Anter
- Ke aʻo e pili ana i ka male ʻana mai nā Gottamans
- Pono ka male i nā hana kūpaʻa
- Prioritize i kou pilina
I nā makahiki ʻeono i hala iho nei o ka hāʻawi ʻana i ka hoʻōla i nā kāne ua ʻike wau i ka haʻohaʻo o ka poʻe aʻu e hana pū nei. Ke ulu nei me ka noʻonoʻo o "hauʻoli mau loa" ʻaʻohe mea i haʻi mai iā mākou e pili ana ka pilina i ka hana ikaika i kēlā me kēia lā. ʻAʻohe mea i hopohopo e haʻi aku e hoʻopili pū ia i nā paio, nāukiuki, nā hakakā, nā waimaka, a me nā ʻeha.
I nā hoʻomana like ʻole, paipai ʻia, a i kekahi manawa koi ʻia e hele ma waena o hoʻokahi a i ʻole nā papa o ka male ma mua o ka loaʻa ʻana o ka ʻae “e male. Ma ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa, loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi laikini male akā ʻaʻohe papa papa palapala laikini koi, i kaʻu ʻike. Pehea mākou e koi ai e hoʻopaʻa a aʻo i nā kumuhana like ʻole he nui i ke kula, akā ʻaʻole mākou e aʻo ʻia pehea e lilo ai i hoa hana maikaʻi aʻe no kā mākou hana paʻa a pau. Hiki iā mākou ke mākaukau no ke kūpaʻa o ke ola e hoʻopuni nei i nā pae a me nā hoʻololi i nā makahiki he nui? He aha kaʻu e aʻo maoli aku ai iā ʻoe i kēia lā e pili ana i kahi e loaʻa ai kahi pilina maikaʻi me kāu hoa?
Ke aʻo e pili ana i ka male ʻana mai nā Gottamans
ʻO kahi o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa i loaʻa iaʻu mai iā Dr. Gottmans (ke kāne a me ka wahine). Ua hoihoi wau i ka aʻo ʻana e pili ana i nā ʻāpana like ʻole o ka mea i loaʻa iā lākou i ka noiʻi he mea nui no ka holomua o ka male. Kamaʻilio lākou e pili ana i ka pono e kaʻana like i ka manaʻo, ke aloha a me ka mahalo a pono e ʻike pehea e hana ai ma o ka hakakā, ka hilinaʻi, ka hoʻokō, a me kekahi mau mea ʻē aʻe. ʻO ka nānā ʻana iā lākou ma ke kahua o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa he ʻekolu mau lā pū kekahi kahi ʻike aʻo. ʻO ka ʻike ʻana i nā ʻokoʻa ma waena o lākou a me ka pehea o kā lākou launa pū ʻana he hana hoihoi loa ia. Ua aʻo nui wau e pili ana i kaʻu pili ponoʻī me kaʻu kāne pū kekahi. Ua maopopo iaʻu kaʻoiaʻiʻo i kekahi manawa hoʻopaʻapaʻa mākou a hiki ke ikaika loa, akā ʻaʻole ia e hōʻike ʻaʻole pili ʻole kekahi i kekahi. ʻO ke kumu wale nō ia a mākou e hakakā hakakā no ka mea ʻo ia ka mea i maʻa iā mākou a hiki iā mākou ʻelua ke hoʻokuʻu maʻalahi.
Pono ka male i nā hana kūpaʻa
I ka hopena o ka lā, ʻo ka mea aʻu e makemake ai e aʻo iā ʻoe i kēia lā ʻo ia inā ʻoe i manaʻo e pili i kahi pilina e lilo i mea maʻalahi - e lilo kēia i mea paʻakikī paʻakikī loa nāu. Eia nō naʻe, inā ʻike ʻoe i kēlā pilina he hana o ka hana paʻa i kēlā me kēia lā, hiki iā ʻoe ke hana. Hoʻomaopopo iā ʻoe e pono ʻoe e hoʻoikaika i kēlā me kēia lā e hana i ka pilina āu e makemake ai, a lawe ʻole ia mea no ka ʻole. He kuleana ia e aʻo iā ʻoe iho a e hana mau i kāu hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana iā ʻoe iho i mea e lilo i kanaka maikaʻi a no laila he hoa maikaʻi.
