Anter
- I kekahi manawa ʻaʻole hōʻike ka mea a mākou e ʻōlelo ai i ka manaʻo
- ʻO ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i nā mea āpau e koi ai i nā nīnau
- ʻO ka wehewehe hewa ʻana i nā manaʻo ʻoi ʻole e hōʻino i ka pilina
- ʻImi nā hoa i ka mahalo mai kekahi i kekahi
- E aʻo e wehe hou e pili ana i kāu mea e pono ai mai kāu pakanā
ʻO ia: Nui loa nā pila. Pono mākou e hana i kekahi mea.
ʻO ia: ʻĀ, hiki iaʻu ke hana i nā hola lōʻihi.
ʻO ia: inaina wau iā ʻoe e hana i kēlā, akā like ke ala hoʻokahi.
ʻO ia: E kamaʻilio wau me koʻu haku i ka lā ʻapōpō.
Ma hope o kekahi mau pule
ʻO ia: bushed wau, he lā lōʻihi hea!
ʻO ia: luhi loa ʻoe i ka hopena o ka lā. Hopohopo wau iā ʻoe. A mehameha me ka ʻole o ʻoe ma aneʻi.
ʻO ia: (huhū) Ua haʻi ʻoe iaʻu pono mākou i ke kālā!
ʻO ia: (Louder) Leha wau, no ke aha ʻoe i lohe ʻole ai i kēlā?
ʻO ia: (huhū mau) ʻōhumu, namunamu! He hoʻohenehene ʻoe. Hana wale wau i 12 mau hola.
ʻO ia: No ke aha wau e hoʻoluhi nei e kamaʻilio pū me ʻoe? ʻAʻole loa ʻoe e hoʻolohe.
A ke hele nei lākou i nā heihei, e huhū a huhū hoʻi kēlā me kēia, ke kuhi hewa ʻole a mahalo ʻole ʻia kēlā me kēia. Noʻu, he ʻano prototype kēia vignette no ka nele nui o ka kamaʻilio ʻana i nā pilina. E nānā kākou i nā mea i hewa, a no ke aha. A laila e nānā i ka mea e ʻokoʻa ai.
I kekahi manawa ʻaʻole hōʻike ka mea a mākou e ʻōlelo ai i ka manaʻo
Hoʻomaka lākou i ka maikaʻi. Hana pū lākou e hana me kahi pilikia o ke ola paʻakikī, kālā. Akā hoʻomaka lākou e kuhi hewa ʻole kekahi i kekahi. Manaʻo ʻo ia ke hoʻohewa nei ʻo ia iā ia, e haʻi ana iā ia ua hana hewa ʻo ia i ka hana ʻana i nā hola keu. Manaʻo ʻo ia ʻaʻohe ona manaʻo iā ia, a pehea kona ʻano. Ua hewa nā mea ʻelua.
ʻO ka pilikia o ke kamaʻilio ʻana ʻoiai mākou e noʻonoʻo nei i ka mea a mākou e ʻōlelo ai e hōʻike ana i ka mea a mākou e manaʻo ai, ʻaʻole ia. ʻO nā huaʻōlelo, nā huaʻōlelo, nā leo o ka leo, a me nā ʻōnohi he kuhikuhi wale i nā manaʻo, ʻaʻohe o lākou manaʻo iā lākou iho.
He lapuwale paha kēlā, akā eia kaʻu e ʻōlelo nei. ʻO Noam Chomsky, ke kākāʻōlelo, i wehewehe i nā makahiki i hala aku nei ka hoʻokaʻawale ma waena o ka "ʻano hohonu" kahi e noho ai nā manaʻo a me ka "ʻili honua" kahi o nā huaʻōlelo ponoʻī. ʻO ka huaʻōlelo luna "ke kipa ʻana i nā ʻohana hiki ke lilo i mea hoʻonāukiuki" ʻelua mau manaʻo ʻokoʻa (hohonu). (1) He mea hoʻonāukiuki ia i kekahi ke hele mai nā ʻohana e kipa, a (2) He mea hoʻonāukiuki ka hele ʻana o kekahi e kipa i nā ʻohana. Inā loaʻa i kekahi manaʻo kekahi mau manaʻo ʻelua, a laila ʻaʻole like ka manaʻo a me ka ʻōlelo. Pēlā nō, ua hōʻike ʻo Schank lāua ʻo Abelson i ka ʻike pinepine ʻana o ka ʻike kaiapili. Inā haʻi wau iā ʻoe ua hele kekahi kāne i loko o McDonald's a hele aku me kahi ʻeke, a nīnau wau iā ʻoe i ka mea i loko o ka ʻeke, e pane paha ʻoe i ka “ʻai” a i ʻole “burger”. ʻO ka ʻike aʻu i hāʻawi aku ai iā ʻoe, ʻo ia wale nō 1. Ua hele ʻo ia i loko o McDonald's, a 2. Ua hele ʻo ia i waho me kahi ʻeke.
