Anter
ʻO ka hānai ʻana i kāu poʻe keiki i kahi ʻano maikaʻi a olakino ʻoiai ke koe mau nei ka haʻalele ʻana mai kāu hoa hiki hiki.
ʻOiai ʻaʻole ʻoe e launa pū me kāu hoa a ʻaʻole hiki ke kū kekahi i kekahi a kamaʻilio kūpono, hiki i nā mākua like ke koho ʻoi loa i loaʻa iā ʻoe ma kāu pākaukau.
Ke noʻonoʻo nei pehea e hoʻohana ʻia ai ke ʻano o ka makua like, e hoʻomanaʻo mau i nā mākua hemo a kaʻawale paha, ʻoiai ua ala aʻe ka hakakā ma waena o lāua, e mālama lākou i ka mea liʻiliʻi e pono ai ka pono o kā lāua keiki.
Hoʻokaʻawale nā hana o ka hānai ʻana i kahi keiki ma waena o nā mākua. ʻO kahi laʻana, hiki i kekahi makua ke ʻike ma luna o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa a nā keiki a me ka hoʻomohala talena, ʻoiai hiki i ka mea ʻē aʻe ke kia i nā hana mālama o kēlā me kēia lā.
ʻO ka pahuhopu o ka makua kūlike ke hoʻomohala i kahi pilina ʻoihana, kahi o nā keiki ke kōkua.
Ma muli o ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana he mea hoʻoweliweli i ka ulu ʻana o ka noʻonoʻo a me ka naʻau o nā keiki, ʻo ka hoʻololi ʻana i ka makua kūlike ke ʻano ʻoi loa o ke olakino maikaʻi loa no nā mākua e ʻae i kā lākou keiki e lilo i poʻe ʻōpio olakino olakino.
He aha ka makua like?
Aia kahi makua makua i kahi hoʻonohonoho i hana ʻia ma waena o nā mākua, a ʻoiai ʻaʻole paha e launa pū kekahi me kekahi a ʻaelike pinepine ʻole, ua ʻaelike lākou i ke ala ʻoi loa e hiki ai ke hānai i kā lākou keiki. Kūleʻa lākou i nā kumu maʻamau o kēia, a kaʻana like i ke kuleana o ka hānai ʻana i kā lākou poʻe keiki ma kahi ʻano ʻoluʻolu.
Hāʻawi ka makua like i ka manawa no nā mākua e haʻalele i kā lākou ʻokoʻa a me ka inaina i kekahi i kekahi no ka maikaʻi o kā lāua keiki.
I ka hala ʻana o ka manawa, ke waiho mālie nei lākou i ko lākou ʻokoʻa, nā mākua e hana ana i ka papahana makua like e hui hou a hana pū, a laila hoʻokumu hou i ka laulima no ka pono maikaʻi loa o kā lākou mau keiki, e waiho ana i kahi ala no ke kamaʻilio maikaʻi a me ka hoʻoholo ʻana.
Heluhelu Pili: ʻO ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o nā mākua like a me nā mākua like
Nā Pōmaikaʻi
ʻO nā pōmaikaʻi o nā mākua like e huli puni i nā keiki.
ʻO ka hapa nui o nā manawa i hopu ʻia nā keiki i nā hakakā a ko lākou mau mākua, e hōʻike ana iā lākou i nā naʻau ʻino e hiki ke pale i ko lākou ulu maikaʻi loa i ke ola. ʻO kekahi o nā pōmaikaʻi nui o nā mākua like ka loaʻa ʻana o nā keiki i ke alo a me ke kākoʻo o nā mākua ʻelua i ko lākou ola.
Pono e kamaʻilio
Hana ʻia nā mea āpau ma ke ʻano o ke kamaʻilio ʻana, a ke ʻole a hoʻokumu a hoʻokumu hou paha nā mākua i kahi pilina kūpono ma waena o lākou, ʻaʻole holo pono ka makua like.
Ua hele mai ʻo Bill Eddy i ka makahiki 2011 me ka akomi BIFF, e kū nei no Brief, Informative, firm and Friendly.
Ke hele nei i loko o nā hakakā a me nā hoʻopaʻapaʻa me kāu hoa makua ʻo ia wale nō ka hoʻonele o ka manawa a me ka ikehu, kahi e hōʻino ai i ka hānai maikaʻi ʻana o kāu keiki.
ʻOiai ʻo ka manaʻo o ka makua like pū kekahi me ka manaʻo o ka makua i haʻalele ʻia, pono e mālama ʻia kahi ʻano o ke kamaʻilio ma waena o nā hoa makua. Hiki i kēia ke hana ma ka leka uila, leka uila ʻana, a i ʻole ke komo ʻana i kahi puke puke.
Ke mālama nei ke keiki i kekahi o nā mākua, hiki iā lākou ke kākau i loko o ka puke i nā kikoʻī āpau e pili ana i ke olakino manaʻo, nā ʻano moe, nā pilikia pili i ka hoʻonaʻauao a me ka lawena o kā lākou mau keiki, a hāʻawi pinepine i ka puke ma waena o lākou.
Mai holoi i kou lole holoi lepo ma mua o nā keiki
He paʻakikī nā wā hoʻokaʻawale a hoʻokaʻawale paha kekahi i kekahi ke hele lākou i ka lumi like, ai kekahi manawa hiki i nā pae kiʻekiʻe o ka inaina ma waena o lākou ke paʻakikī e kaohi.
ʻO ka ʻae ʻana i nā keiki e ʻike i nā hakakā ma waena o ko lākou mau mākua he maikaʻi ʻole i ko lākou ulu ʻana.
Inā ʻaʻole hiki i nā mākua ke kū kekahi i kekahi ʻaʻole ma ka lumi like, hiki iā lākou ke hoʻolālā i nā ʻaha kūkā kumu ʻokoʻa, ʻelua mau lā hānau lā ʻokoʻa no nā keiki a hoʻonohonoho paha i nā hāʻule no lākou mai ke kula, nā papa mele a pēlā aku.
ʻOiai ʻaʻole hoʻokō kekahi mau kāne i kā lākou mau pahu hopu, hiki iā lākou ke hoʻokō i nā pahuhopu makua maikaʻi.
Ma ka mālama ʻana i ka mahalo a me ke kau ʻana i kahi lula o nā lula ma mua e hōʻemi i ka pilina ma waena o lākou me ka pono nui loa, hiki i nā mākua ke pili i kā lākou mau keiki, ʻoiai i ka manawa like e hoʻomau i ka haʻalele.
ʻAʻole hiki i kahi keiki ke hoʻomohala pono i ko lākou pilikino inā ʻike mau lākou iā lākou iho i waenakonu o nā hakakā a ko lākou mau mākua, a me ka makua like e hāʻawi ana i ka hopena maikaʻi loa no kēia.