Anter
- Pili mau ia i ka pili pili
- He aha nā mea e hana nei i ke ola o ka wahine inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e mālama i nā pono o kāna keiki?
- Hoʻopili lākou i ka ʻeha
- Kono mākou i nā hōʻino ke lawe mākou iā ia
- ʻO nā ukana ʻohana e like me ka hele ʻana i ke kahua mokulele
- Hoʻokomo ʻia mākou e ʻike i nā hoa e hōʻike i nā ʻano maikaʻi ʻole o ko mākou mau mākua
- ʻO ka hakakā o nā pono a me nā makaʻu i kū ʻole mai ka wā kamaliʻi
- Hōʻalo i ka hoʻomohala ʻana i ke alelo o ka mea haʻuki
- E hoʻomohala i ka assertiveness a me ke kamaʻilio olakino e hoʻonohonoho i nā palena
Hōʻino nā pilina ma muli o nā ʻeha a me nā ʻeha i ka manawa hou.
Mai nā ʻehaʻeha loa o ka hana hoʻomāinoino i ke kino i ka make e nā tausani papercuts mai nā ʻōlelo waha, nā manaʻo a me nā noʻonoʻo ʻole. ʻAʻole ʻimi nā poʻe i ka ʻōlelo aʻo ʻana i ke kōkua no ka mea ke holo maikaʻi nei ko lākou ola a hauʻoli hoʻi ma ka home a me ka hana.
Pili mau ia i ka pili pili
ʻAʻohe mea i hopu ʻia no ka hauʻoli pū kekahi inā ʻaʻole lākou e pau i ka detox- a ʻaʻole au ʻike pinepine iā lākou i kaʻu hana.
ʻO Freud a me kāna mau mea pili pilina mea pololei.
Hiki mai i nā pili makua a me nā keiki. Kiola ʻia nā kaikaina a me nā hoa i laila pū kekahi.
He mea ola nā kānaka a makemake mākou e hānai a mālama ʻia i ka wā lohi o kā mākou ulu ʻana.
Ke hilinaʻi nei mākou i kā mākou poʻe mālama e hānai, pale, a hōʻoluʻolu iā mākou me ka mālama ʻana i kā mākou mau pono pilikino kanaka- e noʻonoʻo iā Maslow's Hierarchy o nā pono. ʻO ka pae mua nā pono physiologic no ka meaʻai, make wai, luhi, a me ka maʻemaʻe.
E nīnau iā ʻoe iho, "he aha ke ʻano o ke kaiapuni a i ʻole ke kahu e hiki ʻole ai ke hoʻokō i kēia mau pono maʻamau?" ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka nānā mua e lilo i ka mālama mua ʻana a ka makuahine no ke keiki a he nui ka hopena o nā makuakāne - pololei a pololei ʻole hoʻi i ka makuahine, ke kaiapuni, a me ke keiki.
He aha nā mea e hana nei i ke ola o ka wahine inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e mālama i nā pono o kāna keiki?
Ua kaumaha ʻo ia i kahi pae kūlohelohe me ka ʻole o nā lāʻau? Ua kaumaha ʻo ia ma muli o kāna pilina me ka makuakāne? Hana hoʻomāinoino ʻia ʻo ia? Ua kaumaha loa paha ia e mālama i nā pono o ke keiki? Ka hale? etc.
Ua huli ʻo ia i nā lāʻau lapaʻau a i ʻole ka hōʻino ʻana i nā mea e hōʻino ai i ka ʻeha o kāna mau ʻike? He aha ke kuleana o ka makua kāne i kona olakino noʻonoʻo a me ke ʻano? He aha kāna kuleana inā ʻo nā ʻāpana kahi ʻāpana o ka hoʻohālikelike? Pau ʻole nā nīnau. Hoʻomaopopo nā pane i nā ukana i lawe ʻia i mua. ʻO ka pae ʻelua o nā pono e pono ai ka palekana, e like me ka pono e ʻike i ka palekana a me ka hiki ke pale i ka ʻeha a me ka hopohopo.
