Anter
- 1. E neenee ana ʻoe
- 2. E lilo ʻoe i loea i ka hana ʻana i mau hoaaloha hou
- 3. Paʻakiki ka loli i nā keiki
- 4. ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o ka hana kūpono ma nā ʻano o ka ʻoihana paʻakikī no ka wahine pūʻali koa
- 5. ʻOi aku ka kiʻekiʻe o nā helu male ma waena o nā kāne koa
- 6. He ʻokoʻa ke koʻikoʻi o ka wahine koa i ka wahine koa
- 7. Loaʻa iā ʻoe nā kumuwaiwai olakino maikaʻi ma kou manamanalima
- 8. ʻAʻole paʻakikī ka lilo ʻana i wahine koa
Loaʻa i kēlā me kēia male ka ʻāpana o nā pilikia, keu hoʻi ke hōʻea nā keiki a ulu ka ʻohana. Akā he mau pilikia kū hoʻokahi ko ka poʻe koa pūʻali koa, a ʻoi nā pilikia e kū pono i mua: ka neʻe pinepine ʻana, ka hoʻonohonoho ʻana o ka hoa hana hana, pono e hoʻomaʻamaʻa mau a hoʻonohonoho i nā hana maʻamau i nā wahi hou (ʻo ka manawa pinepine nā moʻomeheu hou inā hoʻololi ka hoʻonohonoho i nā ʻāina ʻē) ʻoiai ke mālama ʻana i nā kuleana ʻohana kuʻuna.
Ua kamaʻilio mākou i kahi hui o nā kāne a ka pūʻali koa i kaʻana like i kekahi o nā pōmaikaʻi a me nā maikaʻi ʻole o ka male ʻana i kekahi lālā o nā lawelawe kaua.
1. E neenee ana ʻoe
Ua male ʻo Cathy i kahi lālā o ka US Air Force: "Ua neʻe ko mākou ʻohana i ka awelika o kēlā me kēia 18-36 mahina. ʻO ia hoʻi ka lōʻihi o ko mākou noho ʻana ma kahi hoʻokahi ʻekolu mau makahiki. Ma kekahi ʻaoʻao, maikaʻi ia no ka mea makemake wau i ka ʻike i nā wahi hou (he keiki koa wau, naʻu iho) akā i ka ulu ʻana o ka nui o ko mākou ʻohana, ʻo ia wale nō ka nui o nā loina e mālama ke hiki mai ka manawa e ʻūlū a hoʻoili. Akā hana wale ʻoe ia, no ka mea, ʻaʻohe ou koho. ”
2. E lilo ʻoe i loea i ka hana ʻana i mau hoaaloha hou
Ua haʻi ʻo Brianna iā ia e hilinaʻi ʻo ia i nā ʻohana ʻohana ʻē aʻe e kūkulu i kāna pūnaewele hou o nā hoaaloha ke hoʻoneʻe ʻia kona ʻohana i kahi kahua koa hou. "I loko o ka pūʻali koa, aia kahi ʻano o ka" Wagon Welcome "i kūkulu ʻia. Hele mai nā ʻohana ʻē aʻe i kou hale me nā meaʻai, nā pua, nā mea inu anuanu ke neʻe ʻoe i loko. Maʻalahi ke kamaʻilio ʻana no ka mea hoʻokahi a mākou mea like: mare mākou i nā lālā lawelawe. No laila ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e hana i nā hana he nui e hana ai i mau hoa aloha hou i kēlā me kēia manawa neʻe ʻoe. He mea maikaʻi kēlā. Hoʻokomo koke ʻia ʻoe i loko o ka pōʻai a loaʻa i nā poʻe e kākoʻo iā ʻoe ke pono ʻoe, e laʻa, i kekahi e nānā i kāu poʻe keiki no ka mea pono ʻoe e hele i ke kauka a i ʻole pono i kahi manawa iā ʻoe iho. "
3. Paʻakiki ka loli i nā keiki
"Maikaʻi wau i ka neʻe mau ʻana," haʻi ʻo Jill iā mākou, "akā ʻike wau he paʻakikī nā keiki i ka haʻalele ʻana i kā lākou mau hoa aloha a hana i nā mea hou i kēlā me kēia makahiki." ʻOiaʻiʻo, paʻakikī kēia no kekahi mau keiki. Pono lākou e maʻa iā lākou iho me kahi hui o nā malihini a me nā kāhuna maʻamau i ke kula kiʻekiʻe i kēlā me kēia manawa a lawe ʻia ka ʻohana. Hana kekahi mau keiki i kēia me ka maʻalahi, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ka manawa o kekahi. A ʻo nā hopena o kēia ʻano loli mau - hiki i kekahi mau keiki koa ke hele a 16 mau kula like ʻole mai ka papa mua a hiki i ke kula kiʻekiʻe - hiki ke manaʻo ʻia a lilo i makua.
4. ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o ka hana kūpono ma nā ʻano o ka ʻoihana paʻakikī no ka wahine pūʻali koa
"Inā e huki ʻia ʻoe i kēlā me kēia mau makahiki ʻelua, e hoʻopoina e pili ana i ke kūkulu ʻana i kahi ʻoihana i kāu wahi o ka loea", i ʻōlelo ʻo Susan, ua male ʻia me kahi Kolona. "He luna kiʻekiʻe wau ma kahi ʻoihana paʻa IT ma mua o koʻu male ʻana iā Louis," hoʻomau ʻo ia. "Akā i ka manawa a mākou i male ai a hoʻomaka i ka hoʻololi ʻana i nā kahua pūʻali koa i kēlā me kēia mau makahiki ʻelua, ua maopopo iaʻu ʻaʻole makemake kekahi ʻoihana e hoʻohana iaʻu ma kēlā pae. ʻO wai e makemake e hoʻopukapuka i ke aʻo ʻana i kahi luna ke ʻike lākou ʻaʻole lākou e kokoke no ka wā lōʻihi? ” Ua hoʻomaʻamaʻa hou ʻo Susana ma ke ʻano he kumu i hiki iā ia ke hoʻomau i ka hana, a ua ʻike ʻo ia i kēia manawa i ka hana i ke aʻo ʻana i nā keiki o nā ʻohana koa i nā kula ʻoihana o ka Puʻukaua. "Ma ka liʻiliʻi e hāʻawi ana wau i ka loaʻa kālā o ka ʻohana," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia, "A maikaʻi koʻu manaʻo e pili ana i kaʻu hana no koʻu kaiāulu."
5. ʻOi aku ka kiʻekiʻe o nā helu male ma waena o nā kāne koa
Hiki ke manaʻo ʻia e haʻalele ka wahine hana ma waho o ka home ma mua o ka home. ʻO kēia ka mea maʻamau no nā kāne i kākau inoa ʻia, NCO, Luna Hoʻokele, a i ʻole Luna e lawelawe ana i kahi hui hakakā. "Ke male ʻoe i kahi koa, male ʻoe i ka Pūʻali Koa", ʻōlelo ka ʻōlelo. ʻOiai maopopo i nā kāne a ka pūʻali koa i kēia ke male lākou i kā lākou mea aloha, hiki i ka mea maoli ke haʻalulu nui, a ʻike kēia mau ʻohana i ka nui o ka male he 30%.
6. He ʻokoʻa ke koʻikoʻi o ka wahine koa i ka wahine koa
Hiki i nā pilikia male e pili ana i ka hoʻoili ʻana a me ka lawelawe pūʻali koa ke komo pū me nā hakakā e pili ana i ka PTSD i loaʻa i ka lawelawe, kaumaha a hopohopo paha, nā pilikia mālama inā hoʻi i hōʻeha ʻia kā lākou lālā lawelawe, nā manaʻo o ke kaʻawale a me ka huhū i kā lākou wahine, ka pili pono ʻole i pili i nā hoʻokaʻawale lōʻihi, a me ka wili. coaster o nā manaʻo e pili ana i ka hoʻouna.
7. Loaʻa iā ʻoe nā kumuwaiwai olakino maikaʻi ma kou manamanalima
"Hoʻomaopopo ka pūʻali koa i ka hoʻonohonoho kū hoʻokahi o nā stressors i kū i kēia mau ʻohana", haʻi ʻo Brian iā mākou. "ʻO ka hapa nui o nā kumu i kākoʻo piha i nā limahana aʻoaʻo a me nā mea lapaʻau e hiki ke kōkua iā mākou e hana ma o ke kaumaha, nā manaʻo o ka mehameha. ʻAʻole loa kahi stigma e pili ana i ka hoʻohana ʻana i kēia mau loea. Makemake ka pūʻali koa iā mākou e hauʻoli a olakino a hana i ka mea e hiki ai ke ʻike pēlā mākou e noho ai. ”
8. ʻAʻole paʻakikī ka lilo ʻana i wahine koa
Ua haʻi ʻo Brenda iā mākou i kāna mea huna no ka noho kaulike: “Ma ke ʻano he wahine pūʻali koa no 18+ mau makahiki, hiki iaʻu ke haʻi iā ʻoe he paʻakikī, akā ʻaʻole hiki ʻole. Hoʻomaopopo maoli ia i ka hilinaʻi i ke Akua, kekahi i kekahi, a me kāu male. Pono ʻoe e hilinaʻi i kekahi i kekahi, kamaʻilio maikaʻi, a mai hoʻokau iā ʻoe iho i nā hanana e kū mai nā hoʻowalewale. Ke noho mau nei, ke kumu a me ka nānā, a me ka pili ʻana i kāu ʻōnaehana kākoʻo nā ʻano āpau e mālama ai. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ua ulu ikaika koʻu aloha i kaʻu kāne i kēlā me kēia manawa āna e hoʻouna ai. Ua hoʻāʻo nui mākou e kamaʻilio i kēlā me kēia lā, inā he leka, nā leka uila, nā pāpili kaiaulu, a i ʻole ke kamaʻilio wikiō ʻana. Ua mālama mākou i kekahi i kekahi me ka ikaika a ke Akua pū kekahi iā mākou. "