Anter
Kuhi hewa paha ʻoe i ka lilo ʻana o kou ʻike i kahi pilina a haʻalele loa i kāu mana kūʻokoʻa?
Ke hoʻomaka ʻoe i kahi pilina hou, inā me kahi hoa hou a i ʻole he wahine i ka male, hiki i ka ʻike ke waiho iā ʻoe me ka hauʻoli loa. Ke hoʻāʻo nei ʻoe e pili, kahi paʻa e hoʻokokoke aku ai iā ʻoe a me kāu mea kūikawā.
ʻOiai he manaʻo maikaʻi kēia, pono ʻoe e akahele o lilo i kou ʻano ponoʻī. He mea nui e hoʻomanaʻo i kēlā me kēia kanaka ka mea i huki i ke kanaka ʻē iā ʻoe i ka mua.
ʻAʻole ia he mea maʻamau i nā pilina hou e hoʻomaka e lawe i nā ʻano a haʻi a nalowale i kāu ponoʻī i ke kaʻina. Maʻalea loa nā loli i loko o ʻoe, ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻike iā lākou a hiki i ka wā ma hope o ka loli ʻana o ka pilina a hoʻopau paha. A laila koe ʻoe e haʻohaʻo nei i hea kēlā kanaka ma hea ʻoe ma mua o kou komo pū ʻana. ʻ saylelo ʻoe iā ʻoe iho, "He aha ka mea i loaʻa iaʻu?"
Ma waho o ka wahine, makuahine, kāne, makuakāne, limahana, pono ʻoe e ʻike i kahi ʻano ou. Me ka hana mau i kou ola i kēlā me kēia lā, hiki i kahi hakakā e kau ana i kou pilikino. Ma ka papa inoa ma lalo iho nei kahi mau manaʻo e kōkua ai iā ʻoe e lilo ʻole ʻoe.
Hana iaʻu
Hoʻolālā manawa (i kēlā me kēia lā, i kēlā me kēia pule, a pēlā aku) e hana i kahi mea āu e leʻaleʻa ai. Inā iā ʻoe iho a i ʻole me kahi mea ʻē aʻe, ʻo ka mea nui ʻo ʻoe ke lawe i kahi manawa e "hana ʻoe." Kōkua kēlā i ka hōʻoia ʻana ʻaʻole ʻoe e pau i kou ʻike i kahi pilina.
E hoʻopili kokoke
E mālama pono i nā pilina me nā hoaaloha a me nā ʻohana ʻoiai i kāu pili hou. He paʻakikī paha ia, akā inā paha he huaʻōlelo a i ʻole he leka uila, e nānā ma ka liʻiliʻi e aloha.
Inā hiki, hoʻonohonoho i kahi lā awakea a kope paha. Hāʻawi kēia iā ʻoe i kahi manawa kūpono e hoʻokuʻu ai, kuapo i nā moʻolelo, a i ʻole e kiʻi i kahi kuanaʻike hou e pili ana i kahi pilikia / hopohopo a kōkua i ka lilo ʻole o kou ʻike i kahi pilina.
Kahi palekana
ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e huhū no ka ʻōlelo ʻana ʻaʻole, ʻoiai inā he mea e hōʻoluʻolu ʻole ai ʻoe. ʻO ka hoʻonohonoho ʻana i nā palena e ʻike ai ka mea ʻē aʻe i kāu pae hōʻoluʻolu, i loaʻa iā ʻoe nā kuleana āpau.
Inā mālama kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe iā ʻoe, makemake lākou e ʻoluʻolu ʻoe i nā manawa āpau a ʻaʻole makemake ʻoe e lilo ana kou ʻike i kahi pilina a i ʻole e lilo ana iā ʻoe iho i ka male.
Nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo no ke kūʻokoʻa i ka pilina
ʻO ka nalowale ʻana iā ʻoe iho i kahi pilina a i ʻole ke ʻano olakino o ka hoʻohui ʻana ma kahi āu e makemake ʻole ai e hoʻolilo manawa me ʻoe iho he mea weliweli ia.
