Anter
No laila he nui ka poʻe o mākou e moemoeā nei i nā manaʻo kupaianaha āpau o ke aloha aloha ʻana a ke kali nei me ka hopohopo e hāʻule nui i ke aloha me ke kanaka a mākou e makemake ai e hoʻolilo i ko mākou ola. Hoʻokani pū nā mele aloha a me nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni i ka hoʻoulu ʻana i ka iini nui i loko o mākou. ʻO ka poʻe he nui i ke aloha me he mea lā ola a ʻoliʻoli hoʻi a makemake mākou i kēlā i ko mākou ola pū kekahi.
No mākou o ka mea i loko o ka male a i ʻole i ka pilina no kekahi mau makahiki i kēia manawa, he mau kāne a he mau hoa paha mākou a mākou e aloha nui ai a mālama nui ai? Inā ʻae, a laila a pehea hea kēlā mau mana hoʻokalakupua o ke aloha? Pehea ʻoe e wehewehe ai i ke aloha? ʻO ka mea mua āu e pono ai e ʻike ma mua o ka wikiwiki ʻana i ka hoʻonohonoho ʻana no ka male ʻana ʻaʻole ia ma ke aloha wale nō. Ma ka ʻokoʻa i kēlā mau moʻolelo a pau a mākou e ʻike ai, lohe ai heluhelu ai ʻole ke aloha ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo.
He aha ke aloha?
Pono mākou e lawe i kahi manawa e noʻonoʻo ai i kā mākou ʻike ponoʻī o kēia manaʻo. ʻIke mākou āpau i nā manaʻo ikaika o ka hoʻokalakupua, ʻo kēia mau manaʻo e piʻi i luna a i lalo, ma aneʻi i kēia manawa a hala i ka lā aʻe. He ʻeha a huikau paha kēia. A no laila, ʻike pinepine mākou iā mākou iho e nīnau ana i kekahi mau nīnau maʻamau e like me:
- He aloha ʻiʻo anei kēia?
- Hiki paha iaʻu ke aloha i kahi kanaka aʻu i ʻike ʻole ai?
- Ua hāʻule pono mākou i ke aloha?
- Aloha au i kaʻu wahine a mālama iā lākou, no ke aha wau i hauʻoli ʻole ai e pili ana iā ia i kēia manawa?
- Ke aloha nei paha wau?
Nui nā nīnau i ka wā e loaʻa ai ke aloha, weliweli nā pane i nā manawa he nui a hoʻāʻo mākou e pani i kēia mau manaʻo. ʻOiai inā mākou e hoʻolālā e hana i kēlā, aia paha he ʻano kaumaha kaumaha e waiho ana, ʻoi aku ke ʻano o ka nalo ʻana o kekahi mea. ʻO ka mea i nalo ma aneʻi paha ka ʻike pololei o ke aloha, ʻoiaʻiʻo.
E like me kāu e ʻike ai, he kuewa wale nā manaʻo a pēlā, ʻoi aku ke aloha ma mua o ka manaʻo wale nō. Wahi a psychologists, wehewehe lākou i ke aloha ma ke ʻano he koho, hoʻoholo a hana paha. Eia nō naʻe, e like me ka psychology pili kaiaulu, like ke aloha me kahi hui o nā ʻano, nā manaʻo, a me nā ʻike. I mea e ʻike ai i ke aloha ma ke ʻano ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, eia ke nānā aku i ke ola maoli i kūʻē i nā moʻolelo kaʻao mai kekahi poʻe loea e like me kēlā mau e hoʻolauleʻa i nā hanana ka mea e ʻike ai i nā kāne mai kahi kokoke ke hoʻonohonoho lākou i nā wahi male a me nā kumuhana.
