Anter
- 1. He mau kānaka paʻa ʻolua
- 2. Kūlike ʻoe a me kāu hoa ma kahi pae nui
- 3. Kūlike ʻole ʻoe i ke ʻano olakino
- 4. Hoʻolālā ʻolua i kekahi i kekahi
- 5. Hoʻomaikaʻi ʻoe i kekahi i kekahi ma nā ala liʻiliʻi i kēlā me kēia lā
- 6. Hoʻoikaika nui ʻoe i ka pilina
- 7. Aia ke kahua o ka hilinaʻi ma waena ou
- 8. ʻAe ʻae ʻoe i kekahi i kekahi
- 9. Hāʻawi like ʻoe i ka ulu ʻuhane o kekahi
ʻO ka pilina olakino kahi pilina paʻa. ʻIke mākou āpau i nā kāne e hakakā e like me nā pōpoki a me nā ʻīlio i kekahi lā, makemake nui e like me ka wahine hou i ka lā aʻe. Aia lākou ma ke kaʻe o ka hemo a ke kaena paha i ko lākou aloha hou i ka poʻe a pau e hoʻolohe.
ʻAʻole hauʻoli kēlā mau kāne i kahi pilina paʻa; ʻaʻole lōʻihi ka lōʻihi o kā lākou launa ʻana, a i ʻole, inā piha ia i ka hana keaka, nā waimaka, a me ka hauʻoli ʻole. ʻAʻohe mea e hauʻoli i ka pili i ka pilina bipolar. Hiki iā ia ke hoʻohoka iā ʻoe, makaʻu a palekana hoʻi. He kuleana ko mākou āpau e hauʻoli i kahi pilina i laulā, aloha a palekana iā mākou. "Kūleʻa" ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo "luʻuluʻu". ʻO "Stable" kahi mea leʻaleʻa, hoʻonui i ke ola a me ke kumu no ka pilina ikaika a aloha.
Eia nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo mākaukau 9 e kōkua iā ʻoe e kūkulu i kahi pilina paʻa:
1. He mau kānaka paʻa ʻolua
I mea e hoʻokumu ai i kahi pilina paʻa, pono nā ʻelua mau hoa e kūpaʻa iā lākou iho. Kēia mea i hana ʻeleu e hana i ka makua ponoʻī. Ua aʻo a hoʻohui lākou i nā haʻawina ola nui. Inā loaʻa iā lākou nā pilikia i hoʻonā ʻole ʻia, ua hana lākou i kēia mau mea ma o ka therapy a i ʻole me kahi alakaʻi aʻo hilinaʻi ʻia. Ua hana lākou i nā ola e hoʻokō a hoʻonui ana. Ke hui pū nā poʻe kūpaʻa, kaulike ka pilina ma hope.
2. Kūlike ʻoe a me kāu hoa ma kahi pae nui
Ke hana nei a mālama ʻana paha i kahi pilina paʻa e pono ai nā kaʻana like ʻole e kaʻana like i nā waiwai nui.
ʻO ka manaʻo o kēia ua ʻae lākou i kekahi mau mea nui, e like me ka ʻike i ke kālā, ka politika, ka ʻohana, ka naʻau, ke kūpaʻa, ka moekolohe a me ke alapine, nā koho nohona e like me ka ʻai olakino, hoʻoikaika kino a me ka puhipaka.
Hiki i nā kāne ke kūʻē i kekahi o kēia mau kiko ke loaʻa iā lākou iho me ka hakakā i kā lākou pili, e hoʻokumu ana i ka paʻa ʻole. ʻO kahi laʻana, manaʻo ʻoe he mea nui ka mālama ʻana i kou kino i ke ala olakino. Hana pinepine ʻoe, noho mamao i nā meaʻai i hana ʻia, a ʻaʻole puhipaka. Inā he hoa kāu e noho a puni ka lā i ka puhipaka ʻana a me ka ʻai ʻana i nā kīpala, ʻaʻole kēia e hāpai i kahi ʻano kūpaʻa i kou pilina. Kū'ē kūlike kou mau nohona kumu. ʻO ka mālama ʻana i kahi pilina paʻa e paʻakikī i kēia hihia.
3. Kūlike ʻole ʻoe i ke ʻano olakino
ʻO nā kāne e ʻoluʻolu nei i kahi pilina paʻa e kamaʻilio me ka ʻoluʻolu a me ka mahalo.
Ke hakakā nei lākou, pale lākou i ka hōʻino ʻana i kekahi i kekahi a i ʻole ka lawe ʻana i nā hewa i hala. Pili lākou i ke kumuhana a hoʻolohe i ka ʻaoʻao o kekahi i kekahi. ʻAe lākou i kekahi i kekahi e hōʻike iā lākou iho me ka ʻole o ka hoʻoki ʻana.
