Anter
- Paipai ʻia - Mālama i kaʻu papa male
- 1. Ma muli o ke kumu hoʻohālike o ko mākou mau mākua a me nā kūpuna
- 2. Nā huhū
- 3. Ka makaʻu i ka pilina
- 4. Nā mākau kamaʻilio weliweli
- 5. Haʻahaʻa iho iā ʻoe iho a haʻahaʻa i ka hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho
- 6. Ua kuhihewa ʻoe, a ua male i ke kanaka hewa?
- E ʻimi i ke kōkua ʻoihana
- Kākau iho
- E aʻo pehea e hoʻomaka ai e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kou mau manaʻo
- E hoʻomaka me ka nīnau ʻana i nā nīnau maikaʻi loa
- E ʻike i ke kumu o kou hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho
- E uhaʻi i ke kuhihewa
Aia ʻoe i loko o ka male maikaʻi ʻole? He hemahema paha o ke akamai kamaʻilio, a i ʻole kekahi mea ʻē aʻe? Hiki paha i ka nui o nā male i ka hana ʻole ma mua o ka wā ma mua?
Maliʻa paha ma muli o ka pāpāho a me ka Pūnaewele, heluhelu mau mākou e pili ana i ka poʻe e pili ana i nā hihia, a i ʻole ka mea hōʻalo i nā pilina a i ʻole kekahi ʻano ʻano hana ʻē aʻe e luku nei i nā pilina hou a me nā male hou a puni ka honua.
No nā makahiki he 28 i hala aku nei, ke kōkua nei ʻo David Essel i kahi mea kākau maikaʻi loa, mea aʻoaʻo a me ke kumu aʻo ola i ke aʻo ʻana i nā kāne i ka mea e pono ai ka olakino a me ka pilina maikaʻi.
Ma lalo, ua kamaʻilio ʻo David e pili ana i ka male maikaʻi ʻole, nā kumu a me nā hoʻōla
"Nīnau mau ʻia wau ma nā nīele uila a ma kaʻu mau haʻiʻōlelo a puni ʻo USA, he aha ka pākēneka o ka male e hana maikaʻi nei i kēia manawa?
Ma hope o 30 mau makahiki o ke lilo ʻana i kākāʻōlelo a me koʻi ola, hiki iaʻu ke haʻi iā ʻoe i ka pākēneka o ka male olakino olakino loa. 25% paha? A laila ʻo ka nīnau hou e nīnau ʻia nei iaʻu, no ke aha mākou e hana nui ai i ke aloha? Loaʻa ka hemahema o ka mākau kamaʻilio, a i ʻole kekahi mea ʻē aʻe?
ʻAʻole maʻalahi ka pane, akā hiki iaʻu ke haʻi iā ʻoe ʻaʻole ia he pilikia wale me nā mākau kamaʻilio, he mea hiki ke hele i kahi hohonu loa ma mua o kēlā.
Paipai ʻia - Mālama i kaʻu papa male
Ma lalo iho, e kūkākūkā i nā kumu nui ʻeono no ke aha i nui ai ka maikaʻi ʻole o ka male i kēia lā, a me nā mea e pono ai mākou e hana a huli aʻe.
1. Ma muli o ke kumu hoʻohālike o ko mākou mau mākua a me nā kūpuna
Ke ukali nei mākou i nā kumu hoʻohālike o ko mākou mau mākua a me nā kūpuna, i noho paha i nā pilina maikaʻi ʻole no 30, 40 a 50 mau makahiki paha. ʻAʻole ʻokoʻa kēia a inā he pilikia kou makuahine a makua paha me ka wai ʻona, nā lāʻau lapaʻau, ka puhi ʻana a i ʻole ka meaʻai e loaʻa ai iā ʻoe kahi ʻano kolohe like e holo nei i kou ola i kēia manawa.
Ma waena o nā makahiki o ka ʻole a me 18, ko mākou noʻonoʻo subconscious kahi sponge i ke kaiapuni a puni mākou.
No laila inā ʻike ʻoe i ka makuakāne he kolohe, huhū wale ʻo māmā, koho aha? Ke male ʻoe a i ʻole i kahi pilina koʻikoʻi, mai kahaha i ka wā e hoʻopiʻi mai ana kāu pakanā iā ʻoe no ka mea he kolohe, a me ka huhū passive.
Ke hana hou nei ʻoe i ka mea āu i ʻike ai e ulu ana, ʻaʻole ia he kala, he ʻoiaʻiʻo wale nō ia.
2. Nā huhū
ʻO nā huhū i hoʻonā ʻole ʻia, i kaʻu hana, ʻo ia ka helu helu hoʻokahi o ke kīnā ʻole o ka male i kēia lā.
