Anter
- ʻAʻole kūlike ke aloha i ka moekolohe
- No laila he aha ka pilina?
- He aha ka moekolohe i kēlā manawa?
- Nā pilikia o ka pilina a me ka moekolohe
"Hiki i ka moekolohe ke lilo i pilina pili loa a nani hoʻi o ke aloha, akā ke wahaheʻe wale nei mākou iā mākou iho ke hana mākou me he mea lā ʻo ka wahine ka hōʻoia o ke aloha. Nui loa nā kāne e koi i ka moekolohe ma ke ʻano he hōʻoiaʻiʻo o ke aloha; he nui nā wahine i hāʻawi i ka moekolohe me ka lana o ke aloha. Noho mākou i kahi honua o nā mea hoʻohana kahi e hana ʻino ai kekahi i kekahi e hōʻoluʻolu i ka ʻeha o ka lohi. Makemake nui mākou āpau i ka pilina, a hiki i ke kino ke ʻike he pilina, ma ka liʻiliʻi no kekahi manawa. " (McManus, Erwin; Hoʻokele ʻUhane, 2008)
Nui ka poʻe i lawe i ka lima e kākau e pili ana i nā mea i hōʻike ʻia ma luna. ʻAʻole wau e ʻaʻa e hoʻowahāwahā i ka nui o ka hana palapala (fictional and non-fiction) e pili ana i ke kumuhana o ke aloha, ka pilina a me ka moekolohe paha. Ua lawa e ʻōlelo, ua kākau ʻia kēia ʻatikala e kōkua ai iā ʻoe e ʻike maopopo i kēia mau manaʻo i loko o lākou iho. E hoʻāʻo wau i ka wehewehe pōkole o ke aloha, ka pilina, a me ka moekolohe. E haʻalele wau iā ʻoe me ka hoʻoholo ʻana i kou manaʻo no kāu mau pono. Akā ʻo ka mea mua, he uila kūkala nūhou! ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e aloha i kekahi e moekolohe pū me lākou. ʻO ka mea āu e pono ai e wehewehe pono a hoʻomaopopo i ka mea āu e makemake ai a i ʻole e pono ai i kahi pilina. Pono ʻoe e noʻonoʻo pono e hele i kahi pilina pilikino. Manaʻo wau i nā pilina kipona kumu.
ʻAʻole kūlike ke aloha i ka moekolohe
ʻO ke aloha, kūlike ʻole i ka manaʻo o ka poʻe he nui, ʻaʻole hoʻohālikelike i ka wahine i ke aloha. Kuhi hewa kēia i nā ala āpau. ʻO ke aloha maʻalahi kahi mōhai āu e hana ai no kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe. No ka moʻolelo, ʻaʻole mākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka erotica (ka mana Hollywood) o ke aloha. Ke kamaʻilio nei mākou e pili ana i ka mālama, mālama, hāʻawi ʻana a me ka loaʻa ʻana i hāʻawi ʻia e ke kanaka i kekahi i kekahi ma luna o nā makahiki.
No laila he aha ka pilina?
No kā mākou kumu, e wehewehe mākou i ka pilina ma ke ʻano he mokuʻāina 'i loko o kahi pilina. ʻIke ʻoe, pili ka pilina (kahi mea a mākou e hana ai): ʻo ia "e hōʻike". No laila, ʻo ka pilina ka mea e ulu mālie ai kahi kanaka ʻelua a ʻae a hāʻawi iā lākou iho e lilo i nāwaliwali me kekahi. Hāʻawi lākou i kēlā me kēia i ke komo ʻana i nā ʻāpana noʻonoʻo a maikaʻi o kā lākou iho i hūnā ʻia ʻia mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. Ma o ka hala ʻana o ka manawa, kaʻana like kēia poʻe i kekahi i kekahi ma o ke kamaʻilio ʻana a me ke kamaʻilio ʻana i kā lākou mau moemoeā, ka makaʻu, ka manaʻolana, a me nā moemoeā. Me kēlā me kēia kanaka i ka pilina e hoʻi ana pēlā e kūkulu i nā hilinaʻi a me ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i nā paʻa o ka pili loa. Hoʻolālā lākou i kahi kokoke a kaʻana like i ke ʻano o ka lilo. Ua forged lākou a kūkulu i kahi kūkā kahi e manaʻo ai kēlā me kēia o lākou e palekana a paʻa pono e hōʻike iā ia iho, hāʻawi a loaʻa, hilinaʻi a manaʻo ʻia ua hōʻoia. ʻO ka pilina kahi hana e hana ai a kūkulu i ka manawa. He loli ia a kū ʻole.
