Anter
- He aha ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a ka wahine ma ka pūnaewele?
- Nā pōmaikaʻi o ka hana ʻana i ka launa pūnaewele ma kahi o kahi kanaka
- Con o ka hana ʻana i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ma ka pūnaewele ma kahi o ke kanaka
He pilikia ko Tom lāua ʻo Kathy i kā lāua male ʻana a pono maoli i ka ʻōlelo aʻo pili pili. Ua male ʻia lākou i kahi manawa pōkole wale nō a ʻike he kōkua paha ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo iā lākou. ʻOiai paʻakikī nā mea, aloha maoli lākou i kekahi i kekahi a makemake e hoʻāʻo i kekahi mea i hiki ke kōkua.
Akā ma hea lākou e huli ai?
Ua hāʻawi nā papa inoa pūnaewele i nā inoa o nā kākā'ōlelo pili pilina, akā ʻaʻole ʻike ʻo Tom lāua ʻo Kathy ka mea e koho ai a ʻo wai hoʻi e kūpono e kōkua iā lāua. Ua makemake lākou e noi i nā mea i hoʻouna ʻia mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, akā ʻaʻole lākou i makemake e hōʻino aku i kekahi a i ʻole e hopohopo i kā lākou mau hoaaloha a ʻohana hoʻi me lākou.
Ma waho aʻe o kēlā, ua huakaʻi nui ʻo Tom, a ua hana ʻo Kathy i ka nui o nā hola keʻena aʻoaʻo. Ke hoʻāʻo nei e hele pū e ʻike i kahi mea hoʻoponopono a i ʻole he kaʻawale kahi hana maʻalahi.
Pehea lākou e hana ai i nā mea? A laila i kekahi lā, ua ʻike ʻo Kathy i ka manaʻo kūkā kamaʻilio ma ka pūnaewele.
ʻO nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a nā kāne ma ka pūnaewele me he mea lā he koho kūpono loa no nā mea ʻelua a hiki ke maʻalahi i kā lākou papa kuhikuhi.
He aha ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a ka wahine ma ka pūnaewele?
He ʻano like ia me ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ʻaoʻao he alo kuʻuna, akā ma kahi o, hana mamao ʻia ia ma o ka pūnaewele.
E kamaʻilio pū paha nā Therapist me kā lākou mea maʻi ma kahi pūnaewele paʻa a i ʻole polokalamu e hoʻolālā pono ʻia e hāʻawi i ka pilikino no kā lākou mea kūʻai aku. Hiki i kā lākou mau papahana ke ukali i kekahi papa hana me nā loea e hāʻawi nei i ka manaʻo i nā nīnau a i ʻole nā hopohopo a me nā ʻōlelo aʻo pili pili pūnaewele.
E nānā hohonu i nā pono a me nā maikaʻi ʻole o ka hoʻōla pūnaewele e kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻoholo i ka ʻike.
Nā pōmaikaʻi o ka hana ʻana i ka launa pūnaewele ma kahi o kahi kanaka
- Maʻalahi no kāu nohona hana. Me ka laʻana o Tom lāua ʻo Kathy, ʻaʻole paha hiki ke hālāwai me ke kanaka aʻoaʻo pū kekahi, akā makemake nō lākou e pōmaikaʻi mai kēlā kumuwaiwai a me ka ʻōlelo aʻo pili ma ka pūnaewele. No laila ke hele nei i ka pūnaewele hiki iā lākou ke noho i ka home a koho i nā manawa ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi no lākou a ma waho o ka hapanui o nā hola keʻena ʻoihana kanaka hoʻoponopono.
- He mea ʻole ia ma hea ʻoe: ʻO kekahi mea ʻē aʻe hiki i ka wahine ke komo i ka wā ma ko lāua home ponoʻī, a hiki ke hoʻohui i ka ʻoluʻolu ma mua o ka manaʻo haole o kahi keʻena o ka mea lapaʻau ʻole. He hiʻohiʻona maikaʻi loa ia no kēlā mau kāne a noho mamao aku paha mai kahi kākāʻōlelo male.
