Anter
“ʻO nā ʻohana hauʻoli like like; ʻoluʻolu ʻole kēlā me kēia ʻohana hauʻoli i kāna ʻano ponoʻī. " Pēlā e hoʻomaka ai ka puke moʻolelo a Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina. ʻAʻole i wehewehe ʻo Tolstoy i ka hauʻoli o ka ʻohana, no laila ua hoʻoholo wau e hana pēlā nona, ma muli o kaʻu noiʻi ma ke ʻano he psychoanalyst.
Eia kaʻu mau ʻelima mau hiʻohiʻona hauʻoli e kaʻana like. ʻIke nō, i mea e loaʻa ai kēia mau ʻano, pono ke olakino manaʻo i nā lālā ʻelua o ka wahine.
1. Maikaʻi ckamaʻilio
Kamaʻilio nā kāne hauʻoli. Wele lākou i ko lākou mau manaʻo ma kahi o ka hana ʻana iā lākou i waho. ʻAʻole lākou e wahaheʻe, kāohi, hoʻopunipuni, hoʻopiʻi, kīkē i kekahi i kekahi, hoʻokuʻu kekahi i kekahi, kamaʻilio e pili ana i kekahi i hope o lākou, e hoʻohaʻahaʻa kekahi i kekahi , kāhea i kekahi i nā inoa ʻē aʻe, e hoʻomāinoino kekahi i kekahi, a i ʻole hana i nā ʻano hana like ʻole ʻē aʻe i hana ʻia e nā kāne ʻoliʻoli.
Akā, inā loaʻa iā lākou kahi pilikia e kamaʻilio lākou ia mea. Loaʻa iā lākou kahi hilinaʻi kumu a me ka hoʻokō e ʻae iā lākou e hōʻeha iā lākou iho ma o ka kaʻana like ʻana i kā lākou mau ʻeha a me ka ʻike ʻana e loaʻa ka ʻeha i ka empathically. ʻO ka kamaʻilio ʻana o nā kāne ʻoliʻoli ʻaʻole pono e hana. ʻO ka launa pū ʻana o nā kāne hauʻoli ka pahuhopu o ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i ka hakakā a hoʻokū hou i ka pili a me ka pili aloha. ʻAʻole hopohopo nā kāne hauʻoli e pili ana i ka mea kūpono a hewa paha, no ka mea, manaʻo lākou iā lākou iho me he meaola hoʻokahi, a ʻo ka mea nui iā lākou ka pololei o kā lākou pilina.
2. Hoʻoikaika
Hoʻoikaika nā kāne hauʻoli i kekahi i kekahi. Inā male lāua, lawe lāua i kā lāua hoʻohiki male a pili like lāua i kekahi me ka ʻole inā, akā, a me ka ʻole. Inā he kāne a male ʻole paha lākou, he kūpaʻa ikaika kā lākou e haʻalele ʻole ai. ʻO kēia ka hoʻohiki paʻa ʻole e lawe i ke kūpaʻa i ka pilina a hāʻawi i nā lālā ʻelua i ka ikaika e hana me nā piʻi a me nā lalo e hele ai kekahi pilina.
ʻO ke kuʻikahi ke kāpili e hoʻopaʻa i ka pilina. ʻO nā mea paʻakikī a kāu hoa e hele nei, ma laila ʻoe. ʻAʻole e hoʻokolokolo ʻia, ʻaʻohe mea hoʻopiʻi, ʻaʻohe ʻōlelo hoʻoweliweli o ka haʻalele a haʻalele paha. ʻAʻole nīnau ʻia kēlā mau mea. Aia ke kūpaʻa ma ke ʻano he paʻa paʻa paʻa e hoʻomau i ka pilina ma ka papa.
