Anter
- Hoʻopili ʻia nā pilina e ka hānai ʻana a nā hoa
- He mau ʻano ʻokoʻa wale nō kā ka wahine ma ka hōʻike ʻana i nā manaʻo
- No laila ʻo ka ʻaoʻao hea ka pololei?
- Ke kūkulu ʻana i ka ʻike e pili ana i nā ʻano o kēlā me kēia hoa
- ʻO nā ʻeha a ke keiki e pili ana i kāu pilina
ʻOiai e ʻike ana i nā mea kūʻai aku hou, lawe wau i kahi lāʻau ʻohana ma loko o nā kau ʻekolu. Hana wau i kēia me ka ʻole hemahema no ka mea ʻo ka mōʻaukala ʻohana kekahi ala pololei loa e hoʻomaopopo ai i ka ikaika o ka pilina.
Paʻi ʻia kā mākou āpau e nā ala a ko mākou ʻohana e hana ai me ka honua. He moʻomeheu kūikawā ko kēlā me kēia ʻohana i kū ma kahi ʻē aʻe. Ma muli o kēia, hoʻopau pinepine nā lula ʻohana ʻaʻole haʻi ʻia i ka hana a ka wahine.
ʻO ka hoʻokele e noho i ka "homeostasis" - ka huaʻōlelo a mākou e hoʻohana ai no ka mālama ʻana i nā mea like, ikaika loa ʻoiai inā hoʻohiki mākou i luna a i lalo ʻaʻole mākou e hana hou i nā hewa a nā mākua e pono mākou e hana.
Hōʻike ko mākou makemake e mālama i nā mea like i ke koho a nā hoa, i ka ʻano hakakā pilikino, i ke ʻano o ka mālama ʻana i ka hopohopo, a me kā mākou akeakamai o ka ʻohana.
E ʻōlelo paha ʻoe "ʻaʻole wau e lilo i makuahine noʻu" akā ʻike ka poʻe ʻē aʻe ua like ʻoe me kou makuahine.
Hoʻopili ʻia nā pilina e ka hānai ʻana a nā hoa
ʻO kekahi o nā nīnau nui aʻu e noi aku nei i nā kāne, “Pehea ka hopena o kāu pilina e ka hānai ʻana a kāu hoa?” Ke nīnau wau i kēia nīnau ua akāka ʻaʻole nā pilikia o ke kamaʻilio ma muli o kekahi hemahema o loko o ka hoa, akā mai ka ʻohana a ka ʻohana a me nā mea i manaʻo ʻia e like lākou i kā lāua male ʻana.
I kekahi manawa, he hopena nā hopena o kahi hānai traumatic a mālama ʻole paha. ʻO kahi laʻana, ʻaʻole maopopo i kahi hoa i loaʻa ka makua ʻona i ka hoʻokau ʻana i nā palena kūpono me kā lākou hoa. ʻIke paha ʻoe i ka paʻakikī e hōʻike i nā manaʻo, ka hakakā e ʻike i ka hōʻoluʻolu ma waena o ka moekolohe, a i ʻole ka huhū pahū.
I nā manawa ʻē aʻe, hiki ke hana i kā mākou mau paio mai loko mai o ka hauʻoli loa o ka hānai ʻana.
Ua launa au me kekahi mau kāne, ʻo Sarah lāua ʻo Andrew *, ke ʻike nei i kahi pilikia maʻamau - ʻo ka hoʻopiʻi a Sarah no kona makemake nui i kāna kāne me ka naʻau ʻole. Ua manaʻo ʻo ia i ka wā a lāua e hoʻopaʻapaʻa ai a ua noho mālie ʻo ia ʻaʻole ia e mālama. Manaʻoʻiʻo ʻo ia ʻo kāna hamū a me ka hōʻalo ʻana ua hoʻokuʻu ʻia, noʻonoʻo ʻole ʻole.
Ua manaʻo ʻo ia i ka wā a lākou e hoʻopaʻapaʻa ai ua pā ʻo ia ma lalo o ke kāʻei a ʻaʻole kūpono ia. Ua manaʻoʻiʻo ʻo ia ke kaua ʻana i waho i ka mea i lawe mai i ka hakakā hou ʻole. Ua manaʻoʻiʻo ʻo ia e ʻohi ʻo ia i kāna mau kaua.