Hiki iā ʻoe ke lilo i hoʻokahi o ka poʻe ʻaʻole male wale akā ua male hauʻoli. Ma o kāu hana ikaika a aʻo ʻana, e aloha ʻoe i kēlā mau manawa āu i uē ai a hakakā ikaika pū kekahi me kekahi no ka mea e hoʻoikaika ana kēlā mau manawa iā ʻoe ma ke ʻano he ʻelua. ʻO ke ala aʻu e ʻike ai i kēia manawa ʻo ka lōʻihi o ka hala ʻana o koʻu mau lā e hōʻoia ana i ka hauʻoli o kaʻu hoa a hana lākou i ka mea like naʻu - hauʻoli pū māua. I nā manawa he nui, ma o nā hana o kēlā me kēia lā a me nā kuleana e maʻalahi ai mākou i ka pilikino a me ka nānā i ka mea e pono ai i ka pilina, ma kahi o ka nānā ʻana i ka mea e pono ai kā mākou hoa. ʻAʻole mākou e hoʻolohe i kā mākou pakanā a nānā ke paʻakikī lākou no ka mea ʻo mākou kekahi. Ke hoʻohui ʻoe i nā keiki i ka huikau, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī. Nui nā kuleana a me nā mea e hana ai, me ka hoʻohui i kāu ola hana i kēlā me kēia lā maʻalahi ka nalowale i ke kaʻina.
Prioritize i kou pilina
ʻO kaʻu ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo iā ʻoe e nānā pono i ka pilina o kāu pilina ma ke ʻano he paʻakikī loa nā mea. Lawe i kekahi manawa e lilo me kekahi. E ʻike i kēlā mau manawa liʻiliʻi o ka hauʻoli e nānā pū kekahi me kekahi a hoʻomanaʻo kekahi i kekahi i kou aloha nui kekahi i kekahi. Hiki iā ia ke lilo i kikokikona wikiwiki o ka emoji puʻuwai i ka lā i hiki ke hoʻololi i kāu lā hoa. E aloha i kēlā mau manawa liʻiliʻi e pūliki, ʻakaʻaka, ʻoluʻolu i ke ola a hulahula e like me ka nānā ʻole ʻana o kekahi. E hele wāwae i ke kahakai, e hele i kāu hale ʻaina punahele a i ʻole kahi āu i hele ai i kāu lā mua. E hana i kahi hana i kēlā me kēia lā o ka nānā ʻana me kekahi a hoʻolaʻa ia no ʻolua wale nō, ʻoiai inā ʻelima mau minuke wale nō ia. E nānā i kēlā me kēia alo i ke alo, a hoʻolohe i nā hōʻailona o ke kāhea ʻana no ke kōkua. E hoʻomanaʻo i ka wā i hoʻoholo ai ʻoe e male i kēlā kanaka, a i ʻole hoʻolaʻa i kou ola e noho pū me lākou, he kumu kūpono kāu e hana ai - a mai poina i kēlā.
Inā pili ʻoe i kēia manawa a ʻaʻole ʻoe maopopo inā makemake ʻoe e lawe i ka hana hou aʻe e nānā i kahi papa helu a ʻōlelo iā ʻoe iho - hiki iaʻu ke waiho i ke koena o koʻu ola me nā hemahema a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o kaʻu hoa? Makemake wau e hoʻokuʻu i kekahi o nā mea liʻiliʻi a mākou e hakakā ai a ʻike i ka nani o kā mākou pilina no ke aha? Inā hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻalele i kēlā mau mea e hoʻopilikia iā ʻoe no ke koena o kou ola me ka hauʻoli a hiki iā ʻoe ke hana ma waena o lākou ʻoiai he paʻakikī paʻakikī paha ia.