Pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai inā aloha ʻoe i kekahi

Anter

• He aha ke aloha?
• No ke aha he mea nui e ʻike inā he aloha ʻoe?
• ʻO ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ke kuko, ka aloha aloha, a me ke aloha
• Pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai i kou aloha i kekahi?
• Nā hōʻailona 16 aloha ʻoe
• 1. Nānā mau ʻoe iā lākou
• 2. Ala ʻoe a hiamoe me nā manaʻo o lākou
• 3. Kiʻekiʻena ʻoe
• 4. Manaʻo pinepine ʻoe e pili ana i kekahi
• 5. Makemake mau ʻoe e ʻike hauʻoli iā lākou
• 6. Loʻohia ʻoe i ka lohi
• 7. ʻIke ʻoe i kekahi lili
• 8. Hoʻonoho mua ʻoe iā lākou ma mua o nā hana ʻē aʻe
• 9. Ke aloha nei ʻoe i nā mea hou
• 10. Holo ka manawa ke hele pū ʻoe me lākou
• 11. Aloha aku ʻoe iā lākou
• 12. Ke loli nei ʻoe no ka ʻoi aku
• 13. Aloha ʻoe i kā lākou ʻūlū
• 14. Kuhi ʻoe i kahi hui pū
• 15. Makemake ʻoe i ka pili kino
• 16. ʻAno maʻalahi ka noho pū ʻana me lākou
• Hoʻopau

ʻAʻohe mea hoihoi aʻe ma mua o ka manaʻo o ka hāʻule ʻana no kekahi. ʻO nā butterflies i loko o kou ʻōpū, ʻo ka iini e pono ai e kamaʻilio a i ʻole me lākou, a me ka mea i manaʻo ʻole ʻia e ʻike i nā ala hou e kahaha ai iā lākou.

Ke hoʻomaka ʻoe e hāʻule no kekahi, hiki i nā manaʻo ke loaʻa i kahi ʻokoʻa a aia kahi manaʻo e paʻakikī loa e haʻi.

A ʻoiai paha he aloha paha kou, ʻaʻole ia he aloha. Akā pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai inā aloha ʻoe i kekahi a i ʻole aloha aloha wale ʻia? E hoʻomau i ka heluhelu ʻana e ʻike ai.

He aha ke aloha?

No ke aha e haʻohaʻo ai ka poʻe i ke ʻano o ke aloha, he aha ke ʻano o ke aloha, a pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai aloha ʻoe i kekahi?

Ua wehewehe ʻia ke aloha i nā ʻano like ʻole.

Ua wehewehe ʻo ka puke wehewehe ʻōlelo ʻo Oxford i ke aloha ma ke ʻano he "ʻano ikaika a maikaʻi hoʻi o ka naʻau a me ka noʻonoʻo, mai ke ʻano kiʻekiʻe a i ʻole ka maʻa mau, ke aloha kanaka hohonu a i ka leʻaleʻa maʻalahi."

Ua wehewehe nā Helene kahiko i ʻehiku mau ʻano aloha, ʻo ia hoʻi: Storge, Philia, Eros, Agape, Ludus, Pragma, a me Philautia.

Hiki ke wehewehe ʻia ke aloha ma ke ʻano he hanana kūlohelohe i hiki ʻole iā mākou ke koi a kauoha paha. Hiki iā mākou ke ʻae iā ia akā ʻaʻole hiki ke kuhikuhi iā ia; he ʻano hohonu ʻoi aku ka nui ma mua o kekahi.

No ke aha he mea nui e ʻike inā he aloha ʻoe?

E like me nā manaʻo ʻē aʻe a i ʻole ʻano manaʻo, ke ʻike nei inā aloha ʻoe i kekahi a i ʻole ʻaʻole pono.

ʻAʻole maʻalahi ia i kahi ʻano o ka ʻike ʻole inā aloha ʻoe i kekahi a ʻaʻole paha.

