Inā ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i kahi ʻūpā āpau o ka manawa koke, kahaha paha ʻoe i ka hiki i kou ola ke maʻalahi inā heluhelu ʻoe i kekahi o nā puke makua makua i wae ʻia.
E kūpaʻa kākou, paʻakikī ka makua. Hiki i ka makua hānau kahi mea paʻakikī loa āu i hana ai i kou ola holoʻokoʻa.
Kupaianaha pehea ka nui o nā hurdles hiki iā ʻoe (a ʻo ka hapanui paha) e kū i kou ala. Eia nō naʻe, hiki iā ia ke lilo i ʻike maikaʻi loa, keu hoʻi inā hui pū ʻia kou ʻohana a me nā ʻohana o kāu wahine hou i loko o kahi ʻakaʻaka nui a me nā haunaele.
Eia kahi koho o nā puke ʻehā e pili ana i ke ola a holomua ma ke ʻano he stepparent.
1. ʻO ka naʻauao ma luna o nā mākua-pae: Pehea e kūleʻa ai i kahi e kū ʻole ai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e Diana Weiss-Wisdom Ph.D.
ʻO Diana Weiss-Wisdom, Ph.D., he psychologist laikini i hana ma ke ʻano he pilina a me ka ʻaha kūkāʻohana, a ma ke ʻano he hana nui kāna hana. Eia nō naʻe, he kaikamahine hānau ʻo ia a me kahi makuahine makuahine.
No laila, e like me kāu e ʻike ai mai kāna kākau ʻana, ʻo kāna hana he hui o ka ʻike ʻoihana a me ka ʻike pilikino. ʻO kēia ka mea i waiwai nui ka puke no nā mea āpau e kū i mua o nā pilikia he nui i ka hānai ʻana i nā keiki a kā lākou wahine.
Hāʻawi kāna puke e pili ana i ka makua hana ʻelua i nā ʻenehana kūpono a me nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo no nā ʻohana-ʻohana a me nā moʻolelo pilikino mai ka ʻike o kāna mea kūʻai aku. E like me ka mea a ka mea kākau i ʻōlelo ai, ʻo ka lilo ʻana i stepparent ʻaʻole ia kahi mea āu i koho ai e hana, he mea ia e kū ʻia iā ʻoe.
No kēlā kumu, paʻakikī loa ia, akā na kāna puke e hoʻolako iā ʻoe me nā pono hana kūpono a me nā mākau hana hiki ke hiki. Hāʻawi ia iā ʻoe i ka optimism āu e pono ai e hoʻokō i ka ʻohana huikau olakino a aloha aloha āu e manaʻo nei.
2. Ke alakaʻi a ke kaikamahine hoʻokahi no ka male ʻana i kahi kāne, kāna mau keiki, a me kāna wahine mua: e lilo ana i makuahine makuahine me ka hoʻomākeʻaka a me ka lokomaikaʻi na Sally Bjornsen.
E like me ka mea kākau mua, ʻo Bjornsen kahi makua kāne a me kahi mea kākau. ʻAʻole kāna hana a psychology-oriented e like me ka puke ma mua, akā ʻo ka mea e hāʻawi iā ʻoe he ʻike lima mua ʻoiaʻiʻo. A, mai nānā ʻole, hoʻomākeʻaka. Pono kēlā me kēia stepmom hou ma mua o ka manawa āpau a ʻo ia nō kekahi o nā puke makua makua ʻē aʻe i hiki ke loaʻa ma kāu waihona.
Me ka pā o ka hoʻomākeʻaka, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i kahi kaulike ma waena o kou mau manaʻo a me kou makemake e hālāwai me nā makemake o kēlā me kēia kanaka a lilo i kanaka hou maikaʻi i ke ola o nā keiki.
He nui nā ʻāpana o ka puke - nā kekahi ma nā keiki e alakaʻi iā ʻoe ma o ka maʻamau a me ka mea i manaʻo ʻia akā paʻakikī e mālama i nā pilikia, e like me ka huhū, hoʻoponopono, mālama ʻia a pēlā aku. ka ʻāpana i nā lā nui, nā kuʻuna a me nā hana ʻohana hou a kahiko. ʻO ka hope loa, pili ia i ka pehea e mālama ai i ke kuko a me ke aloha i ka wā e lawe koke ʻia kou ola e kāna mau keiki me ka loaʻa ʻole o ka manawa e hoʻomākaukau ai.
3. ʻO ka Stepfamily akamai: ʻehiku mau wāwae i kahi ʻohana olakino na Ron L. Deal
Ma waena o nā puke makua hana ʻanuʻu, ʻo kēia kekahi o nā puke maikaʻi loa, a no ke kumu kūpono. He mea laikini ka mea kākau a me kahi hoʻoponopono ʻohana a he mea hoʻokumu i Smart Stepfamilies, Luna Hoʻokele o FamilyLife Blend.
He mea kamaʻilio pinepine ʻo ia ma ka pāpāho aupuni. No laila, ʻo kēia ka puke e kūʻai a kaʻana like ai me nā hoaaloha.
I loko o laila, ʻike ʻoe i ʻehiku mau hana maʻalahi a me ke kūpono i ka pale ʻana a me ka hoʻonā ʻana i nā pilikia i kū i ka hapanui (inā ʻaʻole āpau). He kūpono a maoli ia, a mai ka hana nui a ka mea kākau i kēia wahi. E aʻo ʻoe pehea e kamaʻilio ai me ka Ex, pehea e hoʻoponopono ai i nā kūpina maʻamau a pehea e hoʻokele ai i ke kālā i loko o kēlā ʻohana, a me nā mea hou aku.
4. Stepmonster: Ke nānā hou i ke kumu e noʻonoʻo ai, e noʻonoʻo ai, a hana ai ke ʻano o nā mākua wahine maoli i ke ala a mākou e hana ai e ka Pōʻakolu Martin Ph.D.
ʻO ka mea kākau o kēia puke he mea kākau a me ka noiʻi noiʻi kaiāulu, a, ʻo ka mea nui loa, he loea i nā mākua a me nā pilikia makua i kū i nā hōʻike he nui e kūkākūkā ana i nā pilikia i hui pū ʻia me nā ʻohana.
Ua lilo kāna puke i mea kūʻai aku koke ʻia ʻo New York Times. Hāʻawi kēia puke i ka ʻepekema, ka noiʻi kaiāulu, a me ka ʻike pilikino.
ʻO ka mea hoihoi, kūkākūkā ka mea kākau i ka hoʻokalakupua i ke kumu e lilo ai i mea paʻakikī ke lilo i makuahine makuahine. Hoʻopiʻi pinepine ʻia nā stepmoms no ka holo pono ʻole i ka hoʻokumu ʻana i kahi pilina olakino ma waena ona a me nā keiki - e noʻonoʻo iā Cinderella, Snow White, a me nā moʻoheʻe ʻeleu a pau.
Hōʻike kēia puke i ka moemoeā o nā mākua wahine he stepmonsters a hōʻike pehea he ʻelima mau "step-dilemmas" e hoʻokumu i ka hakakā i loko o nā ʻohana i hui ʻia. A he ʻelua (a ʻoi paha) ke tango!