He aha ka moekolohe i kēlā manawa?
Moekolohe? ʻO ka moekolohe, ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē, me he mea lā ua ʻoki pololei ʻia a maloʻo hoʻi. Akā ʻo ia? Ma ke ʻano akahai loa, he puka wale ka moekolohe no kā mākou pono e māʻona i kā mākou holoholona holoholona me ke kumu o ka hoʻokō ʻana i kahi orgasm i nā kāne a me nā wahine. ʻOiai he nui ka poʻe e hoʻohālikelike i ka moekolohe me nā poʻe ʻelua e moe pū ana, hiki ke hana maoli ʻia ka moekolohe e hoʻokahi kanaka e like me ka hana ma o ka hana o ka masturbation. He mea nui e hoʻokaʻawale i ka moekolohe kanaka mai ka hoʻokele holoholona pono wale nō e lele kekahi i kekahi mai ke aloha ʻana, ka hana kūpono a lahilahi hoʻi o ka hana pilikino a leʻaleʻa o ka launa pū ʻana me kekahi. ʻO wau iho, ma ke ʻano he kāne, manaʻo wau he mea maikaʻi ke ʻae ʻia kāu pakanā iā ʻoe i loko o kā lākou kino kino pilikino. ʻIke like wau i ka hapa nui o ka poʻe i ka moekolohe, no ka moekolohe. ʻO Frankly, haʻalele kēlā iā ʻoe me ka ʻole a me ka ʻoluʻolu ʻole.
Nā pilikia o ka pilina a me ka moekolohe
I koʻu mau makahiki āpau o ka hana kahu hānai a ma hope i kaʻu hana ma ke ʻano he therapist, ʻo kekahi o nā pilikia koʻikoʻi i kū i kaʻu mea kūʻai aku nā pilikia o ka pili a me ka moekolohe. I ka mea nui, huikau ka hapanui o nā kāne i kekahi me kekahi a lilo kēia i hoʻokahi o nā knots paʻakikī loa e wehe iā lākou. ʻO Knots no ka mea ʻaʻole i hōʻike pono ʻia nā mea pili pono a me nā pilina paʻa, ua hakakā lāua. ʻO ka hopena pinepine pinepine ma mua o ka infidelity.
Ke hoʻomaopopo nei he manawa a me ka hana e hilinaʻi ai i kahi mea ʻē aʻe me kā mākou mea ola āpau, lilo ia i mea paʻakikī ke ʻike mākou ʻaʻole i hoʻihoʻi kūpono ʻia kā mākou mau hana a kumakaia ʻia kā mākou mau manaʻolana. No laila, ka ʻehaʻeha a me ke kaumaha e lilo i ka infidelity. ʻO ka hilinaʻi ʻole, ʻo ka waiho wale ʻana i ka manawa e heʻe ai a i hele hewa ai paha kekahi ʻaoʻao mai nā ala o kahi pilina hauʻoli a paʻa paha. Ua ʻike ka hapa nui o mākou i ka moekolohe me ke kūlana o ka moekolohe ma waho o kahi pilina i hana ʻia. Eia hou, moekolohe; he mea hoihoi e nānā iki ʻole mākou i ke kumu kumu o ka infidelity ma mua o ka hoʻolei ʻana iā mākou iho i kahi huhū i kēlā me kēia manawa ke kū.