He aha kāu e ʻike ai e pili ana i ka 'Parent Alienation Syndrome'

Mea Kākau: Louise Ward
Lā O Ka Hana: 7 Pepeluali 2021
HōʻAno Hou I Ka Lā: 2 Iulai 2024
Anonim
He aha kāu e ʻike ai e pili ana i ka 'Parent Alienation Syndrome' - Psychology
He aha kāu e ʻike ai e pili ana i ka 'Parent Alienation Syndrome' - Psychology

Anter

Ma kahi o 9 a 10 paha ʻo Dave i ka wā i haʻalele ai kona mau mākua. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i pīhoihoi no ka mea aia ka nui o ka haunaele a me ka hakakā ma ka home, eia naʻe, ua haki ka ʻohana a paʻakikī kēia iā ia. Noho ʻo ia i ka home i maʻa iā ia me kona makuahine, maikaʻi loa ia. Hiki iā ia ke noho ma kāna kula a me ke kaiāulu kahi o ka hapa nui o kona mau hoaaloha i noho ai. Ua aloha ʻo ia i kona home, kāna mau holoholona a me nā hoaaloha a ma waho o nā kipa ʻana me kona makuakāne i kekahi manawa, aia ʻo ia i kona wahi hōʻoluʻolu.

ʻAʻole ʻo ia i ʻike a hiki i kona hala ʻana o 20's ua hoʻomāinoino ʻia ʻo ia e kāna makuahine. Pehea e ʻike ʻole ai kekahi e hoʻomāinoino ʻia lākou? ʻĀ, ʻo ke ʻano o ka hoʻomāinoino āna i hoʻomanawanui ai ma mua o ka hapalua o kona ola, ʻo ia ka hana hoʻomāinoino ʻike ʻole a kapa ʻia ʻo Parent Alienation or Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS).


He aha ka makua Alienation Syndrome?

He ʻano hoʻomāinoino noʻonoʻo a me ka naʻau i loaʻa ʻole nā ​​māka a i ʻole nā ​​scars ma waho. Ke hele nei, ʻo kēlā me kēia mea i kākau ʻia i ka ʻulaʻula e lilo i mau hōʻailona a me nā hōʻailona o PAS.

Pehea kona hoʻomaka?

Ua lohi ka hoʻomaka ʻana. E ʻōlelo ʻo Māmā i kekahi mau mea maikaʻi ʻole e pili ana i ka makuakāne ma aneʻi. ʻO kahi laʻana, "koʻikoʻi loa kou makuakāne", "ʻaʻole maopopo i kou makuakāne iā ʻoe", "hewa kou makuakāne". Ma hope o ka hala ʻana o ka manawa, ua maikaʻi iki aʻe me ka ʻōlelo ʻana a ka makuahine iā Dave e like me kona mehameha, hopohopo ʻo ia i ke kālā a hoʻohana iā Dave e kiʻi i ka ʻike e pili ana i ka ola pilikino o kona makuakāne. Lohe pinepine ʻo Dave i kona makuahine e kamaʻilio ana ma ke kelepona i ka namunamu a me ka ʻōlelo ʻana i nā mea maikaʻi ʻole e pili ana i kona makuakāne. Hoʻohui, lawe ʻo Māmā iā Dave i ke kauka a i ʻole ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo me ka haʻi ʻole aku i kona makuakāne a hiki i nā lā a i ʻole mau pule ma hope. Ke hana kūʻokoʻa nei ʻo ia i ka ʻaelike mālama. Ua noho kona makuakāne i kekahi mau kaona aku a lohi akā akā naʻe, makemake ʻo Dave e hoʻolōʻihi a emi iki ka manawa ma laila. E hala ʻo ia i kāna mau hoaaloha a hopohopo i ka noho kaʻawale ʻana o kona makuahine.


Ua lilo kona makuakāne i ke kāne "hewa"

Ua hoʻomaka ka hanana o nā mea hou aʻe i loko o nā makahiki. Ua hoʻomaʻamaʻa ka makuakāne o Dave iā ia no nā mākia ʻilihune a makemake ʻo mama e ʻoi aku ka "ʻike" o kāna hakakā ma ke kula. ʻO nā hoʻāʻo e hoʻopaʻi iā Dave no kāna mau papa ʻilihune a i ʻole kāna hana maikaʻi ʻole e hōʻino ʻia e ka makuahine o Dave. E haʻi aku ka makuahine o Dave iā Dave ʻaʻole kūpono a kūpono ʻole kona makuakāne i kāna aʻo ʻana, no laila, ʻo ko Dave makuakāne ke kāne "ʻino". Ua lilo ko Dave makuahine makuahine i hoa aloha nona. Hiki iā ia ke haʻi iā ia i kekahi mea a manaʻo ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke wehe i kāna makuakāne, ke hoʻonui nei hoʻi i ka manawa me kona makuakāne me ka ʻoluʻolu ʻole.

