Anter
- Kuhi hewa kamaʻilio # 1: nā ʻōlelo “ʻO ʻoe”
- Hewa ke kamaʻilio # 2: Nā ʻōlelo ākea
- Kuhi hewa kamaʻilio # 3: Heluhelu manaʻo
- Hewa ke kamaʻilio # 4: Ke hoʻohewa nei i kahi kanaka, ma kahi o nā hana
Rula: ʻO ke kūlana o ke kamaʻilio like me ka maikaʻi o ka pilina.
ʻAʻohe paha kekahi e kūlike ʻole i kēlā. Hōʻoiaʻiʻo ʻo Psychology iā ia, a hiki i kēlā me kēia kākāʻōlelo male ke hōʻike i nā pilina lehulehu i hōʻino ʻia no ka kamaʻilio maikaʻi ʻole ma waena o nā hoa. Akā nō naʻe, hoʻomau mākou i ka hana like i nā hewa like. No ke aha mākou e hana ai i kēlā? ʻĀ, ʻaʻole nīnau ka hapanui o mākou i ke ala a mākou e kamaʻilio ai i kā mākou mea i aloha ai, a manaʻoʻiʻo e hana ana mākou i kahi hana maikaʻi e ʻōlelo ana i nā mea a mākou e makemake ai e ʻōlelo. He mea paʻakikī iā mākou ke ʻike i nā hewa a mākou i ulu a maʻa ai. A hiki i kēia mau mea ke uku iā mākou i kā mākou pilina a me ka hauʻoli. Eia nō naʻe, aia kekahi nūhou maikaʻi - ʻoiai ʻo nā hana kahiko e make paʻakikī, ʻo ke aʻo ʻana e kamaʻilio i ke ʻano olakino a me ka hana ʻana ʻaʻole paʻakikī, a he hana liʻiliʻi wale nō ia.
Eia nā hewa kamaʻilio pinepine ʻehā, a me nā ala e haʻalele ai iā lākou.
Kuhi hewa kamaʻilio # 1: nā ʻōlelo “ʻO ʻoe”
- "Hoʻoholoka ʻoe iaʻu!"
- "E ʻike paha ʻoe iaʻu i kēia manawa!"
- "Pono ʻoe e kōkua hou mai iaʻu"
He mea paʻakikī ʻaʻole e keakea i nā ʻōlelo i kapa ʻia ʻo “ʻoe” i kā mākou hoa ke huhū mākou, a he paʻakikī like ʻole ʻole e hōʻino iā lākou no ko mākou naʻau maikaʻi ʻole. Eia nō naʻe, hiki i ka hoʻohana ʻana i ia ʻōlelo ke hopena i ko mākou hakakā ʻē aʻe i ke ʻano like, a i ʻole ke kī ʻana iā mākou. Akā, pono mākou e hoʻoikaika i ka hōʻike ʻana i ko mākou mau manaʻo a me nā makemake. ʻO kahi laʻana, e hoʻāʻo e ʻōlelo: "Ke huhū nei au / kaumaha / ʻeha / kuhihewa ke kaua mākou", a i ʻole "E mahalo maoli wau inā hiki iā ʻoe ke lawe i ka ʻōpala i nā ahiahi, ua kaumaha wau me nā hana o ka hale āpau".
Hewa ke kamaʻilio # 2: Nā ʻōlelo ākea
- "Ke hakakā mau nei mākou e pili ana i ka mea like!"
- "ʻAʻole ʻoe e hoʻolohe!"
- "E ʻae pū ka poʻe āpau me aʻu!"
He kuhi hewa maʻamau kēia ma ke kamaʻilio a me ka noʻonoʻo. He ala maʻalahi ia e hoʻopau i nā manawa kūpono o ke kamaʻilio kūpono. ʻO ia, inā mākou e hoʻohana i kahi "mau" a i ʻole "ʻaʻole loa", pono nā ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe āpau e kuhikuhi i kahi ʻokoʻa (a aia mau kekahi), a ua pau ke kūkā. Ma kahi o, e hoʻāʻo e pololei a kikoʻī paha i hiki, a e ʻōlelo e pili ana i kēlā kūlana kikoʻī (e nānā ʻole inā hana hou ia iā ia iho no ka manawa kaukani) a pehea kou manaʻo e pili ana iā ia.
