Anter
- ʻAʻohe pane pololei no kēia kūlana
- He mea nui ia e ʻimi i kahi pae me kāu kāne
- Eia kekahi mau kulekele no ka mālama ʻana iā ia
- E mālama pono i ke kamaʻilio
- Pono e ʻimi i ka ʻōlelo aʻo
- E hāhai i kou leo kūlohelohe
- Hana pū me ia
Lawe paha mākou i ka pili a me ka male i ka lima akā he aha ka hana ke loaʻa nā pilikino, a i ʻole nā pilikia psychological e kumu i ka pili ʻole o ka pilina, a ʻaole paha he pilina. He mea koʻikoʻi ka pilina ma ka mare i ke ola o kahi pilina male? A inā e kākoʻo ia, hiki i ka hui ʻana o ka nele o ka pilina a me ka male ʻana ke hoʻokō ʻia no nā ʻaoʻao ʻelua?
Paʻakikī ka pane no ka mea he ʻano ʻokoʻa kēlā me kēia laʻana o ka pili a me ka male ʻana (a i ʻole nele iā ia). ʻAe, hiki i kahi male ke ola me ka pili ʻole, akā no ka lōʻihi a inā paha e hoʻokō ʻia ka pilina no nā kāne ʻelua e pili pono ana i nā kāne i pili.
ʻAʻohe pane pololei no kēia kūlana
ʻO ka pilikia me ka pili a me ka male ʻana he nui nā loli paʻakikī e noʻonoʻo ai, e like me ke aloha, ka hoʻokō, nā keiki, nā hoʻonohonoho ola a i ʻole nā hoʻolālā, a hilinaʻi kēlā me kēia ʻano i ka hiʻohiʻona a me nā pono o kēlā me kēia mea i pili i ka male. ʻO ka manaʻo ʻaʻohe pane pololei no kēia kūlana. Pono e nānā pākahi ʻia kēlā me kēia hihia e hoʻoholo i ka pili o ka pilina ma ka male.
He mea nui ia e ʻimi i kahi pae me kāu kāne
ʻO kahi laʻana, kahi male ma kahi e ʻike ai nā kāne ʻelua i ka nele o ka makemake no ka launa ʻana e hiki ke hauʻoli i kahi ola hauʻoli a hoʻokō pū kekahi no ka mea ʻelua ko lākou mau ʻiʻini. Eia nō naʻe, he kāne ʻelua kahi wale nō kahi makemake ʻole o ka wahine i ka pili aloha i kahi pilikia. Aloha paha lāua i kekahi i kekahi, akā no ka mālama ʻana i ka pilina, e hana ana kekahi wahine i kahi kuʻikahi koʻikoʻi ke hiki mai ka pili a me ka male. ʻO ke kuʻikahi kahi mea paʻa e pili ana i ka hiʻohiʻona o ka wahine e hana ana i ka manaʻo kuikahi.
ʻAʻole ia he manaʻo inā inā ʻoe e ʻike nei i kēia ʻano kūlana ʻoi aku kou maikaʻi ma mua o ka laʻana mua. Ma hope o kēia, ʻo ka mea i loaʻa i ka pilina me ka pili ʻole i kā lāua male male ʻana e hoʻokūpī paha i kā lākou ulu ponoʻī a noho i kahi pilina codependent. A holo mau lākou i ka makaʻu o kahi loli i ka makemake.
Maʻalahi ke ʻike i ka loaʻa ʻole o ka pilina ma ka male ʻana i mea e ʻoi ai ka nui o nā pilikia. A i ʻole hana ia i ka hiki no ka ulu pilikino pilikino ma mua o ka male ma kahi e hauʻoli ai nā kāne ʻelua. Akā ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo e pau kāu male inā pili ʻole ka pilina a me ka male.
Eia kekahi mau kulekele no ka mālama ʻana iā ia
Mālama i ke kamaʻilio hāmama a me ka pololei me kāu wahine, i hiki ai iā ʻoe ʻelua ke maopopo e pili ana i kou ʻano, a hana i nā hoʻolālā e hana i nā pilikia. Inā makemake kekahi wahine i ka pili aloha, a makemake ʻole ka mea ʻē aʻe, malia paha hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻae i kahi kuʻikahi. Ke kali nei ka wahine makemake i ka pili aloha i kahi manawa o ka manawa, a i kēlā manawa, ʻo ka wahine makemake ʻole i ka pili aloha e ʻimi aʻoaʻo e kōkua iā lākou me ka pilikia.
