Anter
- 1. E mahalo iā ia
- 2. Kū i loko me ka nīnau ʻole ʻia mai
- 3. Hoʻolilo pū i ka manawa maikaʻi
- 4. Hoʻohanohano i kāna pono no ka palekana o ka naʻau
- 5. E ʻike ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke hoʻopau i kona mau manaʻo a me nā ʻano
- 6. E ʻike i kāna ʻōlelo aloha a hoʻohana ia i kou pono
- 7. E kūkulu iā ia i luna
Manaʻo wau ua lohe ʻoe i ka ʻōlelo "wahine hauʻoli, hauʻoli ke ola." He paʻakikī ka pilikia (a hiki iā ia ke manaʻo he hiki ʻole) ke ʻike i nā mea e hauʻoli ai ʻo ia no ka mea, e alo ia, ʻokoʻa ka ʻokoʻa o kā mākou wahine iā ʻoukou.
ʻO ka mea aʻu e makemake ai e ʻike ʻoe, aia nō ka puʻuwai i kou puʻuwai ma kahi kūpono. (Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe ʻaʻole e heluhelu ana i kēia.) Pono wale ʻoe e haʻalele i ka manaʻo ʻana e like me ka manaʻo o kāu wahine. (A ʻo mākou e nā wahine pono e haʻalele i ka manaʻo ʻana e like me mākou.)
A he kūlohelohe ka noʻonoʻo ʻana e like ka manaʻo o kāu wahine me ʻoe. Ma hope o nā mea āpau me he mea lā ua hana ʻoe i kou wā i aloha mua ai, ʻeā?
Eia, eia ka mea, ma hope o ka pau ʻana o ka potion aloha a hoʻomaka ʻoe e ola i kou ola maoli ma ke ʻano he kāne a wahine a haʻalele ʻoe i ka nānā nui ʻana i kekahi i kekahi. A ke hōʻoki ʻoe i kou nānā ʻana i ka hyper e kāpae i kou noʻonoʻo like ʻana no ka mea ʻo nā mea ʻē aʻe, ka poʻe, nā hanana a me nā ʻike i kēia manawa e koi i kekahi (a i ʻole ʻo ka hapa nui paha) o kāu nānā.
Lana ka manaʻo, ke manaʻo nei ʻoe e hana iki ana kēia i kāu ʻaoʻao e hoʻohuli i nā mea i loko o kāu male a hiki i kahi i hauʻoli ai a ua loaʻa iā ʻoe kou ola hauʻoli me ia. Akā, mai hopohopo, ʻaʻole koʻikoʻi ka hana no ka mea ʻo kāu hoaaloha wale nō kāu e hana ai.
I kēia manawa ma mua o kou hoʻomaka ʻana i ke koi ʻana he hoaaloha mua ʻoe naʻu, e hoʻomanaʻo ʻoe ke manaʻo nei ʻoe manaʻo ʻo ia e like me ʻoe. ʻAʻole ʻo ia. ʻO ka launa aloha ʻana iā ia ʻo ka hoʻomaopopo a me ke kākoʻo ʻana iā ia ma ke ʻano kūpono - ʻaʻole iā ʻoe.
No laila eia nā ala 7 e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke hoʻomaikaʻi i kou aloha me kāu wahine:
1. E mahalo iā ia
E mahalo i kona mau manaʻo, nā manaʻo, nā manaʻoʻiʻo, nā manaʻo, nā mea mua, nā waiwai, ka hana, nā leʻaleʻa, nā makemake, nā pono, a me ka manawa e like me kou makemake iā ia e mahalo iā ʻoe. E manaʻoʻiʻo paha ʻaʻole paha, ʻo ka hapa nui o nā kāne e hōʻemi koke i ka manaʻo, ka manaʻo, ka manaʻo, ka manaʻo, nā mea nui, nā hana, nā leʻaleʻa, nā makemake, nā pono, a me ka manawa ke kūʻē kēia mau mea i ka mea a lākou e makemake ai.
