Anter
- Pehea ka hopena o ke keiki i kāu male?
- Ke kaulike ʻana i ka makua a me ka male ʻana
- 15 mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo no ke kaulike ʻana i ka male a me ka makua
- 1. E aʻo i kāu poʻe keiki i ke kūʻokoʻa
- 2. ʻAe i kāu waiwai nui
- 3. E hoʻopili me kēlā me kēia lālā o ka ʻohana
- 4. Mai hakakā i mua o nā keiki
- 5. Kūkākūkā a hāʻawi i kahi liʻiliʻi
- 6. E hana i kahi papa hana i kūpono no nā mea āpau
- 7. E lilo i kime
- 8. E launa, e kamaʻilio, e launa pū
- 9. Prioritise oe ia oe iho a me kekahi i kekahi
- 10. Pāʻani me kāu poʻe keiki
- 11. Mai hoʻohalahala no ka lawe manawa
- 12. Hana ma ia mea i kēlā me kēia lā
- 13. ʻAi pū
- 14. Kukulu i nā hana
- 15. Mai hakakā i mua o kāu mau keiki
- Panina hopena
ʻLelo lākou i nā mea kūʻē e hoʻohihi; ke hiki mai i ke kaulike ʻana i ka male a me ka makua, hiki i kēlā mea he mea maikaʻi. Me kēlā me kēia wahine e lawe mai ana i nā mākau a me nā tālena ʻokoʻa i ka papaʻaina, ma ke ʻano he kāne, hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo mai kekahi i kekahi a loaʻa pū ka ʻike waiwai.
ʻO kahi laʻana, hiki i ka wahine i waho ke kōkua i kahi kāne introverted hou e kiʻi hou aku, a ʻo ke kāne i hoʻonohonoho pono ʻia e hiki ke kōkua i ka wahine i hoʻonohonoho liʻiliʻi e loaʻa nā mea hou aʻe. A hele ka papa inoa.
Hiki pū, hiki i ke kāne a me ka wahine ke kōkua i kekahi i kekahi e ulu. ʻOiai he mea nani kēia i ka male, ke pili i ka makua, ʻo kekahi manawa ke kūʻē ʻole he mea maikaʻi.
Mahalo aku paha ʻo ia, a ʻoi aku kona ʻoluʻolu; kūpaʻa ʻoi aku ʻo ia, ʻoi aku kona maʻalahi, a i ʻole ʻaʻole maopopo iā lākou ka mea e hele mua: wahine a keiki paha.
Ke lawe ʻoe i ʻelua mau kanaka ʻokoʻa, me ʻelua mau ʻano kamaliʻi a me nā kāʻei i loko o nā kuleana co-makua, hiki ke maʻaleʻale.
Pehea ʻoe e hoʻokele ai i ka makua a me ka male? Pehea ʻoe e lawelawe ai i nā pilikia pilikia? Ke loaʻa i kāu keiki kahi ʻōlelo ma ke kula, pehea kēlā me kēia makua e makemake ai e lawelawe ma ka home?
He aha e pili ana i ka manawa e ʻae ai iā lākou e lilo ma nā hale o nā hoaaloha, a i ʻole ka manawa e ʻae ai iā lākou e hoʻohana i nā lako uila? Pehea e pili ana i nā hana, a i ʻole ke kālā a i ʻole ke hoʻohana ʻana i kāu mau kaʻa? ʻOiaʻiʻo, nui a lehulehu nā mea e noʻonoʻo ai.
Pehea ka hopena o ke keiki i kāu male?
ʻO ka kaulike ʻana i ka male a me ka makua ʻaʻole no ka puʻuwai puʻuwai. Ke kau mua nei i kāu wahine i ka male a me ka hoʻokele ʻana i kāu mau pilina ma hope o nā keiki ke nui ka manawa a me ke ahonui.
ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke hānai i kā mākou keiki i ke ala a ko mākou mau mākua i hānai ai iā mākou, a ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī i ke kaulike ʻana i kāu male me nā hauʻoli o ka makua, ʻoiai ke hoʻohana nei mākou i ka hapa nui o ko mākou manawa me ka hapa o ka maka ma kā mākou kamaliʻi.
Wahi a ka Institute for Divorce Financial Analyst, nā pilikia pili ʻole o ke kumu a me nā ʻokoʻa ma luna o nā kumu a nā mākua i nā kumu o ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana. He mea nui ʻaʻole e lawe māmā.
Pehea e hiki ai ke kaulike i ka male a me ka makua ke loaʻa ka manawa kūpono no nā mea ʻelua? ʻĀ! Aia kekahi ala e kaulike ai i ka male a me ka makua. E hoʻomaopopo iā lākou, i kēlā me kēia manawa.