Hana nui lākou e hoʻomaopopo i ka ʻike o ka poʻe ʻē aʻe i ke kumu o ka ʻaelike. Hoao nā kāne ma nā pilina paʻa ʻole a hōʻike kekahi i kekahi no ke aha lākou e pono ai a hewa kekahi. Ua pani lākou i kā lākou hoapili a i ʻole pani lākou iā lākou iho, no laila ʻaʻole e neʻe ke kūkā i ka hoʻonā. Kūpono ʻole lākou i kekahi i kekahi, me ka hoʻohana ʻana i nā huaʻōlelo e like me "pani!" a i ʻole “ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i kekahi mea kūpono!” Hele a puni kā lākou mau paio, a hoʻopau wale lākou no ka mea ua luhi kekahi kanaka me ka ʻuā ʻana a me ka ʻuwā ʻana.
4. Hoʻolālā ʻolua i kekahi i kekahi
Ke hele nei ʻoe i kou lā, huli kou mau manaʻo i kāu hoa. Inā he hoʻoholo nui kāu e hoʻoholo ai, kūkākūkā ʻoe me kāu hoa. ʻImi ʻoe i ka manaʻo o kāu hoa ma kāu papahana ponoʻī a me kāu hoʻolālā. ʻO ka hauʻoli a me ka maikaʻi o kāu hoa kahi helu nui hoʻokahi no ʻoe.
5. Hoʻomaikaʻi ʻoe i kekahi i kekahi ma nā ala liʻiliʻi i kēlā me kēia lā
E mālama i kou pilina me ke olakino a paʻa, ʻike ʻoe i nā ala e hoʻomanaʻo ai i kāu hoa i kou aloha iā lākou a me kou mahalo iā lākou i kou ola. Mai ka hana ʻana i kāna kīʻaha kope kakahiaka nui, a i ka lomilomi ʻāʻī maikaʻi ma mua o kona hiamoe ʻana i ka pō, hōʻike ʻoe i kou mahalo ma o ka hoʻopā kino ʻana, ka kamaʻilio waha ʻana a me ke kākau ʻana, a me kahi huaʻōlelo palupalu a me ke aloha ʻole ʻia.
6. Hoʻoikaika nui ʻoe i ka pilina
Ua ʻae ʻolua a ma mua o ka male ʻana ʻaʻole loa e hemo ke kāne male. Hāʻawi kēia ʻike i kahi kūpaʻa i kāu pilina, e ʻae iā ʻoe e hana ma nā manawa o ka paʻakikī ʻike ʻoiai i ka wā o nā pāhaʻi paʻakikī, e hilinaʻi mau kekahi me kekahi.
7. Aia ke kahua o ka hilinaʻi ma waena ou
Noho ka pilina paʻa ma luna o kahi moe o ka hilinaʻi. ʻO ʻoe a me kāu pākana he 100% ʻoiaʻiʻo a maoli me kekahi. ʻAʻohe lili ma waena ou. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hāmama, palupalu a ʻoiaʻiʻo me kekahi. ʻO nā mea makaʻu a me nā ʻano āu e kaʻana like ai me kāu hoa, ʻike ʻoe e aloha mau ʻo ia iā ʻoe a mālama iā ʻoe.
8. ʻAe ʻae ʻoe i kekahi i kekahi
ʻAe nā kāne ma ka pilina paʻa i kekahi i kekahi no ka mea ʻo wai lākou, i kēia manawa, i kēia lā. ʻAʻole lākou i aloha i ka hiki o ka mea ʻē aʻe, ua aloha lākou me kekahi e like me lākou. ʻO nā loli i ka pilina — nā loli o ke kino, nā maʻi, nā pilikia o ke ola, ʻae ʻolua a ʻaʻole hoʻi e hoʻāʻo e hoʻololi i kekahi i kekahi i ka hoa āu e "makemake ai."
9. Hāʻawi like ʻoe i ka ulu ʻuhane o kekahi
ʻImi ʻolua e hoʻomau i ka ulu a hoʻomohala ʻana ma ke ʻano he kanaka. Hoʻokomo ʻia ʻoe i ka olakino noʻonoʻo o kekahi. Kaʻana like ʻoe me kekahi i nā haʻawina ola āu e aʻo ai i kou neʻe ʻana i mua, a me ka pāʻina ke hālāwai kāu hoa me nā pilikia āna i hoʻonohonoho ai nona iho. Hoʻomaopopo ʻolua i ka makana o ke ola a me ke aloha he mea nui ia, a mālama ʻoe i kēia i ka mua o kou noʻonoʻo i ʻole e lawe wale i kēia mau mea.