Aia paha ʻoe i kahi hanana kahi i haʻi ai kekahi i kā lākou hoʻomana ʻana nāu; akā naʻe, ʻaʻole maopopo iā ʻoe inā hoʻomākaukau maoli ʻoe e pane i kēlā mau manaʻo.

A i ʻole ʻo ke kanaka āu e hoʻomana ai e pili ana i kahi neʻe me kahi mea ʻē aʻe, a pono ʻoe e hōʻike i kou mau manaʻo ma mua o ka hala ʻana o ke kiko o ka hoʻi ʻole.

Eia nō naʻe, pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai i ka mea āu e manaʻo ai he ʻoiaʻiʻo, mau loa, a pololei hoʻi?

ʻOi aku ka nui o ke aloha ma mua o nā manaʻo ʻē aʻe a mākou e ʻike ai i ko mākou ola.

He mea a mākou e hana ai i ko mākou ola a puni, neʻe mākou i ka honua no, a hoʻomaka i nā ʻohana no.

No laila, lilo ia i mea nui e maopopo ai inā he aloha maoli ʻoe a i ʻole kahi mana o ke kuko a infatuation paha.

ʻO ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ke kuko, ka aloha aloha, a me ke aloha

ʻO ka kuko, ka aloha aloha, a me ke aloha he mea paʻakikī ke hoʻokaʻawale, keu hoʻi i ko lākou wā mua. Hōʻike lākou i nā ʻano like loa i ka wā mua a, no nā kenekulia, e hoʻopunipuni nei i ka poʻe.

Eia nō naʻe, ʻokoʻa loa lākou mai kekahi i kekahi, a pono mākou e hoʻomaopopo i kēlā ʻokoʻa e hōʻole i ka hoʻoholo ʻana e mihi paha mākou.

ʻO ke kuko kahi manaʻo psychological e hoʻopuka i kahi makemake nui i kahi mea a kanaka paha. He ikaika ikaika a pōkole hoʻi ia e koi e hoʻokō ʻia me ka ʻole o kekahi kumu a me ka noʻonoʻo.

E like me ke kuko, ʻo ka infatuation kekahi manaʻo nui e hoʻohuli iā mākou i kahi kuko noʻonoʻo ʻole, maʻamau i kekahi kanaka nona ka manaʻo i ulu ai kekahi.

Aia ka ʻokoʻa i ka hiki i ka infatuation ke pua mau i ke aloha, ʻoiai ʻo ke kuko wale nō kahi makemake pilikino e loaʻa ai kāu mea e makemake ai.

Ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, he mea kōkua ke aloha i nā pilina pilikino a ua pili ʻia me ka ikaika ikaika a me ka hoʻopili ʻana i ka naʻau.

E hoʻomaopopo pono ai i ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ke aloha a me ke kuko e lawe i ka 'ʻO wau anei i ke aloha a i ʻole ke kuko kuko?'

Eia kekahi, e kiaʻi i ka kamaʻilio TED e hiki mai ana ma kahi o Dr. Terri Orbuch he polofesa no ka sociology ma ke Kulanui ʻo Oakland a he polopeka noiʻi ma ka Institute for Social Research ma ke Kulanui o Michigan e kūkākūkā ana i nā hōʻailona e hoʻokaʻawale ma waena o ke kuko a me ke aloha, a pehea e noho aliʻi ai i kēlā kuko kuko. i ke aloha i nā pilina lōʻihi.

Pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai i kou aloha i kekahi?

ʻO ka ʻike ʻana inā e aloha aloha nei ʻoe ʻaʻole paʻakikī. E hoʻomaopopo ka hapanui, ʻoiai ʻaʻole ka hapanui i kahi kūpono e haʻi. Akā pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai aloha ʻoe i kekahi?

E ʻike ai i ke aloha maoli, pono ʻoe e nānā ma mua pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai i ke kanaka āu i aloha ai, hana kuikahi ʻoe iā lākou ma ke ʻano he mea a kanaka paha. ʻO ke aloha kahi manaʻo e ʻae aku iā ʻoe i nā kīnā o kekahi me ka noi ʻole ʻana iā lākou e hana like.