Hiki i kekahi ke kaulike maʻalahi i ka male a me ka makua akā pono e hāhai i kekahi mau rula e hoʻokō ai i kēlā hana nui-hiki ʻole e like me ka pro.
No laila pehea e hiki ai i ka male ʻana me nā keiki ke noho pū i kahi ala kuʻikahi? Pehea e hana ai i kahi pilina me nā keiki? Hiki ke hana i nā mea ʻelua a hana maikaʻi iā lākou.
Ke kaulike ʻana i ka makua a me ka male ʻana
Pono ke kaulike i ka male a me ka makua i kou makemake e hana i kāu male. Ke noho mau i nā mea aloha ʻoiai e hānai ana i nā keiki e like paha me he hana lāpau me ka hana ʻana a puni ʻoe e heʻe iki ana ʻoe mai kāu male momona.
Eia nō naʻe, me ke ala kūpono, ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, a me ka hilinaʻi i kekahi i kekahi, hiki iā ʻoe ke mālama maʻalahi i ka male a me ka makua me ka hopohopo ʻole e pili ana i ka hemo ʻana o kāu male.
ʻO ka male ma hope o nā keiki kahi ʻike nui e maʻa mau no nā kāne he nui. ʻO ia ma muli o ka mālama ʻole o nā kāne i ko lākou pilina ma waena o nā haunaele o ka ʻoihana, ʻohana, ʻohana, a pēlā aku.
No laila, pehea e mālama ai i ke kaulike ma waena o ka male a me ka makua? Aia kekahi hopena no ka male ma hope o nā keiki a i ʻole e hoʻoponopono i nā pilikia o ka male ma hope o nā keiki?
15 mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo no ke kaulike ʻana i ka male a me ka makua
Ke hoʻololi nei ka ikaika o ka male a me ka makua. Eia kekahi mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo no ke kaulike ʻana i ka male a me ka makua me ka hele pupule ʻole:
1. E aʻo i kāu poʻe keiki i ke kūʻokoʻa
ʻAʻole wale ia e kōkua iā lākou e loaʻa ka hilinaʻi ke hoʻomaka ʻo ia e hana i kāna ʻaina kakahiaka ponoʻī, hoʻomaʻemaʻe i ko lākou lumi ponoʻī, a ke pāʻani pū nei hoʻi iā ia iho, e hoʻoliʻiliʻi ia i ke koʻikoʻi i nā mākua a hāʻawi i ka manawa o ka makuahine a me ka makuakāne me kekahi.
He makaʻu paha i ka wā mua akā e hoʻonui mālie ana i ka nui o ke kūʻokoʻa a kūʻokoʻa paha no kāu mau keiki e kōkua wale iā lākou e aʻo i nā mākau e pono ai no ke ola hoʻokahi a i ʻole me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.
Hiki i ka male a me ka makua ke noho pū me ka lima. E hoʻāʻo i nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ma luna; inā hiki ʻole ke hoʻokele, a laila e kiʻi i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo e kōkua i kāu hihia kikoʻī.
2. ʻAe i kāu waiwai nui
Aloha. Ohana. Hana. Ka hauʻoli. ʻO nā mea nui āu e pili ana i nā mākua, e kākau iho. E mālama i kēlā mau mea i mua ou, no laila e loaʻa mau lākou iā lākou e hoʻi i.
Lana ka manaʻo, e lilo kēia mau waiwai nui i kahua hoʻomaka e kōkua iā ʻoe ʻelua e uhi i ka hapa nui o nā pilikia maʻamau e pili ana i ka makua; hiki i kēia ke hele i kahi ala lōʻihi i ke kōkua ʻana iā ʻoe e hoʻokō i ke kaulike a me ke kūlike i kāu male ʻoiai ʻoe e pili ana i ka makua.
E hoʻomanaʻo e hānai i nā keiki hauʻoli ʻoiai e hoʻokau i kāu male ma mua. Ke hoʻokau nei i kāu male ma mua a i ʻole hoʻokau i kahi wahine ma mua o nā keiki ke hōʻoia i ka pivotal i ke kaulike ʻana i ka male a me ka makua.
3. E hoʻopili me kēlā me kēia lālā o ka ʻohana
No 20 mau minuke i kēlā me kēia lā, e hōʻoia e hoʻolilo i ka manawa hoʻokahi i ka manawa maikaʻi me kāu wahine a me kēlā me kēia keiki. E kōkua kēia manawa i kēlā me kēia mea e hoʻopaʻa i nā pilina paʻa e mālama i nā mea kaulike i kou home.