Ua ikaika loa ka hoʻomāinoino i ka wā o Dave i 15. ʻO kona makuakāne i hele i loko o kekahi mau hakakā ʻoihana. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i hūnā i nā kikoʻī akā ʻano ikaika ia. Ua hoʻoliʻiliʻi ka makuakāne o Dave i kā lākou hoʻolilo kālā a ua hana nui ʻo ia i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e kūkulu hou i kāna ʻoihana. I kēia manawa ua hoʻomaka ka makuahine o Dave e kaʻana like i nā loio i pili ai kona makuakāne. Manaʻo ʻoe, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i ʻike i nā kikoʻī akā ua manaʻo ʻo ia e kuleana e kaʻana like i kāna mau manaʻo i mea ʻoiaʻiʻo. Ua hoʻomaka ʻo ia e haʻi wahaheʻe aku iā Dave e pili ana i ka hemo male, kāna pilikia kālā ʻo ia kāna "makua makua", e hōʻike ʻo ia i nā leka uila a me nā leka uila a Dave i hoʻouna aku ai iā ia, a me nā mea i haku ʻia i kumu nui aʻe ai ʻo Dave. pilikia. ʻO nā hakakā a Dave ma ke kula, kaumaha, haʻahaʻa haʻahaʻa a me ka ʻai nui ʻana i lilo i mea hōʻino loa. ʻO ka mea hope loa, ʻoiai me he mea lā ʻo Papa ke kumu e hakakā nui nei ʻo Dave, ua hoʻoholo ʻo ia ʻaʻole makemake ʻo ia e ʻike i kona makuakāne.


Ua lilo ʻo ia i waha no kona makuahine

Ma waho o kahi mea e like me ka ʻole, ua launa ʻo makuahine me kāna loio a hoʻomaka i ka pōpō e kaʻa i ka hoʻololi ʻana i ka ʻaelike mālama. I ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ko Dave makuakāne e kipaku aku iā ia e nīnau iā Dave i ka mea e hana nei a no ke aha ka huhū o Dave iā ia. Ua puʻunaue ʻo Dave i nā ʻāpana a me nā ʻāpana o ka mea a ka makuahine e ʻōlelo nei a ua hoʻomaka ka makuakāne e loaʻa ka manaʻo e hele ana ka makuahine i kahi misionari e mālama iā Dave iā ia iho. ʻO nā mea a Dave e haʻi aku ai i kona makuakāne e like me nā huaʻōlelo a ka makuahine a Dave i haʻi aku ai i kona makuakāne i ka wā i hala. Ua lilo ʻo Dave i waha no kāna makuahine. Ua hoʻāʻo ʻo ia e hoʻohuli iā Dave mai kona makuakāne ʻaʻole maopopo iā ia pehea e kāpae ai a kōkua iā Dave e ʻike i nā mea e hana nei. Ua ʻike ka makuakāne o Dave ua ʻawaʻawa kona makuahine mai ka hemo ʻana (ʻoiai ʻo ia ka mea i noi no ka hemo). Ua ʻike ka makuakāne o Dave ʻaʻole lāua i ʻae i nā kaila makua a he nui nā mea kūlike ʻole ma waena o lākou, akā ʻaʻole ʻo ia i manaʻo e hoʻāʻo maoli ʻo ia e huli iā Dave iā ia.

ʻAʻole kākaʻikahi ka moʻolelo a Dave

He kaumaha akā heʻoiaʻiʻo he nui nā mākua hemo i ka hoʻohuli a hoʻohuli ʻole paha i kā lākou keiki i kā lākou ex. Inā ʻaʻole i kākau ʻia ka hōʻino ʻia kahi e pono ʻole ai kahi keiki e hoʻolilo manawa me nā mākua ʻelua, a laila kūʻē ʻia i ke kānāwai no ka makua i mālama ʻia e hana i nā haunaele i ka pilina o ke keiki me ka makua ʻē aʻe. ʻO ka hana a ka makuahine a Dave, kahi ʻano paʻa o ka hoʻomāinoino ʻana i ka noʻonoʻo a me ka naʻau, ke ʻimi nei i ka makuakāne o Dave a hoʻokaʻawale iā Dave iā ia. Ua maʻalea ka makuahine o Dave ma ke aʻo ʻana iā Dave ʻo kona makuakāne ka makua "ʻino" aʻo ia ka makua "hemolele".

Holoi ʻauʻau

Ua kapa ʻia kēia ʻo Parent Alienation Syndrome, eia naʻe, makemake wau e hoʻomaʻalahi iā ia a kāhea iā ia he aha ia, ʻo Brainwashing. No laila i kēia manawa, he aha i ka honua i hiki i ka makuakāne o Dave ke hana a hana paha i kēia manawa ua ʻelemakule ʻo Dave?

