Anter
- Mai hana hou i kāu mau hewa i hala i ke ola
- Mai kauō i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe i kāu hana keaka
- 1. E hoʻomanawanui ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana
- 2. E kali ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka pilina ma hope o ka haʻalele ʻana
- 3. Hana me ke kākāʻōlelo, kuhina, therapist, kumu aʻo ola
- 4. Pono ʻoe e hana ma ke kala ʻana
- 5. Lawe i ka manawa e hōʻola ai ma mua o ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana
ʻO ka haʻalele ka hope loa: i kēia manawa, pehea ka lōʻihi o kou kali a hiki i kou komo ʻana i ka honua o ka pili aloha ma hope o ka hemo ʻana? Hiki i ka leka i kēia lā. ʻO ka hope loa. Ua haʻalele male ʻia ʻoe. No laila, i ka manawa hea e hoʻomaka ai ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana?
ʻOiai i loko o ʻeono mau mahina a i ʻeono mau makahiki, aia i mua ou nā palapala a he kāne manuahi ʻoe a wahine paha. No laila, pehea ka lōʻihi āu e kali ai a hiki i ka lā ma hope o ka hemo ʻana?
Hauʻoli e hoʻi hou i ka honua o ka pili? Ua aloha anei ʻoe?
No nā makahiki 28 i hala iho nei, ke kōkua nei ʻo David Essel i kahi mea kākau maikaʻi loa, kūkākūkā a me ka mea aʻo ola ʻo David Essel i nā kāne a me nā wahine e hoʻololi i kahi male i hoʻokaʻawale ʻia i kahi mea i haʻalele ʻia.
Ma lalo, ua kamaʻilio ʻo David e pili ana i ka manawa a mākou e kali ai, ma mua o ka luʻu ʻana i ka honua o nā pilina a kiʻi i kā mākou lā mua ma hope o ka hemo.
"Ua hele mai i loko o koʻu keʻena me ka pīhoihoi. Ua kaʻawale ʻo ia no hoʻokahi makahiki, e hele ana ka male male no kekahi manawa, akā ua hālāwai ʻo ia me ke kāne o kāna mau moemoeā.
ʻO ka pilikia wale nō? ʻAʻole mākaukau ʻo ia a ʻike ʻole pehea e lā ai ma hope o ka hemo ʻana?
No laila ua pāʻani ʻo ia i ka pāʻani pōpoki a me ka iole. Ua hina ʻo ia i ke poʻo ma luna ona, akā ua hina hou ʻo ia i loko o kona maluhia o ka mākaukau ʻole e hilinaʻi i nā kāne ma hope o ka hana a kāna kāne mua iā ia.
He pōʻino maʻamau kaʻu i ʻike ai i kaʻu hana no nā makahiki 28 i hala iho nei. ʻO ka mea i ʻike ʻole ʻia e ka wahine hemo ka loaʻa ʻana o ke aloha ma hope o ka hemo ʻana ʻaʻole maʻalahi ma ke ʻano he kani. Hele mua nā kāne a me nā wahine i ka honua o ke aloha a hoʻomaka i ka pili aloha ma hope o ka hemo ʻana ma mua o ka mākaukau maoli, a no ka hapa nui o lākou, ma mua o ka hopena o ka hemo.
Mai hana hou i kāu mau hewa i hala i ke ola
ʻO ka launa pū ʻana ma hope o ka hemo a me ke aloha ʻana ma hope o ka hemo ʻana, hiki i nā mea ʻelua he hewa nui a hewa ʻole hoʻi. A inā ʻoe e hana i kēia, aia kahi 99.9% loaʻa paha ʻoe i kāu mau hewa i hala i ke ola, a pili i kekahi mea like me kāu kāne ma mua a i ʻole wahine mua, no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻoe i hoʻomaʻemaʻe i ka wā i hala.
ʻO kahi laʻana o ka pilina koʻikoʻi mua i hoka ma hope o ka hemo ʻana:
Ua hāʻule wau i loko o kēia pahele.Ma mua o 10 mau makahiki i hala aku nei, ua ʻike wau i ke aloha me kahi wahine nāna i haʻi mai iaʻu ua hemo ʻo ia, aia wale nō e ʻike ai i ʻekolu mau mahina ma hope mai i koʻu lohe ʻana i kahi kamaʻilio me ia a me kāna loio ma ke kelepona, ua kaʻawale ʻo ia no ʻelima mau makahiki a me ka hemo ʻaʻole ma kahi e ʻike ʻia ai.
ʻAʻole hiki iā lākou ke ʻike i nā mea kālā e pili ana i ka hoʻokaʻawale a i ʻole ka hemo.
I kuʻu alo ʻana iā ia i kona iho ʻana mai ke kelepona, ua ʻae ʻo ia ʻaʻole ʻo ia i haʻi iaʻu i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.
I kēia manawa ua kūpono ia, ka haunaele mau a me ka hana keaka ma waena ona a me aʻu, kona hiki ʻole ke hilinaʻi iaʻu a ʻoiaʻiʻo pū me aʻu.