ʻO ke kolu o ka pae ka pili ʻana a me ke aloha e pono ai. Ua wehewehe ka hapa nui o kaʻu mau mea kūʻai aku i kā lākou wā kamaliʻi "maʻamau" a me ka hoʻopaʻi ma nā ʻano ʻōlelo ʻāʻī a hoʻopaʻi hoʻi, e like me nā kāʻei, hoe, "nā mea i loaʻa."
Hoʻopili lākou i ka ʻeha
ʻO kēia mau mākua, me nā mana autiterative, unresponsive, a maʻalahi ʻole, hoʻoulu i ka ʻeha e aʻo i kā lākou poʻe keiki mai ka hewa a manaʻoʻiʻo i ka hoʻopaʻi "kula kahiko". ʻOiai paha e pane maikaʻi kekahi mau keiki i kēlā mau ana, ʻaʻole ka hapanui.
Hoʻokomo lākou i ka ʻeha nui me kahi mahele ikaika o "F- you!" like pū. ʻO ka pinepine, kūlike ʻole kēlā mau mākua, hoʻouna i nā leka i hui ʻia o ke aloha a me ka inaina, a ʻoi aku paha ka maikaʻi, ka hōʻole wale nō.
ʻO nā male male no nā kumu āpau ʻaʻole maikaʻi a lawe mai i kā lākou mau ʻeha, nā ʻeha, a me nā makaʻu. ʻO ka makaʻu ka mea hoʻoikaika nui loa iā mākou.
Hoʻopili ʻia ka huhū ma o ka naʻau kiʻekiʻe a me ke aʻo ʻana i ka nohona ma o ka nānā ʻana i hui pū ʻia me ka ʻike pololei. Aʻo ʻia lākou e hōʻeha i kekahi e aʻo iā lākou ua hana hewa lākou. Ke aʻo ʻia nei lākou e hōʻeha i kekahi ke hōʻeha lākou i kāu mau mea i manaʻo ai. Aʻo mākou i ka poʻe pehea e mālama ai iā mākou.
Kono mākou i nā hōʻino ke lawe mākou iā ia
Kono mākou i nā hanaʻino ke lawe mākou iā ia me ka ʻole o ka hoʻokumu ʻana i nā palena a me nā hopena kūpono. Kono mākou i ka huhū ke hoʻohana mākou i ka huhū no ka mea aia kekahi e hoʻoholo, "ʻAʻole wau e lawe i kēlā mea hou" a koho iā lākou e pale iā lākou iho.
No laila, hoʻokumu ʻia ko mākou ʻōnaehana hilinaʻi a me ka schema noʻonoʻo ma o kēia mau ʻike a me nā pilina.
Hoʻokumu ʻia ko mākou ʻeha a me nā ʻeha a me nā mea hoʻomaka ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka pilina.
A ʻoi aku ka ʻehaʻeha o nā wā kamaliʻi o nā poʻe hou aku, ʻoi aku ka hohonu o nā ʻeha a me nā ʻeha. A ʻo kaʻoi aku o ka makemake nui e loaʻa kahi pilina pilikino e hoʻoponopono i ko lākou mau pilikia. ʻAʻole ʻike ʻia kahi mea kūʻai aku i nā pae o ka dinamika o ko lākou ʻohana ma waena o ka holo pono ʻole o ka pilina makua a hiki i ka wā i koi ʻia ai lākou i ka lāʻau i kekahi ala a i ʻole kekahi.
E like me kaʻu kumu, ua ʻōlelo ʻo Kauka Walsh i ka pule mua o kaʻu puka kula puka puka, “ʻAʻohe mea e hele manawaleʻa wale i ka lāʻau. Kauoha ʻia lākou e ka ʻaha a kauoha ʻia paha e ka wahine. ” I kaʻu hana loea i nā pilina i ka pilikia (manawaleʻa & ʻaha hoʻokolokolo), ma lalo o 5% o kaʻu mau mea kūʻai aku i manawaleʻa wale.
A ʻaʻole ʻokoʻa kā lākou mau pilikia a me nā pilikia ma mua o nā pilikia ma ka hoʻāʻo ʻana no kā lākou hakakā i kēlā me kēia palena e pili ana i ka hoʻokō kānāwai.
