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He aha ke ʻano o ka pili?
Hoʻākāka ka puke wehewehe ʻōlelo i ka “intimacy” ma ke ʻano he closeness a i ʻole ka moekolohe, akā ua ʻike anei ʻoe he nui aʻe nā ala e wehewehe ai i ka pili aloha?
ʻO kahi ala hoihoi e wehewehe ai i ka pili aloha, ka hoʻohuihui ʻana o nā puʻuwai. ʻO ka pilina me kā mākou hoa e ʻae iā mākou e "ʻike i loko" ʻo wai kā mākou pakanā a hana i kā mākou hoa "ʻike iā" iā mākou pū kekahi.
ʻO ka mea āu e nīnau ai iā ʻoe iho ʻo kēia: he aha ke ʻano o ka pili aloha iaʻu? Hiki i kēia ke wehewehe i ka pilina ma ka pili i ka male a i ʻole ka pili. ʻO ka wehewehe ʻana i ka pilina ʻoiaʻiʻo e hoʻoholo pehea e pili ai kekahi i kekahi.
Ka manaʻo pili aloha
He aha ke ʻano o ka pili? He aha ka pilina maoli? A hiki ke launa me ka moe kolohe ʻole?
ʻIke kekahi i ka psychology i kēia lā i ka pilina pilina ma mua o ka pili ʻana a i ka moekolohe paha. ʻO ka wehewehe maoli o ka pilina ʻaʻole wale no e pili ana i nā kino ʻelua e hui pū nei no ka pili kino a i ʻole ka moekolohe, ʻoi aku ka hohonu ma mua o kēlā.
'He aha ka pilina ma ka pilina' a i ʻole 'He aha ka pilina i ka male' hiki ke loaʻa kahi manaʻo ʻokoʻa no nā poʻe like ʻole.
ʻO ka manaʻo o pili ka pili aloha i ka pilina pili ʻelua kahi a ʻelua mau mea e pānaʻi ai i nā manawa pili a me nā manaʻo o ka hilinaʻi, ka naʻau, a me ke pili kino o kekahi i kekahi.
E nānā pū kekahi:
Eia nā wehewehe nui ʻehā o ka pilina a me ke ʻano o lākou no ʻoe:
1. Pili pili ʻuhane
Aia ʻolua ma ka lōʻihi hawewe? "Loaʻa" ʻoe i kekahi i kekahi? Hiki iā ʻoe ke kamaʻilio a hiki i nā hola āpau o ka pō e pili ana i nā mea āpau a me nā mea āpau-ʻo nā mea e like me nā keiki a me nā kālā? ʻO ia ka manaʻo o ka wehewehe ʻana i ka pili ʻikepili.
ʻAʻole ia he ʻoi aku ke akamai o kekahi ma mua o kekahi; hou aʻe i loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi ala like i ke ola a hauʻoli i ke kamaʻilio pū ʻana me kekahi. He mau manaʻo ʻokoʻa paha kāu, akā hana ʻoe e hui pū.
Ma waho o ka pili kino a me ka naʻau no ka pilina e ulu pono, pono ka pilina i kekahi kekelē o ka homogeneity ʻike ma waena o nā hoa.
ʻO ka pilina pili ʻuhane kahi e hiki ai i nā kāne a pau ke hoʻomohala a hāʻawi i ke ola o kēlā me kēia kanaka ma o kā lākou ʻike akamai.
Pili nā kānāwai o ka pili ʻikepili i ka mea ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ka poʻe me nā ʻano ʻikepili like me kekahi.
No laila eia kekahi mau mea e noʻonoʻo ai e hoʻohana i ka pilina ʻike:
- E ʻimi a hui pū me nā poʻe me ke ʻano like a me nā makemake e like me kāu.
- E nānā no ka poʻe me nā hoihoi like a me nā pahuhopu.
- Hoʻopili me nā poʻe me kahi ʻano like o nā pono a me nā waiwai.
2. Pili pili aloha
He aha ke ʻano o ka pilina ma nā ʻōlelo? A i ʻole he pilina pili i ka naʻau?
ʻO ka pilina pilikino i ka male ka wā e ulu ai kahi kāne i kahi ʻano ikaika o ka pili a me ke aloha me kekahi.
Wehewehe ʻia kēlā pilina e ka laulā e hiki ai i nā kāne a ʻelua ke palekana, hilinaʻi, a kamaʻilio pū kekahi me kekahi.
Ke pili kokoke ʻoe i kahi naʻau, ʻo ia ka mea maʻalahi ʻoe. Hoʻokuʻu ʻoe i kou kiaʻi i lalo a manaʻo palekana e hana pēlā.
Ke ʻike ʻoe i kēia ʻano kokoke, hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻi i kekahi i kekahi a manaʻo ʻae ʻia. Hiki iā ʻolua ke "manaʻo" i ka manaʻo o ka mea ʻē aʻe.