A ʻae, ua pau ka pilina ma ia manawa.
No laila, e pane i ka nīnau, 'i ka manawa hea e hoʻomaka ai ka pili aloha ma hope o ka hemo ʻana? ka launa pū ʻana no ka pilina koʻikoʻi. Nā hoaaloha me nā pono? ʻAʻohe kaula pili pili?
Mai kauō i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe i kāu hana keaka
ʻOiaʻiʻo inā makemake ʻoe e hele i kēlā ala, akā mai kauō i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe i kāu hana keaka a hiki i kou wā hemo a hoʻomaka paha i ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana, a laila ma hope o kēlā, e kamaʻilio wau e pili ana ma lalo, no ka mea pono ʻoe i ka manawa. ʻo ʻoe iho.
ʻO kahi laʻana o ke ola ma hope o ka haʻalele no nā kāne:
ʻO kekahi mea kūʻai aku aʻu i hana pū ai mai Australia, ua hoʻopili mai iaʻu ma hope o ka haki loa ʻana o kona puʻuwai me kahi kāne āna i aloha ai.
Ua hana ke kāne i ka hewa o ka pili aloha ma hope o ka haʻalele ʻana. Ua kaʻawale ʻo ia no ʻekolu mau makahiki, ua pili lāua no ʻelua mau makahiki, a i ka lā ma hope o ka loaʻa ʻana o nā pepa hemo hope loa i ka leka ua kāhea ʻo ia iā ia a haʻi iā ia he pono ka manawa e kaʻawale ai.
ʻO ka hoʻokaʻawale a me ka hemo i lilo i mea nui ma luna ona, makemake wale ʻo ia e pāʻani i ke kahua a ʻaʻole i loko o kahi pilina paʻa.
ʻIke paha ʻoe i nā lauana ma aneʻi? Inā ʻoe e heluhelu ana i kēia a hoʻokaʻawale ʻia ʻoe a manaʻo ʻoe he ʻokoʻa ʻoe ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe āpau ... Eia kahi pūʻiwa nui, ʻaʻole ʻoe.
Nui nā hana e hana ai ma hope o ka hāʻawi ʻia ʻana o nā pepa, e hoʻolaha ana he kū kānāwai ka male male ma mua o ka paipai ʻana e hele kekahi i ka honua o ka pili aloha ma hope o ka hemo ʻana.
E nānā i nā lula
No laila e nānā i kā mākou mau lula ma lalo e hoʻohana ai mākou me nā mea kūʻai aku āpau e makemake e mākaukau, mākaukau a hiki ke hoʻi i loko o ka pāʻani o ke aloha a hoʻomaka i ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana.
1. E hoʻomanawanui ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana
Inā hoʻokaʻawale ʻoe, mai lawe i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe i kāu chaos a me kāu hana keaka a hoʻomaka hou paha i ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana. Aia ʻoe ma kahi kaʻa wili e hana ai ʻoe i kahi disservice maikaʻi loa i kekahi āu e lawe pū ai me ʻoe. Kali
E hoʻomanawanui. A i ʻole inā pono ʻoe, e hoʻopono me nā poʻe e pili ana i kou hiki ʻole ke noho i kahi pilina monogamous a haʻi iā lākou makemake wale ʻoe e leʻaleʻa. ʻAʻohe oʻu manaʻo inā ʻo ia ka mea āu e makemake ai e hana, akā mai komo i kahi pilina ma hope o ka hemo.
2. E kali ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka pilina ma hope o ka haʻalele ʻana
E ʻōlelo mākou ua hoʻokaʻawale ʻia ʻoe, me ka mana ʻole, ʻo ka mokuʻāina āu e noho ai i hoʻouna aku ai iā ʻoe i nā palapala e hōʻike ana he kāne manuahi ʻoe a / a wahine paha.
No laila, pehea ka lōʻihi e kali ma hope o ka hemo ma mua o ka pili? E kakali i hoʻokahi makahiki ma mua o kou aloha nui ʻana i kekahi.
Lohe paha wau e like me kou makuahine a makuakāne paha? ʻĀ, inā hana wau, ʻo ia wale nō akamai lākou e like me gehena.
Ma kahi o 365 mau lā o ka noho male ʻana, e hele ana i kou lā hānau, nā lā nui a me nā mea āpau āpau iā ʻoe e ʻike ai i ke ʻano o ke aloha aloha iā ʻoe iho.
ʻO ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana, ʻoiai ma mua o kou mākaukau, he mea hoʻonāukiuki loa ia nāu e noʻonoʻo ai i ka mea i hewa i kāu pili hope, ka mea i hele pono, nā mea āu e pono ai e hoʻokuʻu, i nā mea āu e paʻa ai.
Inā makemake ʻoe e hoʻohana i ka launa pū me kahi mea hoʻowalewale no ka mehameha, ka palekana ʻole, ka luhi a i ʻole nā mea ʻē aʻe, ke hana hou nei ʻoe i mea hōʻino nui iā ʻoe iho a me nā mea ʻē aʻe āu e lawe pū nei i loko o kāu pākahi pilikino me ʻoe.