3. ʻAeʻae
ʻAe ʻelua mau kāne aloha kekahi i kekahi no ka mea ʻo wai lāua. ʻAʻohe mea hemolele a ʻo ka hapanui o mākou mai kahi maikaʻi loa. ʻAe nā kāne hauʻoli i nā hemahema o kekahi me kekahi no ka mea hiki iā lākou ke ʻae i ko lākou hemahema iho. He kī kēia: i mea e ʻae ai i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i ke ʻano o lākou e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke ʻae iā ʻoe iho e like me ʻoe. No laila inā e hopohopo kāu pakanā, ʻūlū, haʻalulu, haʻalulu, kamaʻilio nui, kamaʻilio liʻiliʻi, a makemake paha i ka moekolohe nui, ʻae ʻoe i nā mea like me nā idiosyncrasies, ʻaʻole hewa.
Manaʻo nā kāne ʻoluʻolu ʻaʻole ʻae lākou iā lākou iho i ke ʻano, akā pinepine ka hōʻole ʻana. Hiki iā lākou ke ʻike i ka speck i ka maka o kā lākou hoa, akā ʻaʻole ka kaola i loko o kā lākou iho. Ma muli o ka hōʻole ʻana i kā lākou mau hewa iho, hoʻolālā lākou iā lākou i kekahi manawa i kā lākou mau hoa. "ʻAʻole wau ka mea nāna e hoʻopilikia, ʻo ʻoe!" ʻO ka hōʻole i kā lākou mau hewa iho, ʻo ka nui o ke ahonui o nā hewa o kā lākou mau hoa. Hoʻomaopopo nā kāne hauʻoli i kā lākou hewa a kala mai iā lākou; no laila lākou e kala nei a ʻae nei i nā hewa o kā lākou mau hoa. ʻO kēia ke alakaʻi i nā pilina pili aloha.
4. Passion
Nui ka makemake o nā kāne hauʻoli kekahi i kekahi. ʻO kā lākou pilina ka mea nui i ko lākou ola. ʻO ka makemake moekolohe kekahi mea e hele mai a hele paha, akā ʻo ke kuko kekahi i kekahi a no ka pilina mau. Hoʻomaka ka hapa nui o nā kāne me ke kuko i ka wā o ko lākou wā meli, akā ua hōʻole kēia ʻano kuko i kahi o ke ala. ʻO ke aloha a me ke kuko no kekahi me kekahi, e like me ke kuko no kahi leʻaleʻa, kahi mea e hoʻomanawanui ma ʻō aku o ka wā kōmina.
ʻO Passion ka mea e hāʻawi i ka pilina i kona ikaika. ʻO ke kūpaʻa me ka ʻole o ke kuko e alakaʻi i kahi pilina hakahaka. ʻO ka hoʻohiki me ke kuko e hana i kahi pilina i hoʻokō ʻia. Hoʻokomo ʻia ke kuko e ke kamaʻilio maikaʻi. Ke hoʻokaʻawale ʻelua a male a hoʻoponopono i nā hakakā, paʻa mau ka pili a me ke kuko. Mālama ʻo Passion i kahi pilina pili a ola.
5. Aloha
Hele ʻole me ka ʻōlelo ʻana he wahine aloha kahi kāne hauʻoli. ʻAʻole kēia e ʻōlelo he aloha kekahi i kekahi. ʻO ka hāʻule ʻana i ke aloha ka mea pinepine ʻole o ke olakino ma mua o kahi mea olakino. Kāhea ʻo Shakespeare i ke aloha ʻana i kahi ʻano o ka lunacy. He idealization ia, hoʻokumu ʻia i nā pono narcissistic, ʻaʻole hiki ke hala. ʻO ke aloha olakino kahi mea e pili pū ana me nā ʻano i helu ʻia ma luna: ke kamaʻilio maikaʻi, ka hoʻokō ʻana, ka ʻae a me ke kuko.
ʻO kā mākou ʻike mua o ke aloha i kā mākou pilina me ko mākou makuahine. ʻO ke hilinaʻi a me ka palekana āna i hōʻike ai iā mākou he aloha. ʻAʻole hōʻike ʻia ke aloha ma o nā huaʻōlelo, akā ma o ka hana. Ma ke ala like, ke ʻike mākou i ka hilinaʻi a me ka palekana me kā mākou hoa i ke ola ma kahi o kahi manawa lōʻihi, ʻike mākou i ke aloha mau. ʻO ke aloha mau ke aloha e waiwai ai ke ola.