ʻO nā ukana ʻohana e like me ka hele ʻana i ke kahua mokulele
E aʻo nā mea kūʻai aku i ka lāʻau lapaʻau e like ka ukana o kā lākou ʻohana me ka hele ʻana i ke kahua mokulele. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokau i kāu ukana a hele aku mai ona aku. Hoʻopuni ʻia i kou mau kuʻekuʻe wāwae me nā kaula kila a hoʻopili ʻia me kā kā mākou hoa hana - i kekahi manawa e like me ka ikaika ʻoihana Velcro - piha i ka enmeshed a me ka codependent.
ʻO ka hapanui o nā poʻe āpau me kahi ʻano home ʻeha e huli i kahi pilina pili e kū ai i ko lākou mau pono no ke aloha, kaʻae ʻana, ka waiwai a me ka mālama ʻana. A pinepine pinepine, huli i ka wai ʻona a me nā lāʻau e hoʻopau i ka ʻeha a leʻaleʻa i kā lākou mokuʻāina i hoʻololi ʻia.
ʻO Kauka Harville Hendricks, kahi loiloi pilina lōʻihi loa a me ka mea kākau o nā puke, Ke kiʻi nei i ke aloha āu e makemake ai, kūkākūkā IMAGO, ʻo ke aniani. ʻO kā mākou Imago kahi hōʻike kūloko o kā mākou kahu mālama i nā ʻano maikaʻi a maikaʻi ʻole a me nā ʻano.
Hoʻokomo ʻia mākou e ʻike i nā hoa e hōʻike i nā ʻano maikaʻi ʻole o ko mākou mau mākua
ʻO kāna kumumanaʻo, kahi e resonates ikaika ai me kaʻu mau mea kūʻai aku, ʻo ia ia e kiʻi ʻia ai mākou e ʻike i nā hoa e hōʻike ana i nā ʻano maikaʻi ʻole o ko mākou mau mākua. Ua hōʻike akāka ʻia koʻu ola ponoʻī i ka unconsciousness o kā mākou hoa koho a me nā mea hoihoi.
ʻO ka laki, ma kahi pae akahai a hoʻomanawanui e ʻae ai i ka ʻimi ʻana i nā kumuhana a me nā pilikia no ka ulu a me ka loli.
Wahi a ke kumumanaʻo, inā ʻike mākou i ka hōʻole ʻia a me ka mea nui ʻole i ka wā kamaliʻi (ʻo ia hoʻi, ka maʻi o ke keiki waena, ka makua ʻona a ma hope paha o ka hemo ʻana), e ʻike mākou i kahi mea e like ai ko mākou manaʻo i ke ola. Malia paha he hoa hana kahi hoa a huakaʻi nui paha no ka hana.
Hiki iā ia ke manaʻo like (ʻo ia hoʻi, mehameha, haʻalele ʻia, ʻaʻole mea nui) e like me ka male ʻana i kahi mea ʻona, kekahi e hoʻolilo i kona manawa āpau i ka huli holoholona, lawaiʻa ʻana, kolepa ʻana a i ʻole wrenching ma kāna kaʻa ʻoiai e waiho ana iā ʻoe ma ka home.
Inā mākou i kaumaha me nā kuleana (ʻo ia hoʻi, nā mākua) no nā kumu like, a laila like nā kuleana a me nā kuleana, ʻoiai inā makemake mākou e noho ma ka home makua e ke koho. I ka manawa, hiki i ka ʻike ke kaupaona iā ʻoe no ka manaʻo ʻole i kākoʻo ʻia a ma waho o ke kaulike me nā kuleana a me nā hana o ka hale.
ʻO ka hakakā o nā pono a me nā makaʻu i kū ʻole mai ka wā kamaliʻi
Inā mālama ʻo ia i nā waiwai “kuʻuna”, manaʻo paha ʻo ia ke hoʻokō nei ʻo ia i kāna kuleana ma ke ʻano he mea hāʻawi e hoʻihoʻi mai i ka bacon a ʻo nā hana a ka home he hana na ka wahine. No laila, ka hakakā o nā pono kūpono ʻole a me nā makaʻu a me nā manaʻo mai ka hohonu o kā mākou wā kamaliʻi. Lilo mākou i hypersensitive i nā ʻike like o ka wā ma mua a ʻaʻole makemake e ʻike i kēlā mau manaʻo ma ke ʻano he mākua.