ʻAʻole ia he ʻano ona; ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, he ʻano ia o ka hāʻawi pio ʻole ʻana no ka mea ʻae maoli ʻoe i kēlā kanaka no ka mea a lākou me ka ʻole o ka mea e hoʻihoʻi.

Kani loa? No ka mea ʻo ia, a ʻo ia ke kumu e hiki ai i nā mea he nui o mākou ke hoʻokō i kā mākou pilina he hui o ke kuko, ke aloha, a me ke aloha.

No laila, hoʻi mākou i ka nīnau like, pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai aloha ʻoe i kekahi?

ʻO ka mea pōmaikaʻi, he ʻano ʻokoʻa kā kou kino e haʻi aku iā ʻoe inā e aloha ana ʻoe me kekahi ʻaʻole paha.

I mea e kōkua ai iā ʻoe e ʻike i ke ʻano o ke aloha, ʻo ka ʻāpana aʻe e hōʻike ana i kahi mau hōʻailona e aloha ai ʻoe.

Nā hōʻailona 16 aloha ʻoe

Ma lalo nā ala e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke haʻi he aloha ʻoe i kekahi:

1. Nānā mau ʻoe iā lākou

Ke ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e nānā iā lākou no ka manawa lōʻihi, a laila he hōʻailona paha ia e aloha ana ʻoe i kēlā kanaka.

ʻO ka maʻamau, ke ʻano o ka maka maka ʻana ke hoʻopaʻa ʻia ʻoe ma kekahi mea.

Inā ʻoe e nānā nei i kekahi i nā manawa he nui, pono ʻoe e ʻike ua loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi ipo.

Ua hōʻike ʻia nā noiʻi i nā hoa aloha e ʻike pono iā lākou iho e haka pono ana kekahi i kekahi me ka pili aloha. A, he ʻoiaʻiʻo kēlā. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke makaʻi i kekahi ke ʻole kou manaʻo iā ia.

2. Ala ʻoe a hiamoe me nā manaʻo o lākou

Pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai i kou aloha i kekahi?

Ke aloha ʻoe, noʻonoʻo pinepine ʻoe e pili ana i ke kanaka āu e mālama ai, akā ʻoi aku ma mua o kēlā, ʻo ia kou manaʻo mua i ke kakahiaka a me ka manaʻo hope ma mua o ka hiamoe.

Eia kekahi, ke aloha aloha ʻoe i kekahi, ʻo lākou ka mea mua āu e manaʻo ai e kaʻana i ka nūhou.

3. Kiʻekiʻena ʻoe

I kekahi manawa hiki ke paʻakikī ke ʻike inā aloha ʻoe i kekahi ʻaʻole paha. ʻO ia ke kumu e paʻa ai ka hapanui o ka poʻe me ka nīnau, pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai aloha ʻoe i kekahi.

I ka hapanui o nā hihia, ke aloha ʻoe me kekahi, e kiʻekiʻe ʻoe, a he mea maʻamau kēlā me nā mea āpau.

ʻO kahi noiʻi e hoʻāʻo ana e loiloi i nā mea like ma waena o ka lāʻau hoʻomake lāʻau a me ke aloha aloha i ʻike ʻia he nui nā ʻano like ma waena o ka wā mua o ke aloha aloha a me ka lāʻau hōʻona.

I kēia manawa, inā ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike i ke kumu o kāu hana ʻana i kēia ʻano hana, ʻo kēia ke kumu - ke aloha nei ʻoe.

4. Manaʻo pinepine ʻoe e pili ana i kekahi

Ke hoʻomaka ʻoe e aloha i kekahi, kānalua ʻole - ʻaʻole ʻoe e haʻalele i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana iā lākou.