Pili pili: Nā Hōʻailona Nani o ke Aloha Mai Ke Au Kahiko
ʻO Passionate vs. Aloha hoa
ʻO ka manawa pinepine, kokoke mākou i kā mākou hapalua ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi a i ʻole he hoa ola ke "hāʻule nui mākou i ke aloha" a i ʻole "ʻike i ke aloha". ʻO kēia hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ka hāʻule ʻana o ke aloha e pili pū ana me ka hopena maoli a me ka hopena o ka naʻau i kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe. Ke hiki mai kēia, ʻike paha mākou i kā mākou poʻe i aloha ʻokoʻa i ka ʻokoʻa, ʻo ia hoʻi ke ʻike iā lākou ma ke ʻano he "hemolele", a hoʻomālamalama i ko lākou maikaʻi a hoʻokuʻu i kā lākou mau hewa āpau me he mea nui ʻole. ʻO ke aloha Passionate he ikaika a kūpono ʻole ia.
Eia naʻe, ʻo nā ʻano aloha ʻē aʻe hiki ke hoʻolōʻihi. ʻO ke aloha hoa aloha kekahi kumu aloha ma ke ʻano he kumu, me nā hoihoi like, ka ʻumeʻa like ʻana, ka mahalo a me ka hopohopo no ka pono o kekahi. ʻAʻole paha he mea pīhoihoi kēia e like me ke aloha aloha, akā, he ʻano nui ia o ka pilina paʻa a ʻoluʻolu hoʻi.
ʻO ka hapa nui o mākou e hoʻohālikelike i nā manaʻo aloha a aloha paha me ke aloha. I ka wā lōʻihi, hoʻomaka paha nā kāne male e haʻohaʻo i ka mea i hana ʻia i nā manaʻo o ke aloha.ʻO ka noho pū ʻana pū kekahi me nā hana o ka home he lehulehu, e hele ana i ka hana, hoʻopau ʻana i nā papa inoa, a me ka uku ʻana i nā bila. Eia naʻe, ʻaʻohe o kēia mau mea, keu, hoʻonāukiuki i kekahi ʻano hoihoi a i ʻole aloha i waena o nā kānaka. Hoʻokumu maʻalahi ke aloha hoa pilikino i ka ʻike maikaʻi ʻana i kā mākou hoa a me mākou iho.
Pehea e ulu ai ke aloha i ka male
ʻO ke olakino o kāu pili lōʻihi lōkia i ka maikaʻi e hōʻike ai i kou aloha a me kou hopohopo no kāu hoa. ʻO kahi laʻana, inā hele ka wahine a me kahi kāne i kahi kīʻaha kope, ʻaʻole pono lākou e ʻike i kekahi ʻano naʻau e like me ka ʻike i ke aloha aloha. Akā, hauʻoli lākou i ka manawa a lākou e noho pū ai a hoʻomōhala i ka hohonu o ka naʻau a me ka noʻonoʻo ma o ka ʻike maikaʻi ʻana kekahi i kekahi ma o nā kamaʻilio kamaʻilio ʻana.
I loaʻa ke aloha hoa i kāu male, pono ʻoe e hoʻopau i ka hoka a me ka ʻeha e hana pinepine ʻia ma o nā manaʻo pololei ʻole a ʻole maoli paha e pili ana i ke aloha. ʻO ke kūkulu ʻana i ka pilina i loko o ka male i hiki ke koi i nā hana a me ka hoʻolālā ʻana o ka manawa.
Pono ʻoe e ʻike ʻaʻole hiki mai kahi pilina a maʻalahi ke ʻike ʻana i ke aloha e kū mau i ke ola holoʻokoʻa he pilikia. He mea ia e koi ai i ka nui o ka hakakā manawa a me ka nui o nā kūlike ʻole i ka loaʻa ʻana o ka mea hemolele. Hoʻokumu ʻia kahi male kūleʻa i ka maopopo a me ka maikaʻi o ka ʻapo ʻana o ʻolua i kāu mau kīnā ʻole, ʻae i nā hemahema o kekahi, mahalo i kekahi i kekahi. E hāʻawi kēia iā ʻoe i kahi manawa kūpono aʻe i ka noho ʻana i ke ola hauʻoli me ka mau loa!