Anter
- He aha ka kamaʻilio male olakino i ka male?
- Pehea mākou e kamaʻilio ai a pehea mākou e kamaʻilio ai
- Pehea ʻoe e pane ai a pane ʻole
- Nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e pili ana i ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i ka kamaʻilio ma ka male
- 5 Hana a hana ʻole o ke kamaʻilio pālua
ʻO ke kamaʻilio male ka hoʻokumu o kahi male ikaika a ulu.
ʻO ka male pinepine ka paʻakikī. ʻO ia ka mea e hāʻawi i ko mākou ola i ke ʻano ʻoi aku ka nui ma mua o ka ʻole, akā hiki ke lilo i mea paʻakikī loa, e hoʻopono.
Wahi a nā kākāʻōlelo male a me nā mea hoʻoponopono, ʻo ka mea paʻakikī ke hiki ʻole i ka hoa ke kamaʻilio maikaʻi. ʻO nā mākau kamaʻilio o nā kāne ka mea maʻamau, nalowale pinepine i ka male ʻana i kūleʻa ʻole.
He aha ka kamaʻilio male olakino i ka male?
Ma ka laulaha, ʻo kēlā me kēia kamaʻilio pololei ʻole a manipulative hiki ke manaʻo ʻia he olakino a hua ʻole.
Ke lōʻihi nā pilikia o ka kamaʻilio ʻana ma ka male male, he hōʻailona ia no ka nele o ka mahalo, ke aloha, a me ka hilinaʻi i ka pilina, a laila ke alakaʻi nei i kahi pilina i hoʻoheheʻe ʻia.
ʻO ia ke kumu o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa maikaʻi ʻana i ka pilina ma ke ʻano he kī i kekahi male kūleʻa.
ʻO ke kumu o kēia, ʻo ke kamaʻilio male maikaʻi ma waena o nā kāne e pono ai ke kikoʻī, maopopo, maʻalahi, a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.
ʻAʻole nā mākau kamaʻilio male i kekahi ʻepekema rocket, akā pono ʻoe e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ka hana ʻana i ka hana e pono ai i nā ala e hoʻoponopono ai i ka nele o ke kamaʻilio i ka male a hoʻomaikaʻi i ka kamaʻilio i ka pilina.
Hoʻomaopopo ka ʻatikala i ka pehea e kamaʻilio ai me kāu wahine, nā kumu e alakaʻi ai i ka ʻole o ke kamaʻilio ʻana i ka male a me nā ala e hoʻokumu ai i ka kamaʻilio maikaʻi i ka male.
Palapala 101
Pehea mākou e kamaʻilio ai a pehea mākou e kamaʻilio ai
I mea e maopopo ai pehea e kamaʻilio maikaʻi ai me kāu wahine, e nānā i kēia hiʻohiʻona e hoʻokūkala nei i nā hana a me nā mea pono ʻole e kamaʻilio ai a me ka pono no ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i ka kamaʻilio ʻana i ka male.
E ʻōlelo mākou e kamaʻilio ana ke kāne a me ka wahine i kekahi i kekahi a ua koi ikaika ʻo ia i kāna ala e ʻūlū ai no kahi huakaʻi hele ʻole i ʻae ʻia e ia.
ʻElua ala o ka pane ʻana i ua noi lā (a me kekahi mau ʻano ʻokoʻa) - pololei a pololei hoʻi, a kūlike ʻole a ʻino hoʻi (passive a agresive paha). E ʻike iā mākou pehea e kamaʻilio maʻamau ai a no ke aha e hoʻopōʻino ai kēia i kā mākou pilina.
I kēia laʻana, hiki i ke kāne ke huli i kā lāua keikikāne a ʻōlelo, i loko o kahi leo hoʻomākeʻaka: "Yep, ʻike mau kou momma i nā mea āpau."
ʻO kēia kahi hiʻohiʻona hiʻohiʻona o ke kamaʻilio pololei ʻole i maʻa mau i nā male male a ke kumu hou nei ka hauʻoli ʻole no nā hoa ʻelua. Ma waho aʻe o ke kuhi hewa ʻole, hoʻonāukiuki ia i kahi triangulation pū (ke pili ke kolu o ka ʻohana i ka hoʻololi ma waena o nā kāne).