ʻO nā ʻano āu e hoʻomaʻamaʻa ai i kēlā me kēia lā e hōʻike i ka manaʻo ikaika i kāu poʻe keiki. ʻO ka hoʻolimalima ʻana i ka manawa ʻohana maikaʻi e kōkua i kāu mau keiki e aʻo i ka hana o ke kaulike ʻana i nā mea i ke ola a lawe mai iā ʻoe kokoke iā lākou.
4. Mai hakakā i mua o nā keiki
He paʻakikī paʻakikī ʻole e kūlike ʻole i nā hoʻoholo makua inā ʻoe i ka manawa me kāu poʻe keiki ma laila, akā pono ʻoe e lilo i mea nui.
Malia paha makemake nui kāu keiki 9 makahiki; hoʻonāukiuki ia makuakāne, a makemake ʻo ia e uē a hoʻopaʻi iā ia ma ka lawe ʻana i kahi kuleana, akā ʻoi aku ka hoʻomanawanui o ka makuahine a manaʻo ʻo ia ka hoʻopaʻi koʻikoʻi ʻaʻole kūpono.
Ma kahi o ke kamaʻilio ʻana i mua o kāu keiki, e kala mai no kekahi mau minuke. Kamaʻilio aku mai kāu keiki kāne aku. E hele mai i kahi ʻaelike a laila kūkā me kāu keiki.
E kōkua kēia iā ʻoe e hoʻomaʻamaʻa i kāu mau ʻokoʻa a lilo i kime makua makua mau no kāu keiki kāne.
5. Kūkākūkā a hāʻawi i kahi liʻiliʻi
Inā ʻokoʻa ʻoe i kāu kaila makua, a laila pono ʻoe ʻelua e hāʻawi i kahi o kāu mau manaʻo pilikino i hiki ai iā ʻoe ma ka ʻaoʻao like. E koi ana kēia i kahi liʻiliʻi o ke kūkā a me ka hoʻopili ʻana.
ʻO kahi laʻana, inā makemake maoli kāu ʻōpio i kāna iPhone ponoʻī, a ʻōlelo ka makuakāne ʻaʻole a ʻōlelo mai ka makuahine ʻae — hiki paha iā ʻolua ke kamaʻilio e noʻonoʻo ai i kahi ala e hāʻawi iki ai ʻolua.
Inā hiki iā ʻoe ke kūkākūkā e ʻōlelo e ʻae i kāu keiki e kiʻi i kekahi inā uku ʻo ia nona iho, a laila inā ʻoliʻoli ʻolua, lanakila nā mea āpau.
6. E hana i kahi papa hana i kūpono no nā mea āpau
E kiʻi i nā mea nui āpau e mālama i ka hauʻoli a me ke kaulike o kēlā me kēia. Ke kamaʻilio nei mākou i nā manawa moe, wā ʻai, hele ʻana o ka ʻohana, moe kolohe — ʻae, a me ka moekolohe.
Ke lawe ʻoe i nā keiki i loko o ka male, pono ʻoe e ʻoi aku ka makaʻala me ke ʻano o kou hoʻolilo ʻana i kou manawa, no laila ke hōʻoia nei i ka hoʻonohonoho ʻana i nā mea nui i mua.
7. E lilo i kime
Ua male ʻoe no ka mea aloha ʻoe i kekahi i kekahi. Maliʻa paha he ʻokoʻa kāu ma nā ʻano mākua, akā ʻike naʻe he pahuhopu like ʻolua - e hānai i nā keiki hoʻomaikaʻi maikaʻi, hauʻoli i ka home aloha.
Hauʻoli nā mākua, nā keiki hauʻoli!
Maopopo pehea e hauʻoli ai kāu wahine, hoʻāʻo e hoʻomaikaʻi i ka pilina me kāu wahine, e kaʻana like i ka ukana i kou hānai ʻana i kāu mau keiki, no laila ʻaʻohe mea e like me kā lākou hana hoʻokahi ʻana.
E nānā i ka ʻōlelo a ka poʻe loea.
8. E launa, e kamaʻilio, e launa pū
Me he mea lā ke hana hou nei mākou iā mākou iho, akā ke aʻo ʻana pehea e kamaʻilio maikaʻi ai ʻole kānalua kekahi o nā mākau pilina koʻikoʻi nui hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo e kōkua iā ʻoe e mālama i kāu ola male a me kou ola ma ke ʻano he mau mākua.