ʻO nā inaina i mālama ʻole ʻia, hiki ke hoʻololi i nā hihia pili i ka naʻau, ka hōʻalo, ka hana ʻana, ka hana passive-agresive, a me nā mea pili kino pū kekahi.
ʻO nā huhū i hoʻonā ʻole ʻia e haki i nā pilina. Hoʻopau ia i nā manawa o kekahi pilina e kūleʻa ke loaʻa nā huhū i hoʻonā ʻole ʻia.
3. Ka makaʻu i ka pilina
He mea nui kēia. I kā mākou aʻo ʻana, pili ka pilina ma 100% ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.
Me kāu ipo, kāu kāne a wahine paha, ipo a ipo wahine paha, ʻo kekahi o nā mea e hoʻokaʻawale i ka pilina āu me lākou mai kāu hoa aloha aku, pono ʻoe e 100% ʻoiaʻiʻo me lākou i ke ola mai ka lā mua.
ʻO ka pili aloha maoli kēlā. Ke hoʻokaʻaʻike aku ʻoe me kāu hoa i kahi mea e hōʻole ʻia ai ʻoe, a i hōʻino ʻia paha e pili ana iā ʻoe, ke makaʻu nei ʻoe i nā mea āpau, he ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻoe a he palupalu ʻoe naʻu e pili ana i ka pili aloha.
I hoʻokahi makahiki i hala aku nei, ua hana wau me kekahi mau kāne i loko o ke kino nui loa. ʻAʻole hauʻoli ke kāne mai ka hoʻomaka e pili ana i kāna moekolohe me kāna wahine. ʻAʻole makemake kāna wahine e honi. Makemake wale ʻo ia e "hoʻopau me", ma muli o kekahi mau ʻike i loaʻa iā ia i loko o nā pilina ma mua ʻaʻole maikaʻi loa.
Akā mai kinohi mai, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i ʻōlelo iki. Ua mālama ʻo ia i nā inaina. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i hoʻopono.
Ua makemake ʻo ia i kahi pilina honi hohonu, ma mua a ma ka wā o ka moekolohe a ʻaʻohe ona mea e pili ai i kēlā.
I kā mākou hana pū, ua hiki iā ia ke hōʻike me ke aloha, ka mea āna i makemake ai a hiki iā ia ke hōʻike me ke aloha, no ke aha ʻo ia i hōʻoluʻolu ʻole ai i ka nāwaliwali ma kahi o ka honi.
ʻO ko lākou makemake e makaʻu e wehe, nāwaliwali ke alakaʻi i kahi hoʻōla hiki ʻole i ke aloha, kahi mea i loaʻa ʻole iā lākou i loko o 20 mau makahiki o ko lāua male ʻana.
4. Nā mākau kamaʻilio weliweli
I kēia manawa ma mua o kou lele ʻana i ka bandwagon "kamaʻilio nā mea āpau", e nānā ma hea ia i kēia papa inoa. Hele i lalo. ʻO ia ka helu ʻehā.
ʻLelo wau i ka poʻe i nā manawa āpau i hele mai a noi iaʻu e aʻo iā lākou i nā mākau kamaʻilio me he mea lā e loli ana ka pilina, ʻaʻole ia.
ʻIke wau, 90% o nā kākāʻōlelo āu e kamaʻilio ai e haʻi iā ʻoe ʻo nā mea āpau e pili ana i nā mākau kamaʻilio, a e haʻi wau iā ʻoe ua hewa lākou āpau.
Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e mālama i nā helu ma luna ʻekolu ma aneʻi, ʻaʻole wau e hāʻawi i kahi crap pehea ka nui o ka mea kamaʻilio kamaʻilio, ʻaʻole ia e hōʻola i ka male.
I kēia manawa he waiwai anei e aʻo i nā mākau kamaʻilio ma ka laina? Ae nō hoʻi! Akā, ʻaʻole a hiki i kou wā e mālama ai i nā helu ʻekolu i luna.
5. Haʻahaʻa iho iā ʻoe iho a haʻahaʻa i ka hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho
E kuʻu Akua, e hana kēia i nā pilina a pau, i kēlā me kēia male ka luʻi loa.
Inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke lohe i ka hoʻāhewa ʻana a kāu poʻe hoa, ʻaʻole wau e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka ʻuwā ʻana a me ka uē ʻana, ke kamaʻilio nei wau e pili ana i ka hoʻohewa maikaʻi ʻole, me ka ʻole o ke kī ʻana. ʻO ia kahi laʻana o ka hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho a me ka hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho.
Inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke nīnau i kāu hoa, no ka mea āu e makemake ai i ke aloha, no ka mea makaʻu ʻoe i ka hōʻole ʻia, haʻalele ʻia a ʻoi aku paha, he hōʻailona ia o ka hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho a me ka hilinaʻi haʻahaʻa iā ʻoe iho.