No ka hapanui o nā kāne, ʻaʻole ia ma ke kumu no ka mea pehea lākou e mālama ai i kahi kāne ʻē aʻe. Lana lākou i kahi kāne ʻē aʻe e haʻi iā lākou ʻaʻole. Akā, e hoʻomanaʻo, ʻaʻole noʻonoʻo kāu wahine e like me ʻoe no laila manaʻo ʻo ia i ka hōʻihi ʻole ke hoʻokau pinepine ʻoe i kāu papahana ma mua ona.
2. Kū i loko me ka nīnau ʻole ʻia mai
Ua ʻike anei ʻoe i ka hana mau o kāu wahine? (OK, ʻaʻole like nā wahine āpau me kēia, akā ʻo ka hapanui.) Loaʻa mau iā ia kahi mea āna e hana nei a ʻano laha ʻole ke ʻike iā ia e noho i lalo a hoʻomaha. Manaʻo ʻo ia e ʻike ʻoe i ka hana nui ʻana e mālama ai i nā keiki, nā holoholona, nā hale a me nā meaʻai. A hana paha ʻoe.
ʻO ka pilikia e pono iā ia e kōkua i ka mālama ʻana i nā keiki, nā holoholona, nā hale a me nā meaʻai. Pono ka mālama ʻana i kou hale a me kou ʻohana iā ʻolua no ka mea ʻo lāua ʻelua ia. No laila e hele i waho me ka noi ʻole ʻia. E nānā i nā mea e pono ai ka hana a hana wale nō. Auē, a mai manaʻo iā ia e hoʻomaikaʻi iā ʻoe no ka hana ʻana ma mua o kou mahalo iā ia no ka hana ʻana i nā mea e mālama ai i kou ʻohana a me kou ʻohana.
3. Hoʻolilo pū i ka manawa maikaʻi
Ano ʻokoʻa paha kona manaʻo no ka manawa maikaʻi ma mua o kou, no laila e ʻike pono a hana i nā mea āna e hauʻoli ai i ka hana a ʻaʻole wale nā mea āna e hana ai me ʻoe e ʻoluʻolu ai iā ʻoe. (ʻO ka mea huna āu e pono ai e ʻike ʻo ia paha leʻaleʻa ʻo ia e kamaʻilio pū me ʻoe a pili pū me ʻoe i kahi pae manaʻo.)
4. Hoʻohanohano i kāna pono no ka palekana o ka naʻau
Ua heluhelu au i ka mahalo o ka wahine i ka palekana o ka naʻau ma mua o ka palekana kālā. ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu inā ʻaʻole paha, akā ʻike wau pono pono nā wahine e palekana e haʻi iā lākou iho. ʻO ka hapanui o mākou nā wahine ʻuhane a pono e ʻike e mahalo kā mākou kāne i kēia mea e pili ana iā mākou.
(Pono mākou i kā mākou mau kāne e ʻike he maʻalahi mākou i ko lākou naʻau.)
Inā ʻaʻole mākou e palekana i ka naʻau, hoʻomaka mākou e pani a nānā i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e hōʻona i kā mākou pono no ka pilina o ka naʻau. I kēia manawa ʻaʻole wau e ʻōlelo e ʻimi mākou i kahi kāne ʻē aʻe (ʻoiai e hana ana kekahi mau wahine), akā e hoʻomaka mākou e hoʻonui i ka manawa me nā poʻe e hoʻopiha ana i kēia pono no mākou - e like me nā hoaaloha a me ko mākou ʻohana.
5. E ʻike ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke hoʻopau i kona mau manaʻo a me nā ʻano
ʻIke wau he mea ʻē paha kēia iā ʻoukou e hiki ai ke waiho maʻalahi i nā mea mai ko ʻoukou noʻonoʻo, akā ʻaʻole hiki i ka hapa nui o nā wahine ke hana i kēlā. Kūleʻa mākou i kahi manaʻo bazillion a me nā manaʻo e hele i loko o ko mākou mau noʻonoʻo i nā manawa āpau.