Akā lawe ʻoe i kou ʻike āpau me nā ʻike me McDonald's, ke kūʻai ʻana i ka meaʻai wikiwiki, a me nā mea āu e ʻike ai i ke ola a huki i ka hopena luʻuluʻu loa i aneane maoli ka meaʻai i loko o ka ʻeke. Eia nō naʻe, he manaʻo ʻē aʻe i hala ma mua o ka ʻike i hōʻike ʻia ma luna.
ʻO ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i nā mea āpau e koi ai i nā nīnau
ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ua hana ʻia ke kaʻina hana he nui me ka noʻonoʻo ʻole, wikiwiki loa, a inā nō wau e nīnau iā ʻoe i kekahi mau lā ma hope ka mea i hana ʻia i loko o ka moʻolelo ʻo ka pane paha "he kāne i kūʻai i ka meaʻai ma McDonald's", ʻaʻole "kahi kāne lawe i kahi ʻeke mai waho o McDonald's. ” ʻO ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i nā mea āpau e koi ai i nā nīnau. ʻAʻole hiki ke alo aʻe. A pololei paha ʻoe e pili ana i ka mea i hana ʻia me kēia kanaka. Akā loaʻa kaʻu mau kāne ma aneʻi i kahi pilikia no ka mea ua manaʻo hewa lākou i kēlā me kēia manaʻo mai nā ʻōlelo i hāʻawi ʻia. ʻAʻole kūlike nā manaʻo i loaʻa i nā manaʻo i hoʻouna ʻia aku. E nānā i kēia i kahi kokoke loa e maopopo ai i ke koʻikoʻi o ke kamaʻilio ʻana i ka male.
ʻO ka wehewehe hewa ʻana i nā manaʻo ʻoi ʻole e hōʻino i ka pilina
ʻLelo ʻo ia, “bushed ... Akā ʻo ka mea āna e lohe ai, "ʻeha au." Ma muli o kona manaʻo iā ia ua pane ʻo ia, "Ua luhi loa ʻoe ..." He aha kāna manaʻo "ʻike wau iā ʻoe e ʻeha ana, a makemake wau e ʻike ʻoe ua ʻike wau a mālama wau." Ke hoʻāʻo nei ʻo ia e empathize. Akā ʻo ka mea āna i lohe ai "ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e hana nui, a laila ʻaʻole ʻoe e luhi." Lawe ʻo ia i ka hoʻopiʻi, a kaulike ʻole.
Pākuʻi ʻo ia, "mehameha wau" ʻO kāna mea e makemake ai e hōʻoia ʻo ia iā ia ʻeha pū kekahi. Akā ua lohe ʻo ia, "e mālama ana ʻoe iaʻu akā akā ʻehaʻeha mai ʻoe iaʻu: ke hana hewa nei ʻoe." No laila pane ʻo ia ma ka pale ʻana i kāna hana e hōʻoia ʻaʻole kāna hana hewa, "Ua haʻi ʻoe iaʻu ..." ʻOiai ʻo ia e pale ana iā ia iho, ua lohe ʻo ia iā ia iho ua hoʻopiʻi ʻia, a no laila ʻaʻole i loaʻa iā ia ka mea āna e makemake ai ( ua ʻeha ʻo ia) ua ʻōlelo hou ʻo ia i kāna ʻōlelo me ka ikaika loa, “mehameha au.” A lawe ʻo ia i kēlā me kahi pāpā hou, no laila hakakā ʻo ia me ka inaina hou aku. A māhuahua ka maikaʻi.
