Anter
- ʻAe i ke kuleana no kāu ʻāpana
- He aha e hana ai
- 1. E hōʻoia i ka hua o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo
- 2. Hōʻoia i kou manaʻo
- 3. E kala aku
- 4. Hana ʻoiaʻiʻo
- No ke aha he mea nui kēia
- 1. Kuhikuhi i ka neʻe ʻana i kahi hopena ʻelua
- 2. Kūleʻa i ka haʻalele male
Ua hana ʻoe i nā mea āpau e hiki ai ke hoʻoponopono i ka pilikia. ʻAʻohe mea e hana nei. ʻO ke kani ʻana o kou leo nui, ʻo ka liʻiliʻi o ka lohe ʻana o kāu wahine iā ʻoe. ʻO ka mea ʻoi aku ka hoʻonāukiuki ke waiho mau nei lākou i ka hewa iā ʻoe. A i ʻole ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, rehimana i nā hala a me nā kūleʻa i hala. Ua hōʻea ʻoe i kahi stalemate. Paʻa ʻoe, luʻuluʻu, ʻaʻole ʻoe ʻike i ka mea ʻē aʻe e hana ai.
Inā like ʻoe me ka hapa nui o ka poʻe, haʻalele paha ʻoe i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana. Haʻalele ʻoe i ka pilikia a lana ka manaʻo e hauʻoli ʻoe i ka lā aʻe. E like me ka mau o ka manawa e emi iho ai kou mau manaʻo ʻoi aku ka ikaika i ka manawa, a lilo i mea maʻalahi loa e nānā ʻole i ka pilikia i ka manawa e hele wale ai ia. A i ʻole ke lana nei kou manaʻo ʻaʻole ia ka nui o ka ʻaelike ma hope o nā mea āpau.
ʻO ka pilikia me kēia ʻaʻole maʻamau e hele. ʻO ka pilikia e pili ana i ka hopena o ka hakakā a waiho a hiamoe a hiki i kahi mea e hoʻomaka hou ai.
No laila pehea e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke hoʻolilo i kēia breakdown i breakthrough? He maʻalahi ka pane. Hoʻomaka ke ala e hiki ai i kahi breakthrough me ... ka ʻae ʻana i ke kuleana.
ʻAe i ke kuleana no kāu ʻāpana
E nānā i ke koʻikoʻi ma kāu ʻāpana. ʻAʻole ia he manaʻo e lawe i ka hewa āpau a i ʻole ke kala aku no nā mea āu i hana ʻole ai. ʻAʻole hoʻi ia he ʻaelike piha me kāu hoa. ʻO ka ʻona wale nō ia i kāu hāʻawi i ka pilikia e loaʻa nei, akā nui a liʻiliʻi paha ia hāʻawi.
He mea kōkua ke hoʻomanaʻo inā makemake ʻoe e hōʻea i kahi breakthrough i kāu hakakā, pono ʻoe e kau i kāu mau hana ka maikaʻi ma mua o ka pololei. I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē aʻe, mai poina i kāu pahuhopu hope loa - e hana ana ma o ka hakakā a me ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi male maikaʻi. ʻO kahi nīnau maʻamau a nā kākāʻōlelo male e nīnau ai, "Makemake ʻoe e pololei, a i ʻole makemake ʻoe e male?"
ʻAʻole ʻemi iki ka ʻae ʻana i ke kuleana me ka mea kūpono a hewa paha, a ʻoi aku ka mea e pili ana i ka hopena o ka pilina. Ke koho ʻoe e ʻae i ke kuleana no kāu ʻāpana, ke ʻōlelo nei ʻoe ma hope loa “ʻO wau pū me ʻoe, ʻaʻole kūʻē iā ʻoe. E nānā pū kāua i kēia. ” Hōʻike ia makemake ʻoe e ʻike i nā kiko o ka ʻaelike, no laila hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokokoke i kāu hakakā, ma ke ʻano he kime.
He aha e hana ai
Eia nā ʻanuʻu 4 e ʻae i ke kuleana e kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻolilo i kāu breakdown i breakthrough.
1. E hōʻoia i ka hua o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo
ʻOiai inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e kūlike me kahi hoʻopaʻapaʻa, hoʻopiʻi, a i ʻole nā manaʻo hoʻopiʻi e pili ana iā ʻoe, aia nō ma ka liʻiliʻi he hua o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo i ka mea i ʻōlelo ʻia. E hoʻohana kākou i ka laʻana mai kaʻu ʻatikala hope loa, "ʻO kahi hoʻololi liʻiliʻi i ke kamaʻilio hiki ke hana i kahi ʻano nui i kāu pilina."