Manaʻo wau ua lohe ʻoe i ka ʻōlelo hoʻomākeʻaka e pili ana i nā kāne e ʻehaʻeha nei i ke kuko a ʻāwīwī wale nō kāna ʻōlelo ʻana, "Blue." Ke hoʻāʻo nei ʻo ia e hoʻomau i kāna mea nui, akā ʻaʻole ʻo ia makemake e nānā ʻole iā ia no ka mea ua nīnau ʻo ia, "He aha?" Pane ʻo ia, "Manaʻo wau e pena wau i ka lumi moe polū." ʻĀ, hōʻino ia i ke ʻano nona, akā mākaukau naʻe ʻo ia e hele no ka mea ua hoʻoholo ʻo ia i kahi pilikia a ia e hakakā nei no kekahi manawa! A ʻo ia, e nā haku, pehea e hana ai ka noʻonoʻo o ka wahine.
No laila e hāʻawi iā ia i ka manawa inā loaʻa ʻo ia i kahi manaʻo a i ʻole ʻano ʻoliʻoli a ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke waiho wale. E kamaʻilio hoʻomanawanui me ia e pili ana i ia mea e kōkua iā ia e hana iā ia (AʻOLE E HOAʻI E hoʻonā iā ia no ia) a ke hana ʻo ia, e hoʻi hou ʻo ia iā ia iho.
6. E ʻike i kāna ʻōlelo aloha a hoʻohana ia i kou pono
Lana ka manaʻo ua lohe ʻoe i ka puke a Gary Chapman The 5 Love Languages ma mua. Inā ʻaʻole, pono ʻoe e kauoha koke i kahi kope. ʻO kā Chapman premise e ʻike maoli kākou āpau a hōʻike i ke aloha ma hoʻokahi o ʻelima mau ʻano ʻokoʻa. He mea nui ia ʻoe e hōʻike i kou aloha i kāu wahine ma ke ʻano e maopopo ai iā ia ma kahi o ke ala e noʻonoʻo pono ai iā ʻoe.
ʻO kahi laʻana, e ʻōlelo mākou i kāu aloha aloha he mea pili i ke kino a aloha ʻoe iā ia ke hāʻawi ʻoluʻolu iā ʻoe a honi i ka lehulehu. A e ʻōlelo kākou he makana kāna ʻōlelo aloha. Inā manaʻo ʻoe e aloha ʻo ia iā ʻoe me ka hāʻawi ʻana iā ia i nā ʻapo a me nā honi ʻana i ka lehulehu, hewa nui ʻoe. ʻAʻole ʻo ia e noʻonoʻo e hōʻike ana ʻoe i kāna aloha, e ʻike ʻo ia ke kiʻi wale nei ʻoe i kāu mau pono no ke aloha a me ka nānā ʻole iā ia.
7. E kūkulu iā ia i luna
ʻO kēia kahi kahi e pono ai ʻolua i ka mea like. ʻO ka pilikia e hana pinepine nā kāne moʻomeheu i kēia ma mua o ka hana a nā wahine. No laila e hoʻolōʻihi i ka manawa e hōʻike iā ia i kou mahalo nui iā ia (a ʻoi aku ma mua o ka moekolohe wale nō).
ʻO ka nui o kou hoʻoikaika a mahalo iā ia, ʻo ka nui o ka ikaika a me ka hiki iā ia ke paipai a mahalo iā ʻoe. ʻO ia kekahi o nā mea inā ʻoe e alakaʻi i kahi laʻana hiki maʻalahi iā ia ke hahai i kāu hoʻohālike.
Makemake wau e hiki iaʻu ke hāʻawi iā ʻoe i kahi hōʻoia paʻa hao e kūmau mau ke hana nei i kēia mau mea 7 e hauʻoli ai kāu wahine a he mea kupaianaha kou ola pū, akā ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu. ʻOkoʻa nā wahine āpau, akā aneane pau mākou āpau i ka pane ʻana o kā mākou kāne e lilo i hoa aloha na mākou. A hāʻawi ʻia he ola hauʻoli ka makana me ia, kuhi wau e hauʻoli ʻoe i kona lilo ʻana i kāna hoaaloha maikaʻi loa.