Inā ʻo ʻoe ka wahine, ʻaʻole makemake i ka pili a makemake ʻole e ʻimi i ke kōkua, hiki i ka manawa e hāʻawi ai e hāʻawi i kāu wahine i ke kūʻokoʻa, me ka hewa ʻole, e koho ai inā makemake lākou e noho i ka male a i ʻole ʻaʻole. ʻOiaʻiʻo, hiki iā ʻoe ke noho mau, e nā hoaaloha nui, inā hoʻoholo lākou e haʻalele a mahalo i kekahi i kekahi e hoʻonui inā koho lākou e noho.
E mālama pono i ke kamaʻilio
Inā ʻoe i loko o ka male me ka pili ʻole a hauʻoli pū ʻelua i kēlā kūlana, e mālama pono i ke kamaʻilio ʻana. E kūkākūkā pinepine i ke kumuhana o kāu pae o ka pilina a hoʻomanaʻo i kekahi manawa e loli nā mea. Hoʻololi ka poʻe, a loli nā makemake o ke kanaka. ʻO kēia ala inā neʻe kekahi mea i kāu pilina a laila hiki iā ʻoe ke mākaukau ma kahi o ka makaʻu a makaʻu paha.
Inā pili a pili ʻole kekahi kāne a laila kū koke ia, pono e noʻonoʻo e ʻimi i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male i hiki iā ʻoe ʻelua ke maopopo i ka mea i hana ʻia, a pehea e hoʻoponopono ai.
Pono e ʻimi i ka ʻōlelo aʻo
Na ke kākāʻōlelo male e kōkua iā ʻolua i ka hoʻokele ʻana i nā pilikia a kēia kūlana e lawe ai. Aia paha he mau ala ʻē aʻe e hauʻoli ai i ka pili a me ka male ma kahi e pilikia ʻole ai kāu kūlana. I nā kūlana āpau, kōkua nui ke kākāʻōlelo male i hiki iā ʻoe ke mālama i ke kaulike olakino a me ka male ʻana, a i ʻole ke aloha.
ʻO ka mea i hoʻohui mau i nā paʻakikī o kēia kūlana ʻo ke aloha a me ke kūpaʻa āu e loaʻa ai i kekahi i kekahi ma nā ʻano ʻē aʻe, ma waho o ka pilina a me kāu kuana hoʻomana inā loaʻa iā ʻoe.
ʻOiai ʻoe e ʻimi e hoʻohanohano i kāu hana hoʻomana a me ka male, pono e noʻonoʻo pū kekahi he ʻuhane kā kēlā me kēia kanaka e pono ai e hana i nā mea e pono ai. A pono e noa e hana i nā mea e pono ai. ʻAʻohe mea e hoʻokahuli i kēia alakaʻi kūloko a mākou āpau, ʻo kā mākou pilina ʻuhane ke alakaʻi nei iā mākou, a no laila i ka mea liʻiliʻi loa, pono ia e noʻonoʻo i kēia kuanaʻike.
E hāhai i kou leo kūlohelohe
Inā hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike ma waena o kēlā leo kūlohelohe a me ka manaʻo maʻamau, a laila e hāhai mau ʻoe i ka leo kūlohelohe. Inā hōʻole ʻoe, e hoʻomaka wale nō ia e ʻuē nui a nui loa; he mea nui e hana mau i ka mea kūpono iā ʻoe. ʻO ka hōʻole ʻana iā ʻoe iho e hoʻopaneʻe wale nō i ka mea i hōʻole ʻia.
A i ke ʻano like, he mea nui nō hoʻi ʻaʻole e hoʻokaumaha i hoʻokahi kanaka me nā hilinaʻi a i ʻole nā pono o kāu. Inā makemake ʻoe i ka pilina a ʻaʻole makemake kāu hoa, e hōʻino ana ia i kāu male a me kāu hoa e koi iā ia. Akā ʻo ka mea like huli hoʻi i hope. Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake i ka pilina, e hōʻino ana ia i kāu male, a me kou hoapili inā ʻoe e koi iā ia e pili iā lākou. ʻO ia ke kumu e pono ai ka mahalo a me ka wehe a me ka kamaʻilio pololei ʻole.
Hana pū me ia
Inā pilikia ʻoe i ka pili a me ka male, e hoʻomanaʻo ʻoiai ʻo ka male ʻole me ka pili ʻole e hōʻike i kahi makaʻu, aloha, kūpaʻa, a me ka kaulike ʻole me ka pili ʻole he waiwai nui a kiʻekiʻe nā manaʻolana no ka lōʻihi. Inā koho ʻoe i kēlā no kāu male, a koho paha ʻoe e hoʻopau i ka male a noho aloha i nā hoa aloha inā ʻoe e alo i ke kūlana a hana pū me ia, paʻakikī paha ka huakaʻi, akā maikaʻi loa paha ka hopena.