Anter
- 1. Koʻikoʻi kou makuahine e lilo i kou hoa aloha
- 2. Pau kēlā me kēia kamaʻilio me ka huhū a hewa paha
- 3. Hoʻomaopopo ʻoe ke kala aku nei ʻoe i nā manawa āpau
- 4. Ke hoʻohewa mau nei ʻo ia i kēlā me kēia neʻe āu e hana ai
- 5. ʻAʻole kūleʻa kou mau kūleʻa iā ia
- Nā helu bonus
He koʻikoʻi koʻikoʻi ka ʻona ma ka nānā ʻole ʻana i ka mea nāna e hele mai. ʻAʻole ia e kāohi iā ʻoe akā hōʻino hoʻi i nā pilina, ʻoiai ke hele mai nā mākua. Hiki i ka makuahine a makua kāne ʻino paha ke hōʻino i kou ola a hiki ke hoʻohaʻahaʻa i kou manaʻo iā ʻoe iho.
Eia nō naʻe, ʻaʻole nui ka poʻe i ʻike he makua ʻona lākou. No nā makuwahine ʻawahia, no ka hemahema paha lākou a i ʻole no ka hopena o ke olakino noʻonoʻo e like me narcissistic a i ʻole borderline pilikino maʻi.
I kekahi mau hihia, hiki i kēia ʻona ma muli o ka makua ʻole o ka makuahine i ka hopena i kahi kūlana i makua ke keiki a hoʻopilikia ʻia e nā ʻano keiki a ko lākou makuahine.
Wahi aʻO Racine R. Henry, Ph.D., kēia kūlana kahi makua o ke keiki ma mua o ka makua e hopena ana i kahi pilina ʻino e wehewehe maikaʻi ʻia ma ke ʻano he "makua" o ke keiki.
Ke kolo nei ka ʻino i ke keiki e pāʻani ana i nā hana kino / ʻona / noʻonoʻo e manaʻo ʻole ʻia e kahi makua, luhi koke ʻo ia a haʻalele i nā kuleana.
Kū aʻe kahi hakakā inā makemake ʻole ka makua e hoʻololi a lawe i ko lākou wahi kūlohelohe i ka pilina.
Inā kānalua ʻoe i kou makuahine no ka mea ʻawaʻawa, ma lalo iho kekahi o nā hōʻailona weliweli āu e makemake ai e nānā a he aha ka mea e hana ai inā he ʻoiaʻiʻo.
1. Koʻikoʻi kou makuahine e lilo i kou hoa aloha
Mai maopopo i kēia ma ka ʻili. Inā ʻoe i nānā Mau kaikamahine na Amy Poehler, a laila ua ʻike paha ʻoe i ke ʻano o ka "cool mom" character. He laʻana maʻamau kēlā o kahi makuahine ʻona.
Maikaʻi loa a hōʻoluʻolu hoʻi ke loaʻa ʻana o kahi makuahine aloha ma ka home a ʻoi aku ka ʻoluʻolu inā hiki iā ia ke lilo i kou hoa aloha. Eia nō naʻe, hiki i kēia hōʻeuʻeu ke hana i kahi kūlana maikaʻi ʻole ke lawe ʻia i kahi mamao loa.
ʻO ka hapanui o nā manawa e huli kūʻē kēia mau māmā ʻoluʻolu i kā lākou mau keiki e like me ka hana a kahi hoa aloha ʻawahia.
Hana lākou i kēia me ka hana pono ʻole ʻana i ka hoʻokūkū me kā lākou poʻe keiki a me ke komo ʻana i nā mea āpau e holoi ai i ko lākou hilinaʻi.
Pono e haʻalele ʻia ka hae ʻulaʻula i kēia hanana 'cool mom' ke ʻike mau ʻoe i ka hoʻokūkū mai kou makuahine ma kahi o ke aloha a me ke kākoʻo. Wahi a Debbie Mandel, kahi mea kākau a me ka loea hoʻokele koʻikoʻi, ʻo ka mea maikaʻi loa e hana ai i kēia hihia ke hana i kahi mamao ma waena o ʻolua a kau i kekahi mau palena.
2. Pau kēlā me kēia kamaʻilio me ka huhū a hewa paha
Makemake kēlā me kēia keiki i ka loaʻa ʻana o nā mākua hiki iā lākou ke huli i ka wā e pā ai lākou i ka pōhaku a i lalo a i waho e hele ai i waho. ʻAʻole maopopo i nā makuahine ʻona ʻole kēia manaʻo maʻalahi.
Makemake mau lākou e huli i kēlā me kēia kamaʻilio a me nā pilikia e pili ana iā lākou iho, e hoʻonāukiuki ana i kā lākou mau keiki, hewa a ʻike ʻole ʻia paha.
ʻAʻole ʻae nā makuahine ʻona iā ʻoe e hoʻopā i nā mea i hewa, hoʻohuli mau lākou iā ʻoe a hōʻino iā ʻoe i ka hopena.