Ma hope o ka male ʻana no kekahi manawa, ʻike paha ʻoe i ka manawa wale nō āu e hakakā ai me kekahi i ka wā e wāwahi ai ke kamaʻilio ma waena o ʻolua. Pono ʻoe e hoʻomaʻamaʻa i kāu mākau kamaʻilio - pehea e kamaʻilio ai a i ka wā hea ʻoe e hoʻopaʻa ai i kahi kumuhana.
ʻO ka mālama ʻana i kāu male a me kāu mau keiki hiki ke hōʻoia he hana wāwahi hope loa ia no nā mea he nui. ʻO ka mea maʻamau, aia nā pilikia āu e makemake ai e launa pū me kāu hoa, akā koi kāu mau keiki i kāu nānā, keu hoʻi i ko lākou wā kamaliʻi.
Akā, mai hoʻomaka e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kahi kumuhana paʻakikī ma ka hola 3 i ka wā e hiamoe ʻole ai nā keiki, a ua luhi hoʻi ʻolua. E pau wale kēlā me ka huhū a me ka hakakā ʻana o ʻolua - ʻaʻole no ka huhū o kekahi i kekahi, akā no ka luhi a me ka huhū a ʻaʻole ʻike i kekahi ala ʻē aʻe e hōʻike ai iā ʻoe iho.
ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi inā hiki iā ʻoe ke lawe i ka manawa e aʻo ai pehea e kamaʻilio ai hoʻopili ai, ma mua o ka nānā ʻole ʻana i kāu hoa a hoʻokuʻu i kā lākou mau ʻōlelo i loko o hoʻokahi pepeiao a i waho o kekahi.
9. Prioritise oe ia oe iho a me kekahi i kekahi
No ka male hauʻoli me nā keiki, ʻo ka mālama ponoʻī kekahi o nā mākau pono e aʻo ai ʻoe ma ke ʻano he kāne a makua.
Maʻalahi e hoʻowahāwahā iā ʻoe iho ke loaʻa kāu mau keiki e kaukaʻi iā ʻoe a me ka wahine e koi ana i ka nānā liʻiliʻi āu i lilo ʻole ai i nā keiki, akā inā makemake ʻoe e kaulike i ka male a me ka makua, pono ʻoe e aʻo pehea e prioritize ai. ʻo ʻoe iho i kekahi manawa.
ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e haʻalele i kāu kuleana ʻē aʻe a i ʻole nā poʻe i kou ola. Ma kahi o, e kuhikuhi i ka manawa no ʻoe iho, ʻoiai inā he mea liʻiliʻi e like me ka lawe ʻana i 20 mau minuke e noʻonoʻo ai a hana ai paha.
I ka manawa like, pono ʻoe e aʻo pehea e prioritize ai kekahi i kekahi. E mālama kahi pēpē i nā keiki a hoʻonohonoho i kahi lā lā i hoʻokahi manawa ma ka mahina a i hoʻokahi manawa i kēlā me kēia pule ʻē aʻe, ke ʻae nā kālā. E luhi a kaumaha hoʻi ʻoe, keu hoʻi i nā mahina mua ma hope o ka hānau ʻana o kahi pēpē hou.
Ke hāʻawi nei i ka manawa no nā pō mau lā e hāʻawi ai iā ʻoe i ka manawa e hoʻomaha a aʻo hou i ka pehea e prioritize ai kekahi i kekahi, a he mea paʻakikī kēia me nā keiki liʻiliʻi ma ka home.
Prioritizing iā ʻoe iho, ʻo kāu mau keiki a me kāu male ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo ʻokoʻa. He mea hana kaulike ia, akā pono ia i ka holo lōʻihi.
10. Pāʻani me kāu poʻe keiki
Me he mea lā he manaʻo ko kēlā me kēia e pili ana i kahi e hānai ai ʻoe i kāu poʻe keiki. Hoʻokahi mea a mākou āpau e ʻaelike ai, eia nō naʻe, ʻaʻole pāʻani nā keiki ma waho e like me maʻa mau.
ʻOiai ʻo nā millennial i ulu aʻe i nā makahiki 1990 ka nui o ke kūʻokoʻa e ʻimi a pāʻani - a ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o nā hoʻoikaika e noho i loko o ka hale. Minamina, ua alakaʻi kēia hoʻololi i ka hoʻonui ʻia o nā keiki e ʻeha nei i ka momona o ka wā kamaliʻi.
I kēia manawa, ʻoi aku ma mua o 12 miliona mau keiki ma ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa e hāʻule i lalo o ka hoʻohālikelike ʻana o ka obese.
ʻO ke ala maʻalahi e hoʻoponopono i kēia pilikia, a i ʻole e hoʻoliʻiliʻi i kekahi o nā hopena, e hoʻolōʻihi i ka manawa e pāʻani ai me kāu poʻe keiki. E hele i waho a noho manawa me lākou ma ke kahua pāʻani ma kahi o ka noho ʻana ma ke keʻena a nānā iā lākou e pāʻani ana.
