Anter
- 1. Mai pili i kā lākou pili
- 2. Mai komo i ka hana makua
- 3. Hāʻawi i ke kōkua
- 4. Mai hoʻokaumaha iā lākou
ʻO Adamu lāua ʻo Eve e pani i ka male male archetypal, ke kāne maikaʻi a hauʻoli hoʻi i kū pū i ka pilikia a noho male no ko lāua ola lōʻihi. He aha ka mea huna o kēia hoʻokō? ʻAʻohe o kekahi makuahōnōwai wahine.
ʻO ka hoʻomākeʻaka i ka law-law i kahi moʻomeheu i ka moʻomeheu ʻAmelika, ʻoiai ʻaʻohe noiʻi e hōʻike ana he ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka male ʻana o nā keiki makua ʻole i ka poʻe nona nā mākua e ola nei. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, hiki i nā makuahōnōwai ke lilo i kumu nui o ke kākoʻo i ka male, inā pāʻani pono lākou i kā lākou kāleka.
Eia kekahi mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pehea e huki ai i kēia:
1. Mai pili i kā lākou pili
ʻO kēlā ka lula # 1, e nā makamaka. ʻO ka male o kāu keiki kā lākou male ʻole, ʻaʻole kāu male male. ʻAʻohe ou kuleana e pili ana i kā lāua pilikia ma ka male. Inā lākou e loaʻa nei i nā pilikia pili pili, hāʻawi aloha a kākoʻo i kāu keiki / hūnōna kāne kupanaha ia; ke komo ʻana i nā paio ʻaʻole. Heʻoiaʻiʻo loa kēia inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e noi ʻia e komo - akā he ʻoiaʻiʻo nō ia inā ʻoe he noi e komo. ʻO ka komo ʻana ma waena o ka hakakā male ka hana a ke kākāʻōlelo, ʻaʻole ka makua.
Heʻoiaʻiʻo kēia no nā kumu he nui:
- ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke lilo i kumu i kahi hanana e ʻeha ai kāu keiki.
- Lilo ka paʻakikī i ka hele ʻana i waho o ka waena ke komo ʻoe i loko.
- ʻOiai ʻoe e hele i waho, ʻaʻole ʻoe e lohe pinepine i ke ʻano o ka hoʻonā. No laila inā he pupuka kāu hūnōna kāne, lohe paha ʻoe e pili ana i kēlā, akā ʻaʻole ʻoe e lohe ua kala aku ʻo ia a hoʻoponopono hou i nā mea ma hope. Hāʻaleʻale kēlā iā ʻoe i ke kāne a kāu kaikamahine, ʻoiai ua poina paha iā ia ka mea i hana ʻia. ʻO ka mea ʻē aʻe i kēia lula inā ʻike ʻoe i kahi pilikia maoli o kāu keiki mai kāna wahine. I kēlā hihia e koi ʻia e komo, ʻoiai me ka ʻole o ka noi ʻia.
2. Mai komo i ka hana makua
He paʻakikī loa i nā mākua ke nānā i kā lākou mau keiki e hānai i kā lākou keiki ponoʻī i nā ala a lākou e ʻae ʻole ai a ʻae pū ai paha. A maʻalahi wale ke paheʻe i loko o ka hāʻawi aʻoaʻo ʻana, hoʻoponopono ʻana, a me ka hoʻohewa ʻana. Ke hoʻokō nei kēia mau mea āpau i kahi kānana i kou pilina me kāu poʻe keiki makua. Inā makemake kāu mau keiki i kāu ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo, e noi lākou iā ʻoe no ia. Inā ʻaʻole lākou, e manaʻo ʻaʻole makemake lākou. Eia hou, ke empathizing nei me kā lākou mau hakakā (a he paʻakikī ko nā mākua āpau) a he mea nui. He ala maikaʻi kēlā e kōkua ai i kāu keiki a me kāu hūnōna kāne me ke koʻikoʻi o ka hānau keiki. ʻO ka haʻi ʻana iā lākou i kā lākou hana hewa ʻana, ʻaʻole ia. (Eia hou, ʻo ka ʻokoʻa i kēia inā makaʻu ʻoe i ka weliweli maoli o kāu moʻopuna.)
3. Hāʻawi i ke kōkua
Hāʻawi kēia i ke kōkua i kāu keiki a me kāu hūnōna makemake lākou. E ʻike he aha kēlā, e nīnau iā lākou!
Inā lākou e hakakā nei e hoʻopiha i nā mea, mahalo ʻia nā makana kālā; akā inā maikaʻi lākou i ka loaʻa kālā, ʻaʻole paha ia ka mea e kōkua nui ai. No ka hapanui o nā mākua me nā keiki ʻōpio, ke hāʻawi nei iā lākou i kahi manawa hoʻomaha e ka mālama pēpē ʻana paha ka mea e pono ai. Akā ke kānāwai gula nei: e nīnau! ʻAʻohe mea hoʻonāukiuki hou aku i nā ʻaoʻao āpau e pili ana ma mua o kou hoʻāʻo ʻana e hoʻokau iā “kōkua” iā lākou i nā ala e pono ʻole ai a ʻaʻole lākou e hōʻike ana i ka mahalo no kāu mau hoʻāʻo.
4. Mai hoʻokaumaha iā lākou
Loaʻa paha i kāu keiki a me kāu hūnōna kāne kekahi ʻano o ka makuahōnōwai e hele aku ai - nā mākua o ka wahine a kāu keiki. Makemake pū kēlā mau makuahōnōwai kāne i nā keiki a me nā moʻopuna no nā lā nui, makemake pū lākou i ka manawa me nā moʻopuna, hoʻolauleʻa pū lākou i ka lā o ka makuahine a me ka makuakāne, a pēlā aku. E lilo i hūnōnaʻi maikaʻi, pono ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo i kēlā a ʻae iā lākou e hoʻokaʻawale i ka manawa ma waena o kā lākou mau mākua ʻelua, ʻaʻohe hewa. (Inā ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e kūʻē nei i kēia manawa ua lilo lākou i kahi manawa hou aku me ka ʻē aʻe kau o nā in-law, hiki paha i ka manawa e noʻonoʻo ai inā ʻoe i hana hewa i nā mea ʻole o kēia ʻaoʻao a i ʻole hana ʻoluʻolu ʻole iā lākou e hoʻopuni iā ʻoe. me ʻoe ka manawa, loaʻa paha iā ʻoe kahi manawa liʻiliʻi e hoʻolilo ai i ka liʻiliʻi.
ʻO ke ʻano o ke ʻano makuahōnōwai i nā ʻano he nui e pili ana i ka hoʻohanohano ʻana i kou mākau o laissez-faire. E like me ka mea i ʻōlelo ʻia no Adamu lāua ʻo Ewa, "No laila e haʻalele ke kāne i kona makuakāne a me kona makuahine a pili aku i kāna wahine." ʻO ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana ka mea paʻakikī loa a ka makua e hana ai - akā ʻo ke ala ʻoi loa e kōkua ai i kāu keiki a me kāna wahine i ka kūleʻa i kā lāua male.