A ʻo ia kāu “ʻoihana. Pono ʻoe e hana iā ʻoe iho me kahi loea.
6. Ua kuhihewa ʻoe, a ua male i ke kanaka hewa?
Ua male paha ʻoe i kekahi mea uku manuahi, e mālama mau iā ʻoe i ke koʻikoʻi kālā, a ua ʻike ʻoe ia mai kinohi mai, akā hōʻole ʻoe, a ʻānō ua hoʻopunipuni ʻia ʻoe?
A i male paha ʻoe i kahi mea ʻai naʻau, i nā makahiki he 15 i hala aku nei ua loaʻa he 75 mau paona, akā ua ʻike ʻoe he ʻai lākou naʻau inā makemake ʻoe e hoʻopono me ʻoe iho mai ka lā 30 o ka pili aloha.
A i ʻole he ʻona ʻona? I ka hoʻomaka, nui nā pilina ma muli o ka wai ʻona, he ala ia e hōʻemi ai i ka hopohopo a hoʻonui i nā mākau kamaʻilio me kekahi poʻe, akā ua ʻae ʻoe iā ia e hele no ka lōʻihi? ʻO kou pilikia kēlā.
I kēia manawa, he aha kā mākou e hana ai e pili ana i nā pilikia i luna, inā makemake ʻoe e hana i kahi pilina olakino mai kāu mea hana ʻole o kēia manawa?
E ʻimi i ke kōkua ʻoihana
E hoʻolimalima i kahi kākāʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a i ʻole kumu aʻo ola e ʻike inā e mimiki wale ana ʻoe, e hana hou nei i ka hana a kou mau mākua a ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike iā ia. Hiki ke wāwahi ʻia kēia, akā e loaʻa ʻoe i kahi e kōkua iā ʻoe.
Kākau iho
Nā huhū i hoʻonā ʻole ʻia?
Kākau i nā ʻano o lākou. E akāka loa. Inā huhū ʻoe i kāu hoa no ka waiho ʻana iā ʻoe i kahi pāʻina, mālama ʻole ʻia no ʻehā mau hola, e kākau ʻoe i lalo.
Inā loaʻa iā ʻoe nā huhū a kāu hoa e hoʻolilo ai i ka hopena pule āpau e nānā ana i nā haʻuki ma ke kīwī, e kākau ʻoe i lalo. E kiʻi iā ʻoe mai kou poʻo a ma luna o ka pepa, a laila hana hou me kahi ʻoihana e aʻo pehea e hoʻokuʻu ai i nā huhū i ke aloha.
E aʻo pehea e hoʻomaka ai e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kou mau manaʻo
Ka makaʻu i ka pili aloha. Ka makaʻu i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. He mea nui nō hoʻi kēia.
E aʻo ʻoe pehea e hoʻomaka ai e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kou mau manaʻo i ke ʻano ʻoiaʻiʻo loa.
E like me nā ʻanuʻu ʻē aʻe, e hana paha ʻoe me kahi loea e noʻonoʻo pehea e hana ai i kēia wā lōʻihi.
E hoʻomaka me ka nīnau ʻana i nā nīnau maikaʻi loa
Nā mākau kamaʻilio maikaʻi ʻole.
ʻO ke ala ʻoi loa e hoʻomaka ai e hoʻomaikaʻi i kāu mākau kamaʻilio e hoʻomaka me ka nīnau ʻana i nā nīnau maikaʻi maoli.
Pono ʻoe e noʻonoʻo pehea e nīnau ai i kāu hoa i nā mea e pono ai lākou, he aha kā lākou makemake ʻole, he aha nā makemake a lākou e ʻike ai iā lākou i kahi pae hohonu.
A laila, i ka wā o ke kamaʻilio ʻana, keu hoʻi i nā mea paʻakikī, makemake mākou e hoʻohana i kahi mea hana i kapa ʻia ʻo "hoʻolohe hoʻolohe."
He aha ke ʻano o ia mea, ke kamaʻilio pū ana ʻoe me kāu hoa, a makemake ʻoe e mōakāka maoli ke lohe nei ʻoe i ka mea a lākou e ʻōlelo nei, hana hou ʻoe i nā ʻōlelo a lākou e hōʻike nei inā maopopo leʻa iā ʻoe. i kāu mau mākau hoʻolohe, a ʻaʻole ʻoe e kuhi hewa i ka mea a lākou e ʻōlelo nei.
