Anter
- Pehea kou lōʻihi e pili ai ma mua o ka male ʻana
- He mea nui ka manawa aloha ma mua o ka male?
- Āhea ka manawa kūpono e male ai
Pōmaikaʻi loa ʻoe inā ke manaʻo nei ʻoe ua loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi kanaka āu e makemake ai e male.
Pehea ka lōʻihi o kou noho pū ʻana? Ua noho pū ʻoe no 2 mau pule a i ʻole noho paha ʻoe no 4 mau makahiki a ʻoi paha. Manaʻoʻiʻo ʻoe i kekahi manawa o ka ʻike pehea ka lōʻihi o ka lā ma mua o ka male?
Pehea kou lōʻihi e pili ai ma mua o ka male ʻana
Aia kēia nīnau a ka hapanui o nā kāne e alo ai a ʻo ia "pehea ka lōʻihi o kou aloha ma mua o ka male ʻana?"
Ua lohe paha ʻoe e pili ana i nā lula o ka pili aloha ʻana a pili pū me ka manawa awelika ma mua o kou hiki ke kāhea hou aku kekahi i kekahi ma hope o ka lā mua a me ka manawa maʻamau o ka pilina ma mua o ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana a mai poina e pili ana i ka manawa maʻamau ma mua o ka male.
Ke manaʻo nei ʻoe e noho nei i kou ola ma muli o nā ʻōkuhi?
ʻĀpana ʻokoʻa inā pili ʻoe i ka hōʻoia ʻana e hele ʻoe i nā helu ma muli o nā helu helu. Hiki i kēia mau helu a alakaʻi paha ke kōkua iā ʻoe a me kāu hoa e kaupaona pono i nā mea. ʻLelo kekahi aia aia kahi lula 2 makahiki, ʻōlelo kekahi ʻoiai inā ʻike ʻoe ʻo kāu hoa ʻo ia ka "hoʻokahi" a laila ʻaʻohe pono e kali.
E nānā kāua i ʻōlelo ai ka poʻe loea. Eia kekahi mau mea hoʻomanaʻo koʻikoʻi i ka lōʻihi o ka lā ma mua o ka male ʻana.
Wahi a Madeleine A. Fugère, Ph.D., ka mea kākau o The Social Psychology of atraktion and Romantic Relations, "Manaʻo wau ʻaʻole he manawa kūpono, no ka mea, ʻokoʻa iki kēlā me kēia kanaka a me ke kūlana. A ʻokoʻa nā pae oʻo. ”
"ʻAʻohe manawa kūpono i ka lā ma mua o ka male," wahi a Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., psychologist psychologist a me ka luna hoʻoponopono kiʻekiʻe.
“ʻAʻole pili ka pilina maikaʻi i ka manawa. Inā he kanalima mau makahiki o ka male ʻana o kekahi mau kāne, akā ua pōʻino lāua a hana ʻino ʻole kekahi i kekahi i kēlā mau makahiki, he male maikaʻi maoli paha ia? Hana ʻia nā male male i kekahi manawa, a ʻaʻole lākou i pili iki. ʻO ka nīnau: Aloha maoli ʻoe i kēia kanaka? " hoʻohui ʻo ia.
ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo; ʻaʻole hiki i ka manawa koke e mare. Nui a hewahewa paha nā manaʻo e pili ana i ia mea a i ʻole he mau poʻo paha i luna o ka mea e hiki ke hana inā hoʻoholo ʻoe e hoʻopaʻa koke i nā kaula.
ʻO ka manawa kaulike ma mua o ka pili ʻana e pili iā ʻoe a me kāu hoa a ʻo ka hapanui o nā mea āpau, i kou mākaukau e hoʻopaʻa a e male. ʻOkoʻa kēlā me kēia pālua a ma ke ala nani loa.
Pehea ka lōʻihi o ka lā ma mua o ka male ʻana a me ka manawa maʻamau i kēia lā ma mua o ke noi ʻana e noʻonoʻo ʻia ma ke ʻano he alakaʻi akā ʻaʻole ia i manaʻo ʻia e hoʻokū iā ʻoe mai ka noi ʻana a me ka male ʻana.
He mea nui ka manawa aloha ma mua o ka male?
Pehea ka lōʻihi o ka pili ʻana o ka poʻe ma mua o ka male ʻana a i ʻole ka lōʻihi o ka manawa pili aloha i pili ʻole i nā mea āpau no ka mea ʻokoʻa kēlā me kēia kāne a ʻaʻole maopopo ʻole nā mea e pili ana i kēia kumuhana i kahi helu kikoʻī a i ʻole ka lula.