ʻO ke kumu e noʻonoʻo mau ai ʻoe e pili ana i kāu ipo hou ʻo ia ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana o kou lolo i ka phenylethylamine - kahi i ʻike ʻia i kekahi manawa ʻo "ka lāʻau aloha."

ʻO Phenylethylamine kahi hormone e kōkua i ka hana ʻana i ka manaʻo ma waena o ʻoe a me kāu hoa.

Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike i kēia, pono ʻoe i kēia manawa. Loaʻa ʻo Phenylethylamine i ka kokoleka āu e aloha ai.

No laila, inā ʻoe e ʻai i ka kokoleka i kēlā me kēia lā, a laila ʻo ia ke kumu e hiki ʻole ai iā ʻoe ke haʻalele i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i kāu hoa hou.

5. Makemake mau ʻoe e ʻike hauʻoli iā lākou

I ke ʻano maoli, he aloha like ka pilina. Ke aloha ʻē ʻoe i kekahi, makemake ʻoe makemake ʻoe e hauʻoli lākou i kēlā me kēia manawa.

A, malia paha inā ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike, he aloha ke aloha aloha kahi hōʻailona e komo ana ʻoe i kahi pilina olakino. ʻO kēia ka mea hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i nā mea āpau e ʻike ai i ka hauʻoli o kāu hoa i nā manawa āpau.

No laila, inā ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e hoʻomākaukau ana i ka ʻaina awakea ma kahi o kāu hoa ke hana ʻo ia me kāna mau hana, a laila pono ʻoe e ʻike ua aloha ʻoe.

6. Loʻohia ʻoe i ka lohi

I ka hapanui o nā hihia, e hoʻopili ʻia ke aloha me nā naʻau lūlū, akā i kekahi manawa i kekahi manawa, ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ke kaumaha.

Ke aloha ʻoe, hoʻokuʻu i kou lolo i kahi hormone i kāhea ʻia cortisol, e hoʻonāukiuki ai iā ʻoe.

No laila, inā maopopo iā ʻoe ke hele nei i waho o ka lohi, ʻike lākou no ka pili o kāu pili hou. Akā mai haʻalele wale ma muli o kēlā. ʻO ke koʻikoʻi ka mea maʻamau i ka pilina.

7. ʻIke ʻoe i kekahi lili

Hiki i ke aloha me kekahi ke kono i kekahi lili, ʻoiai ʻaʻole ʻoe he lili i ka nui. ʻO ke aloha me kekahi e makemake ʻoe e loaʻa iā lākou nāu wale nō, no laila he kūlohelohe kahi lili, inā ʻaʻole ia e obsessing.

8. Hoʻonoho mua ʻoe iā lākou ma mua o nā hana ʻē aʻe

ʻO ka hoʻolimalima manawa me kāu mea aloha kahi uku iā ia iho, no laila hoʻomaka ʻoe i ka prioritizing iā lākou ma mua o nā hana ʻē aʻe.

Ke noho manawa ʻoe me lākou, ʻōlelo kou ʻōpū, "aloha wau i kēia manaʻo" a ʻiʻini i nā mea hou aku, kaomi ʻana iā ʻoe e hoʻoponopono hou i kāu mau hoʻolālā a kau iā lākou ma luna.

9. Ke aloha nei ʻoe i nā mea hou

Ke aloha ʻoe, e ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e hana ana i nā mea āu i maʻa ʻole ai e hana. ʻO kahi laʻana, inā ʻaʻole ʻoe aloha i ka pīpeka, hiki i kāu hoa hou ke hoʻohuli iā ʻoe e hoʻomaka i ka nānā ʻana.

Inā ʻoe e ʻike ke hāʻawi nei ʻoe i ke ola i kahi ala ʻokoʻa, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e hopohopo no ka mea ke aloha wale nei ʻoe.

10. Holo ka manawa ke hele pū ʻoe me lākou

Ua noho pū ʻoe ma ka hopena pule, a ua ala ʻoe i ke kakahiaka o ka Pōʻakahi e noʻonoʻo ana pehea i hala ai ʻelua mau lā?