3. Hana me ke kākāʻōlelo, kuhina, therapist, kumu aʻo ola
Hana pū me kahi kākāʻōlelo, kuhina, mea hoʻopōla, kahu aʻo ola pili i ʻike i ka mea a ka pō e hana nei e ʻike ai i nā hewa a "āu" i hana ai i kāu male ma mua. Mai hopohopo e pili ana i nā hewa a kāu hoa i hana ai i kēia manawa, e kia iā ʻoe.
Ke hiki iā ʻoe ke kāhea iā ʻoe iho no nā hewa āpau āu i hana ai, ke hele nei ʻoe i ka hōʻola a mākaukau hoʻi no ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana.
4. Pono ʻoe e hana ma ke kala ʻana
Me kēia ʻoihana, pono ʻoe e hana ma ke kala ʻana iā 100%, ʻo ia ka 100% kala ʻana no nā mea a kāu hoa hana mua i hana ai. Ua hoʻopunipuni anei lākou iā ʻoe? Wahaheʻe iā ʻoe? Hana hoʻomāinoino iā ʻoe i ka naʻau a i ʻole ke kino? Kumakaia oe?
Aia a hana ʻoe me kahi ʻoihana a hoʻomaʻemaʻe i kāu huhū āpau, ʻo ka hapa nui o lākou nā hōʻoia huhū, ʻaʻole ʻoe e hilinaʻi i kāu hoa hou.
E ʻeha ana ʻoe i ka hoki i kekahi āu e aloha ai no ka mea e lawe ʻia i mua kou aloha ʻole.
ʻO nā mea kūʻai aku he nui aʻu i hana pū ai, ua hoʻopaʻa mua i kā mākou ʻōnaehana, me ka noʻonoʻo ʻole hiki iā lākou ke noho ma o lākou iho no hoʻokahi makahiki.
5. Lawe i ka manawa e hōʻola ai ma mua o ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana
Ua hoʻonohonoho mua ka hapa nui o kaʻu mau mea kūʻai aku i nā pilina rebound ma mua o ko lākou kaʻawale ʻana, a i ka wā o ka kaʻawale ʻana, a i ʻole ma hope pono o ka hāʻawi ʻia ʻana o nā pepa hemo ua ʻike ko lākou maka i kekahi e hoʻopiha i ka ʻole. ʻO ka ʻole o ka noho hoʻokahi. Heʻoiaʻiʻo kēia e pili ana i ka hapa nui o nā kāne a me nā kāne e pili ana ma hope o ka hemo ʻana.
Mai hāʻule i loko o kēia pahele! No laila, pehea e hoʻomaka ai i ka pili aloha hou ma hope o ka hemo a pehea ka lōʻihi e kali ai ma mua o ka pili hou? ʻOiaʻiʻo, aia kekahi mau lula pili aloha ma hope o ka hemo ʻana no nā kāne a me ka wahine e ukali ai.
Pono ʻoe e lawe i nā manawa āpau āu e pono ai e hoʻōla. Inā he keiki kāu? E kuʻu Akua, malia paha e hala i hoʻokahi makahiki a me ka hapa a ʻelua paha mau makahiki. Makemake ʻoe e lilo i kumu hoʻohālike maikaʻi i ko lākou ola.
Inā loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi puka kipi o ka pili aloha ma hope o ka hemo ʻana, kahi mea hoʻokahi no nā mahina he nui ... A laila kahi kanaka ʻē aʻe ... Ke hoʻouna nei ʻoe iā lākou i kahi leka āu e makemake ʻole ai e ʻike lākou: ʻo ka makaʻu i ka noho hoʻokahi. ʻoi aku ka nui ma mua o ka makaʻu o ka hoʻokumu ʻia i lalo.
ʻIke wau i ka mea i luna aʻe no ka hapanui o ʻoukou e huhū aku iā ʻoukou, a ua maikaʻi. ʻO nā mea hoʻonāukiuki iā mākou ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.
Ma ka lima ʻē aʻe, inā ʻae ʻoe i ka mea i luna? Maikaʻi nou. E kōkua i kēia manawa. No laila hiki iā ʻoe ke nānā i mua i kahi pilina weliweli i ka wā e hiki mai ana, ke hoʻomaka ʻoe i ka pilina ma hope o ka hemo ʻana.
Ua kākoʻo nui ʻia ka hana a David Essel e nā poʻe e like me ka hala ʻo Wayne Dyer, a ua ʻōlelo ka mea kaulana ʻo Jenny McCarthy "ʻO David Essel ke alakaʻi hou o ka neʻe noʻonoʻo maikaʻi."
ʻO kāna puke 10, kahi helu helu ʻē aʻe i loaʻa kahi mokuna piha e pili ana i ke aloha hohonu, a ua kapa ʻia ʻo "Focus! Pepehi i kāu mau pahuhopu ... Ke alakaʻi i hōʻike ʻia i ka kūleʻa nui, kahi ʻano ikaika a me ke aloha hohonu. "