Ma hope iho, hopena ʻoe me nā huhū nui. A i ka wā o kēia ka hihia, maikaʻi wale nō ia iā ʻoe e hoʻohuli i nā mea a ʻike i kahi mea hiki iā ʻoe ke hilinaʻi ke haʻahaʻa ʻoe, e like me kahi hoa aloha, kaukōkō a i ʻole hoa hana e hoʻohuli ʻole i ka mea āpau e pili ana iā lākou e waiho ana iā ʻoe i ka ʻinoʻino loa. .
3. Hoʻomaopopo ʻoe ke kala aku nei ʻoe i nā manawa āpau
ʻO ka hiki ʻole ke kala aku ke ʻano kiʻekiʻe loa o ke ʻano makua ʻole. Inā ʻoe e ʻike i kahi neʻe e koi ana iā ʻoe e kala mau i nā manawa a pau e hewa ai kekahi mea ma waena o ʻoe a me kou makuahine, a laila e noʻonoʻo ʻoe i kēia hae ʻulaʻula.
He mea paʻakikī ka poʻe Toxic i ka lawe ʻana i ke kuleana a me ka hāpai ʻana i nā hopena o kā lākou koho a me ka lawena.
Inā ʻo kēia ka hihia me kou makuahine, malia paha he ʻawahia ia. No laila, akahai e ʻike i kahi mamao ma waena o ʻolua a hōʻoluʻolu nā mea ke loaʻa kahi kūʻē ʻole kahi hiki ʻole iā ia ke ʻike i kāu noi no ke kala kala.
4. Ke hoʻohewa mau nei ʻo ia i kēlā me kēia neʻe āu e hana ai
ʻO ka loiloi wale nō ka mea a kahi makuahine ʻona (a i ʻole nā mākua ʻona i ʻike ākea) ʻike. Koho nā makuahine ʻona i kēlā me kēia mea liʻiliʻi e pili ana i kā lākou keiki makua a ʻike ʻole i nā hopena maikaʻi ʻole.
Inā manaʻo ʻoe he makuahine ʻona ʻoe, ʻike ʻoe ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i kekahi mea kūpono e like me ia. He hihia maʻamau kēia o kāna hakakā ʻana me ka makua ʻole.
ʻO ke ala maikaʻi loa akā paʻakikī paha e nānā ʻole i kāna mau ʻōlelo hōʻeha a hoʻāʻo e ʻimi i ka hōʻoia a me nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo mai kekahi mau kumuwaiwai ʻē aʻe i hiki iā ʻoe.
5. ʻAʻole kūleʻa kou mau kūleʻa iā ia
He maʻamau a maʻamau loa ke paʻakikī ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana o nā mākua i ka ulu ʻana o kā lākou keiki a lilo i poʻe hoʻomaka.
Eia nō naʻe, mea maikaʻi ʻole e hoʻāʻo kekahi mau mākua, ʻo ka makuahine makua ʻole hoʻi, e kāohi iā ʻoe mai ka kūleʻa ʻana.
ʻAʻole lākou makemake e kūleʻa ʻoe iā ʻoe iho. Ua wehewehe lākou i ka makemake ʻole iā ia.
Nā helu bonus
E hōʻike pū kahi makuahine ʻona e like me:
- ʻO ke kamaʻilio kūpono ʻana me ia kahi kaʻaahi ʻaʻole ia e kau i kēlā me kēia manawa koke
- ʻAʻole ia e kākoʻo i kou pilina i kēia manawa. Ke hoʻokau mau nei ʻo ia i kahi kāhue ma waena ou a me kāu mea i aloha ai. ʻAʻole ʻo ia ke ʻano e hōʻole iā ia; ʻaʻole wale ʻo ia e ʻae iā ʻoe e hauʻoli me kekahi
- He manipulative ʻo ia, e hoʻāʻo nei e lanakila ma luna ou a i ʻole ke ala i ka hoʻonāukiuki ʻana i kou minamina i nā manawa āpau
- Kūleʻa mau ʻo ia iā ʻoe me nā mea liʻiliʻi a noʻonoʻo ʻole paha
- Ke kauō nei ʻo ia iā ʻoe e hoʻoponopono i kāna mau pilikia āpau a hoʻopiʻi iā ʻoe ke hewa nā mea
- Hele ʻo ia i ka kaohi ʻana iā ʻoe a me kou mau kaikaina a makemake e hoʻohuli i nā kaikaina i kekahi i kekahi, no laila ʻaʻole ia i haʻalele ʻia a manaʻo he pono i nā manawa āpau.
No nā kumu āpau no ke kumu e hoʻoholo ai ka makuahine e lilo i mea ʻawaʻawa - no ka makua ʻole paha, nā pilikia i hōʻike ʻole ʻia o ka wā i hala a ma muli paha o kahi ʻano pilikino, ʻaʻohe wahi o ka ʻona ma ka ʻohana. A ʻaʻohe mea nui ka paʻakikī o ka hana ʻana, pono ʻoe i kekahi mau palena e pale aku ai iā ʻoe a hana i kou ulu pilikino. Hoʻoulu paha ka manaʻo i kou makuahine e loli.