Anter
ʻO ka hele ʻana i ka hemo ʻana ua lawa ia e hoʻolei i kekahi i ke kaulike. Akā ke loaʻa kahi mana ʻole i ka pilina, lilo nā mea āpau i mea ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī. No laila he aha ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana? He aha ke kumu o ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana i ka hemo male? A ʻo ka mea nui loa, pehea e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke lawelawe kūleʻa i ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana ke hele ʻoe i loko o kahi hemo male? E hoʻokumu kēia mau nīnau i ke kumu o kēia kūkā kamaʻilio ʻana, e kōkua iā ʻoe ma mua o nā mea āpau e ʻike inā he mea kēia āu e ʻike nei, a laila e hoʻoholo i kāu mea e hiki ai ke hana e pili ana i ia.
He aha ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana?
He pilina ka male ma waena o ʻelua kaulike. ʻOiai he ʻokoʻa ʻokoʻa kēia mau hoa ʻelua, ʻokoʻa a kū hoʻokahi hoʻi i mau kanaka, like kā lāua waiwai a me ka waiwai ma ke ʻano he mau kāne. I ka male olakino e hana pū ke kāne a me ka wahine e hana i ka maikaʻi o kā lāua pili. Kūkākūkā lākou i nā pilikia a lākou a loaʻa pū i ka hoʻoholo. Inā ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke ʻaelike e hoʻoholo lākou i kahi kuikahi hiki ke hana. Ke loaʻa ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana, akā, aia ka mana o kekahi wahine ma luna o kekahi ma kekahi ʻano. ʻO ka wahine ʻoi aku ka ikaika i ka ikaika i kāna makemake ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe a he hihia ia o 'kuʻu ala a i ʻole ke ala nui.'
Ke hiki mai i kahi hoʻonohonoho i ka wā o ka hemo ʻana, hiki i ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana ke hopena i hoʻokahi wahine i ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o kekahi. ʻO ka mea e hana ai ʻo ia ka mea i kāhea ka wahine ʻoi aku ka ikaika i nā pana a pau a hoʻoholo i ka mea e loaʻa i ka wā e lawe ai ka wahine liʻiliʻi iā ia a haʻalele paha iā ia. Hiki i kēia ke hana i ke kūlana traumatic ma mua loa i kūpono ʻole, akā me ke kōkua o kahi mea uwao naʻauao a akamai hiki ke loaʻa kahi hopena ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi a me ka kaulike.
He aha ke kumu o ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana i ka hemo male?
ʻO nā kumu a me nā ʻano o ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana i ka hemo he nui a ʻano like ʻole. He mea maʻamau loa ia e ʻike aia kekahi a i ʻole ka hakakā mana e hele nei i ka wā o ka hemo. Eia kekahi mau laʻana o nā mea maʻamau:
- Kālā kālā: Ke loaʻa ʻana o ka wahine ma mua o ka mea ʻē aʻe i loaʻa iā lākou ka ʻike a me ka kaohi nui ma luna o ka loaʻa kālā a me ka waiwai. ʻO kahi laʻana o kēia ma ka hihia o kahi noho-ma ka home-makuahine nona kāna kāne ka mea ʻai nui.
- Ka pilina me nā keiki: Inā ʻoi aku ke kūpaʻa o nā keiki i kekahi makua ma mua o ka makua ʻē aʻe, hopena kēia i ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana me ka makua i ʻoi aku ke aloha i ke kūlana ʻoi aku ka mana.
- ʻO ka haʻalele a i ʻole ka hoʻopukapuka manaʻo i ka male: ʻO ka wahine i haʻalele ʻē ʻia mai ka male male ʻoi aku ka nui o ka mana ma luna o ka mea i hoʻolilo ʻia i ke ʻano manaʻo a makemake e hoʻāʻo a mālama i ka pilina.
- ʻO ke ʻano Dominican a me ka hakakā: Ke hoʻokahuli kekahi i kekahi i kekahi e ka ikaika maoli o ko lākou ʻano, aia nō kahi mana ʻole. Hiki i ka mea ikaika loa ke makaʻu i ka ʻae ʻana no ka mea ʻike lākou i ka mea e hana inā ʻaʻole lākou.
- Ka hoʻomāinoino, nā mea hōʻalo a me nā waiʻona: Inā loaʻa kekahi o kēia mau mea i ka pilina a ʻaʻole lākou i kamaʻilio ʻia a mālama ʻia, e loaʻa ana nā pilikia me ke kaulike ʻole i ka wā o ka hemo.
