e hoʻopaʻa i kahi hapa o ko mākou puʻuwai. Lilo mākou i kiaʻi. ʻO ka mea aʻu e haʻi pinepine aku ai i kaʻu mau mea kūʻai aku inā ʻaʻole mākou e hilinaʻi i kā mākou pakanā a hoʻomaka mākou e kāohi i kahi liʻiliʻi, kahi nui nui, a i ʻole kahi ʻāpana nui o ko mākou puʻuwai (10%, 30% a 50% o ko mākou puʻuwai) . ʻAʻole paha mākou e haʻalele akā hoʻolilo mākou i nā ʻāpana o kā mākou lā e noʻonoʻo nei "Pehea ka nui o kuʻu puʻuwai e paʻa nei au". Nīnau mākou "He aha inā wau e waiho iaʻu iho i loko o kā lākou mau lima a kumakaia lākou iaʻu?" Hoʻomaka mākou e nānā i nā hoʻoholo a lākou e hoʻoholo nei i kēlā me kēia lā, a hoʻohana i kēlā mau hoʻoholo e hoʻoholo inā e kāohi ana mākou i ka nui o ko mākou puʻuwai a i ʻole ka liʻiliʻi liʻiliʻi. Kuhi kēia i kā mākou paʻa i ke komo i ko mākou ao o loko, pehea mākou e ʻae ai iā mākou e mālama iā lākou, e hoʻolālā i kahi wā e hiki mai ana me lākou. Hoʻomaka mākou e hoʻomākaukau iā mākou iho no ka manawa e kumakaia ʻia kā mākou hilinaʻi. ʻAʻole makemake mākou e makapō a hopu ʻia me ka mākaukau ʻole. No ka mea ʻike mākou i kekahi pae hohonu inā ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke hilinaʻi iā lākou e ʻeha mākou. I mea e hōʻemi ai i kēia ʻano ʻeha e hiki mai ana a me ka hoʻāʻo e hoʻoliʻiliʻi i ka ʻeha. Hoʻomaka mākou e kāohi i ko mākou aloha, ko mākou mālama ʻana iā lākou. E lilo i kiaʻi. ʻIke mākou inā wehe mākou i ko mākou naʻau iā lākou a mālama iā lākou, paulele iā lākou, hiki iā mākou ke ʻeha. ʻO kēia kā mākou ala o ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻana i ka ʻeha. Makaʻu mākou i ka mea e hiki mai ana. Ke hiki mai kēlā lā makemake mākou e mālama a i ka kaohi o ka nui o ko mākou ʻeha. I ke kumu e hoʻoliʻiliʻi i ka manawa e luku ʻia ai mākou. ʻIke mākou pono mākou e noho ma laila no kā mākou poʻe keiki, e hoʻomau i ka hiki ke hana. ʻIke mākou inā palena mākou i ko mākou palupalu iā lākou, hiki iā mākou ke hōʻeha iki (a i ʻole ʻo ia ka mea a mākou e haʻi ai iā mākou iho).
Loaʻa iā mākou nā ikehu hou aku ke hilinaʻi loa
Akā mākou e moeʻuhane, i kahi pilina kahi a mākou e pono ʻole ai e kāohi i kekahi o ko mākou puʻuwai. ʻO kahi pilina kahi e hilinaʻi ai i kā mākou hoa me kā mākou hoihoi loa, me ko mākou naʻau. ʻO kahi kahi e hoʻolilo ʻole ai i ka ikehu i ka nānā ʻana i kā lākou ʻano o kēlā me kēia lā a me nā hoʻoholo e hoʻoholo ai i ka liʻiliʻi o mākou e wehe ai, pehea ka liʻiliʻi o ko mākou puʻuwai e makaʻu ai. Hoʻokahi mākou i hilinaʻi hilinaʻi iā lākou. ʻO kahi kahi e hiki ai i kā mākou ikehu ke hele i nā hana kūpono ma mua o nā mea pale pilikino.
He mea nui ka hilinaʻi no ka mea inā hiki iā mākou ke hilinaʻi iā lākou e paʻa i kā lākou ʻōlelo, hiki iā mākou ke hilinaʻi iā lākou me ko mākou naʻau. Hiki iā mākou ke hilinaʻi iā lākou me ko mākou aloha. Wehe mākou i ko mākou ao i loko iā lākou a lilo i mea maʻalahi no kēia. Akā inā lākou i hōʻike ʻaʻole hiki ke hilinaʻi ʻia me nā mea liʻiliʻi, a laila ʻike mākou e kāohi mākou i kahi nui kūpono o ko mākou naʻau.
Ke kāohi nei i ka hilinaʻi e hoʻoliʻiliʻi maikaʻi kou pilina
ʻAʻole paha a ʻike ʻole paha kā mākou mau hoa ua hoʻomaka mākou e hoʻopaʻa i kahi o ko mākou naʻau. A ma muli wale o ka paʻa ʻana o kekahi i kekahi o ko lākou puʻuwai ʻaʻole ia he kumu no ka hoʻolālā ʻana i ka haʻalele i kā lākou hoa kāne. ʻO ia wale nō ka hopohopo o kekahi kanaka e hele a weliweli paha ko lākou mau manaʻo, a hele mua lākou i kahi ʻano mālama pilikino. Ke hoʻomaka mākou e kāohi i kahi liʻiliʻi o ko mākou naʻau, hoʻomaka ka hapanui o ka poʻe e moemoeā e pili ana i ka haʻalele ʻana i kā lākou hoa kāne a pehea ka maikaʻi o ka noho ʻana me kekahi mea hiki iā lākou ke hilinaʻi. Ke kāohi ʻia ka nui o ko mākou puʻuwai, hoʻomaka kekahi e hana maoli i nā hoʻolālā contingency inā he kumakaia lākou. Eia hou, ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo ke haʻalele maoli lākou, akā makemake lākou e mākaukau inā pono.
Inā manaʻo ʻoe ua mamao kāu hoa, malia paha ua hiki i ka manawa e nīnau i ka nīnau ... Ke hilinaʻi nei ʻoe iaʻu? No ka mea inā "ʻaʻole" ka pane, a laila pono paha ʻoe e kamaʻilio me kahi loea e pili ana i ke kumu o kēlā.