ʻImi nā hoa i ka mahalo mai kekahi i kekahi
Ke ʻimi nei ʻo ia i ka pili a me ka pilina ma o ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana i nā manaʻo, a i nā mea ʻeha hoʻi. A keʻimi nei ʻo ia i ka mahalo no kāna mālama ʻana iā ia i nā ʻano hana. Minamina, ʻaʻole e loaʻa ka manaʻo i manaʻo ʻia e kekahi ʻē aʻe ʻoiai maopopo loa kēlā me kēia maopopo iā lākou i ke ʻano o ka manaʻo o ka mea ʻē aʻe. A no laila pane kēlā me kēia i kahi manaʻo i lohe ʻole ʻia ʻoiai e nalo ana i ke ʻano i manaʻo ʻia. A ʻo ka nui o kā lākou hoʻāʻo ʻana e hoʻomaopopo i ka mea ʻē aʻe, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hakakā. ʻO Tragic, maoli, no ka mea ʻo ka mālama ʻana o kekahi i kekahi e hāʻawi wale i ka ikaika i ka ʻeha ʻana o kekahi i kekahi.
Pehea e hele ai i waho o kēia? ʻEkolu hana: non-personalize, empathize, a wehewehe. ʻO ke kumu ʻole pilikino e aʻo e haʻalele i ka ʻike ʻana i nā leka e pili ana iā ʻoe. Hiki paha i nā leka ke hoʻopili iā ʻoe akā ʻaʻole ia e hōʻike iā ʻoe. ʻO kāna "Mākou mehameha" ʻaʻole ia he ʻōlelo e pili ana iā ia. He ʻōlelo e pili ana iā ia, a huli kuhi hewa ʻo ia i loko o kahi ʻōlelo e pili ana iā ia iho, kahi mea hoʻohewa iā ia a me kāna mau hana. Ua kuhi ʻo ia i kēlā manaʻo, a ua hewa ia. ʻOiai kāna "Ua haʻi ʻoe iaʻu" i kuhikuhi iā ia ʻaʻole nō e pili ana iā ia. ʻO ia e pili ana i kona ʻano mahalo ʻole ʻia a hoʻopiʻi hewa ʻia. Lawe kēia iā mākou i ka empathize ʻāpana.
Pono kēlā me kēia e komo i nā kāmaʻa o kekahi, ke poʻo, ka puʻuwai. Pono kēlā me kēia e noʻonoʻo pono i ka manaʻo a me ka ʻike ʻē aʻe, no hea lākou e hele mai ai, a nānā i ka mea ma mua o ka noʻonoʻo ʻana a nui a wikiwiki paha. Ua hiki iā lākou ke empathize pololei hiki iā ia ke mahalo ua pono ʻo ia e lohe ʻia, a hiki iā ia ke mahalo e pono ana iā ia i kahi ʻae.
E aʻo e wehe hou e pili ana i kāu mea e pono ai mai kāu pakanā
ʻO ka hope, pono kēlā me kēia e wehewehe. Pono ʻo ia e wehe ākea e pili ana i ka mea e pono ai, makemake ʻo ia e ʻike mahalo ʻo ia i kāna hana nui a kākoʻo iā ia. A pono ʻo ia e hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻaʻole ʻo ia manaʻo e haʻi iā ia ua hana hewa ʻo ia, akā paʻakikī ka hele ʻole ʻana iā ia, ua aloha ʻo ia iā ia no ka mea makemake ʻo ia e noho pū me ia, a ʻike ʻo ia ke ʻano o kēia manawa . Pono ʻo ia e wehewehe i ka mea i lohe ʻia e like me ia. Pono lākou e wehewehe i ka manaʻo a me ka manaʻo ʻole. I kēia, ʻaʻole lawa ka ʻōlelo hoʻokahi, ʻoiai ke kuhi nei ka hapanui o mākou he kāne. ʻO ka nui o nā ʻōlelo, pili nā mea āpau i ka manaʻo paʻa like "triangulate" ma ka memo a ma laila e wehewehe ai no kekahi. Kōkua kēlā i ka ʻōlelo i hāʻawi ʻia e kūlike me ka manaʻo i loaʻa.
Lawe hope loa
ʻO ke kuhi, ʻo ia ka kamaʻilio ʻana i nā kāne a me nā wahi ʻē aʻe no kēlā mea, he hana paʻakikī. ʻO ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a ka male maikaʻi loa no ka hoʻopilikia ʻana i nā pilikia o ka wahine, ʻo ia ka nānā ʻana i ka hana pilikino ʻole ʻana, ka empathizing ʻana, a me ka wehewehe ʻana hiki ke kōkua i nā kāne e hōʻalo i nā pilikia kūpono ʻole, a hiki ke hoʻokokoke loa iā lākou. ʻO ke kamaʻilio maikaʻi aku i ka male ka mea mua i kahi pilina hauʻoli a hoʻokō pū me kāu wahine.