Anter
- Ka hopena o ka hilinaʻi ʻole o ka naʻau
- No ke aha e laha nui ai ka hilinaʻi kolohe?
- ʻAʻohe 'hoʻopunipuni' no ka mea ʻaʻohe 'sex'
ʻO ka infidelity kahi manaʻo maʻalahi. Hoʻoholo kekahi i kahi hoʻoholo e hemo i waho o kā lākou pilina mua. ʻAʻole akaka loa ka hilinaʻi ʻole o ka naʻau no ka mea ʻaʻole pili wale kēlā lawehala i ka pilina kanaka. ʻAʻole wale ia, akā i kekahi manawa ʻaʻole like ke ʻano o ka hilinaʻi ʻole i ka naʻau me he lawehala lā.
Hiki i ka manaʻo o ka moekolohe hilahila ʻole ke pili i nā pilina platonic-ʻo ka moekolohe like a i ʻole ke kāne ʻē aʻe - a me nā hana, nā hana, nā ex, nā hoahānau, ʻohana nui, nā leʻaleʻa a me nā keiki hoʻi. Aia kekahi cadre o nā kāne ma ka East Coast e kuhikuhi nei iā lākou iho ʻo Wall Street Widows a Widowers paha. ʻO ia kahi laʻana o ka infidelity ʻona ʻole interpersonal i kona piko.
Ka hopena o ka hilinaʻi ʻole o ka naʻau
ʻO ka hilinaʻi ʻole i ka naʻau kahi kūlana kahi o kahi kekelē o ka hiki ʻole o ka manaʻo ma ka ʻaoʻao o kahi hoa ke keʻakeʻa nei i ka hānai ʻana i kekahi ʻano o ka pilina mua. Pale kēia mamao naʻau i ka hoa mai laila. Hoʻopili ia i ka maikaʻi o ka pilina ma ke ʻano he nui.
ʻIke loa, ʻo ke ʻano maopopo ʻole o ka moekolohe hilahila ʻole e pili ana i kekahi kanaka. Inā kokoke ma ka lima, a i ʻole ma kahi mamao, hoʻonāukiuki a i ʻole mea manawaleʻa kēlā kanaka no ka pilina pseudo-pilialoha a i ʻole pseudo-moe pilina me kekahi mea ʻē aʻe. ʻO ke kumu, he haki i pānaʻi ʻia, akā ʻaʻole i hana maoli ʻia.
No ke aha e laha nui ai ka hilinaʻi kolohe?
ʻO kekahi mau mea he ʻoiaʻiʻo: ʻo ka mea mua, ka ulu ʻana o ka kamaʻilio a me ka hiki ke kamaʻilio me nā mea wale nō, ma nā wahi āpau e hoʻonui ai i ka manawa kūpono no ka infidelity aloha kanaka. ʻO ka lua, ʻo ke ʻano o ke kanaka ka mea i waiho ʻole ʻia a ke hōʻike ʻia me kahi manawa kūpono, e loaʻa kēia manawa kūpono i nā manawa āpau.
ʻO kahi mea ʻē aʻe e noʻonoʻo ai ka manaʻo holoʻokoʻa o ka wīwī, a i ʻole, i ke kālā i kahi huaʻōlelo, 'o ka hele ʻole e ulu i ka puʻuwai. I ka hihia o ka infidelity interpersonal emosional, like ia, 'o ka nele ke hana i kahi moemoeā, moʻolelo aloha a ka puʻuwai e kūʻai ai i loko. Hoʻonui ka paʻa mau o ka kamaʻilio uila i kēia ʻano pilina a hoʻonui hou i kāna kuhi hewa. ʻO Paradoxically, ʻoiai ʻo ka ʻole o kahi mea aloha e hoʻonui ai i ka makemake, ʻo ke kū mau o kahi ipo-i kahi mamao e hoʻolilo i kēlā kanaka i lāʻau lapaʻau.
No laila, aia kekahi kumu — kahi waiwai nui o ka hiki ke kamaʻilio — a me ka manawa kūpono, ka mea i kipaku ʻia, ma kekahi ʻāpana, e kēlā hoʻoulu kamaʻilio ʻana.