Ke pili puni mākou i kahi kanaka a mākou e aloha ai, pili nui mākou i kēia manawa, ke hele wale nei i nā hola me ka ʻole o ka ʻike ʻana.

11. Aloha aku ʻoe iā lākou

Ke aloha ʻoe i kekahi, ke aloha aku nei ʻoe a hele aku nei i waho e kōkua i kāu hoa.

Maʻalahi ke hana ʻana i nā mea no lākou no ka mea makemake ʻoe e ʻoluʻolu lākou, a hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i ko lākou kaumaha.

12. Ke loli nei ʻoe no ka ʻoi aku

'Mostlelo ka hapa nui o nā poʻe,' manaʻo wau i ke aloha 'ke hoʻonāukiuki kā lākou hapalua iā lākou e lilo i kūlana maikaʻi loa o lākou iho.

ʻO kēia ke kumu i hoʻonāukiuki ʻia ʻoe e hoʻololi no ka mea makemake ʻoe, ʻoiai lākou e ʻae iā ʻoe e like me ʻoe.

13. Aloha ʻoe i kā lākou ʻūlū

Loaʻa i nā kānaka āpau nā huapalapala kū hoʻokahi. No laila, ke aloha ʻoe me kekahi, e ʻike ʻoe ua koho ʻoe i kekahi mau ʻano e hoʻokaʻawale iā lākou, a he maʻamau kēlā.

E hoʻomaka ʻoe e like me kou makemake e hoʻohālike i ka pehea a lākou e kamaʻilio ai, pehea lākou e hele ai, a pehea paha lākou e uhaʻi ai i nā mea hoʻomākeʻaka.

ʻO ia mau mea e hoʻomau i ka pilina. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole paha lākou he koʻikoʻi, akā hōʻino lākou i kou pilina.

14. Kuhi ʻoe i kahi hui pū

ʻO ka manawa e ʻike ai ka hapanui o nā poʻe a ʻae wau i ke aloha 'ke ʻike lākou i ka hana ʻana i nā hoʻolālā o kahi wā e hiki mai ana a koho malū i nā inoa o nā keiki.

No laila, pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai aloha ʻoe i kekahi?

No ka pane ʻana i kēlā, nīnau iā ʻoe iho, ua hoʻomaka anei ʻoe, a i ka nui hea, noʻonoʻo ʻoe i kāu lā e hiki mai ana.

15. Makemake ʻoe i ka pili kino

inā makemake ʻoe e aloha he aloha ʻoe ma mua o ka puka ʻana me “Manaʻo wau he aloha wau,” e hoʻopaʻa i kou pono no ka hoʻopili kino ʻana me kāu hoa.

ʻOiai hauʻoli mākou i ka ʻapo a kokoke ʻana i ka poʻe a mākou e aloha ai, e like me nā hoaaloha a me ka ʻohana, ke aloha, ʻokoʻa ka manaʻo o ke kuko kino.

Pau ia iā ʻoe, a nānā ʻoe i nā manawa kūpono e pilina ai me ke kanaka o kou aloha.

16. ʻAno maʻalahi ka noho pū ʻana me lākou

Hele mai kekahi pilina me kāna mau hakakā ponoʻī a me nā paio. ʻAʻohe ala e hoʻopuni iā ​​ia.

Eia nō naʻe, ke aloha, ʻo ka mea nui ka pilina, ʻaʻole kou haʻaheo.

No laila, ʻoiai ʻoe e bicker i kekahi manawa, ʻaʻole paʻakikī kāu pilina e mālama, a hauʻoli ʻoe i ka ʻāpana o ia.

Hoʻopau

ʻO ka nīnau: pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai aloha ʻoe i kekahi e hāʻawi mau nei iā ʻoe i nā pilikia? ʻO ka ʻike inā e aloha ana ʻoe me kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe hiki ke lilo i mea paʻakikī, akā hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻi me nā hōʻailona āpau i luna.