No ka ʻike i ka mea e hana ai, pono mākou e ʻike mua i ka holoi lolo. I ko Dave kūlana, ua hoʻohana kona makuahine i ke kaʻawale a me ka mana nui o kona ʻike i kona makuakāne me nā wahaheʻe a me nā ʻōlelo maikaʻi ʻole. Minamina, a kaumaha loa, ʻaʻole nui ka hiki i ka makuakāne o Dave ke hana. Ua hoʻāʻo mau ʻo ia e pili pili iā Dave ma ka lawe ʻana iā ia i ka ʻaina awakea a i ʻole nā ​​hanana haʻuki. Ua hoʻāʻo ʻo ia e kaohi i ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana i ka mea hiki ke hiki ke hoʻohui ʻia ma o nā leka uila a me nā lā kūikawā me kāna keiki. I kēlā manawa, aloha wale ko Dave makuakāne iā ia a hoʻomanawanui (e like me ka hoʻoikaika ʻana a kāna mea lapaʻau). Ua ʻimi ka makuakāne o Dave i ke kākoʻo a me ke alakaʻi i hana hewa ʻole ai ʻo ia iā Dave.

ʻO ka hakakā me ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa iā ʻoe iho a me ke kaumaha

I ka ulu ʻana o Dave a komo i ke ʻano makua, ua hoʻomau ʻo ia i ka hakakā me ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa loa iā ʻoe iho a me nā ʻano maʻi maʻi. Ua hoʻomau pū ʻia kona kaumaha a ua ʻike ʻo ia e keakea ana kāna mau pilikia i kona ola. I kekahi lā, ua loaʻa iā ia kāna "manawa maopopo". Makemake mākou ka poʻe loea e kapa iā ia he manawa "aha". ʻAʻole maopopo iā ia ma hea, ka wā a pehea paha ia e hana ai, akā i kekahi lā ua ala ʻo ia a haʻalele maoli i kona makuakāne. Ua hoʻomaka ʻo ia e hoʻonui i ka manawa me kona makuakāne, kāhea iā ia i kēlā me kēia pule a hoʻomaka i kahi hana hoʻohui hou. ʻAʻole ia a hiki i ka manawa o ka maopopo ʻana iā Dave i hiki i ka makuakāne o Dave ke hana maoli i kekahi mea e hakakā ai i ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana / holoi lolo.

Ua pili hope ʻo Dave me kāna pono hanau e aloha i nā mākua a aloha ʻia e nā mākua ʻelua. Me kēia ʻike, ua ʻimi ʻo Dave i kāna lāʻau ponoʻī a hoʻomaka i ke kaʻina hana o ka hoʻōla i ka hōʻino āna i hoʻomanawanui ai. Ua hiki iā ia ke kamaʻilio pū me ia e pili ana i nā mea āna i aʻo ai a i ʻike ʻia. Lōʻihi kēia no ka launa ʻana o kāna pilina me kona makuahine akā pili ʻo ia i nā mākua ʻelua, makemake e ʻike a ʻike ʻia e lāua ʻelua.

ʻO ka mea pōpilikia i loko o kēia moʻolelo he pono kūloko a me ka makemake o nā keiki e aloha i nā mākua a aloha ʻia e nā mākua ʻelua. ʻAʻole hoʻololi kahi male male i kēlā. No ka mea e heluhelu ana i kēia ʻatikala, e ʻoluʻolu e hoʻokau i kāu poʻe keiki ma mua.

Paipai i nā keiki e pili me ka makua ʻē aʻe

Inā ua hoʻokaʻawale a haʻalele paha ʻoe me kāu wahine e ʻoluʻolu e paipai i kāu mau keiki e pili me ka makua ʻē aʻe e like me ka hiki a ma loko o nā loio o ka ʻaelike mālama. E ʻoluʻolu e kūlike a maʻalahi hoʻi e like me ka pilina e pono ai ka manawa e ulu a ulu. E ʻoluʻolu mai ʻōlelo maikaʻi ʻole e pili ana i ka makua ʻē aʻe i mua o ke keiki a i ʻole i ka pepeiao o ke keiki. E ʻoluʻolu e ʻimi ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo no nā pilikia i loaʻa ʻole me kāu ex me ka ʻole e ninini ʻia kāu pilikia pilikino i nā keiki. ʻO ka mea nui, inā ʻaʻohe hōʻike o ka hoʻomāinoino a laila e ʻoluʻolu e kākoʻo i ka pili o kāu keiki me ka makua ʻē aʻe. ʻAʻole noi nā keiki i kahi hemo. ʻAʻole loa lākou e noi i kā lākou ʻohana e wāwahi ʻia. ʻO nā keiki o ka hemo he makua ko lākou e mālama i ka mahalo a me ka ʻoluʻolu maʻamau e hoʻomaʻamaʻa i ka ʻoi aku o ka maikaʻi ma ke ola a loaʻa nā pilina lōʻihi lōʻihi olakino. E hoʻokau i nā keiki a me kā lākou mau pono ma mua. ʻAʻole anei ia ka manaʻo o ka makua?