Anter
- He aha ka pilina codependent?
- He aha ke ʻano o ka pilina codependent?
- Codependance a me ka pilina aloha
- No laila, pehea e hōʻoki ai i ka lilo i ka codependent i kāu pilina?
- Hiki paha i kahi mau codependents ke loaʻa kahi pilina olakino?
ʻIke mākou āpau i ke kī i nā pilina hauʻoli e nānā no kahi kuʻikahi ke paʻakikī nā mea.
Akā he aha ka hana a kahi hoa e ʻike ke hōʻemi nui nei lākou? ʻIke mau lākou iā lākou iho e hoʻokau i kā lākou iho ponoʻī, aloha aloha, a me ka ʻike ma ka hope hope, e hoʻohanohano nei i kā lākou hoa ma mua o lākou iho. He inoa ko nā Psychologists no kēia ʻano pilina: Ka pilina Codependent.
He aha ka pilina codependent?
ʻO Kauka Shawn Burn, kahi loea nāna i kākau e pili ana i ka codependency, a wehewehe i kēia mau pilina e like me ia: "Ma kahi pilina codependent, ke hana nei kekahi kanaka i ka hapa nui o ka mālama a nalowale pinepine iā lākou iho i ke kaʻina hana."
I ka pilina olakino, manaʻo like nā hoa ʻelua i ke kūlike i ka wā e pili ana i ka mālama ʻana i kekahi i kekahi, a mālama pū lāua i ko lāua ʻano o ka ʻike.
He aha ke ʻano o ka pilina codependent?
I nā pilina codependent, wehewehe ka mea codependent iā lākou iho i ka pilina a e hana i nā mea āpau e noho ai i loko, ʻoiai inā he ʻawahia.
Lawe lākou i nā "hana" āpau o ka pilina i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e lilo i mea nui i kā lākou hoa. Manaʻo lākou i ka hana ʻana i nā mālama āpau, e lilo kā lākou hoa iā lākou a ʻaʻole makemake e haʻalele iā lākou.
Aia ʻoe i loko o kahi pilina codependent? Inā manaʻo ʻoe aia ʻoe i loko o kahi pilina codependent, e nīnau iā ʻoe iho i nā nīnau aʻe:
- He haʻahaʻa kou manaʻo iā ʻoe iho?
- He pilikia paha kāu e kau nei i nā palena a me ka hoʻokō ʻana iā lākou?
- He poʻe ʻoluʻolu paha ʻoe, ʻo ka mea mua e hāʻawi manawaleʻa i nā mea, e ʻōlelo mau ana ʻAe?
- He paʻakikī paha kāu e hoʻomaopopo ai i kou mau manaʻo?
- Manaʻo ʻoe i ka ʻae o kāu hoa ma mua o kāu ʻae ponoʻī?
- Loaʻa iā ʻoe nā pilikia kamaʻilio?
- ʻO kou naʻau, hauʻoli a me ke kaumaha i kuhikuhi ʻia e ka naʻau o kāu hoa?
- Hāʻawi ʻoe i kahi manawa kupanaha i ka lā i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i kāu hoa?
- Nīnau mau paha ʻoe i kāu hoa inā aloha lākou iā ʻoe?
- Ke ʻimi nei ʻoe i ka hōʻoia mau mai kāu hoa ʻaʻole lākou e haʻalele iā ʻoe?
- Kau ʻoe i kāu pakanā ma kahi pae kiʻekiʻe, ke hoʻokau nei iā lākou?
- Hana ʻoe i nā kala no kāu hoa, e like me ka poina e hana i kahi mea āu i noi ai iā lākou e hana?
- Hele a hopohopo ʻoe inā ʻaʻole pane kāu pakanā i kāu leka a leka uila paha?
Codependance a me ka pilina aloha
Inā ʻoe i loko o kahi pilina aloha pilikino, mea nui e ʻike i kāu kuleana.
ʻO kekahi o ʻoe e hāʻawi, ʻo ka mea e hana i nā mālama āpau - a ʻo kekahi, ʻo ka mea lawe - ʻo ka mea e hoʻoluʻu i kēlā mālama.
Inā makemake ʻoe e kaulike hou i ka pilina e hana i ke olakino a kaulike hoʻi, he mea nui paha ka hana pū ʻana me ka mea hoʻoponopono therapist i mea e hoʻololi ai i kāu lawena paʻa.
Ma lalo o kā lākou alakaʻi, e aʻo ʻoe i ke kaulike hou ʻana i kāu mau kuleana, e hāʻawi ana i ka pilina i nā mea hou aʻe a lawe mai nā hoa ʻelua.