Ma hope o ka ʻimi ʻana i kā lākou ʻike i ka hakakā, ʻike wau ʻaʻole kekahi o lākou e hana i kekahi mea "ma lalo o ke kāʻei" a i ʻole ma ke ʻano "kaulike ʻole". Ke manaʻo nei lākou i ka mea a lākou e hana nei i kā lākou hoa e hoʻokele i ka hakakā ma ke ʻano o ka manaʻo kūlohelohe.
Ua noi au iā Andrew e haʻi mai iaʻu pehea kona manaʻoʻiʻo e ola ana kona ʻohana ma waena o kā lākou pilina. Pane ʻo Andrew i ka maopopo ʻole iā ia.
Manaʻo ʻo ia ʻaʻohe o lākou hopena nui a ʻaʻole ʻo ia a me Sarah i like me kona mau mākua.
I koʻu nīnau ʻana pehea i manaʻo ai ʻo Andrew e ola ana ka hānai ʻana a Sarah a me ka nohona ʻohana ma waena o kā lāua pilina ua pane koke ʻo ia me ka hōʻuluʻulu hohonu.
ʻIke wau he ʻoiaʻiʻo kēia i ka hapa nui o ka manawa, ʻike kiʻekiʻe mākou i ke kumu a kā mākou hoa e hana ai a me ka hyperawcious no ke aha mākou e hana ai i kā mākou hana.
Ua pane ʻo Andrew ua ulu ʻo Sarah i kahi ʻohana Italia nui me nā kaikuahine ʻehā. ʻO nā kaikuahine a me ka makuahine he "manaʻo nui". ʻLelo lākou "aloha au iā ʻoe", ʻakaʻaka pū lākou, uē pū lākou, a i ka wā e hakakā ana ua puka nā māiʻuʻu.
Akā ma hope, 20 mau minuke ma hope e nānā pū ana lākou i ke kīwī ma ka moe, e ʻakaʻaka ana, e ʻakaʻaka ana, a me ka ʻūlili ʻana. Ua wehewehe ʻo ia i ka makuakāne o Sarah e noho mālie akā loaʻa. I ka wā i "hoʻoheheʻe" nā kaikamahine e kamaʻilio mālie ka makuakāne iā lākou a hōʻoia iā lākou. ʻAʻole kāna aʻo ʻana i aʻo ʻia e Sarah e kāohi i kona mau naʻau a no ka mea ua aʻo ʻo ia e hōʻino iā ia.
E like me Andrew, ua ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hiki iā Sarah ke wehewehe i ka hopena o ka pilina o ko Andrew ʻohana. "ʻAʻole lākou i kamaʻilio pū kekahi. Kaumaha maoli ia ”, ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia. "Hōʻalo lākou i nā pilikia a maopopo leʻa akā makaʻu nui nā kānaka āpau i ke kamaʻilio. Huhū maoli nō wau ke ʻike wau i ka nānā nui ʻole i nā pilikia i loko o ka ʻohana. I ka wā e hakakā maoli ana ʻo Andrew i kekahi mau makahiki i hala aku nei ʻaʻohe mea nāna e lawe mai. Me he mea lā iaʻu ʻaʻole nui ke aloha ma laila ”.
ʻO kāna hōʻuluʻulu manaʻo ʻaʻole i aʻo ʻo Andrew i ke aloha. ʻO nā ala mālie o kona ʻohana i hana ʻia ai mai ka mālama ʻole ʻana i ka naʻau.
He mau ʻano ʻokoʻa wale nō kā ka wahine ma ka hōʻike ʻana i nā manaʻo
E ʻike paha ʻoe i kā lākou loiloi ʻana i nā ʻohana o kekahi.
I ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i ke ʻano o ka hopena o ka ʻohana a kā lāua hoapili i ka pili o kā lāua pilina, ua hoʻoholo lāua ʻelua he pilikia ka ʻohana o ka mea ʻē aʻe i ka hana ʻana i kahi kokoke a lāua i makemake ai.
Eia nō naʻe, ʻo kaʻu anamanaʻo ka aloha nui o ko lāua ʻohana kekahi i kekahi.