- He aha kekahi mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo no ka lawelawe ʻana i ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana i ka wā hemo male.
- Inā ua ʻike ʻoe i kekahi o nā hanana i luna aʻe e maikaʻi e nīnau iā ʻoe iho pehea ka hopena o kēia mau mana kaulike ʻole i kāu hana hemo. Inā manaʻo ʻoe e hele mai ʻoe ma ke ʻano he hoa nāwaliwali, makemake paha ʻoe e noʻonoʻo e hana me ka nānā pono no kahi mea uwao kūpono. Paipai ʻia hoʻi e loaʻa i kahi loio kūkākūkā e hāʻawi i ke kākoʻo keu, a me nā aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo mua i loaʻa.
- Hiki i kahi mea uwao e ʻike i nā kaulike mana hiki ke hana i kekahi mau kaʻina e kōkua ai i ka pono o nā hana penei:
- Ka hoʻohana ʻana o ka poʻe loea kūlike ʻole: Ma ka ʻōlelo ʻana e hoʻohana nā ʻaoʻao i nā loea kūlike ʻole, hiki i ka mea hoʻoponopono ke hōʻoia i ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hōʻike pahuhopu. ʻO kahi laʻana hiki i kahi psychologist keiki ke hāʻawi i nā ʻike e pili ana i nā koho mālama no nā keiki, ʻoiai hiki i kahi aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo kālā ke hāʻawi i kahi hōʻuluʻulu o ke kālā male.
- Kāohi ʻana i ka noho aliʻi: I loko o ka wā waena he mea nui ia no ka mea hoʻoponopono e hoʻonohonoho i ke kani no ke kamaʻilio ʻana a koi i kekahi mau lula kumu e ukali ʻia ana. Pale aku kēia i kekahi noho aliʻi ʻana ma kahi o kahi kāne i ʻoi aku ka ikaika a me ka ʻoi aku ka domineering pilikino. Inā ʻaʻole loaʻa kahi manawa e kamaʻilio ai, a i ʻole ke ʻike ʻia nei ua pio a luhi paha, e kāhea ka mea uwao i ka manawa hoʻopau a manaʻo paha e aʻo hou ma mua o ka hoʻomaka hou ʻana i ka mediasi.
- Ka hana ʻana me nā pilikia paʻakikī: ma waena o ka mediation hiki ke loaʻa i nā hopena kōkua ʻelua a ʻoiai ka ʻikepili pinepine o nā pilikia he nui e pili ana i ka hemo. Hiki i ka mea hoʻoponopono ke kōkua i ka hoʻolaha ʻana i nā manaʻo a me nā ʻike o ke kaulike ʻole o ka mana e ke kamaʻilio pono ʻana ma o nā pilikia paʻakikī.
- Ke ʻike nei inā ʻaʻole kōkua ke kōkua ʻana: I kekahi manawa hiki mai kahi kiko e hiki ʻole ai ka mediasi hou aʻe. Hiki i kēia ke hana ke pili ʻole ka mana i ke kūlana i kahi nui i hiki ʻole i kekahi a i ʻole nā kāne ʻelua ke komo pono. Hiki i kēia ke hihia i laila ka hoʻomāinoino, nā mea hōʻalo ʻole i mālama ʻia a i ʻole ka ʻona.
ʻO kekahi ʻano like ʻole o ka mana i hana ʻia i kekahi manawa i ka wā hemo kahi ke hoʻololi o ka mana ma waena o nā mākua a me nā keiki. Me nā haunaele a me nā loli a ka haʻalele hemo ʻole, he mea nui ia i nā mākua e mālama i kā lākou kuleana makua no ka palekana a me ka palekana o kā lākou keiki. ʻO ka mea i hana pinepine ʻia e komo nā mākua i ke ʻano o ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e lilo i 'hoa' me kā lākou keiki ma mua o ka hoʻohana ʻana i kā lākou kuleana makua.
ʻO ke ala e pale ai i kēia ʻano mana o ka mana ʻole mai ka hana ʻana i kou home ma hope o ka hemo ʻana, e hōʻoia ia i kāu mau pahuhopu a me nā waiwai. E hoʻonohonoho i nā mea i manaʻo ʻia no kāu mau keiki a kūkākūkā i nā lula a me nā lula āu e makemake ai e mālama, a me nā uku a me nā hopena e hopena inā hoʻokō ʻole lākou i nā mea i manaʻo ʻia.