Ma waho o ka hoʻonāukiuki hou aʻe e loaʻa ai i kekahi no ka hele ʻana ma waho o kāna pilina mua, aia ʻekolu mau mea e like me ke kikowaena o ka hilinaʻi ʻole i ka naʻau.
- Makau
- Palekana
- Pākuʻi lākou i ke kaulike
ʻO ka makaʻu ka makaʻu i ka makemake ʻole e hopu ʻia 'hana i kekahi mea' hoʻopili ʻia i ke kuhihewa o ka palekana i hana ʻia e ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole 'hana i kekahi mea'.
E kau i nā ʻōlelo o kēia kaulike, manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole ka naʻau ʻole. ʻAʻohe mea hoʻoweliweli e hopu ʻia me kahi mea hana, kahu hānai a mea ʻaelike paha, ʻokoʻa ka pilina moekolohe ʻole. Eia kekahi, ʻo ka manawa o ka hoʻopili ʻana me kekahi āu i launa pū ai ma ka pūnaewele ma hope o ka hana pū ʻana me kāu wahine, keiki, hana a me nā hana. No laila, pili paʻa ka pilina cyber i ka pili o ka naʻau a ʻaʻohe mea hou aʻe.
Ke iho pono ʻoe i lalo a me ka noʻonoʻo pono ʻole, ʻo ka hilinaʻi ʻole i ka naʻau kahi hōʻike o ka pono a i ʻole makemake e haʻalele iā ʻoe iho mai ka pilina mua o kekahi, ʻoiai ʻaʻole e haʻalele. Aia kēlā paradox ma ka puʻuwai o ka pilikia, a ʻo ia nō hoʻi ka mea e wehewehe ai i ka moekolohe hilahila me he mea ʻaʻole like like, akā ma ka liʻiliʻi e like me ka moe kolohe.
ʻAʻohe 'hoʻopunipuni' no ka mea ʻaʻohe 'sex'
ʻO kekahi hiʻohiʻona o ka hōʻeuʻeu hou aku i nā mea paʻakikī, no ka hoa kolohe ʻole, ʻaʻohe ʻano maoli o ka lawehala no ka mea, i loko o kona manaʻo, ʻaʻohe mea e hana nei. ʻO Plainly kau, ʻaʻohe 'hoʻopunipuni' no ka mea ʻaʻohe moekolohe.
Hiki i ka infidelity emosional non-interpersonal ke — a pinepine pinepine ʻia — e noʻonoʻo pono ʻia e like me ka mea e pono ai: nā hola lōʻihi, ka hoʻomaha ʻana, ka hana ʻana, a pēlā aku.
Ke waiho nei kēia mau mea i hoʻokahi hoa i ke kūlana hoihoi o ka hana ʻana me nā huhū āpau, ʻeha a me ka hōʻole ʻia e pili ana i kahi hihia, ʻoiai ka mea ʻē aʻe e huki wale i kēlā mau manaʻo a loaʻa ʻole ka mea nui. Ma hope o nā mea āpau, hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻia mākou mai ka wā ʻōpio ke hana mākou i waho, aia nā hopena. Hoʻomaopopo ka hapanui o mākou i kēlā, ʻo ia ka mea āpau 'inā wau e hana nei i kekahi mea, akā ʻaʻole wau e hana maoli i kekahi mea, ma hea kahi ʻino a ke hoʻopiʻi nei ʻoe' hoʻopaʻapaʻa loaʻa nā wāwae.
Hoʻokuʻu ʻia ka hilinaʻi ʻole i ka hopena o ka umekaumaha ma ke kumu like no ke aha e lawe ai mākou i nā lako manuahi mai ke keʻena. Hana mākou i kēlā no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻeha ia i kekahi. Akā ʻaʻole ia e hoʻololi i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o ka ʻaihue. Pēlā nō hoʻi i ka naʻaupō naʻau ʻole akā hiki ke ʻike ʻia akā ke hoʻopunipuni nei nō ia.