- Hoʻonohonoho i nā koho ma waho o nā hola keʻena maʻamau: ʻO ka hoʻohana ʻana i nā ʻōlelo aʻo a nā kāne ma ka pūnaewele hiki ke ʻoi aku ka wikiwiki me ka liʻiliʻi o ke kali kali ma waena o nā kau, a ʻoi aku ka loli o nā manawa hālāwai e ʻae ai i nā kāne i ka hiki ke komo i ka wā e hiki ai. E like me Tom a me Kathy, ʻelua ʻolua nui loa a hana paha i kēia pūnaewele ma ke ʻano he ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi.
- Me nā limahana kākoʻo ʻole a i ʻole keu kākoʻo, ʻoi aku ka haʻahaʻa o nā kumukūʻai. Kaukaʻi ʻia i ka papahana, hiki i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ʻana ma ka pūnaewele ke koho haʻahaʻa. No kekahi mau kāne, ʻo ia paha ka ʻokoʻa o ka hoʻohana ʻana i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a ʻaʻole paha.
- Hoʻohui nā pūnaewele hoʻomaʻamaʻa pūnaewele i ka waiwai: Hāʻawi nā papahana aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo pilina he nui i nā pono hana aʻo maʻalahi e kiʻi a kōkua i ka mōhai ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pūnaewele.
- Hiki iā ʻoe ke nānā i ka pilikia me ka hilahila ʻole: ʻO ka hele ʻana i ka lāʻau lapaʻau ʻaʻole ia he kaʻina leʻaleʻa. Hopohopo paha kekahi mau kāne e launa kino i ke kākāʻōlelo; hoʻohui ka mea pūnaewele i kahi papa o ka inoa inoa ʻole i ke kaʻina hana a kōkua paha i kekahi e ʻoluʻolu hou aʻe. Eia kekahi, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ka poʻe e hāmama a hoʻopono i ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kekahi mea a lākou e ʻike ʻole ai he alo a he alo.
- ʻAʻole pono e lepili i kāu pilina: Ke hele ka poʻe i kahi kākāʻōlelo, manaʻo paha lākou ua hewa kekahi mea iā lākou. Manaʻo paha lākou e like paha me ka hoʻokolokolo ʻana o ka poʻe iā lākou. ʻO ke kaʻa wale ʻana i ke keʻena a me ka hele ʻana i ka lumi kali ke ʻano he hemahema no kekahi poʻe. Ke hana nei i kēia ma ka home ma o kahi punaewele pūnaewele e lawe i ka nui o kēlā stigma.
Con o ka hana ʻana i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ma ka pūnaewele ma kahi o ke kanaka
- Ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei ke ʻike nei: E hala paha i ka wahine a i ka mea hoʻoponopono paha kekahi o ka ʻōlelo a ke kino a i ʻole nā mea "ʻaʻole i haʻi ʻia" mai nā kāne a i hiki ke nānā maikaʻi ʻia ma kahi "kanaka".
- ʻO ka hele ʻana i kahi keʻena e ʻoi aku ka mana: ʻO kahi hemahema hou aʻe paha ka maʻalahi o ka hana ʻana ma ka pūnaewele e lawe i ka wahine no ka mea hou aku.
- Me ka loaʻa ʻole o ka “lā palena pau” a i ʻole ke koho ʻia ʻana, hiki iā lākou ke makemake nui e koho ʻole i nā mea i koho ʻia a hoʻopau ʻia ma muli o nā hoʻopau ʻana i nā minuke hope loa e pau ai ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana iā lākou no nā kau i hala. Me kahi koho manawa pilikino, hiki i nā kāne ke hōʻike a komo pū no ka mea ua hoʻonoho ʻia ka lā a hoʻonohonoho lākou i kā lākou papa kuhikuhi e lawa ai ke kau.