Inā mākou e kālailai i kēia hoʻololi, hiki iā mākou ke ʻike he passive-agresive ke kāne.
Ua hōʻike ʻo ia i kāna kūlike ʻole i ke ala kūʻokoʻa loa ma ke kuhi ʻana e kamaʻilio ana ʻo ia me kāna keiki ma mua o kāna wahine, a ua waiho pū ʻo ia i kēia mea he mea hoʻomākeʻaka.
No laila, inā pili pololei ka wahine i kēia hoʻonāukiuki, e loaʻa iā ia ka pale o ka hoʻomāʻewaʻewa wale a kamaʻilio pū ʻana me kā lāua keikikāne, ʻoiai maopopo leʻa kāna hana.
I kēia manawa, e ʻōlelo paha ʻoe ʻaʻole maikaʻi kēia, ke hoʻāʻo nei ʻo ia e hōʻalo i nā hakakā.
Akā, e nānā i kēia kūkaʻa i kahi hohonu loa. ʻAʻole kamaʻilio kolohe ke kāne a ʻaʻole ia he passive-agresive wale nō, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i kamaʻilio i kona manaʻo.
ʻAʻole ʻo ia i noi i kahi ala ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka ʻūlū ʻana, i kona manaʻo, a ʻaʻole ʻo ia i hōʻike i kona mau manaʻo e pili ana i ka noi a kāna wahine (a i ʻole ke ala e kamaʻilio ai iā ia inā ʻo ia ka mea e hoʻopilikia iā ia).
ʻAʻole i loaʻa iā ia kekahi leka mai iā ia mai, kahi hōʻailona o ka kamaʻilio maikaʻi ʻole ʻana o ka wahine.
Pehea ʻoe e pane ai a pane ʻole
No laila, pehea e launa pū ai me kāu hoa me ka ʻole o ka lawe ʻana i ka ea āpau? E hoʻomaopopo pehea e hoʻoponopono ai i ka kamaʻilio i loko o kahi pilina i nā ʻano ʻano like, e ʻike pehea e hiki ai iā ia ke pane i kahi ala ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi.
Kuhi kēia laʻana pehea e launa maikaʻi ai me kāu wahine.
Hiki iā mākou ke kuhi ua huhū ʻo ia i ka leo o kāna wahine no ka mea ua unuhi ʻo ia i kāna ala e kuhikuhi ai i kona hemahema.
ʻO ke ala kūpono o ka pane ʻana e lilo i mea e like me:
Ua lilo koʻu makemake e komo i ka hoʻomākaukau no ka hana aʻu e ʻoliʻoli ʻole ai. Hāʻawi wau i ka hoʻokaʻawale i nā kuleana - e hana wau i ka papa inoa o nā mea e pono ai e lawe pū me mākou, a hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻūlū.
Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻololi i ʻekolu mau mea ma kēlā papa inoa, a hiki iaʻu ke hoʻoponopono hou ʻekolu mea i loko o ka pahu. Ma kēlā ala, e hana ʻelua i kā mākou mau ʻāpana, a ʻaʻohe mea e hakakā ai. E ʻae pū paha ʻoe me kēlā? ”
ʻO ka hana a ke kāne i kēia ʻano o ka pane ʻana, ʻo ia ke ʻano kūpaʻa - ua hōʻike ʻo ia i kona mau manaʻo a me kāna wehewehe ʻana i ke ʻano o kāna wahine, a ua wehewehe ʻo ia i nā hopena o ia ʻano hana iā ia.
E hoʻomaopopo ʻaʻole ʻo ia i hoʻohana i nā ʻōlelo hoʻopaʻi “ʻo ʻoe”, akā mālama ʻia i kona ʻike.
Ua noi ʻo ia i kahi hopena, a ua noi hope iā ia e kau pū me ia ma ia mea a hāʻawi iā ia i ka manawa kūpono e hōʻike ai i kona manaʻo no kēia manaʻo.
ʻO ia kamaʻilio ʻana he ʻoiaʻiʻo, pololei, noʻonoʻo a hana pū kekahi, no ka mea ua hoʻokokoke aku lākou i ka hoʻonā ʻana i kahi pilikia kūpono me ka hana ʻole ʻana i kuahiwi mai kahi molehill.
Nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e pili ana i ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i ka kamaʻilio ma ka male
Manaʻo paha ʻoe he paʻakikī ka paʻakikī i ka male, a malia paha he kūlohelohe ia. A paʻakikī ke kiʻi ʻana i laila, a e kamaʻilio pū me kā mākou poʻe i aloha ai (ka mea e hoʻonāukiuki pinepine iā mākou) i kahi ʻano mālie, kūpilikiʻi a ʻaʻole kani robotic i ka manawa like.
Eia nō naʻe, ʻo kahi ala e kamaʻilio ai i kāu wahine hiki ke hāʻawi i nā hopena ʻē aʻe ma mua o ka hakakā, ka huhū, a me ka mamao mamao paha.
Ma ke ʻano assertive mahalo ʻoe i ko lākou mau manaʻo a me kou pilina ke hōʻike nei i kāu pono i ka manawa like. A mamao loa kēia mai ka robotic - hoʻohanohano ʻoe i ke kanaka āu e aloha ai, a iā ʻoe iho a me kou ʻike, a me nā ala hāmama no ke kamaʻilio kūlohelohe a aloha ʻana i ka wā e hoʻopau ana i nā pilikia kamaʻilio maʻamau i ka male.
E kamaʻilio maikaʻi aku ai me kāu wahine, i kēlā me kēia lā eia ke ʻano o nā hoʻomaʻamaʻa kamaʻilio male maikaʻi loa, e kōkua iā ʻoe e kamaʻilio me ka hua ʻole me kāu hoa.
He mea kōkua nō hoʻi e nānā i kekahi mau hana kamaʻilio ikaika no nā kāne e kōkua iā ʻolua i ka hānai ʻana i kahi male hauʻoli a olakino hoʻi, ma waho o ka hoʻopili ʻana i ka kamaʻilio male.
Eia kekahi, e nānā i kēia wikiō pehea e kamaʻilio maikaʻi ai me ka wahine.
5 Hana a hana ʻole o ke kamaʻilio pālua
Pono ʻole ke kamaʻilio pilikino me ka pololei, akā aia nō nā hana a me nā hana ʻole o ka wehe, ke olakino a me ka pilina maikaʻi.
E nānā i kēia mau helu i ka mea e hoʻomanaʻo ai ke kamaʻilio pū kekahi me kekahi.
- Mai hoʻoikaika i kou manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole i kāu kamaʻilio ʻana e pili ana i ka mea i nalowale i kāu kamaʻilio ʻana. E alakaʻi wale kēia i kahi mamao hoʻonui i kāu pilina.
- Mai lilo i mea keʻakeʻa mau. E hoʻolohe me ke aloha, a mai kamaʻilio me kāu wahine.
- Hanamahalo i ka loaʻa o ka manawa o kekahi e kamaʻilio.
- Inā manaʻo ʻoe ʻaʻole pono lako e hoʻohuli i ka kamaʻilio maikaʻi ʻole i ka male ʻana, ʻimi i ke kōkua ʻoihana e hōʻoki i nā ʻano kamaʻilio maikaʻi ʻole a hiki i kāu mau pahuhopu kamaʻilio.
- E haʻi i kou mahalo no ka liʻiliʻi o nā hana a kāu wahine, nā lanakila iki a me ka kūleʻa pū ʻana ma ke ʻano he kāne ʻelua.
- Ke hele a hewahewa kāu hoʻolālā maikaʻi loa, mai hōʻeha i kāu wahine a iā ʻoe iho paha. E hōʻole i ka hoʻokolokolo a maʻalahi ʻole. E hoʻomanaʻo, koho ʻoe i kou manaʻo i kou ʻano.
- Heluhelu i kekahi o nā puke ʻoi loa o ka male e aʻo e pili ana i ke kūkulu ʻana i kahi male olakino a me ka launa kamaʻilio pū ʻana. Malia paha i kāu pō lā aʻe, hiki iā ʻoe ke cuddle a heluhelu pū e hoʻomaʻamaʻa i kāu male.
Mai nānā i kēia mau hana a me nā hana ʻole o ka mākau kamaʻilio ʻoiai ʻo lākou nā ala nui e kūkulu ai a hoʻomau i ke kamaʻilio kūpono i ka male.