No laila, pehea e hōʻoki ai i ka lilo i ka codependent i kāu pilina?
ʻO ka mea mua, e ʻike ʻoe i ka lilo ʻana o ka codependent ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo he kanaka maikaʻi ʻole ʻoe.
Ke noho nei ʻoe i kahi ʻano hoʻopili āu i aʻo ai i kou wā kamaliʻi. Ua aʻo paha ʻoe i kahi manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole o ke aloha, ʻo ke aloha ke ʻano o ka mālama pono ʻana i ka mea ʻē aʻe, a i ʻole hele lākou.
I mea e hōʻoki ai i ka lilo i ka codependent i kāu pilina, e hoʻāʻo i nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo aʻe:
- E alualu i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo
- E lawe i kahi manawa "ʻo wau", e kōkua ana i ka hoʻoikaika ʻana i kou ʻano iho
- E aʻo i nā ʻike loea e kōkua iā ʻoe e leo i kou mau manaʻo a me kou mau makemake
- E hoʻomaʻamaʻa i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo me kāu hoa
- E hana i kāu pili ma waho; kou mau hoaaloha a me nā palapala paʻa ʻohana
- E hoʻoholo i kāu hoʻoholo ponoʻī me ke kūkākūkā ʻole ʻana i kāu pakanā a i ʻole ke ʻimi nei i kā lākou ʻae no ka hoʻoholo ma ka lima; pau ka nīnau ʻana iā lākou. ʻOiai no kekahi mea maʻalahi e like me "he aha kaʻu e ʻaʻa ai i ka pāʻina o kāu keʻena i kēia pō?" Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻoholo iā ʻoe iho!
- E hoʻokūpaʻa. E ʻike i kāu mea e makemake ai, a pili i kēlā
- E aʻo e hoʻohauʻoli iā ʻoe iho. Mai nānā i kāu hoa no kāu hauʻoli iho; hana i kēia iho
- Hoʻomaopopo he mea kūpono ʻole ke manaʻo i kāu hoa e lilo i kāu mea āpau. ʻAʻole hiki iā lākou kou makuahine, kou makuakāne, kāu keiki, kou hoapili a i ʻole kou kahunapule. ʻO kēia ke kumu nui o ka loaʻa ʻana o ka hoa aloha ma waho a hoʻonui i kou pili i kou ʻohana ponoʻī a me kou kaiāulu.
Ke ola nei ʻoe mai ka lilo i ka codependent, he mea nui e mālama iā ʻoe iho.
Aloha ʻoe iā ʻoe iho me ke ʻano o ke aloha āu e manaʻo ai mai kahi hoa. E lokomaikaʻi iā ʻoe iho, e hāʻawi iā ʻoe iho i nā mea kōkua no nā hana i hana maikaʻi ʻia.
ʻIke inā hoʻoholo kāu hoa e haʻalele i ka pilina, e maikaʻi ʻoe.
ʻAʻole e haʻalele ka honua i ka wili a hoʻomau ʻoe i ka hana i kāu ulu pilikino ponoʻī.
ʻO kēia kahi ʻāpana nui o ke kaʻina hana hoʻoponopono codependency.
Hiki paha i kahi mau codependents ke loaʻa kahi pilina olakino?
I ka mua, me he mea lā he pilina maikaʻi loa kēia.
Ma hope o nā mea āpau, leʻaleʻa ka mea hāʻawi i ka mālama ʻana i kā lākou hoa, a aloha ka mea lawe i kahi mea ʻē aʻe e hoʻokau iā lākou ma kahi pae kiʻekiʻe.
Akā i ka hala ʻana o ka manawa, e ulu ka mea hāʻawi e huhū i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ke hana nei lākou i nā hāpai kaumaha, ʻōlelo ʻuhane.
A nānā paha ka mea lawe i kāna hoa me ka nāwaliwali a palupalu.
ʻAʻole kēia ke kūlana olakino maikaʻi loa e ʻike iā ʻoe iho, ʻoiai hiki iā mākou ke ʻike i nā laʻana o nā pilina codependent i hala i mau makahiki a puni mākou. Akā e hoʻomanaʻo: ʻoiai he pili lōʻihi kēia, ʻaʻole ia he olakino.
Kūleʻa anei nā pilina codependent? Hiki i kahi mau codependents ke loaʻa kahi pilina olakino?
Hiki ke mau ka pilina Codependent, akā aia paha ka ʻelua mau kānaka e komo nei i kahi huhū o loko i ka like ʻole o nā hana a kēlā me kēia kanaka e noho nei i ka pilina.