- ʻAʻole paha e lawe kekahi iā ia e like me ke koʻikoʻi: No ka mea he mea maʻamau ʻole ia, hoʻopaʻapaʻa paha kekahi i ka pono o ka ʻōlelo aʻo pilina pili pūnaewele, e noʻonoʻo nei inā lawa paha ia e kōkua ai i ka hoʻololi ʻana i nā kāne.
- Nīnau i nā hōʻoia o nā mea hoʻoponopono pūnaewele: Ma muli o ka pūnaewele lākou, hiki ke maʻalahi i nā therapist a i ʻole nā "loea" e hoʻopunipuni paha.
- ʻOiai e kuhi hewa paha kekahi poʻe i kā lākou mākaukau, nui nā loea, hōʻoia ʻia, a me nā laikini ʻohana a me nā loea ʻohana i loaʻa e hāʻawi i nā lawelawe ma ka pūnaewele. He mea nui ia e nānā pālua i ke kula a ka mea hoʻoponopono a me ka hope e maopopo ai ua kūpono lākou e kōkua iā ʻoe.
- ʻAʻole hilinaʻi mau nā kamepiula a i ʻole i ka Pūnaewele a i ʻole nā pūnaewele: I kekahi manawa hiki i nā glitches; inā kūpilikiʻi maoli nā mea i kou pilina a laila hiki i kēlā mau pilikia ʻenehana ke hoʻolohi i kou hiki ke loaʻa i ke kōkua. Hoʻolaʻa ʻia nā mea aʻoaʻo e hana ma ka pūnaewele e piʻi me nā hopena hana no kēia mau pilikia ʻenehana, akā naʻe, a e hoʻonohonoho mua i ka loaʻa ʻana iā ʻoe ke kōkua e pono ai i ke ala paʻa loa a pilikino hoʻi e hiki ai.
Ma hope o ka hele ʻana i nā pōmaikaʻi a me nā pōʻino, ua hoʻoholo ʻo Tom lāua ʻo Kathy e lele i loko me ʻelua mau wāwae a ʻimi i nā ʻōlelo aʻo pili ma o ka ʻōlelo aʻo pili pili pūnaewele.
ʻO ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pilina pili pūnaewele kahi mea hou na lākou, akā i ka hopena, ua ʻike lākou he mea pono ke hoʻāʻo. Ma hope o ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i nā pono a me nā maikaʻi ʻole o ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo male ma ka pūnaewele, ua hele mua lākou.
Ua koho lākou i kahi papahana a ua hana pū lāua. ʻAʻole ia he maʻalahi — ʻo ka hana ʻana i nā pilikia i loko o ka pilina ʻaʻole ia he mea leʻaleʻa e hana ai - akā ma o ke kaʻina hana, ua aʻo lāua i ka pehea e kamaʻilio maikaʻi ai i ko lāua mau manaʻo, hana ma waena o ka ʻeha kahiko, a neʻe pū i mua ma ke ʻano he kāne.
Inā loaʻa nā pilikia i kou pilina, a me kāu mau hoʻāʻo ʻana, ua hōʻea ʻoe i kāu male, ua hiki i ka manawa e noʻonoʻo ai i ka ʻōlelo aʻo ʻana e hoʻomaikaʻi ai kāu male.
Ma hope o ke kaupaona ʻana i nā pōmaikaʻi a me nā maikaʻi ʻole o ka hoʻōla kāne, pono ʻoe e hoʻokolokolo inā hiki i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pili kūloko ke kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻoponopono i nā pilikia pili, a inā he mea āu i ʻaelike like ai.
Inā ma muli o nā kaohi a me nā kaohi kālā ʻaʻole kēia he koho kūpono no ʻoe, a laila ʻo ka lawe ʻana i kahi papa male ma ka pūnaewele i hilinaʻi ʻia a i ʻole kahi ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pili pūnaewele me kāu poʻe loea loea hiki ke lilo i kāu kāleka kāhea e hoʻomaikaʻi ai i kāu male.