Ua hui pū paha nā kāne he nui no ka manawa lōʻihi a nele i ka pili aloha. ʻO ia no ka mea makaʻu paha kēia. I nā manawa he nui, ʻaʻole lākou i ʻike i ka nele o ka pilina o ke ʻano i ko lākou ola a hiki i ka hala ʻana o ka manawa.
Eia kahi a mau mea hiki iā ʻoe ke hana e ulu i ka pilina i loko o kāu male:
- E hoʻolālā i ka manawa kūpono me kāu hoa me ka ʻole o nā mea hoʻonāukiuki.
- E ʻoluʻolu, mahalo, aloha, a aloha i kāu hoa.
- E ʻimi i nā mea hou a me nā hana i hiki iā ʻoe ke hana me kāu hoa.
3. Hoʻopili ʻuhane
ʻO ka mea hope paha āu e noʻonoʻo ai ke lohe ʻoe i ka "intimacy" ka ʻuhane. Akā inā ʻoe e manaʻoʻiʻo i ke Akua a i ʻole kekahi mana kiʻekiʻe e makemake iā mākou e aloha kekahi i kekahi, a laila kūpono ia.
ʻAʻole mākou ma ʻaneʻane hewa, a ʻike mākou i kekahi i kekahi. Hana mākou i nā pilina ikaika. Ke hoʻomohala ʻoe i kahi pilina ʻuhane, maopopo ʻolua i ka ʻimi ʻuhane o kekahi me kekahi.
ʻAe ʻoe i ka pilina e loaʻa a mākaukau ʻuhane.
No ke aha mākou e hana ʻino ʻole ai iā haʻi, ʻo ke kānāwai wale nō? ʻAʻole, no ka mea, manaʻoʻiʻo mākou he mea nui ke ola. He pilina ʻuhane kēlā. Ke hoʻokō ʻoe i kēlā i kāu pili pili, pili ʻoe i kāu hoa, ʻuhane.
ʻO ka pilina pili ʻuhane ke ʻano o ka wā e hoʻohiki like ai kahi mau kāne e mahalo, mālama, a hoʻonui i ka manaʻo o ke Akua i ko lāua ola.
He hohonu a ikaika hoʻi ka pilina ʻuhane, a he mea hiki iā ʻoe a me kāu hoa e lilo i mana maikaʻi loa no ʻoukou iho.
Aʻo ia iā ʻoe e mahalo i ke alo a me ka makemake o ke Akua i kāu male a me kou ola. Hoʻonui ia i kou manaʻoʻiʻo i kahi mea ʻoi aku ma mua o ʻoe a koi i kahi mōhai e pili ana i ka hoʻokahe ʻana i kou ʻano kūlohelohe o ka manaʻo pilikino.
Eia kekahi mau mea āu e pono ai e hoʻonui i kou ola, ʻuhane.
- E manaʻoʻiʻo i kahi mea kiʻekiʻe aʻe ma mua ou a kākoʻo kekahi i kekahi e ulu i kāu mau manaʻoʻiʻo.
- Hoʻomaʻamaʻa noʻonoʻo
- E kamaʻilio i kāu pilikia psychological a pehea e lanakila ai iā lākou
4. Hōʻike moekolohe
ʻO ka "pili" ke kumu o ka huaʻōlelo "intimacy," akā he aha ka manaʻo? He moekolohe wale nō ia, a ʻoi aku paha ma mua o kēlā? Aia kekahi ʻokoʻa ma waena o ka moekolohe a me ka pili?
ʻOkoʻa ka wehewehe ʻana o ka pilina ma waena o ka pilina ma waena o kekahi i kekahi.
Akā pili ka mea maikaʻi me ka moekolohe inā hiki iā ʻolua ke ʻoluʻolu e hōʻike iā ʻoe iho i ke ʻano moekolohe a ʻoluʻolu hoʻi me kekahi i kekahi a laila ua hiki ʻoe i kahi pae pili maikaʻi.
ʻOi aku ia ma mua o ka moekolohe wale nō—ke kaʻana like nei ʻoe i kēlā ʻāpana ʻokoʻa loa o ʻoe iho, a ʻo ka hope.
Pili: He aha ka pilina wahine? 6 mau ala e hoʻohui ai i ka wā o ka moekolohe
Lawe Hope
ʻO nā mea āpau, he ʻano kaʻina kēlā me kēia ʻano pilina. Hiki ke loli, no laila e hana me ia me kāu pakanā no kahi pilina ʻoi aku ka hoʻokō a me ka hōʻoluʻolu. Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻimi i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pilikino e hoʻonui ai i kou pilina.
ʻO nā wehewehe ʻana o ka pilina ma luna a me nā mea e pili ana iā ʻoe hiki ke lilo i kahua maikaʻi loa e kūkulu i kahi pilina mau loa me kāu mea ʻē aʻe.
E wehewehe a ʻimi i ka pilina ma nā pae he nui, he huakaʻi pīhoihoi ia, kahi āu e lawe ai.