Aloha ʻokoʻa lākou.
Ua aʻo ko ka ʻohana o Sarah iā Sarah ʻaʻole pono e hoʻohana ʻia i nā naʻau. Ua manaʻoʻiʻo kona ʻohana i ka kaʻana like ʻana i nā manaʻo maikaʻi a maikaʻi ʻole hoʻi. ʻOiai ʻo ka huhū kahi manawa kūpono e pili ai i kona ʻohana. ʻAʻohe mea maikaʻi ʻole i hele mai mai ka uwa ʻana o kekahi i kekahi, ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo i kekahi manawa maikaʻi ma hope o ka ʻuwā maikaʻi ʻana.
I ko Andrew ʻohana, ua hōʻike ʻia ke aloha e ka hana ʻana i kahi nohona mālie a mālie. Ua hōʻike ʻia ka mahalo ma ka ʻae ʻana i ka pilikino. Ma ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana i nā keiki i nā mākua inā makemake lākou i kahi mea a makemake paha e kaʻana akā ʻaʻole prying. Ua hāʻawi ʻia ka palekana ma ke komo ʻole ʻana i kahi hakakā.
No laila ʻo ka ʻaoʻao hea ka pololei?
He nīnau paʻakikī kēia e pane. Ua hana pololei nā ʻohana a Andrew lāua ʻo Sarah. Ua hānai lākou i nā keiki olakino, hauʻoli, a hoʻoponopono maikaʻi. Eia naʻe, ʻaʻole kūpono ke kaila i loko o kā lākou ʻohana i hana hou ʻia.
Ke kūkulu ʻana i ka ʻike e pili ana i nā ʻano o kēlā me kēia hoa
Pono lākou e kūkulu i ka ʻike e pili ana i nā ʻano hana i loaʻa iā lākou mai ko lākou mau ʻohana a hoʻoholo noʻonoʻo i ka mea e noho ai a me nā mea e holo ana. Pono lākou e hoʻonui i ko lākou ʻike i kā lākou hoa a loaʻa ka mākaukau e hoʻopili i kā lākou akeakamai o ka ʻohana.
ʻO nā ʻeha a ke keiki e pili ana i kāu pilina
Ke manaʻo nei kekahi hopena o ka hānai ʻohana i kāu hoa e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i ka mea i loaʻa ʻole iā ʻoe. He mau ʻeha mau kā mākou āpau mai ka wā kamaliʻi a lilo mākou i ka ikehu palena ʻole e hoʻāʻo nei e hoʻōla iā lākou.
ʻAʻoleʻike pinepine mākou i kēia mau hoʻāʻo, akā aia nō lākou i laila. Ke loaʻa iā mākou kahi ʻeha mau loa o ka hoʻomaopopo ʻole ʻia, ʻimi nui mākou i ka hōʻoia.
Ke hōʻeha ʻia mākou me nā mākua i hōʻino waha, ʻimi mākou i ka akahai. Ke kani nui ko mākou mau ʻohana makemake mākou i ka noho mālie. Ke haʻalele ʻia mākou, makemake mākou i ka palekana. A laila hoʻopaʻa mākou i kā mākou mau hoa i kahi kūlana kūpono ʻole o ka hana ʻana i kēia mau mea no mākou. Kūhewa mākou inā ʻaʻole hiki. ʻIke mākou ʻaʻole aloha ʻia a hoʻohoka ʻia mākou.
ʻO ka manaolana e loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi hoa ʻuhane hiki ke hoʻōla i kāu hala i hala kahi manaolana maʻamau a ma muli o ia mea, he mea hōʻeha pū kekahi.
ʻO ka hoʻōla ʻana iā ʻoe iho i kēia mau ʻeha ke ala mua i mua.
ʻO ke kumu o kāu pakanā e paʻa i kou lima ʻoiai ʻoe e hana ana. E ʻōlelo "ʻike wau i ka mea i hōʻeha iā ʻoe a eia wau ma aneʻi. Makemake wau e hoʻolohe. Makemake wau e kākoʻo iā ʻoe ”.
* Ua haʻi ʻia ka moʻolelo ma ke ʻano he laula a ʻaʻole hoʻokumu ʻia ma waena o kekahi mau kāne aʻu i ʻike ai.