Inā hohonu loa ʻoe i kāu pilina ʻaʻole ʻoe e noho hou iā ʻoe iho, a hiki ʻole ke mālama i kahi ʻano pilikino ma ke ʻano he kanaka kaʻawale, ʻo ia ka manawa e nalowale ana ʻoe i kou ʻano pilikino.
Ke pili nei me kekahi i ka pili lōʻihi ʻaʻole pono ia e ʻike iā ʻoe iho i kahi pilina a lilo i kāu kanaka ponoʻī i lilo i hana kiʻekiʻe. ʻAʻole pēlā e hana ai kahi mau i ka pilina olakino.
He mea nui e hoʻomanaʻo i kēlā mau manawa i ke kumu o kahi pilina hauʻoli a olakino hoʻi e noho kokoke a ma ka manawa like e nānā no nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo maikaʻi pehea e ʻike hou ai iā ʻoe iho i kahi pilina.
No laila, pehea e kūʻokoʻa ai i kahi pilina ke pili aku ʻoe i ke ala olakino loa i ka pilina?
ʻO kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e pili ana i ke ʻano kūʻokoʻa i kahi pilina e kōkua iā ʻoe e haki i kēia ʻano maikaʻi ʻole, e launa hou me ʻoe a noho ʻoiaʻiʻo iā ʻoe iho me ka hauʻoli ʻana i ka hauʻoli mau i kou pilina me kāu wahine.
- Pehea e lilo ai iā ʻoe iho i kahi pilina, aʻo e ʻaelike e kūlike ʻole. No ka hoʻokumu ʻana i ke kūʻokoʻa he mea nui ia e hoʻomaopopo a ʻae i ka manaʻo o kāu hoa, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole pili ia me kāu kuanaʻike ma ke kumuhana.
- ʻO ke kūʻokoʻa i kahi pilina hiki wale nō inā ʻoe pau ka hilinaʻi ʻana i kāu hoa e hoʻokō i kāu mau makemake a me kāu mau pono. ʻO ka codependency maikaʻi ʻole i ka pilina kahi buzzkill hope loa no nā kāne. E hoʻāʻo e paʻi i kahi kaulike maikaʻi ma waena o ke kūʻokoʻa a me ka codependent, a me ka pahuhopu e lilo i mea pili i nā pilina ʻoiai ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i kahi pilina.
- Ke lilo ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i kahi pilina, he mea nui ia hoʻomanaʻo iā ʻoe iho i kāu ʻōnaehana waiwai nui. Mai hoʻohālikelike i nā waiwai o kāu pakanā e pili wale ana i ka pilina, e hoʻomau i ke kū no kāu mau loina a me nā waiwai, e ulu i ka pilina aloha paʻa me kāu mea ʻē aʻe.
- Ke loaʻa hou nei iā ʻoe iho i kahi pilina e koi iā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo i nā mea ʻē aʻe āu e makemake ai i ke ola me kāu pilina. ʻOiai ʻoe e hoʻonohonoho mua i kou pilina, mai hoʻolilo ia ia i kiko nui wale o kou ola. E mālama i nā mea nui aʻe mai kāu pilina a ʻike i nā ala e ʻike ai i kou kūʻokoʻa.
Ma waho o kēia ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pehea e lilo ai i kāu kanaka ponoʻī i kahi pilina, pono ʻoe aʻo e hauʻoli me ka ʻole o kāu hoa.
ʻOiai ke kūpaʻa a kūpaʻa hoʻi he mea nui, pili like ka hele ʻana i waho, hālāwai me nā poʻe hou, me ka loaʻa ʻana o kāu mau makemake ponoʻī a me ka ʻimi ʻana i nā hana e hauʻoli ai ʻoe.
No ka ulu ʻana o ka pilina, he mea nui e mālama i kāu pono ponoʻī, e hoʻoikaika no kekahi mau ʻike solo a aloha iā ʻoe iho.