Kuhi hewa kamaʻilio # 3: Heluhelu manaʻo
Hele kēia hewa i nā ʻaoʻao ʻelua, a pale iā mākou mai ka kamaʻilio maoli ʻana me kā mākou poʻe aloha. Hāʻawi ka noho ʻana i kahi pilina iā mākou i kahi ʻano nani o ka ʻokahi. Minamina, hele mai kēia me kahi pilikia o ka manaʻo e heluhelu ana kā mākou mea aloha i ko mākou manaʻo. A manaʻoʻiʻo pū mākou ua ʻike mākou iā lākou ma mua o kā lākou ʻike iā lākou iho, ʻike mākou i kā lākou "manaʻo maoli" ke ʻōlelo lākou i kekahi mea. Akā, ʻaʻole paha pēlā, a he makaʻihi paha ke kuhi ʻana pēlā. No laila, hoʻāʻo e kamaʻilio nui i kou noʻonoʻo me ke ʻano assertive ke makemake ʻoe a makemake paha i kahi mea, a ʻae i kāu hapalua e hana like (a mahalo hoʻi i ko lākou kuanaʻike me ka nānā ʻole i nā mea āu e manaʻo ai).
E nānā pū kekahi: Pehea e hōʻalo ai i nā hewa pili pilina maʻamau
Hewa ke kamaʻilio # 4: Ke hoʻohewa nei i kahi kanaka, ma kahi o nā hana
"He kanaka molowa ʻoe / noʻonoʻo / noʻonoʻo ʻole a noʻonoʻo ʻole hoʻi!"
Kūlohelohe ia e huhū i ka pilina mai kēlā manawa a kēia manawa, a ke manaʻo nui ʻia nei e ʻike ʻoe i ka makemake e hoʻopiʻi iā ia i ka pilikino o kāu hoa. Eia nō naʻe, hoʻokaʻawale ka kamaʻilio kūpono ma waena o ke kanaka a me kā lākou hana. Inā hoʻoholo mākou e hōʻino i kā mākou hoa, i ko lākou ʻano a i ʻole ʻano, e lilo lākou i mea pale, a hakakā paha. Pau ke kamaʻilio ʻana. E hoʻāʻo e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kā lākou hana, akā, e pili ana i ka mea i hoʻonāukiuki loa iā ʻoe: nānā ʻole ʻia a mea ʻole iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo ʻoe pēlā ”. ʻO ia mau ʻōlelo e hoʻokokoke aku ai iā ʻoe i kāu hoa a wehe i kahi kamaʻilio, me ka ʻole o lākou e hoʻouka ʻia.
ʻIke paha ʻoe i kekahi o kēia mau hewa maʻamau i ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kāu hoa? A i ʻole ʻo lākou āpau paha? Mai paʻakikī iā ʻoe iho - maʻalahi ka paheʻe i loko o kēia mau pahele o ko mākou noʻonoʻo a lilo i mau makahiki o ke kamaʻilio maʻamau. A ʻo nā mea liʻiliʻi, e like me ka wehewehe ʻana i ko mākou mau manaʻo i ke ala kūpono ʻole, hiki ke hoʻololi i waena o kahi pilina olakino a hoʻokō, a me kahi mea i hoʻopau ʻia. Eia nō naʻe, ʻo ka nūhou maikaʻi inā makemake ʻoe e hana i kahi hoʻoikaika e hoʻomaikaʻi i ke ala e kamaʻilio ai me kāu hoa a hoʻomaʻamaʻa i nā hopena a mākou i noi ai, e hoʻomaka koke ʻoe e ʻohi i nā uku.