"E ka mea aloha, no laila ʻo ka mea aʻu i lohe ai iā ʻoe e ʻōlelo nei, huhū maoli ʻoe i ka hoʻomau ʻana i ka nū ʻana iā ʻoe i kēlā me kēia kakahiaka o ka Pōʻaono e ʻoki i ka mauʻu, ke makemake ʻoe e ʻokiʻoki ma ke ahiahi Sābati. ʻO ia anei kāu mea e huhū ai?
I kēlā ala, loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi manawa e maopopo loa ai a ma ka lōʻihi like ʻole me kāu hoa.
E ʻike i ke kumu o kou hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho
Hilinaʻi iho i ka hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho. OK, ʻaʻohe pili o kēia me kāu hoa. ʻAʻohe mea.
I ka manawa hou, e ʻike i kahi kākāʻōlelo a i ʻole kumu aʻo ola e hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻike a loaʻa ke kumu o kou hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho a me kou manaʻo haʻahaʻa, a loaʻa nā hana mai iā lākou i kēlā me kēia pule e pili ana pehea e hoʻomaikaʻi ai iā ia.
ʻAʻohe ala ʻē aʻe. ʻAʻohe o kēia mea e pili ai i kāu hoa, ʻo ʻoe wale nō.
E uhaʻi i ke kuhihewa
Ua male ʻoe i ke kanaka hewa. ʻEā, hana mau ia i nā manawa āpau. Akā ʻaʻole na lākou ka hewa, na kou hewa kēlā.
Ma ke ʻano he aʻoaʻo a he kumu aʻo ola, haʻi aku wau i kaʻu mau mea kūʻai aku āpau i ka male maikaʻi ʻole, ʻo ka mea a lākou e ʻike nei i kēia manawa i ʻike maka ʻia i loko o nā lā 90 mua o ka pili aloha.
ʻAʻole kūlike ka hapa nui o ka poʻe i ka manawa mua, akā ʻoiai mākou e hana nei i kā mākou hana home, kākau lākou i ka luliluli ʻana o ko lākou poʻo, pūʻiwa i ka ʻike ʻana ʻaʻole ʻo ka mea a lākou e noho pū nei i kēia manawa i loli maoli mai ka hoʻomaka ʻana ke aloha ʻana iā lākou..
I kekahi mau makahiki i hala aku nei, ua hana wau me kahi wahine, i mare ʻia no 40 a ʻoi paha mau makahiki, he ʻelua mau keiki me kāna kāne, a i ka wā i hoʻi aku ai kāna kāne ma hope ona a loaʻa kahi keʻena, a hoʻomaka wau e noho ma laila e ʻōlelo ana e hele ana ʻo ia i waena o ke kaumaha waena. , ua ʻike ʻo ia e pili ana kāna wahine.
Ua lūlū i kona honua.
Ua manaʻo ʻo ia he male hemolele kā lāua, akā he kuhi hewa loa ia ma kāna ʻaoʻao.
I ka manawa aʻu i hoʻi ai i ka hoʻomaka o ka pili aloha, ʻo kēia ke kāne like nāna e lawe iā ia i kahi pāʻina, e waiho iā ia no nā hola a me nā hola, a laila i ka pau ʻana o ka pāʻina a hele mai a ʻike iā ia a haʻi iā ia ua hiki i ka manawa i ka home.
ʻO kēia ke kāne like e haʻalele i ka hale ma ka hola 4:30 o ke kakahiaka, e haʻi iā ia e pono ʻo ia e hele i ka hana, e hoʻi ʻo ia i ka hale i ka hola ʻeono a e moe ana ma ka hola 8 o ke ahiahi. Mai pili pū me ia.
ʻIke paha ʻoe i ke ʻano like mai ka wā i hoʻomaka mua ai ka pilina? ʻAʻole loaʻa ʻo ia i ke ʻano naʻau, loaʻa ʻole ke kino a ke hana hou nei i ka hana like i kahi ʻano ʻokoʻa.
Ma hope o ka hana pū ʻana, kahi aʻu i kōkua aku ai iā ia ma ka hemo ʻana, ua hoʻōla ʻo ia i loko o hoʻokahi makahiki ka wikiwiki loa, me ka ʻike ʻana ʻaʻole ʻo ia i loli mai kinohi mai, ua male ʻo ia i ke kāne hewa nāna.
Inā heluhelu ʻoe i ka mea i luna, a makemake ʻoe e hoʻopono me ʻoe iho, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻololi i kāu ala ponoʻī i kāu pili aloha aloha ʻole a male paha, a lana ka manaʻo me ka kōkua o kahi ʻoihana.
Aia nō ia iā ʻoe.
Hiki iā ʻoe ke kuhi hewa i ka hewa o kāu hoa āpau, a i ʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke nānā pono i nā mea i luna a hoʻoholo i nā loli āu e pono ai e mālama i kāu pilina inā hiki ke mālama. E hele i kēia manawa