"No ke aha ʻoe e hoʻonele ai i ka holoi holoi ?! Ke waiho mau nei ʻoe iaʻu no ka hakahaka, a ʻaʻole ʻoe e noʻonoʻo i ka luhi paha i ka hopena o ka lā. "
Kūʻē paha ʻoe iā ʻoe ʻaʻole loa hakahaka i ka mea holoi ipu a ʻo ʻoe kēlā mau E waiho iā ʻoe no kāu wahine e hakahaka. Akā he ʻoiaʻiʻo paha ma ka liʻiliʻi i kekahi manawa ʻaʻole ʻoe e noʻonoʻo nui e pili ana i ka luhi o kāu wahine i ka hopena o ka lā. ʻO ka mahalo ʻana i ka palaoa o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo e like me kēia.
"Pololei 'oe. ʻAʻole wau i ʻike pinepine i kou luhi ma ka hopena o ka lā. ”
Ma ka hana ʻana i kēia, ke hōʻoia nei ʻoe i ka manaʻo o kāu hoa a hōʻole i ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa.
2. Hōʻoia i kou manaʻo
He mea nui e haʻi i kou manaʻo i hiki i kāu pakanā ke hoʻomaka e hoʻomaopopo i kou manaʻo a hōʻoia ʻaʻole ʻoe e hoʻāʻo nei e hana i kahi ʻino.
ʻO kahi laʻana, “luhi pū wau i ka hopena o ka lā, a i kekahi manawa nui koʻu nānā ʻana i ka hoʻomaha ʻana ʻaʻole wau e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i nā mea āpau e pono ai e hana a puni ka hale. ʻAʻole wau i manaʻo e manaʻo ʻoe e like me kāu e hana ai i nā mea āpau. ”
3. E kala aku
ʻ saylelo wale, "E kala mai iaʻu." O ia wale nō! Kūlike ʻole i ka hilinaʻi nui, ke kala ʻana he hōʻailona o ka ikaika, ʻaʻole nāwaliwali. Mai hoʻowahāwahā loa i nā hopena ikaika i hiki i ke kala i ke kala ʻana i ka puʻuwai a me ka hōʻino ʻana i kahi hakakā.
4. Hana ʻoiaʻiʻo
PEHEA Kūkākūkā ʻoe i ka lawe ʻana i ke kuleana e loli nui. He mea nui ia e maoli ke hoʻohana i kēia mākau. E ʻike kāu wahine inā he naʻaupō ʻoe a i ʻole ke hele wale nei i nā neʻe. Inā hopu ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ka lawena i loko o nā manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole a hiki i kahi āu e hiki ʻole ai ke hōʻoia i kēia manawa, a laila hoʻomaha iki. E hāʻawi iā ʻoe iho i ka manawa e hoʻomaha a hāʻawi i ka noʻonoʻo pono i kāu ʻāpana i ka pilikia a me nā mea e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke kala me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.
No ke aha he mea nui kēia
ʻO kēia ke kumu o kēia mea-
1. Kuhikuhi i ka neʻe ʻana i kahi hopena ʻelua
Ke hōʻoia nei ʻoe i kāu wahine ma ka ʻike ʻana i ka palaoa o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo i kā lākou e ʻōlelo nei ke hāʻawi nei ʻoe i kahi manawa kūpono no ke kūkā kamaʻilio palekana. Ke manaʻo palekana ka poʻe e haʻi i ko lākou mau manaʻo a me ko lākou mau manaʻo, manaʻo pū lākou e palekana e hoʻolohe. Alakaʻi kēia i ka hoʻonui ʻana o ka mākaukau e hāʻawi a lawe i ka wā e pono ai a me kahi pahuhopu like o ka lanakila pū ʻana o ka hakakā. Hōʻike ka Gottman Institute, "Ma ka ʻike ʻana a empathizing ʻana me ka manaʻo o kāu hoa, e loaʻa paha iā ʻoe kahi hopena e hoʻohanohano ai i nā hoa ʻelua. ʻO ia ka mea huna. ”
2. Kūleʻa i ka haʻalele male
ʻO kekahi o nā ʻano maʻamau o ka male e alakaʻi i ka hemo ka pale ʻana. ʻO ka ʻaoʻao ʻē o ka pale ʻana ka hiki ke ʻae i ka kuleana. I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē aʻe, ʻo kaʻae ʻana i ke kuleana ka antidote i ka pale ʻana.
Ke hiki iā ʻoe ke maʻa i ka ʻae ʻana i ke kuleana no kāu ʻāpana i kāu mau pilikia male, ʻaʻole wale ʻoe e lele i ka holomua i mua o ka pale ʻana i kāu hakakā, akā e pale ikaika ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ka hemo male.