E kahaha paha ʻoe i kou leʻaleʻa, a kōkua pū ia iā ʻoe e kiʻi i kekahi cardio pū kekahi.
11. Mai hoʻohalahala no ka lawe manawa
Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe ka makua hemolele, hopohopo paha ʻoe e kamaʻilio ana nā poʻe e pili ana iā ʻoe ma hope o kou kua.
No laila pehea inā lākou? ʻOiai e hānai ʻia nā mea āpau o ka ʻohana, ʻaʻahu ʻia i ka lole, a hauʻoli hoʻi, mai manaʻo ʻino e pili ana i ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana i kekahi manawa nāu a i ʻole na ʻolua e pili hou.
ʻAʻole manaʻo pilikino ka mālama pilikino.
A, mālama pilikino me ka mālama pono ʻana i kou pilina me kāu hoa a i ʻole nā mea āu me kāu poʻe keiki, a me ka mālama ʻana iā ʻoe iho. ʻO kēia kahi e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke kaulike i kāu male a me kou makua ma ka manawa like.
12. Hana ma ia mea i kēlā me kēia lā
ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o ke kaulike ma waena o ka makua a me kāu male ʻana ʻaʻole e hana ʻia ma ka pō hoʻokahi. ʻAʻohe mea kūpono i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e hana.
Lawe i ka manawa e hoʻomaʻamaʻa a ʻike i kāu kaulike.
Pono ʻoe e hana ma luna ia mea i kēlā me kēia lā a malia paha aʻo hou i kekahi mau mākau, e like me ka mālama pono ʻana iā ʻoe iho, poina iā ʻoe i kāu huakaʻi e lilo i makua makua a i ʻole hoa. E mālama iā ʻoe iho, e mālama kekahi i kekahi, a ʻo nā mea āpau āpau e mālama iā ia iho.
13. ʻAi pū
Kaulana nō ka noho pū ʻana o kahi ʻohana e ʻai pū ana. No ka nui o ka hana o kou ola, noho mau ʻoe i lalo e ʻai pū ʻoiai ʻo ia ke kumu o ke aloha, hoʻokō, a me kahi papa ʻaina hōʻoluʻolu.
Ma waho aʻe, ʻike ʻia ka meaʻai ma ke ʻano he pilina o ka pilina hohonu. ʻLelo ʻia ka poʻe e pili kokoke ke ʻai lākou i ka meaʻai like a ʻai pū pū. E kōkua pū kēia manawa ʻohana kupaianaha iā ʻoe āpau e hānai i kahi pilina hohonu a kūkulu i nā pilina makua a me nā keiki maikaʻi.
14. Kukulu i nā hana
He mau hana maʻamau kēlā me kēia ʻohana. Ua iho mau lākou mai nā ʻohana a ke kāne a me ka wahine e hana hou i loko o ko lākou ola ma hope o ka male. Eia nō naʻe, pono e loaʻa kahi mau kaʻawale kaʻawale o kēlā me kēia ʻohana.
No nā kāne me nā keiki, hoʻāʻo e kūkulu a hoʻohanohano i ka loina no kou ʻohana- kahi mea āu e makemake ai i kāu mau keiki e hāpai i mua ke ulu a neʻe i ko lākou ola.
15. Mai hakakā i mua o kāu mau keiki
ʻO ka hakakā ʻana i mua o kāu poʻe keiki kahi hopena maikaʻi ʻole. Ke ulu nei lākou i ka ʻike ʻana i ko lākou mau mākua ma ke ʻano he kūlana kiʻekiʻe lākou, a ke ʻike lākou e hakakā ana, hoʻoweliweli lākou iā lākou. E hoʻokaʻawale kēia iā lākou mai ko lākou mau mākua a i ʻole e lawe i kahi ʻaoʻao.
Eia kekahi, e ulu nā keiki e kūkulu i nā pilina paʻa i ko lākou ola ke ʻike wale lākou i ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana o kā lākou mau mākua i kēlā paʻa.
Panina hopena
E loaʻa nā manawa paʻakikī i ka male akā me ke ala kūpono, hiki iā ʻoe ke kaulike i ka makua a me ka male me ka maʻalahi.
ʻAʻole wale kēia e kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻoikaika i kou pilina me kāu wahine akā e kōkua pū i ke kūkulu ʻana i kahi pilina ikaika a mahalo me kāu mau keiki, a e ulu aʻe lākou e lilo i kuleana i kā lākou pili.