Hōʻike ʻo Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, psychotherapist laikini, ka mea lapaʻau a me ka mea kākau he ʻelua a ʻelua mau makahiki o ka launa aloha ʻana ma mua o kou neʻe ʻana i ka pae aʻe a i ʻole ka male ʻana.
ʻOiai, ʻo ka awelika o ka lōʻihi o ka pilina ma mua o ka male ʻana a i ʻole ka male ʻana e like me ke alakaʻi ʻana i nā kāne ma muli o nā kumu aʻe:
- Pono ka manawa e ʻike i kāu hoa. Hiki iā mākou āpau ke hāʻule i ke poʻo i luna i ke aloha akā hiki i kēia ke lilo i kahi manawa.
- E lawa ka manawa a hiki i kēia lā e hoʻopaʻa ai i ka manaʻo o ka wahine a kekahi me kekahi e ʻike ʻaʻole ulu lākou mai ka "ikaika" o ka mea a lākou e manaʻo nei.
- Ma hope o 26 mau mahina o ka "pae aloha" no nā kāne hou e hiki mai ka hakakā ikaika aiʻole ka manawa hakakā o kā lākou pilina. Inā kū ka mau i kēia a hele ikaika mai, ʻo ia kahi hōʻoia ʻoi aku ka mākaukau maoli.
- Makemake paha kekahi e hoʻāʻo i ka noho pū ʻana ma mua nona nā pono a me nā ʻino ponoʻī.
- ʻO nā kāne ʻo ka mea ʻoi aku ka lōʻihi o ka manawa e ʻike i nā hakakā i kā lākou mau pilina, ʻo ka mea maʻamau. E hoʻāʻo kēia pehea e hiki ai iā lākou ke mālama.
- ʻO ka launa ʻana no kahi wā ʻoi aku ka lōʻihi hiki ke hāʻawi iā ʻoe i ka manawa hou e hoʻomākaukau maoli ai no kou ola male. ʻOkoʻa ka hoʻoholo ʻana e male a mai poina i ke kuleana o ke kāne a wahine.
Āhea ka manawa kūpono e male ai
ʻO ke kumu wale nō e nui ai nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo "pehea ka lōʻihi o kou kali ʻana e male." Kūpono kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a me nā alakaʻi e pale ai i ka haʻalele male.
ʻO ka ʻike i ka manawa kūpono e male ai ma ka wahine. Aia kekahi mau kāne i maopopo leʻa ua pili lākou no ka male a maopopo leʻa makemake lākou e hoʻoponopono.
Wahi a kekahi, pili ka male i ka makahiki, nā makahiki āu i noho pū ai, a ʻōlelo kekahi e pili ana i ka manaʻo o kou ʻōpū.
Mai kaomi ʻia e kēlā poʻe e haʻi nei iā ʻoe ua hala ʻoe i ka makahiki kūpono, pono ʻoe i kahi ʻohana ponoʻī, a i ʻole pehea ʻoe a me kāu hoa e nānā pū loa ai.
E male no ka mea ua mākaukau ʻoe ʻaʻole ma muli o kekahi helu a i ʻole ka manaʻo o kekahi poʻe ʻē aʻe. No laila, pehea ka lōʻihi o kou kali ʻana e male?
Maʻalahi ka pane ma aneʻi - ʻaʻohe manawa manawa hoʻokalakupua e pili ana i ka lōʻihi o ka lā ma mua o ka male. ʻAʻole hana pēlā. Hiki iā ʻoe ke kuhikuhi iā ia ma ke ʻano he kulekele akā ʻaʻole ma ke ʻano he rula.
He mea ʻole inā ʻoe i hui pū no 2 mau pule, 5 mau mahina a i ʻole 5 mau makahiki. Ke ʻike nei i ka lōʻihi o ka lā ma mua o ka male hiki ke lilo i mea kōkua akā ʻaʻole pono ia e kāohi iā ʻoe a i ʻole kāu ipo mai ka makemake e mare inā mākaukau no ka mea ʻo ia ka hōʻoia maoli ma aneʻi. ʻOiai ʻoe e kūpaʻa, oʻo, paʻa, a ʻo ka hapanui o nā mea āpau e mākaukau e male a laila ʻoe e hāhai i kou puʻuwai.