ʻO nā kī e hoʻololi ai e ʻike i nā mea hoʻomaka a pono ʻole e pono ai. E ʻike pehea e kamaʻilio maikaʻi aku ai iā lākou me ka hoʻohana ʻana i ka palapala "I Feel", a aʻo e ʻike i kāu mau hana sabotaging, e like me ka hoʻopau ʻana i ka hāmau "no ka mea ʻaʻohe mea e noʻonoʻo iaʻu a i koʻu manaʻo paha."
A i ʻole e hoʻōho nei e "hōʻoia" i lohe ʻia ʻoe - ʻaʻole holo pono ia.
ʻO ka hapa nui o nā pilina a nāwaliwali a kūleʻa ʻole i aʻo i nā mākau kamaʻilio olakino e hoʻomaka ai.
Loaʻa lākou i ka hakakā, ʻaʻole wehewehe a noi ʻana i kōkua. ʻO ko mākou hopohopo o ka palupalu ke kumu o ke kamaʻilio pololei ʻana, ʻaʻole loa, a i ʻole me ka ʻawahia no ka makaʻu i ka ʻike.
He paʻakikī e hilinaʻi i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe inā he hilinaʻi ʻole kēlā o ka poʻe i hala. Eia nō naʻe, pono mākou e hilinaʻi lawa e ʻike inā e hōʻeha ʻoe iaʻu a ʻaʻole paha. Lohi. ʻAʻole makemake nā pilina olakino e hōʻeha kekahi i kekahi a hoʻonāukiuki i nā ʻeha.
E noʻonoʻo i ke ʻano o ka hoʻonāukiuki i kou mau ʻeha a me nā ʻeha. E aʻo e hakakā me ka maikaʻi.
Hōʻalo i ka hoʻomohala ʻana i ke alelo o ka mea haʻuki
Hōʻalo i ka hoʻopili ʻana i kou wāwae i kou waha a hoʻomohala i ka “alelo o ka ʻālapa”. ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke hoʻihoʻi i nā ʻōlelo o ka ʻeha, a pili lākou i nā iwi ʻaoʻao. ʻO ia ke kumu i hōʻeha ai ka hōʻino noʻonoʻo, ʻuhane, a me ka waha ma mua o ke kino. Ola nā ʻeha a ʻoki, kani nā huaʻōlelo i nā pepeiao.
E hoʻomohala i ka assertiveness a me ke kamaʻilio olakino e hoʻonohonoho i nā palena
ʻO nā hopena kūpono ʻole a me nā hopena he mau hiʻohiʻona ia o ka naʻau kiʻekiʻe i hōʻike ʻia a me ka volatility i aʻo ʻia i ka wā kamaliʻi a me ka pahū a i ʻole ka hoʻopili ʻana i nā pilina makua.
ʻO ka pilina ka hoʻololi o ka ikaika ikaika. Hele ʻoe i waho mai ia mea āu e hoʻokomo ai.
ʻAʻole like ke aloha me Chaos + Drama! E ʻōlelo me ka mālie a me ka mōakāka. ʻO ia wale nō ke ala e mālama ai ka poʻe. E hoʻolohe me ka manaʻo e aʻo, ʻaʻole pale a ʻoki kaʻawale.
E hāhai i ka STAHRS 7 Core Values. BERRITT (E "Pono"): Palena, Kaulike, Hoʻohanohano, Kūpono, Kūpono, Hana Pūʻulu, Hilinaʻi.
A ma mua ʻoe i ka pāʻani.
Hauʻoli makahiki hou. ʻO ka manawa paha kēia e nānā hou ai i ka maikaʻi o kāu pilina. Laki paha ʻoe a ʻāpana o ka hauʻoli iwakāluakūmālima pākēneka. Laki maikaʻi me kou ola a me kou pilina. ʻAʻohe o mākou manawa a me ka manawa no kahi pilina maikaʻi ʻole. ʻO nā pilina olakino wale nō e hoʻomaikaʻi ai i ko mākou ola.